Stress/anxiety

[Fruitbat]

Hey folks,

this forum is a friendlier place these days so happy to share this and hopefully someone can help.

I’ve always suffered with anxiety and stress. I’ve mainly medicated with alcohol and weed.

I’ve given these up mainly although not fully. I have also got a much bigger, higher profile job.

I occasionally experience a wall of stress, all the things I have to do mount up and it feels like the world is closing in. Kind of a minor panic attack. Also, I get afraid of committing errors so I’ve started avoiding tasks to avoid the stress - tasks I have to do.

I’ve taken on a lot and this is starting to get to me.

I had CBT with a psych and it was a total waste of money. I don’t want meds either.

How do you manage stress without drugs?

If any of you suffer, and statistically some of you do, ideas on how to beat it please!

 

[Stanley]

My psychologist is ex military and by all accounts red pill so I lucked out with that.

Other than that, routinely working out, throwing myself into my hobbies, mindfulness and meditation and staying on my purpose at large, removing idle time and limiting vices like drugs/alcohol. Make yourself your mental point of origin and prioritize your needs first and foremost. I got deep into zen buddhism and Daoism and spent a lot of time reading that material, helped me with grounding when in an stress elevated state. Earlier this year I lost a lot of loved ones/friends and my sister's brain tumor took a turn for the worst, my physical health was extremely poor and for the first time in my life I started experiencing DPDR on a constant basis and nothing helped except avoiding triggers. I was a ****ing mess and had panic attacks several times a day at random. Meds helped a little bit, but employing talk therapy and healthy coping mechanisms were paramount to overcoming it. (Also getting my blood work done and seeing where I was at with hormones and diet).

A philosopher that helped me get out of this stress driven stupor was Albert Camus, i'd recommend reading his book the Myth Of Sisyphus as an intro to absurdism if you're not familiar. Heavy ****, but eye opening and hopefully you walk away with a "**** it" attitude about living life and enjoying it. I also enjoy stoicism and you can download an app for free called The Stoic. It will periodically send you quotes from Seneca, Epictetus etc.. Ryan Holiday has some nice easy to read books on stoicism, the majority of it deals with challenges, stress/anxiety and so forth. You mention CBT and how it wasn't for you, if you wanted to tackle it again on your own any book by David Burns is well worth a shot, When Panic Attacks is a good one to check out. Burns is really the pioneer of CBT and his books are often recommended by therapists, you go do them on your own, they are designed that way. Another thing I did was force myself out as much as possible and directly attack my anxiety, (immersion therapy) I still do this now and make an effort every single day to do one thing that broke my comfort zone, one thing that made me better than yesterday, and spending time practicing gratitude, I don't care if that's cheesy it works.

Also, journaling whenever I feel like it. Looking back at your past emotional states and thoughts is extremely beneficial in remaining objective and better understanding yourself. Don't know if that helps, but that's what I've been doing. A year later i'm a far FAR cry from who I was at my lowest.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I do CBT and exercise. Also, I play video games a few hours a week.

I’m married like you OP. So I also tell my wife to give me sufficient quiet time.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I have some pills for that, they are natural. Let me know if you want me to post the ingredients.

 

[Fruitbat]

I have some pills for that, they are natural. Let me know if you want me to post the ingredients.

I’d never give out my add online,what are the ingredients?

 

[Dr.Suave]

I’d never give out my add online,what are the ingredients?

There seems to be a bunch of ingredients but looks like the most important are:

- L Teanina
- Citrus Cinnensis
- Flor de Azahar
- Manzanilla
- Matricaria Recuttita
- Hierba Buena
- Mentha Spicata

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Do you have a purpose and are actively in pursuit of it? If not, there is your answer.

The human mind is being bombarded with modern distractions and visual toxins. If your attention, energy, and time are not directed at a specific purpose or goal, anxiety, stress, and fear will kick in and take control of your life.

Have a purpose, pursuit, help others (volunteer), and practice mindfulness.

 

[Dr.Suave]

@Modern Man Advice is one of my favorite posters. I love you @Modern Man Advice

On a similar train of thought, I dont think I have been as welcoming as I can to our female members. I apologize for that. I love you @BeExcellent and @catsmeow2

 

[Modern Man Advice]

@Modern Man Advice is one of my favorite posters. I love you @Modern Man Advice

Haha thanks, man. Love ya, too.

 

[Fruitbat]

Do you have a purpose and are actively in pursuit of it? If not, there is your answer.

The human mind is being bombarded with modern distractions and visual toxins. If your attention, energy, and time are not directed at a specific purpose or goal, anxiety, stress, and fear will kick in and take control of your life.

Have a purpose, pursuit, help others (volunteer), and practice mindfulness.

I do, the issue is I have a lot of business critical stuff I didn’t do in my previous role. Big events and speaking to lots of people. Plus there is always too much to do than practical. Or perhaps I’m just trying to do too many things at once.

i think part of your advice is to have a simple and clear objective. In terms of purpose, that’s something I have, it’s the delivery of the things I need to do to achieve that which is the issue. It feels high pressure. But it’s much better paid and I love the company and people.

i think on self reflection, I need to strip away the noise and concentrate on a few simple objectives, like: 1. Manage projects and 2. Do 8 meeting a week 3. 2 hours a day on email and admin.

it’s a really complex set of responsibilities. I think I should add I am only 8 months in to this job so it’s all fairly new.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

I believe there is a strong subconscious component of stress and anxiety that exists there from our childhood traumas wheter it's parental neglecting or unstable families.

Lifting weights HARD not just to check a box works really good for me but still I have to focus really hard to control rage outburst.
In my case I find myself to get stressed much easier when I have to deal with people the moments I dont want to.

 

[Stanley]

If you're getting close to burnout, you need to back off of the work. There is no other cure for burnout than long vacations or time off work.

Ksm-66 Ashwaghanda got me through a SEVERELY stressful three year work period. I recommend it. By year 5 it wasn't enough and I had to resort to other things. Eventually I totally burned out because the stress was just too much under COVID conditions for two years. But high quality ashwaghanda can work wonders under normal stress.

Ash didn't sit well with me. When I got off sertraline I was in the process of supplementing. I had some deficiencies, but also wanted to focus on mood and libidio/test. I started Tongkat Ali and within a few days saw a massive boost in my mood and energy. I did St john wort for a minute, but I've heard it can cause other supplements and meds to be ineffective.

My stack has been this
-Magnesium-Zinc-calcium
-Iron
-Vitamin B12-b6, D
-Tongkat
-Creatine

And i'm now adding Cistanche, Boron and Horny goat weed when 'needed'

Pair that with consistent lifting and putting on mass on my skinny frame and my anxiety ran for the hills. Mood and energy are way better. Test has been on a constant uptick as well.

 

[Realthangpoon]

I feel ya Fruitbat. My anxiety is more existential/social than work related though. After some thought I think it mostly stems from the relationship with my dad. He used to get super pissed all the time for small things which kinda broke my self esteem.

Anyways, some things that have helped me:
- Meditation
- Writing
- Making music
- Working out/sports. I just picked up muay thai and focus on that now.
- Allowing yourself to feel the stuff you’re feeling without judgment (aka meditation)
- Helping others (takes the focus away from yourself)
- Going out more and surrounding yourself with good people. This helps put your own problems in perspective.
- And maybe the most important thing. Like Modern Man Advice said, is to have a clear vision of where you’re going or what you want to achieve. This gives so much peace of mind and your worries melt like snow to the sun.