Gaming bartenders

[Divorced w 3]

Throw in some personal experience if you’ve got it.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Get a job as a bartender, work with them and build enough rapport.

 

[SW15]

My best advice for gaming strippers, waitresses, bartenders, and any female that has a job that faces the general public is simple.

Don't meet these women at their workplaces. Find a way to meet these women when they are off duty. The typical college educated, white collar worker male doesn't have a day to day life that would allow for him to meet strippers, bartenders, waitresses, and retail workers while they are off duty and get together with them regularly.

If you want to meet strippers, bartenders, waitresses, and retail workers, you need to design your lifestyle in a manner similar to theirs. Men who don't work the typical 8:30 AM-5:30 PM office jobs Monday-Friday are better positioned to meet these types of women because their lifestyle is more of a match with theirs.

 

[Divorced w 3]

So this is a very nice place let’s get that scene set. I had left this one a phone number inside a folded $5 a few weeks ago. With her not calling and my being there the other day on new years I ignored her entirely and picked up a bunch of women in front of her. Last night after a very long day I went to the upstairs bar which is quiet and better, I’m the only one there and she was working so I sat down and ordered a drink, food and she was nervous to see me but I said hi and started talking to the other woman working. Then a guy comes in behind bar and asks how my day went and I said really long.

My girl is in the general area and anyway it’s just me and the three of them and in short order I have the other two asking me questions and talking and laughing a bit. Then my girl comes by and she’s nice and smiling (love her smile) and she’s twirling hair, . All the IOI’s one could ask for. . I start convo about something innocuous and it reminds her of our last meeting and she’s telling me back all the details I shared with the last time. She gets off her shift and stays like 30 extra minutes, even ask her what are you doing here. So I ask her if she’s writing a book on me. Shows me pics of her puppy etc. she then leaves for the night.

I figure fvck it have her friend text her for me, so I tell her ‘let her know d w 3 would like her number so I can call and get an advanced copy of the book she’s writing on me’. So my girl writes back and says I should come around more. I wait like, an hour and I have her write back ‘tell her 3 strikes and she’s out’ So my girl writes back immediately ‘he’s still there? Tell him it’s a full count” Let’s say after 2.5 hours and watching both Georgetown and duke games (like the beta male I am) I finally ask the friend to shoot a final text out for me, that ‘I don’t even know what she’s saying she should probably call me’ and that was it. Btw I had the friend show me the text to ‘refresh my memory’ and I saw her number on it so I have it anyway.

I don’t plan on going back maybe for a week and just let it linger. so anyway, that’s how that went. I’ll be the first to say this isn’t my best work.

open to ideas, and don’t hold back you know how I am

 

[Barrister]

My best advice for gaming strippers, waitresses, bartenders, and any female that has a job that faces the general public is simple.

Don't meet these women at their workplaces. Find a way to meet these women when they are off duty. The typical college educated, white collar worker male doesn't have a day to day life that would allow for him to meet strippers, bartenders, waitresses, and retail workers while they are off duty and get together with them regularly.

If you want to meet strippers, bartenders, waitresses, and retail workers, you need to design your lifestyle in a manner similar to theirs. Men who don't work the typical 8:30 AM-5:30 PM office jobs Monday-Friday are better positioned to meet these types of women because their lifestyle is more of a match with theirs.

Good advice -- I would dial it back a bit and say you CAN meet them at their workplace. However, do not attempt to game them at their workplace unless she shows you that she is open to it. You can meet them there, but get them out of that environment and into one where you can then game her. "My buddy is having a get together at his lake house next Saturday" etc. etc. If you broach the subject of meeting outside the environment and she agrees you are sitting very well for the future. It also is less in her face if she is afraid of flirting with customers since it is a simple invite to a hangout.

Bartenders are also great social proof when you bring other women in to these establishments - so keep that in mind. She may serve you better being strictly in that role and very friendly towards you.

 

[jaymbrs]

My approach is being very discreet. I just befriend them to the point where I get free drinks and get to know them on a personal level. It also helps that I used to bartend about 15 years ago so I use that to relate to their day to day. Majority of them do not want to date patrons but once that comfort level is reached, that line between patron and "friend" gets blurred. Before you know it, you're getting a text after a shift ends inviting you somewhere. It's a bit of a long game but as long as it's not your sole focus, it wont matter.

FYI, I've slept with bartenders from Hooters, Twin Peaks, Winghouse and a couple other misc bars. My friends know me as that guy.

 

[Bingo-Player]

My girl

She is not your girl she's a random waitress you have taken a fancy too

This is a lot of rigamarole to get a date either the interest on her part isn't strong enough or you ain't being direct enough

Using a girl to get to another girl is a weak move i don't see many women responding astonishingly well to it

 

[jaymbrs]

Well, may not have been your best but on the positive I think you did a good job of creating some tension.

I think what's bolded is a good idea. Time for the "push" part of push/pull. Lean back.

Intermittent reinforcement can be powerful! It can really turn things around sometimes.

You came on a bit strong with all the texts you had her friend send, so now it's time to lean back and stop the pursuit.

Don't step one foot in that place. You may need two weeks. Exercise self-discipline.

If there was any interest from her at all, she WILL be wondering where you are.

Wondering and uncertainty can build attraction. So let her wonder and be uncertain. Observe and see what her next move will be.

I know the Mode One followers will refute this and argue you should have been more direct..

But attraction, especially female attraction and nature is nuanced, not so black and white. Ya gotta kind of feel it out woman to woman.

And yes it IS a game, a dance so to speak. . But it can be fun and exciting!

This type of thing has always been right up my alley, I love wondering, uncertainty, the tension it creates.

In my experience most men were too damn thirsty, impatient and turned me right off with their sexually direct approach.

I know other women who feel the same.

Again, push/pull, intermittent reinforcement can be pretty powerful and don't think I'm unlike other women saying this.

There's zero interest. He shot his shot by leaving his number, she never called and even acted awkward when she saw him. Now he's having her friend text her and if she had ANY interest, she would've told the friend to give him her number.

 

[Divorced w 3]

There's zero interest. He shot his shot by leaving his number, she never called and even acted awkward when she saw him. Now he's having her friend text her and if she had ANY interest, she would've told the friend to give him her number.

Straight up, I broke frame big time. No getting around that. She initiated a lot of conversation including unsolicited walk halfway across the floor to show me her dog, twirling hair, smiling, waited around 30 minutes to the point of getting called out, knew all the shyt I told her two weeks ago and saw me openly gaming in front of her last week - I’m not sold it’s zero interest I think there is some devil somewhere in the details here.

Reclaiming frame in one sense means that I don’t stop going there altogether just because I did a more aggressive approach than normal. After staying out a few weeks I’ll go back to freezing her and game in front of her again and force it that if it’s meant to be, she has to come to me for any conversation.

I know how to brush it off and play it cool. I’m confident. End of the day, owning it is what matters when shooting your shot- so I told this girl I wanted to go out with her - do you just cower in a corner or do you pick up and say who gives a fvck I’m a man of abundance and it’s your loss?

I just feel dumb.

 

[2Rocky]

I wrote this before somewhere else but I will repeat it...

For anyone in the CS setting
1) make sure she is not busy with a lot of customers.
2) get her involved in a conversation where SHE is sharing personal details.
3) Let her know you are from out of town
4) Ask her about places to check out. Let HER be the expert.
5) "you should show me place XXY. How do we make that happen?"
6) If she is interested, She will make it easy for you.

In town for a trade show, I go to this bar early, like 5 or 6. I order a drink and the bartender mentions something about Burning Man. (big festival in the Nevada Desert on a dry lakebed). I had some friends who just went the year before, so I just showed a little interest, and let her tell me about it. I just fed her questions to keep her talking. Pretty soon it's the end of her shift, and she comes over, sits next to me and buys me a drink. We bull**** for a while and she is bitching about her boyfriend. Somewhere along the line she asks me if I'm a cop, and I tell her "No, I'm staying over at the Doubletree. In town for a trade show".

Not long after she asks me to "walk her to her car". I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

 

[Divorced w 3]

There's zero interest. He shot his shot by leaving his number, she never called and even acted awkward when she saw him. Now he's having her friend text her and if she had ANY interest, she would've told the friend to give him her number.

I appreciate the hard truth especially given your experience in this. The girl playing telephone for me I knew immediately I had made a major mistake. The fact she texted back frequently and quickly gave me a little bail out vibe on that. Nonetheless I still feel like I really crossed a line that I don’t love, I’ll just dust it off but I feel stupid. It’s also been a really long 24 hours and maybe instead of going in there to deflect from my shyt with my job and ex wife, I should have just turned the car the other direction and headed home. Being a couple bud lights in did not help either.

 

[Divorced w 3]

FWIW as a woman who relates to the type of game going on here.

What's bolded indicates interest. The last sentence suggests she's gaming you too.

Look, she's a young hot fertile chick, she has thirsty guys hitting on her left and right. It's gets old for a woman, I promise you. Like a great big YAWN.

You cannot play the really hot girls like the other not so really hot girls. It's a different game.

Most men know this including you but women are driven by their emotions. So trigger them.

How? Push/pull and intermittent reinforcement. Get her wondering! Create uncertainty.

You've done your part. And then some! Now it's time to get her thinking she's lost her chance.



When you return in a couple of weeks, I do not suggest gaming in front of her and trying to force it. It's too obvious. She's not stupid, she KNOWS the game. Another yawn.

Plus you can't force these things, literally impossible. You can give it a gentle nudge but never force.

I still think you may have a chance here but you need to relax with it and stop overthinking it.

Walk in, be cool. Treat her like any other woman or bartender you DON'T have oneitis for.

Play it out naturally and organically.

Thanks. I have no doubt she’s interested. Well, was anyway. Who knows after sleeping on that. But I need to totally reframe the approach. She is a smoke but I am and need to portray my superior SMV which took a major hit last night. Well said kitten. Thanks.

 

[member160292]

I don't have a good imagination, please expand on the rest.

Lil Pedrito,
I believe Rocky suggested they have a nice home cooked meal, maybe one of the following

Taco de Lengua
Savory Meat Pie
Stuffed Clam
Pig in a Blanket
Sloppy Joe
Pho Meatballs
Chickpeas Fallafel
Eggplant Rammin noods
Memphis Dry Rub Rump Roast
Duchess Stuffer
Mac n Cheese Poutine
Moons over my Hammy
Jerked Chicken Neck
Kumquat Pound Cake

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hey don't beat yourself up too much. It was a bit beta BUT to many women (and I am one of them) a hint of beta from time to time is NOT a bad thing. It's indicates you're human and a bit vulnerable which can be endearing!

In fact, this what a sense about you. Not to flatter you, but a boyish charm, who can be a bit clumsy at times when you really like a chick (like here) combined with a c0cky playful arrogance. Not all men can pull this off and be real about it.

Don't change who you are.

Thanks. while actions speak louder than words I was negging the life out of her last night. So let’s see.

Not as beat up now as I was. I just broke up with my business partner who turned out to be a real scumbag and it was just icing on the cake dealing with my situation with bartender girl. I’ll bounce back.

I am a bit of the boy next door you are right

 

[The Duke]

After trying to get with a few bartenders that I had a good vibe with(and failing), I realized it wasn't in my best interest.

Why? Because I always ended up taking other girls to these same venues and the bartender I hit on was always working.
Thats when I became friends with them. Becoming friends with them allowed me free drinks and free entry and I usually didn't have to wait long in the drink line. They always remembered what I drank. Girls I had with me were always impressed, and the fact that I was getting amazing service from hot bartenders scored me points with my dates.

The other thing that sucks, is bartenders work crappy hours if you are an 8-5 person.

The problem with guys hitting on bartenders is every other dihk in town is doing the same thing. Over the years, this same topic gets discussed over and over.

 

[BadWatermelon]

My approach is being very discreet. I just befriend them to the point where I get free drinks and get to know them on a personal level. It also helps that I used to bartend about 15 years ago so I use that to relate to their day to day. Majority of them do not want to date patrons but once that comfort level is reached, that line between patron and "friend" gets blurred. Before you know it, you're getting a text after a shift ends inviting you somewhere. It's a bit of a long game but as long as it's not your sole focus, it wont matter.

FYI, I've slept with bartenders from Hooters, Twin Peaks, Winghouse and a couple other misc bars. My friends know me as that guy.

Is there any way to tell which ones are flirting with you for real vs. ones who are just being friendly?

 

[The Duke]

Is there any way to tell which ones are flirting with you for real vs. ones who are just being friendly?

When she starts sending you nudes!

 

[RazorRambo24]

"Gaming bartenders". More like the Bartender is gaming YOU.

I've heard countless dudes talk about how they were bummed out because a bartender they were talking to flaked on them or ghosted them repeatedly or something of that nature.. Bartenders primarily care about one thing, money. They will flirt and go to great extent with men to get $$ from them as a client/customer. I've known a buncha bartenders as friends and they are one of the most sexually promiscuous group of people.. Something about selling the devils water ... Two of my bartender gal friends have around 5-6 guys they can sleep with at any given time but usually keep 1 as their main fwb.. and yet they will always still puruse Tinder to sleep with random hot guys..

AS far as the simps they meet at "work", they give 0 ****s about unless you're super hot.

A bartender really understands the true nature of men because she deals with hundreds of them a single workday. Theyare usually up at odd hours too in the middle of the night, involve themselves with sleezy dudeswho are also up at these hours and lookin to get laid..

My advice is to go for an older bartender.. late 30s early 40s. You'll have a better chance at piping.. Unless ofc, you like shared *****.. then join the pool of guys who smash that.. and remember to not go down on her..

 

[EyeBRollin]

Ask for her phone number.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks. I have no doubt she’s interested. Well, was anyway. Who knows after sleeping on that. But I need to totally reframe the approach. She is a smoke but I am and need to portray my superior SMV which took a major hit last night. Well said kitten. Thanks.

Or as a bartender she wants to string you along as much as possible to keep you coming back and tipping well. She knows that game too.