Should I completely cut this "mutual" friend out of my life?

[Billtx49]

It does affect people differently, but what does it tell you about a person who slaps women's arses without consent?

It tells me a man that’s mentally a loose cannon can roll anywhere when alcohol greases the wheels…
Keep in mind you didn’t personally see it happening.

 

[Sgthaytham]

No - I am saying I don't know. But I do understand how women work. And many women love getting validation from as many men as possible. Your GF would just be showing a trait common to the female mindset.

Remember, the simplest explanation is often correct. A "friend" of you guys suddenly, out of the blue, deciding to just slap her ass without her showing some signs of flirtation herself would be odd behavior.

The slap was out of the blue (unless he's done it to other women before), but his behavior has been odd before. Many women I know have mentioned that they felt uncomfortable either by the things he said or the actions he made.

So this isn't exactly a one-off, is it?

Women seek validation, yes, many of us already know that. That's why women use social media. But this has nothing to do with validation.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Who told you this? Its a lie. Its a western lie that is meant to shame you.

A lie? Please develop. How is telling her to stay at home and not go out with people until I'm there not manipulative?

It's a pretty insecure and weak thing to do.

 

[Sgthaytham]

I think what he means is it is on a sub level. She tells you with her mouth but her fuzzies say otherswise. Women like being objectified.
I think you are on the right track with it but I do see you are all in on what she tells you so you will have to work that experience out for yourself. I hope it works out.
I have been in similiar situations myself. Its never a cake walk.

I've already mentioned she's SHOWN me through her ACTIONS that I can trust her and that she doesn't belong to the streets.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Young man you got a lot to learn. This i suspect is not going to end well. You only have 3 options and the one you chose is YOU being manipulated lol
But hey you do you.

Answer me, then.
How is telling her to stay at home and not go out with people until I'm there not manipulative?
It's a pretty insecure and weak thing to do.

And now I'm being "manipulated" because I trust her actions??

 

[Dr.Suave]

Who told you this? Its a lie. Its a western lie that is meant to shame you.

You are probably right.

 

[Barrister]

The slap was out of the blue (unless he's done it to other women before), but his behavior has been odd before. Many women I know have mentioned that they felt uncomfortable either by the things he said or the actions he made.

So this isn't exactly a one-off, is it?

Women seek validation, yes, many of us already know that. That's why women use social media. But this has nothing to do with validation.

Well - you are giving more information now than your original post by saying it isn't a one-off.

My question is why are you getting so defensive? You seem very quick to defend this girl's honor and refuse to believe she even had a small fraction of the fault in it coming about. Trusting your GF is not a bad thing; refusing to believe she is even capable of enjoying attention from another man is plain naive. We are offering advice based upon experience. You can choose to ignore it, but it doesn't change reality.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Anyway, my GF mentioned to me that this guy had slapped her on the arse. I asked if she wanted me to have a word with him, but she said that she had talked to him about it. He might have slapped her beforehand, but she isn't sure, and said that it could have been him considered he did it later on during the night.

So he is continuously slapping your GF's arse. She gave you in girl code that she wanted you to confront this guy and you didn't do shvt because you wanted to remain calm and collective. You can approach your "friend" in a calm and collective manner and confront him about this. Calm and collective doesn't mean being a passive bvsh.

Why the f*** would he do it? He knows we're together and being drunk isn't an excuse.

You haven't been redpilled on the power of pvssy yet? Pvssy can easily break up the strongest friend groups, so do not be naive. I am really careful & picky about the friends I introduce the women I am dating to. Don't also be surprised that if y'all break up, your friend group chooses her over you. This is why I don't advocate social circle game at all because everyone will side with the woman.

Many people women I know have mentioned his behavior before and how it's made them feel uncomfortable. I've had my eye on him, too, because he gets really tactile. I never mentioned anything to my GF because I trust her and I know she would tell me if she felt uncomfortable (which she did in this case).

This dude has violated your GF, there's no more speculation or analyzing about this anymore. Girl's are weak when it comes to resolving shvt like this, so of course she's going to be shy about it. It's time to confront this dude now. If it is some random drunk guy at a bar, I get it because that what comes with dating hotter women. However, if it is your friend then he needs to be confronted by YOU ASAP.

 

[jaymbrs]

That's disrespectful on all counts. If he's also your friend, you have every right to confront him on it, whether your GF likes it or not.

 

[DonJuanjr]

That's disrespectful on all counts. If he's also your friend, you have every right to confront him on it, whether your GF likes it or not.

This^^^

I'd see it as a lack of respect if an acquaintance/friend that knew I was with the woman, slapped her a$$.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Wholeheartedly agree with this^ and for context @Sgthaytham I'm female.

You're so quick to disregard HER role in what happened to HER and playing "protector" but I'm of the belief where there's smoke there's fire.

They were both drinking and he slapped her arse, then runs home and tells you (her savior) about it. Drama, drama, drama. WTF.

Between this thread and your last, my advice is stop listening to everything she tells you like it's gospel, take this girl off the pedestal you've placed her on and hold her accountable for what happens to her in her own life, when warranted, like here imo.

You'd be a fool not to OP.

Again, 9 times out of 10, where's there's smoke there's fire; its more than likely she has not shared with you the entite story.

I find it hard to believe no man would want to know about it asap...

A guy, who has had multiple run-ins with other women who have claimed he has touched them inappropriately and/or made unwanted remarks, slaps my GF on her ass, and she comes to me to tell me... and I'm supposed to wonder if my GF is being sincere or not? Question whether I can even trust what she says??

What do you personally think happened, then?

You think she made some flirty remarks, he thought it was a green light, and proceeded to slap her arse?

What situation can you possibly imagine that could possibly mean I should be looking into my GF and finding out the "real" series of events?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I find it hard to believe no man would want to know about it asap...

A guy, who has had multiple run-ins with other women who have claimed he has touched them inappropriately and/or made unwanted remarks, slaps my GF on her ass, and she comes to me to tell me... and I'm supposed to wonder if my GF is being sincere or not? Question whether I can even trust what she says??

What do you personally think happened, then?

You think she made some flirty remarks, he thought it was a green light, and proceeded to slap her arse?

What situation can you possibly imagine that could possibly mean I should be looking into my GF and finding out the "real" series of events?

Instead of wasting your time arguing with men with obvious PTSD & vindictiveness against from some toxic female that curbed them in the past; you should be confronting this POS that violated your GF.

It’s your GF, you should already have enough trust in her. If you don’t then you need to break up with her now because your relationship is fvcking pointless. Don’t let this toxicity poison your mind.

 

[Sgthaytham]

I don't think you should do anything, except take what she tells you with a pinch of salt.

Imo, the correct response would have been 'I'm sorry that happened."

Period, change subject.

By feeding into this drama and being so quick to jump to her defense without knowing all the facts, you appear a bit pathetic, sorry.

Again, this is your social circle, they were both drinking, she told you he slapped her arse.

Truth is you don't know what the hell truly happened, you've only got her word.

And women do have a tendency to exaggerate sometimes, especially when drinking. They also love to run home, tell boyfriends.

It's somewhat of shyt test and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.

I'm not suggesting you distrust what she said, but don't take it as gospel either.

Your reaction is over the top and overly emotional.

She wasn't raped or sexually assaulted, a mutual friend tapped/slapped her ass when both were drinking, most likely in a playful way as friends do, nothing malicious.

Let it go, move on from it.

The fact is my GF did not take it that way, and that's precisely what made her feel uncomfortable.

I would have thought, seeing as you're a woman, you wouldn't be saying these kind of things.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Instead of wasting your time arguing with men with obvious PTSD & vindictiveness against from some toxic female that curbed them in the past; you should be confronting this POS that violated your GF.

It’s your GF, you should already have enough trust in her. If you don’t then you need to break up with her now because your relationship is fvcking pointless. Don’t let this toxicity poison your mind.

I trust her completely and entirely. I'm sick and tired of hearing many on here saying I should look into what "really happened" and if my GF did anything to warrant it. She has not behaved in any way that I would consider a red flag. Her actions match her words.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I trust her completely and entirely. I'm sick and tired of hearing many on here saying I should look into what "really happened" and if my GF did anything to warrant it. She has not behaved in any way that I would consider a red flag. Her actions match her words.

If your wife/Gf gets sexually assaulted and your first inclination is to interrogate her like an opposing attorney then you truly are something lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Well I know and understand how many women operate.

How they love to employ shyt tests and create drama where none exists. I used to be just like this myself actually, not proud to admit.

I would advise taking a look at your relationship, she may be bored and created this little drama to stir things up.

Get you wound up and all "protective" rescuing her from the big bad world, lol..

IDK, but as a woman something does not smell quite right about this whole thing.

Good luck though.

this is awful, OP please don’t let this poster poison your mind. This is classic crabs in the bucket toxicity.

 

[Macadellic]

Let your girl decide if she wants to keep this hands on booty slapping guy friend in her life and you’ll have your answer on who you want to keep or cut off from your life as your girlfriend.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I trust her completely and entirely. I'm sick and tired of hearing many on here saying I should look into what "really happened" and if my GF did anything to warrant it. She has not behaved in any way that I would consider a red flag. Her actions match her words.

Wow bro. I get you. Sometimes you just have a good thing going and some people just cant be happy for you.

 

[Barrister]

Wholeheartedly agree with this^ and for context @Sgthaytham I'm female.

You're so quick to disregard HER role in what happened to HER and playing "protector" but I'm of the belief where there's smoke there's fire.

They were both drinking and he slapped her arse, then runs home and tells you (her savior) about it. Drama, drama, drama. WTF.

Between this thread and your last, my advice is stop listening to everything she tells you like it's gospel, take this girl off the pedestal you've placed her on and hold her accountable for what happens to her in her own life, when warranted, like here imo.

You'd be a fool not to OP.

Again, 9 times out of 10, where's there's smoke there's fire; its more than likely she has not shared with you the entire story.

OP is naive and it is showing in this thread.

Unfortunately, there are certain lessons where experience is the harshest, but by far the best teacher. I won't be surprised when in about 6 months OP will be back here talking about how this angelic GF of is is suddenly going cold, losing interest, and talking to other men, and then saying she is for the streets.

It's funny, but the longer you spend here at SS the better you get at reading between the lines and seeing that many posters have problems they don't even realize are bubbling under the surface. This is one of those moments. If I am wrong I will happily admit it.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

OP is naive and it is showing in this thread.

Unfortunately, there are certain lessons where experience is the harshest, but by far the best teacher. I won't be surprised when in about 6 months OP will be back here talking about how this angelic GF of is is suddenly going cold, losing interest, and talking to other men, and then saying she is for the streets.

It's funny, but the longer you spend here at SS the better you get at reading between the lines and seeing that many posters have problems they don't even realize are bubbling under the surface. This is one of those moments. If I am wrong I will happily admit it.

I agree that op is likely screwed from him having his GF entangled in a toxic social circle group. My issue is that OP came on SS for help and people immediately went butt hurt toxic red pill male mode and started attacking the GF. Even if the girl is a 304, confronting the friend would’ve unraveled that anyway.