Did You Ever Dictate The Terms/Rules Of The Relationship?

[soulforge]

Have you ever been in a situation where a girl is Pushing for a relationship after you been simply casual together?

If she is pushing for the relationship, then I guess you have the leverage & can dictate the terms/rules of the said relationship.

Any of you guys been in a situation where you had to tell the girl what the terms are?

I mean if she is going on Social media alot, have you let her know that shyte needs to stop.

Maybe she has male friends & those back up plans of hers also need to go.

I think in this day and age, the vast majority of chicks come with BAD HABITS...

IF she wants the LTR is it not best to put some conditions on that LTR and train that bich to be a better Girlfriend.

If you want a girl who is perfect in every way and has no bad habits, then best build a time machine and go back to 1952

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

The frame that you enter the relationship with is the frame that is gonna set the tone of the relationship.

Perhaps what I regret the most in my past relationships is that I did not lay out all my expectations and boundaries when the chicks had the talk or else early on in the relationship. I was probably too afraid to loose them.

So, don't be afraid and tell her all your expectations and boundaries. Perhaps also good to let her know what happens when she crosses them.

Also, in my experience, when you don't reinforce those boundaries in the beginning and then bring them up later, women think you're manipulating or else taking their rights away. So the time is now and not later brother.

 

[soulforge]

The frame that you enter the relationship with is the frame that is gonna set the tone of the relationship.

Perhaps what I regret the most in my past relationships is that I did not lay out all my expectations and boundaries when the chicks had the talk or else early on in the relationship. I was probably too afraid to loose them.

So, don't be afraid and tell her all your expectations and boundaries. Perhaps also good to let her know what happens when she crosses them.

Also, in my experience, when you don't reinforce those boundaries in the beginning and then bring them up later, women think you're manipulating or else taking their rights away. So the time is now and not later brother.

Absolutely. I believe they will except and agree with your expectations, or they will walk away. Better they walk away early on, to than 12 months down the line, when you begin setting boundaries

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

If you feel like you have to write a book of boundaries/expectations, then I wouldn't even bother dating her. For example, my current GF wasn't going on hot girl summer weekend trips, didn't have any questionable male friends, or any questionable bad habits in general. If a girl wants to truly start dating, then she is going put some investment in to dating. Talking to you while she has 5 backup male friends, 4 Hot Girl Summer trips planned, and going to the club every weekend is not investing. This girl doesn't want to to truly date you, she just wants to waste your time. Telling her that you don't want her going out to clubs every weekend ain't going to do shvt.

 

[soulforge]

If you feel like you have to write a book of boundaries/expectations, then I wouldn't even bother dating her. For example, my current GF wasn't going on hot girl summer weekend trips, didn't have any questionable male friends, or any questionable bad habits in general. If a girl wants to truly start dating, then she is going put some investment in to dating. Talking to you while she has 5 backup male friends, 4 Hot Girl Summer trips planned, and going to the club every weekend is not investing. This girl doesn't want to to truly date you, she just wants to waste your time. Telling her that you don't want her going out to clubs every weekend ain't going to do shvt.

This is a fair point... However to some level it's jumping to extremes.

Obviously if a chick is always out partying, holidays abroad, attention horing, then yes she isn't LTR material in the first place.

How there are some girls who might not be raging 304s, but happen to have some habits from her single life.

Remember modern woman do not see any harm in posting on social media or having a couple of male friends. This is just common practice for them.

The perfect girl doesn't exist.. We at some level do need to lay down some boundaries..

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

If you feel like you have to write a book of boundaries/expectations, then I wouldn't even bother dating her.

a girl wants to truly start dating, then she is going put some investment in to dating. Talking to you while she has 5 backup male friends, 4 Hot Girl Summer trips planned,

This gave me flashbacks to my last LTR. lol

Which btw ended after a year, when I enforced my boundaries.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

This is a fair point... However to some level it's jumping to extremes.

Obviously if a chick is always out partying, holidays abroad, attention horing, then yes she isn't LTR material in the first place.

How there are some girls who might not be raging 304s, but happen to have some habits from her single life.

Remember modern woman do not see any harm in posting on social media or having a couple of male friends. This is just common practice for them.

The perfect girl doesn't exist.. We at some level do need to lay down some boundaries..

Yeah, but if you go too far with this then you will come out definitely insecure. Is it reasonable to tell your girl that you don't want her posting thirst pics on Social Media? Yes, but is it reasonable to tell her I don't want her on Social Media at all because I'm scared Drake is going to DM her one day...Umm no. Again, if you have to bring it up then it is not worth dating her at all. In addition, lets just say she does have a couple of male friends, thirst pics, and single girl habits. If she's reasonable and sees you as high value then she's going to naturally ditch these habits for you. If she doesn't then she's either a 304 or sees you as a beta male simp provider sucker. At this point you are playing Captain Save a Hoe. There's plenty of women on this earth, quit trying to go after the broken ones.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Just had a talk the other day with one of my plates. Told her she needed to be able to rock a bikini, stand up to her mom, and find her way around the kitchen. She dropped off. LOL

My ex had a bad habit of binge eating when she was stressed out. She was skinnier when I met her, but started putting on pounds as we dated. I noticed what was going on and had a talk with her about it. She was good for a solid 1-2 months before the habits came back. At that point, I knew I couldn't fix shvt and started looking for another ship.

 

[soulforge]

This gave me flashbacks to my last LTR. lol

Which btw ended after a year, when I enforced my boundaries.

It ended because you enforced boundaries late in the relationship.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

It ended because you enforced boundaries late in the relationship.

Let's say he did and she started easing back in to her bad habits later down the road lol?

 

[soulforge]

Yeah, but if you go too far with this then you will come out definitely insecure. Is it reasonable to tell your girl that you don't want her posting thirst pics on Social Media? Yes, but is it reasonable to tell her I don't want her on Social Media at all because I'm scared Drake is going to DM her one day...Umm no. Again, if you have to bring it up then it is not worth dating her at all. In addition, lets just say she does have a couple of male friends, thirst pics, and single girl habits. If she's reasonable and sees you as high value then she's going to naturally ditch these habits for you. If she doesn't then she's either a 304 or sees you as a beta male simp provider sucker. At this point you are playing Captain Save a Hoe. There's plenty of women on this earth, quit trying to go after the broken ones.

You assume they will naturally drop these habits for you because they see you as high value... I disagree with that... You could be the absolute fukin chad of the century, social media is so deeply engrained in the modern woman, it's the absolute NORM to them to be posting thirst traps, even when they are with a high value man that they really like.

No I don't agree with telling a girl to drop all social media, that's simply not going to happen. However in my eyes it's acceptable to give her a heads up on what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable... They need this heads up, simply because most chicks are oblivious of what they are doing.

Should you force the girl you are seeing to drop all her male friends? Nope... However early on when she is pushing for a relationship, there is no harm in letting her know (indirectly in some cases) that you don't LTR girls who spend alot of time around dudes.

Again most modern woman absolutely see no harm in having male friends, they are oblivious to the fact this can cause a problem in a LTR.

I agree with you, forcing her to drop this/or that might comes across as insecure... However simply letting her know in conversation (indirectly) what your expectations are in a LTR, might be enough for her get the message.


Or.. she will simply ignore you, and do whatever she wants, in which case you can drop her early rather than later.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The frame that you enter the relationship with is the frame that is gonna set the tone of the relationship.

Perhaps what I regret the most in my past relationships is that I did not lay out all my expectations and boundaries when the chicks had the talk or else early on in the relationship. I was probably too afraid to loose them.

So, don't be afraid and tell her all your expectations and boundaries. Perhaps also good to let her know what happens when she crosses them.

Also, in my experience, when you don't reinforce those boundaries in the beginning and then bring them up later, women think you're manipulating or else taking their rights away. So the time is now and not later brother.

The problem is too many guys set boundaries and then when the woman breaks them, there are no consequences for her. Which makes the guy look exceptionally weak and causes her respect level to plummet.

Better to not explicitly set any than set them and then not handle her breaking them properly...and you know she will do this intentionally to test you on it.

 

[The Duke]

Have you ever been in a situation where a girl is Pushing for a relationship after you been simply casual together?

If she is pushing for the relationship, then I guess you have the leverage & can dictate the terms/rules of the said relationship.

Any of you guys been in a situation where you had to tell the girl what the terms are?

I mean if she is going on Social media alot, have you let her know that shyte needs to stop.

Maybe she has male friends & those back up plans of hers also need to go.

I think in this day and age, the vast majority of chicks come with BAD HABITS...

IF she wants the LTR is it not best to put some conditions on that LTR and train that bich to be a better Girlfriend.

If you want a girl who is perfect in every way and has no bad habits, then best build a time machine and go back to 1952

Relationships aren't dictatorships. You can set all the terms you want, she might even agree to follow them. But eventually she slips into her old habits. Your best bet is to not get into committed relationships with girls that have bad habits(too much social media, too many male friends). These types are poor choices.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

It ended because you enforced boundaries late in the relationship.

I think I'm with @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 on this.

I actually had layed my boundaries fairly early on. But then due to life and work problems (which inevitably happen to everyone), I slipped and allowed my ex to step over some of the boundaries. Then, when I tried to reinforce them, everything collapsed.

So if there are too many boundaries to be enforced, you're better of with another girl, who doesn't require so many boundaries. This is pretty much the foundation of Anti Dump's algorithm.

 

[soulforge]

Let's say he did and she started easing back in to her bad habits later down the road lol?

This is the risk we have to take... It's about standing firm on your principals & not allowing her to get away with an inch. She starts to slide back to her old ways, well it's time to check out of the relationship.

I'm not advocating laying down boundaries on raging 304s.. They belong to the street.

But in this modern age, it's literally near impossible to find a chick who is social media posting and to some level thirst trapping or having a few male friends.. They are simply oblivious to it even being a problem.

 

[soulforge]

I think I'm with @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 on this.

I actually had layed my boundaries fairly early on. But then due to life and work problems (which inevitably happen to everyone), I slipped and allowed my ex to step over some of the boundaries. Then, when I tried to reinforce them, everything collapsed.

So if there are too many boundaries to be enforced, you're better of with another girl, who doesn't require so many boundaries. This is pretty much the foundation of Anti Dump's algorithm.

I agree with you on this... If there are too many issues to Iron out, then the probability of her slipping back are very high.

It's better to be with a girl with minimal problems. However if you meet a hot girl who has been single for let's say 18 months?

What are the chances she isn't going to the bar/club occasionally. What are the chance she isn't posting pics on social media. ****in very low.

If we want attractive young girls, who don't drink, post on social media, them best give up on western woman all together and book a flight to the middle East

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

This is the risk we have to take...

It's better the minimise the risks from the get go, and find a chick who doesn't require many boundaries.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

I agree with you on this... If there are too many issues to Iron out, then the probability of her slipping back are very high.

It's better to be with a girl with minimal problems. However if you meet a hot girl who has been single for let's say 18 months?

What are the chances she isn't going to the bar/club occasionally. What are the chance she isn't posting pics on social media. ****in very low.

I am of the opinion that it's better to date a slightly less hot chick, with significantly less odds of going to bars and clubs.

If we want attractive young girls, who don't drink, post on social media, them best give up on western woman all together and book a flight to the middle East

Not for long though, feminism is creeping its way into the middle east very well these days.

 

[soulforge]

It's better the minimise the risks from the get go, and find a chick who doesn't require many boundaries.

I agree with you. I think it's a risk assessment.

If you meet a girl, who (while single) occasionally went out for a night out or on the odd occasion posted a social media pic... Well she has the potential to take a hint & change her ways in order to keep her LTR.

If she is addicted to social media, and many male friends etc, then obviously she is a lost cause.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You assume they will naturally drop these habits for you because they see you as high value... I disagree with that... You could be the absolute fukin chad of the century, social media is so deeply engrained in the modern woman, it's the absolute NORM to them to be posting thirst traps, even when they are with a high value man that they really like.

I have witnessed it firsthand; a girl will drop her thot friends and single habits for you instantly. NOW, if you slightly lose frame/she starts to lose interest in you then she will naturally start resorting back to her old ways little by little. Even if I have witnessed this firsthand, I still don't bother to go for these girls because it's a ticking time bomb IMHO. Every guy is going to lose frame at some point in life because it's wife. You have a bad pitfall in life and the last thing you need to worry about is your partner ditching you.

Should you force the girl you are seeing to drop all her male friends? Nope... However early on when she is pushing for a relationship, there is no harm in letting her know (indirectly in some cases) that you don't LTR girls who spend alot of time around dudes.

What are some reasonable points to make to on a LDR? A girl with a lot of male friends is big red flag in general, so I wouldn't even consider dating her in the first place lol. If she's initially showing more red flags than a Chinese parade, then I'm not going to date her, I'm going to LTR the girl with the most green flags. Going back to my first point, a girl that I might meet might have some red flags from just being a single girl which makes sense, but she will hopefully naturally drop those as the relationship progresses. Now, if it's 3 months in and she's still flirting with her ex, going to clubs, showing mixed signals,and just planned a weekend trip to Miami without you then yeah don't date her lol.