the "Lets Meet Up for 5 to 15 minute"

[corona20]

Anyone notice if this gets them to say yes and commit more than the other "lets go for a drink"? Personally, yes imo. What you guys think?

 

[The Duke]

The same thing you might accomplish by meeting up for 5-15 minutes I can do over the phone/texts and I didn't have to get cleaned up an drive anywhere.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Depends on the girl. If you are talking to a single mom, self procalimed queen, who reads The Female Dating Strategy; they wont accept anything less than an invitation to dinner.

So keep doing it. You definetely want to avoid the women I just mentioned.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I actually discovered, and strongly prefer, to have either a phone call or video call prior to the first date. This alone has brought flakiness down to zero.

It's a form of frame, vetting, and building rapport which is much needed these days.

 

[SW15]

The same thing you might accomplish by meeting up for 5-15 minutes I can do over the phone/texts and I didn't have to get cleaned up an drive anywhere.

Yes. Also, if a man feels the need to pitch 5-15 minute meetings with swipe app prospects, he might as well choose some stranger approach method where he can have 5-15 minute conversations and then propose a date if that 5-15 minute conversation goes well.

I actually discovered, and strongly prefer, to have either a phone call or video call prior to the first date. This alone has brought flakiness down to zero.

It's a form of frame, vetting, and building rapport which is much needed these days.

Back in the early 2010s, I started running into phone call problems with women from online dating websites and then later swipe apps. It was very difficult to get a 1980s born Millennial woman to actually use a telephone for voice conversations. There were issues with unreturned calls. I also did not notice phone calls prior to dates having any impact on my failed first date rate. I was having a problem with "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. Before stopping swipe apps, I stopped phone calls prior to dates.

The video call tactic is better than phone calls. I can see how it might reduce flaking. However, it's a extra layer of complexity. By the time you arrange and complete a video call, you might as well have approached a stranger in-person and gotten a date agreement that way.

 

[The Duke]

@SW15 I noticed the issues with calling as well. Most of the younger ones wouldn't answer the phone. I'd always send a text after an unanswered call and that usually got the communication going.

Some of the older women I dated were not into texting at all. They wanted a phone call to get things kicked off before going out.

 

[SW15]

Women born in the late 1970s and the very early 1980s are still capable of using the phone, though I've noticed some women born between 1982-1984 who had phone for voice call issues. Once you get into women born in the 2nd half of the 1980s (1985-1989), the lack of phone conversation stuff picks up dramatically.

In 2023, a woman born in 1985-1989 is past her prime too. A lot of those 1985-1989 born women are off the market now, as many are married. A lot of these women are having the "Last Call" babies that they postponed now.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Anyone notice if this gets them to say yes and commit more than the other "lets go for a drink"? Personally, yes imo. What you guys think?

I've never had this said to me. Maybe find more interested women? Guarantee they would never only want to meet for 5 minutes

 

[EyeBRollin]

Too short. Women spend an hour minimum (more like 2-3) getting ready to meet a guy. That’s one contributor to them flaking. She thinks - why do all this work to meet a guy when five are giving me digital attention?

 

[characternote]

The video call tactic is better than phone calls. However, it's a extra layer of complexity. By the time you arrange and complete a video call, you might as well have approached a stranger in-person and gotten a date agreement that way.

I guess it's just a form of screening. If you are doing a video call with a girl from a dating app, she's already swiped right on you. She thinks you're hot.
If you just approach a random stranger, unless you are very good looking to the point that nearly all girls are going to think you are hot, then it's very likely that she'll have no interest in you and the approach will be in vain

 

[SW15]

I guess it's just a form of screening. If you are doing a video call with a girl from a dating app, she's already swiped right on you. She thinks you're hot. If you just approach a random stranger, unless you are very good looking to the point that nearly all girls are going to think you are hot, then it's very likely that she'll have no interest in you and the approach will be in vain

You're comparing apples and oranges. An initial approach is the same as an initial right swipe. That's the comparison that needs to be made. Most in-person approaches are in vain, just as most right swipes are in vain.

The apples to apples comparison would come at about 5-10 minutes into an in-person approach vs. a mutual swipe and a phone number exchange (+ possible video call). If you believe in the Torero-Krauser daygame model (Open-Stack-Vibe-Invest-Close), you're comparing the invest stage of a daygame approach with where you'd be online after a mutual swipe, number exchange on the swipe app, and maybe a couple of texts to the regular phone number.

How many approaches does it take to get to "invest" in Torero-Krauser? How many right swipes does it take to get a woman to swipe right on you, not flake on in-app messaging, give you her phone number, and then have some sort of text exchange on her regular phone (+ a video call)? Is Torero-Krauser style daygame going to be more efficient and more effective in producing quality first dates (ones that aren't "one date, no sex, no second date) or is app swiping (with/without video calls) going to be more efficient and more effective?

 

[jaymbrs]

I actually discovered, and strongly prefer, to have either a phone call or video call prior to the first date. This alone has brought flakiness down to zero.

It's a form of frame, vetting, and building rapport which is much needed these days.

I still don’t like those. OLD is already so impersonal and this adds to it. It’s so “job interview” like. Takes a lot of the naturalness out.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I still don’t like those. OLD is already so impersonal and this adds to it. It’s so “job interview” like. Takes a lot of the naturalness out.

And for video you look worse on camera than in person or in pics. It's awkward and lots of opportunity for scrutiny or her part *and* you have to clean up your appearance as you would for a date.

I do phone calls but only if she's horny and requesting it. And again, an opportunity for scrutiny as many will try to catch you "off guard" to see if you violate any of her checklist items.

You want to vet women, but at the same time limit how much they can vet you (pre-sex).

 

[manfrombelow]

Way too complicated, OP.

If you are 100% certain she has positive Interest Level in you, a simple "Hey let's meetup this Friday at X venue and Y time" is more than enough.

Because, let's face it, if she hasn't liked you enough to begin with, no amount of wording for the date offer could lure her out of her cave to see you.

Again, way too complicated for such a simple matter, OP.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I actually discovered, and strongly prefer, to have either a phone call or video call prior to the first date. This alone has brought flakiness down to zero.

In my experience, “best practice” was to just save everything for the in-person date and just double book them. If she flakes, it is because she thinks she found a better option and that is her loss.

Phone calls and video calls pre-date I recommend on a requested only basis (has to be her idea). It shows some level of cautiousness on her part, which is not a good sign for OLD. This is valuable information to have, so it’s best to let her low(ish) interest level show itself than you do it for her. (She wants to “chat more” because she is broken and reeling from Chads running through her)

 

[manfrombelow]

I've never even imagined how uncomfortable and awkward it would be for the girl to receive a "video call" before the fvcking 1st date, just because the dude wanted to "build rapport" (which, ironically, should be the purpose of the 1st date).

Some of you folks are making this way too over-complicated.

 

[SW15]

I've never even imagined how uncomfortable and awkward it would be for the girl to receive a "video call" before the fvcking 1st date, just because the dude wanted to "build rapport" (which, ironically, should be the purpose of the 1st date).

Some of you folks are making this way too over-complicated.

I can understand why a man would want to arrange a video call. The whole point would be to do it in an effort to reduce the probability of a bad first date. Too many men are sick of failed first date interactions.

I agree that it is a layer of complexity and I favor arranging dates through in-person methods as compared to swipe apps + video calls prior to an in-person date.

 

[corona20]

Update, im talking about woman you know in real life, coworker, schoolmate, etc that you have known a bit but want to "date"

 

[bat soup]

Anyone notice if this gets them to say yes and commit more than the other "lets go for a drink"? Personally, yes imo. What you guys think?

I'm quick but not that quick.