Dealing with a flake

[ibew_bro]

Hey board got a question for you. About a 1-1/2 years ago I was messing with a women for a few months when it came to an end..I didnt want it to becasue we were having a good time but, She became very flakey. We got into a argument over her flaking out on me one night and not showing up without a call or text. So it ended with her saying she just wants to be friends. I agreed because to be honest I wasnt in love with her and She wasnt relationship material so I really didnt care... Anyway, This girl has continued to message me via FB every few months asking how I am etc..I always end up messenging her back and it goes back and forth a few times. Ive asked her to meet a few times but she made excuses and the the last time I told her to call me, She never did...

I know most of you guys are probably going to say just ghost her or whatever...The truth is, She was awesome in bed and I want another ride! Otherwise I would just ghost her. So my question is, Whats the best strategy to build her attraction for me so that I can maybe get her to actually commit to meeting me again? I know she is just playing her little game to boost her ego with me.

So should I just stop responding all together in hopes that maybe that will spark her interest in me more?

Should I just respond with a few back and forths without suggesting a meet up? Then just say ok Take care of yourself?

Should I ask her to meet me again and when she refuses, ask her, Why she is reaching out then? Since I know here response will be " We are friends" My response will be "no we arent, We never were, We were lovers so there is really no sense in you contacting me anymore"

Any opinions would be appreciated

 

[Dr.Suave]

My vote is to stop respoding all together. Asking her out and texting back has not been working anyway.

 

[Stanley]

You don't

 

[Serenity]

Assume this is never going to happen and drop all initiative trying to make it happen. Do nothing, literally.

She might message you again some day, when she does you can chat casually if you want, be politely disinterested. Don't ask her to meet, don't ask her to call, don't ask her anything. On the off chance she takes the initiative to do anything you respond nonchalantly "sure" as if you don't take her seriously at all, like her words mean nothing just like all the previous times. If she backs up any of it with real actions then sure, go ahead if you want, but only if she's the one doing the pulling.

No point burning the bridge, also no point pursuing anything. Just forget about her until she takes action, until then it's just empty talk. Maybe that's never, you should expect that and assume it.

So to summarize, do nothing until she throws herself at you by taking all the initiative, expect by default it will never happen until proven otherwise.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The only way this will ever happen is if she is the one to initiate it. She always knows you want her based on continuing to ask her out all these times after.

 

[user252009]

Assume this is never going to happen and drop all initiative trying to make it happen. Do nothing, literally.

She might message you again some day, when she does you can chat casually if you want, be politely disinterested. Don't ask her to meet, don't ask her to call, don't ask her anything. On the off chance she takes the initiative to do anything you respond nonchalantly "sure" as if you don't take her seriously at all, like her words mean nothing just like all the previous times. If she backs up any of it with real actions then sure, go ahead if you want, but only if she's the one doing the pulling.

No point burning the bridge, also no point pursuing anything. Just forget about her until she takes action, until then it's just empty talk. Maybe that's never, you should expect that and assume it.

So to summarize, do nothing until she throws herself at you by taking all the initiative, expect by default it will never happen until proven otherwise.

This should be printed and sold in picture frames for men out there

 

[bat soup]

Ive asked her to meet a few times but she made excuses...

So should I just stop responding all together in hopes that maybe....

Stop hoping. Write her off as a timewaster and a lost cause.

 

[ibew_bro]

Assume this is never going to happen and drop all initiative trying to make it happen. Do nothing, literally.

She might message you again some day, when she does you can chat casually if you want, be politely disinterested. Don't ask her to meet, don't ask her to call, don't ask her anything. On the off chance she takes the initiative to do anything you respond nonchalantly "sure" as if you don't take her seriously at all, like her words mean nothing just like all the previous times. If she backs up any of it with real actions then sure, go ahead if you want, but only if she's the one doing the pulling.

No point burning the bridge, also no point pursuing anything. Just forget about her until she takes action, until then it's just empty talk. Maybe that's never, you should expect that and assume it.

So to summarize, do nothing until she throws herself at you by taking all the initiative, expect by default it will never happen until proven otherwise.

Sounds like a good plan thanks! I think the thing that bothers most men including myself is not knowing the best path forward with **** like this..It sucks to be unsure how to play the game properly..Do I do this? Do I do that? If I do this this might happen but if I do that, that might happen..yadda yadda..I guess your view is simple to simply give her nothing..Makes sense! Thanx!

 

[The Duke]

She is using you for free validation and attention. The currency being traded between men and women is sex and attention. You just keep spending those attention dollars and she is swallowing it right up, but you arent getting anything in return. Except hope.....and hope doesn't help a man to bust a nut, but sehx sure does.

That hope she is providing you is like counterfeit sehx, and you are so into her you can't tell the difference

 

[SW15]

@ibew_bro -- You are 53 years old.

I assume the woman you are describing is 40+. She's acting like someone 16-25. The only difference is that because she's older, she's using Facebook instead of Instagram.

I would think older people would have better social skills and not overly use text-based communications like social media DMs and cell phone text messages. I would expect the behavior this woman is pulling from a Millennial or Gen Z'er but not a Gen X'er who grew up with landline telephones. So annoying!

Anyway, there's no relationship here. You're not friends and you don't want a female friend. The best thing to do here is to completely ignore her. She's not getting together with you in-person and she can't even place a telephone call. That's pathetic.

Don't even bother to respond to her. Remember the good sex in the past and move on with your life. Life is too short to deal with this nonsense.

 

[ibew_bro]

@ibew_bro -- You are 53 years old.

I assume the woman you are describing is 40+. She's acting like someone 16-25. The only difference is that because she's older, she's using Facebook instead of Instagram.

I would think older people would have better social skills and not overly use text-based communications like social media DMs and cell phone text messages. I would expect the behavior this woman is pulling from a Millennial or Gen Z'er but not a Gen X'er who grew up with landline telephones. So annoying!

Anyway, there's no relationship here. You're not friends and you don't want a female friend. The best thing to do here is to completely ignore her. She's not getting together with you in-person and she can't even place a telephone call. That's pathetic.

Don't even bother to respond to her. Remember the good sex in the past and move on with your life. Life is too short to deal with this nonsense.

Although I agree I do have to say, Just because someone is older does not make them more mature..Im 53 and I have been divorced from my ex going on 11 years now...The games and BS I seen in the past 11 years is pathetic..People get older but they dont always mature..A lot of people have been threw the mill in past relationships which really messes with their heads making many of them act more insecure and immature then 17 year olds! When we were teens and had our first loves, We said and did what we wanted without fear because we never experienced heartache.. After being hurt a few times people build walls and tend to play more games then they did when they were a kid...

 

[manfrombelow]

You simply don't deal with a flake. When a woman flakes, it means she's not interested. And the only way to "deal" with an uninterested woman is to stop pursuing her and move on to the next one.

 

[manfrombelow]

Although I agree I do have to say, Just because someone is older does not make them more mature..

Exactly, brother (you're 20 years my senior btw). This is especially true when it comes to women. One of my past lovers in the past always acted like 18 year old girl while she's 10 years older than me.

 

[ibew_bro]

You simply don't deal with a flake. When a woman flakes, it means she's not interested. And the only way to "deal" with an uninterested woman is to stop pursuing her and move on to the next one.

I understand that perfectly, I guess I got caught up in winning the game..It became like a challenge.. I'd have no problem never speaking to her again but I would like another chance to roll around under the sheets with her again, Now if I never heard from her again since the time it ended, I'd say game over and never bother again. But since she still contacts me from time to time Im thinking there is a way to turn the tables....So I guess Im just looking for the best strategy to do that... Do I completely stop talking to her even if she initiates or do I talk to her seeming disinterested or?

 

[SW15]

People get older but they dont always mature..A lot of people have been threw the mill in past relationships which really messes with their heads making many of them act more insecure and immature then 17 year olds! When we were teens and had our first loves, We said and did what we wanted without fear because we never experienced heartache.. After being hurt a few times people build walls and tend to play more games then they did when they were a kid...

I find the games people play after 25-30 to be quite annoying. If someone's doing some serious high school/college age type stuff later in life, that's bad. It's to be expected in one's teens and early 20s. At later ages, one would think women would outgrow that sort of stuff.

 

[dude99]

Hey board got a question for you. About a 1-1/2 years ago I was messing with a women for a few months when it came to an end..I didnt want it to becasue we were having a good time but, She became very flakey. We got into a argument over her flaking out on me one night and not showing up without a call or text. So it ended with her saying she just wants to be friends. I agreed because to be honest I wasnt in love with her and She wasnt relationship material so I really didnt care... Anyway, This girl has continued to message me via FB every few months asking how I am etc..I always end up messenging her back and it goes back and forth a few times. Ive asked her to meet a few times but she made excuses and the the last time I told her to call me, She never did...

I know most of you guys are probably going to say just ghost her or whatever...The truth is, She was awesome in bed and I want another ride! Otherwise I would just ghost her. So my question is, Whats the best strategy to build her attraction for me so that I can maybe get her to actually commit to meeting me again? I know she is just playing her little game to boost her ego with me.

So should I just stop responding all together in hopes that maybe that will spark her interest in me more?

Should I just respond with a few back and forths without suggesting a meet up? Then just say ok Take care of yourself?

Should I ask her to meet me again and when she refuses, ask her, Why she is reaching out then? Since I know here response will be " We are friends" My response will be "no we arent, We never were, We were lovers so there is really no sense in you contacting me anymore"

Any opinions would be appreciated

She reaches out evey so many months to see if you are still her orbiter. When you reply she gets validation from this and she doesn't need to meet up with you.

Best way to attract her now would be to move on with your life and date other women. Be too busy for her because she will continue to waste your time every time she reaches out.

Next time she messages or reaches out flat out ignore her. Go date other women. Move on and show her you moved on.

 

[ibew_bro]

She reaches out evey so many months to see if you are still her orbiter. When you reply she gets validation from this and she doesn't need to meet up with you.

In that is the answer to the question I have always wondered...I have research a lot about this stuff when my ex wife and I broke up years ago..In looking for answers I found sites like this site and guys like Corey Wayne who I think is very good. His outlook on it is to always keep the line open but dont ask her out again if she refused twice. But I always did wonder if just responding at all gave her the validation she needed...I think Im going to go the route of not responding at all.. If it makes my value go up,She will try harder to get in touch with me.. She has my cell number so if she really want to get in touch she can use that but, Im not going to make it easy for her anymore.

 

[manfrombelow]

I understand that perfectly, I guess I got caught up in winning the game..It became like a challenge.. I'd have no problem never speaking to her again but I would like another chance to roll around under the sheets with her again, Now if I never heard from her again since the time it ended, I'd say game over and never bother again. But since she still contacts me from time to time Im thinking there is a way to turn the tables....So I guess Im just looking for the best strategy to do that... Do I completely stop talking to her even if she initiates or do I talk to her seeming disinterested or?

Let's start all over again, the next time she contacts you, regardless of the content, just ask her out with something like:

"Hey I gotta go now, let's meet up this Friday at X time and Y place"

If she agrees, good. If she doesn't, say something like "Well, let me know when you've changed your mind"

And if she contacts you again after that, repeat the formula, but this time, if she still BS around, just block her number for good.

Anyway, it's TOTALLY OKAY for a man to want to bang that delicious pvssy at least one more time, so don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[KingTurbo]

Hey board got a question for you. About a 1-1/2 years ago I was messing with a women for a few months when it came to an end..I didnt want it to becasue we were having a good time but, She became very flakey. We got into a argument over her flaking out on me one night and not showing up without a call or text. So it ended with her saying she just wants to be friends. I agreed because to be honest I wasnt in love with her and She wasnt relationship material so I really didnt care... Anyway, This girl has continued to message me via FB every few months asking how I am etc..I always end up messenging her back and it goes back and forth a few times. Ive asked her to meet a few times but she made excuses and the the last time I told her to call me, She never did...

I know most of you guys are probably going to say just ghost her or whatever...The truth is, She was awesome in bed and I want another ride! Otherwise I would just ghost her. So my question is, Whats the best strategy to build her attraction for me so that I can maybe get her to actually commit to meeting me again? I know she is just playing her little game to boost her ego with me.

So should I just stop responding all together in hopes that maybe that will spark her interest in me more?

Should I just respond with a few back and forths without suggesting a meet up? Then just say ok Take care of yourself?

Should I ask her to meet me again and when she refuses, ask her, Why she is reaching out then? Since I know here response will be " We are friends" My response will be "no we arent, We never were, We were lovers so there is really no sense in you contacting me anymore"

Any opinions would be appreciated

I hate to break it to you but there is nothing you can do. If a woman (or any person in general) likes you. they WILL make time for you. She will set her plans aside to be with you and explain themselves.

It was just your turn. She didn't see you as a guy she could be with long-term. "let's be friends" is equal to "Not datable, I can't tell you any other way". If a woman sees you as long term she will show you off to her friends, family, you will be talked about and will be included in her world.


Just say to her "Text me when your not busy" and ignore her.
If a woman ignores me that's what I text. I don't ask "hey" or text her two weeks later. I let her come to me. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. If I see them in person I just ignore all that happened, I don't even bring it up. It's her loss.

 

[Redwolf]

The only way this will ever happen is if she is the one to initiate it. She always knows you want her based on continuing to ask her out all these times after.

Yup if you made it clear you're interested and she didn't make any effort back you need to remove yourself from her. Walk away and give her no more attention. If she comes around after that make a date offer but she has to reach out and make some effort. Don't waste time with low interest women. It's a waste of time.