Hello everyone,
New member here.
I'm in a predicament and would like to hear everyones advice and take on the story that you'll be reading. Piece of advice, buckle up, this story is the summary of nearly 3 years.
Before we commence, some context is needed.
I'm a college student. I will be mentioning two girls later on, Girl 1 " that we'll call G1 " and Girl 2 " that we'll call G2 ". Both are a year younger than me, and both are college students as well. I get to see and meet with G1 technically every day or so in college or outside of college , while G2 not so much after what happened between us.
The beginning of this story dates back to probably 2 to 3 years from now, 3 months prior the end of the school year. It was the first time that I met G1, due to the fact that we have friends in common, at that time, I was single, not interested in anyone.
After some meet ups with the friend group, and no talking what so ever with G1, I noticed that she started greeting me every time we cross paths in college, and whenever we lock eyes, she always breaks contact and looks at the ground with a little smile and blushing. Some of you at this point might start to get the feeling that she was interested in me, I did too, though I didn't really see much in her, she's a 7 at best. At this point, G1 doesn't mean much to me, hadn't it be the fact that I see her in college every now and then, I would've forgotten her.
The school year ended, G1 and I at this point have never spoken to each other, don't even consider her as an acquaintance. A new semester began, and she approched me using a social media platform. She started texting me, and she was very interested in me from the way she texted and responded, It was pretty obvious. It kept going this way for a couple of days and weeks, till we started meeting and talked in person, keep in mind that at this point I'm still not interested, and whenever we meet, it's mostly small talk, a little bit of teasing and I leave to continue with my day.
After some time, enter G2. G2 on the other hand was a decent looking girl, 8 to a solid 9. What I didn't know was that G2 and G1 where friends. Before approaching G2, G1 mentionned that they where friends, and confessed to me that she liked me for a long period of time and she still did at that time. Anyway, I ended up approaching G2, we clicked, started texting, then hanging for a periode of 2 months. My first mistake that I'm aware of was that during this 2 month periode with G2, I was basically telling G1 everything that was happening between me and G2 whenever she asked me. In other words, she basically was part of our relationship.
My seconde mistake that I'm aware of is that, after the 2 months periode with G2, a minor problem aroused that I was incompetent in dealing with, which lead to us breaking up after another month. The third mistake which I consider to be the most fatal is that, between the problem part, and the breaking up part, I was behaving in a feminine way with both G1 and G2. G1 in the fact that I was asking advice from her, and telling her how badly I felt back then, and she could see how vulnerable and weak I was. G2 in the fact that she asked for space and I didn't back off, instead I kept pushing which showed how desperate I was.
Post break up: After breaking up for good with G2, I kept talking with G1, but now minus the teasing and masculine behaviour. I adopted the befriending her mentality, which later on brought my demise. We kept talking for a solid 8 to 9 months " if not longer ", and I started Infatuating about her. NOW, I could clearly see that during my break up with G2, and due to the fatal mistake that I made of venting to G1, G1 started loosing all respect and attraction she had for me as a man, unfortunatly, I couldn't see this back then since my thinking and judgement was clouded.
2 to 3 months before now, I basically acted in all stupid ways with her. I could see it in myself, I completely switched from who I was to a walking dork with a sole mission to please her. I easily backed off in arguments, I held no opinons, nearly always agreeing with her and it was killing me on the inside. I even got to the point where I confessed my "feelings" for her, and told her that I was willing to get in a relationship with her in which she declined and told me that she only sees me as a friend.
Fast forward to now, I decided to change. While still havn't reached the end of the change path, I can already see minor changes in me and the way G1 view and treats me.
I started holding my own opinions, not backing off of them, in arguments, I don't look in pleasing her or agreeing with, instead I'm more focused on myself and getting my argument heard. Although, from time to time, I still get the feeling that I like this girl and get jealous if I see her with another guy in college or outside of college.
The last interaction that I had with her was this week, we were texting, suddenly she stoped replying for a couple of hours, and when she came back, she told me to speak with her cause she was feeling sad, to which I said no " I'm no one's personal emotional support " and I added that when she's no longer sad, she's welcomed to text me. She didn't like it and tried to force it on to me to change it " by change it I mean change the way I think, and go along with her and talk her out of sadness ". When she finally understood that I will not comply with her, she started replying late and in a nonchalant way and told me she was busy, to which I told her that now, when she no longer feels sad or is not busy, to not text me.
For those of you who have made it to the end of this post, thank you, and do leave me a comment on what you think of my situation, what are the mistakes that you think I've made or still making, and how would you react if you were in my positions.
Elevate.
New member here.
I'm in a predicament and would like to hear everyones advice and take on the story that you'll be reading. Piece of advice, buckle up, this story is the summary of nearly 3 years.
Before we commence, some context is needed.
I'm a college student. I will be mentioning two girls later on, Girl 1 " that we'll call G1 " and Girl 2 " that we'll call G2 ". Both are a year younger than me, and both are college students as well. I get to see and meet with G1 technically every day or so in college or outside of college , while G2 not so much after what happened between us.
The beginning of this story dates back to probably 2 to 3 years from now, 3 months prior the end of the school year. It was the first time that I met G1, due to the fact that we have friends in common, at that time, I was single, not interested in anyone.
After some meet ups with the friend group, and no talking what so ever with G1, I noticed that she started greeting me every time we cross paths in college, and whenever we lock eyes, she always breaks contact and looks at the ground with a little smile and blushing. Some of you at this point might start to get the feeling that she was interested in me, I did too, though I didn't really see much in her, she's a 7 at best. At this point, G1 doesn't mean much to me, hadn't it be the fact that I see her in college every now and then, I would've forgotten her.
The school year ended, G1 and I at this point have never spoken to each other, don't even consider her as an acquaintance. A new semester began, and she approched me using a social media platform. She started texting me, and she was very interested in me from the way she texted and responded, It was pretty obvious. It kept going this way for a couple of days and weeks, till we started meeting and talked in person, keep in mind that at this point I'm still not interested, and whenever we meet, it's mostly small talk, a little bit of teasing and I leave to continue with my day.
After some time, enter G2. G2 on the other hand was a decent looking girl, 8 to a solid 9. What I didn't know was that G2 and G1 where friends. Before approaching G2, G1 mentionned that they where friends, and confessed to me that she liked me for a long period of time and she still did at that time. Anyway, I ended up approaching G2, we clicked, started texting, then hanging for a periode of 2 months. My first mistake that I'm aware of was that during this 2 month periode with G2, I was basically telling G1 everything that was happening between me and G2 whenever she asked me. In other words, she basically was part of our relationship.
My seconde mistake that I'm aware of is that, after the 2 months periode with G2, a minor problem aroused that I was incompetent in dealing with, which lead to us breaking up after another month. The third mistake which I consider to be the most fatal is that, between the problem part, and the breaking up part, I was behaving in a feminine way with both G1 and G2. G1 in the fact that I was asking advice from her, and telling her how badly I felt back then, and she could see how vulnerable and weak I was. G2 in the fact that she asked for space and I didn't back off, instead I kept pushing which showed how desperate I was.
Post break up: After breaking up for good with G2, I kept talking with G1, but now minus the teasing and masculine behaviour. I adopted the befriending her mentality, which later on brought my demise. We kept talking for a solid 8 to 9 months " if not longer ", and I started Infatuating about her. NOW, I could clearly see that during my break up with G2, and due to the fatal mistake that I made of venting to G1, G1 started loosing all respect and attraction she had for me as a man, unfortunatly, I couldn't see this back then since my thinking and judgement was clouded.
2 to 3 months before now, I basically acted in all stupid ways with her. I could see it in myself, I completely switched from who I was to a walking dork with a sole mission to please her. I easily backed off in arguments, I held no opinons, nearly always agreeing with her and it was killing me on the inside. I even got to the point where I confessed my "feelings" for her, and told her that I was willing to get in a relationship with her in which she declined and told me that she only sees me as a friend.
Fast forward to now, I decided to change. While still havn't reached the end of the change path, I can already see minor changes in me and the way G1 view and treats me.
I started holding my own opinions, not backing off of them, in arguments, I don't look in pleasing her or agreeing with, instead I'm more focused on myself and getting my argument heard. Although, from time to time, I still get the feeling that I like this girl and get jealous if I see her with another guy in college or outside of college.
The last interaction that I had with her was this week, we were texting, suddenly she stoped replying for a couple of hours, and when she came back, she told me to speak with her cause she was feeling sad, to which I said no " I'm no one's personal emotional support " and I added that when she's no longer sad, she's welcomed to text me. She didn't like it and tried to force it on to me to change it " by change it I mean change the way I think, and go along with her and talk her out of sadness ". When she finally understood that I will not comply with her, she started replying late and in a nonchalant way and told me she was busy, to which I told her that now, when she no longer feels sad or is not busy, to not text me.
For those of you who have made it to the end of this post, thank you, and do leave me a comment on what you think of my situation, what are the mistakes that you think I've made or still making, and how would you react if you were in my positions.
Elevate.
