I need some texting advice

[sceneparade]

Hello,

A girl offered me her number without me requesting it. I have been texting her to build rapport, which was going REALLY well. We clicked through texting, she laughed at everything I said, lots of emojis from her, and she was engaging.

I then took her on a date. At the end of the date she said she fun. I asked her to text me when she gets home so I know she got home safely, which she did.

After the date and after she text me she got home safely, she was responding to texts the same minute I sent them to know more than 3mins. Normally she texts anywhere from 5mins to 1.5 hours, depending on what she is doing.

As it was going well, I asked her when she was available for another date, which she would let me know at the end of the week as she has job interviews that week.

I then left didn't text her for a week. But in that time, I spoke with a mutual friend of ours and she asked me how things were going with this girl. I told her it seemed to be going well and that this girl had a great personality and is attractive and great body.

I then text the girl after a week and she took 40 hours, roughly, to text back. This was only after her friend said not to take it personally, but said girl was busy etc. The girl I took on a date now texts every couple of hours to texts again.

I think she had high interest in the beginning, but now has low interest.

Can anyone offer reasons why? Do I mirror her and take hours to respond?

My mate who is quite a ladies man suggests I am too cold with her. I didn't compliment her on the date, I never compliment on texts, and he says I am too unaffectionate, and that women will lose interest. When he won over his girlfriend, he showered her with compliments and was direct with her and took her back to his on the first date and slept with her. She complied.

So, I can I re-attract this woman? If so, how? And which methods do I follow. The ones where I don't validate women or the ones he does?

 

[Dr.Suave]

She will let you know at the end of the week? Damn bro. This is probably a lost cause now.

Maybe play dumb and keep texting her but more or less mirror her response time. If she doesnt bring up the date soon, you have your answer.

 

[Divorced w 3]

this was my evening. I had my hand on her ass (inside her jeans, thx) but she insisted on post work drinks before putting out. She asked for my number. Maybe we’ll go Tuesday. She’s cute.

 

[Dr.Suave]

this was my evening. I had my hand on her ass (inside her jeans, thx) but she insisted on post work drinks before putting out. She asked for my number. Maybe we’ll go Tuesday. She’s cute.

View attachment 9519

Is this the 25 year old hottie?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Is this the 25 year old hottie?

Nah she’s out. This is a girl from downtown manhattan (Ulysses @Jesse Pinkman ) last night. i saw her eyeing me when she saw me get approached by a 2 set and she made her move. She’s a nut but she’s fun

 

[manfrombelow]

Hello,

A girl offered me her number without me requesting it.

1. Very good. Ask her out with something short and light such as: "When are you free to get together this weekend? Let's go to X venue at Y time and talk more."

I have been texting her to build rapport, which was going REALLY well. We clicked through texting, she laughed at everything I said, lots of emojis from her, and she was engaging.

2. This is the number One mistake that all rookies made: You build rapport with a girl in a real date, not through texting. You want to be her lover, not her penpal. You can only penetrate her (literally) in real life, not on phone screens.

As it was going well, I asked her when she was available for another date, which she would let me know at the end of the week as she has job interviews that week.

3. If the 1st date really went that well, you should sit back, relax and wait for her to initiate texts, only then you ask her out the second time. The fact you asked her out immediately after the 1st date (and also it was NOT a definite date) made you look needy, thus lowered her interest level.

I then left didn't text her for a week. But in that time, I spoke with a mutual friend of ours and she asked me how things were going with this girl. I told her it seemed to be going well and that this girl had a great personality and is attractive and great body.

I then text the girl after a week and she took 40 hours, roughly, to text back. This was only after her friend said not to take it personally, but said girl was busy etc. The girl I took on a date now texts every couple of hours to texts again.

4. So now she took her sweet time to reply back to you "every couple of hours". This means a very low interest level from her side.

I think she had high interest in the beginning, but now has low interest.

5. Correct. That's female 101 for you, young bro.

Can anyone offer reasons why? Do I mirror her and take hours to respond?

6. We are not psychics so we cannot really read minds, but if I have to take a guess, then like I said before: The fact you did not wait for her to initiate contact after the 1st date lowered her interest. And perhaps the 1st date didn't go as "perfect" as you might have thought.

When a girl is being difficult (due to having low interest), there's NOTHING to do but to stop contacting her, which means leaving her alone, and moving on to talking/meeting/seducing other girls. This girl might (or might not) get back to you later, but it doesn't matter. You don't sit there crossing your fingers hoping a person who doesn't want you that much to text or call you.

My mate who is quite a ladies man suggests I am too cold with her. I didn't compliment her on the date, I never compliment on texts, and he says I am too unaffectionate, and that women will lose interest. When he won over his girlfriend, he showered her with compliments and was direct with her and took her back to his on the first date and slept with her. She complied.

7. I have no comments on your mate.

So, I can I re-attract this woman? If so, how? And which methods do I follow. The ones where I don't validate women or the ones he does?

8. None of us was present at your 1st date to observe your behaviors (how/what you said and acted around her) so it's hard to give you a list of what and what not to do. However, with some effort to search through this forum regarding the topic of dating and seducing, you might find your answers.

About this particular woman. Attraction is non-negotiable. You cannot convince/force/negotiate a woman to like you if she doesn't want to. Just stop contacting her, and start seducing other women.

 

[manfrombelow]

She will let you know at the end of the week? Damn bro. This is probably a lost cause now.

Maybe play dumb and keep texting her but more or less mirror her response time. If she doesnt bring up the date soon, you have your answer.

The fvck @Dr.Suave ? Someone hacked your account or something?

This girl is having low to extremely low interest in poor OP and you're telling him to "keep texting her"? The fvck is wrong with you seriously?

 

[manfrombelow]

Her waiting 40 hours after you waited a week, in a way, was HER mirroring you!

May I ask why you waited a week? But now griping because she waited 40 hours?

Just text her man, don't wait, make a plan and stop playing silly goobers, lol.

Perhaps we didn't read the same thing, but OP stopped texting her for a week AFTER she said she'd let him know at the end of the week, which we could assume that she didn't get back to him at all. To this point, OP did it correctly.

 

[Dr.Suave]

The fvck @Dr.Suave ? Someone hacked your account or something?

This girl is having low to extremely low interest in poor OP and you're telling him to "keep texting her"? The fvck is wrong with you seriously?

I said maybe keep texting her as long as he mirrors her response time. But its a Hail Mary because I did say this is probably a lost cause.

OP should focus on other girls. He is probably nos spinning plates, if he was, he would not have made a thread about this girl. He should be so busy he doesnt have time for low interest girls.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hello,

A girl offered me her number without me requesting it. I have been texting her to build rapport, which was going REALLY well. We clicked through texting, she laughed at everything I said, lots of emojis from her, and she was engaging.

I then took her on a date. At the end of the date she said she fun. I asked her to text me when she gets home so I know she got home safely, which she did.

After the date and after she text me she got home safely, she was responding to texts the same minute I sent them to know more than 3mins. Normally she texts anywhere from 5mins to 1.5 hours, depending on what she is doing.

As it was going well, I asked her when she was available for another date, which she would let me know at the end of the week as she has job interviews that week.

I then left didn't text her for a week. But in that time, I spoke with a mutual friend of ours and she asked me how things were going with this girl. I told her it seemed to be going well and that this girl had a great personality and is attractive and great body.

I then text the girl after a week and she took 40 hours, roughly, to text back. This was only after her friend said not to take it personally, but said girl was busy etc. The girl I took on a date now texts every couple of hours to texts again.

I think she had high interest in the beginning, but now has low interest.

Can anyone offer reasons why? Do I mirror her and take hours to respond?

My mate who is quite a ladies man suggests I am too cold with her. I didn't compliment her on the date, I never compliment on texts, and he says I am too unaffectionate, and that women will lose interest. When he won over his girlfriend, he showered her with compliments and was direct with her and took her back to his on the first date and slept with her. She complied.

So, I can I re-attract this woman? If so, how? And which methods do I follow. The ones where I don't validate women or the ones he does?

You seem young...this seems like a classic case of her not being interested after you met. There is no texting that will help you. She is either interested in seeing you again or she isn't. It appears she isn't. Move on and find more women, take them on dates and then focus on the ones that are interested after meeting you.

Women who are interested in you make it easy for you to spend time with them. Always remember that.

 

[manfrombelow]

I don't disagree, I was only conveying what SHE may be thinking.

Many women have been conditioned to expect men to text (i.e chase) even when SHE tells him she will get back to him with availability.

It's a shyt test.

He failed so now SHE intentionally waited 40 hours to respond.

The game is so fvcked sometimes.

OP assuming you like her, again stop playing games and text her, make a plan.

With so many games being played on both sides, hell it's difficult if not impossible to know who's interested and who isn't anymore.

OK, I'm glad we both agree that OP lost the waiting game when he gave up and started texting her after one week.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

So, I can I re-attract this woman? If so, how? And which methods do I follow. The ones where I don't validate women or the ones he does?

Re-attract? You haven't even attracted her in the first place. You need to have sex at least twice to even consider that. I am not one of those guys that will say never text a girl blah blah, but attraction is built mainly in person. Texting game just gets her to you in person.

 

[manfrombelow]

@manfrombelow I really like you but was it necessary to actually laugh at my post, mocking my opinion?

You're free to disagree but to laugh at it?

I'm not getting that.

I'm sorry that my laughing emoji made you unhappy or uncomfortable, I didn't mean that. You're free to laugh at me any time, because unlike you, I don't take being laughed at too seriously. And I always like you too.

 

[manfrombelow]

OK, fair enough, apology accepted.

And yeah I can be pretty sensitive about stuff like that sometimes, maybe overly so for SS.

You're just being a woman, and only a fool would be upset about a woman being a woman.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I'll tell you EXACTLY what happened.

You gave her the validation before she gave you any sex by becoming a bit too eager. When a girl asks you for YOUR number, she is really attracted to you. By giving her your number, you gave her plenty of validation..So she asks your number, you're validated in some way. You give her your number, she is validated. Going out on a date, accepting the date. etc. Validation for Validation = You both get something out of it. Now, you're on an even playing field..

But by being too eager possibly and or not closing on the first date, She might think you're too into her now.. and that validation for her alone is great because now she doesnt have to worry about doing anything else..

Whereas you should keep a girl invalidated or on the same playing field.. until she opens up and allows you to have sex with her.. then once again shes opening up and ur validating her once again by having sex with her.. Whereas, right now you bit off more than you can chew. It now seems like you're fishing for validation and shes not.. she doesnt need any more validation. She is convinced you're super into her.. She can go weeks without tallking to you now if she wanted to..

 

[Stanley]

Just ask her out.

Put assumptions about interest aside and risk your ego a little bit. You'll get an answer and at the point you'll know how to proceed and you then leave the ball in her court and your free to move on to other girls.

 

[CollegeMan22]

Just ask her out.

Put assumptions about interest aside and risk your ego a little bit. You'll get an answer and at the point you'll know how to proceed and you then leave the ball in her court and your free to move on to other girls.

Great answer. I see so many guys in my generation say that got a girl’s snapchat and now they’re “talking”. How fun!

You should get a girls number and ask her out 2 days later. No messing around. No annoying text games. Either a yes or a no. Life becomes much simpler that way.

 

[Divorced w 3]

It will probably yield the best results to move on to another girl, and practice not doing what you did here and don’t ask for the date again on the night of the first date. We’ve all been there, but everything they said above is true. Women are a hamster on a wheel and excitement and tension are what dangle in front of them to keep running.

 

[sceneparade]

I'll tell you EXACTLY what happened.

You gave her the validation before she gave you any sex by becoming a bit too eager. When a girl asks you for YOUR number, she is really attracted to you. By giving her your number, you gave her plenty of validation..So she asks your number, you're validated in some way. You give her your number, she is validated. Going out on a date, accepting the date. etc. Validation for Validation = You both get something out of it. Now, you're on an even playing field..

But by being too eager possibly and or not closing on the first date, She might think you're too into her now.. and that validation for her alone is great because now she doesnt have to worry about doing anything else..

Whereas you should keep a girl invalidated or on the same playing field.. until she opens up and allows you to have sex with her.. then once again shes opening up and ur validating her once again by having sex with her.. Whereas, right now you bit off more than you can chew. It now seems like you're fishing for validation and shes not.. she doesnt need any more validation. She is convinced you're super into her.. She can go weeks without tallking to you now if she wanted to..

How did I show eagerness or that I am into her?

I never complimented her on the date. Never put her on a pedestal. She was responding in seconds to minutes via texting, before and after the date. At the end of the date she told me she had a good time. She then text me to say she got home safely. I then left it at the for almost a week before texting, so not coming across clingy or needy etc.

Maybe I was too cold and not affectionate enough towards her?

What should I do now? Set up a definite date and if I get a wishy washy answer then move on.

 

[Divorced w 3]

How did I show eagerness or that I am into her?

I never complimented her on the date. Never put her on a pedestal. She was responding in seconds to minutes via texting, before and after the date. At the end of the date she told me she had a good time. She then text me to say she got home safely. I then left it at the for almost a week before texting, so not coming across clingy or needy etc.

Maybe I was too cold and not affectionate enough towards her?

What should I do now? Set up a definite date and if I get a wishy washy answer then move on.

Maybe try picking the phone up