Sooo here is the situation.
Last year I have been spinning plates as usual.
One girl sees me every day passing in front of the place she works, tells mutual friends to arrange a meeting in a social situation so we get to know each other.
Two weeks before that, she broke up with her LTR of 7 years.
From what she told be she liked me and wanted to meet me for over a year but didn't do a move when she was in a relationship.
She comes to my place at that same night we met and we ****.
Apparently, she never did this before and I am only the third man she's ever been with.
(for the record I am 30 y.o., she is 25)
She seems to be LTR material, comes from a healthy family, no crazy past, no tattoos, no red flags as far as I can see. And she seems to be crazy about me.
Long story short, we end up being exclusive after a couple of months and still are a year later. We live together in my house.
Problem no1 (the basic one).
In the beginning, like in the first month, she made a disrespectful comment about my size. I was jokingly saying to not kiss me the way she did before I go to work because I ll have a biiig problem and she goes on to say, ehhh it's satisfying in size but not that big.
(A bpd plate did something like this, one minute she said I was the best **** in her life inflating my ego and then went on to say jokingly that my **** is good but she has seen bigger ones which ****ed my self-esteem and was the reason I dropped her, even though I didn't tell her why or shown her that it hurt me)
I started withdrawing attention from her and when she asked why, I told her straight that what she told me is rude and I have other women to **** that appreciate me more. She tried to explain herself and say it was a joke. I didn't buy much into it, but after that day she became much more giving in general and never had an issue again.
BTW I am average in size, 6.3 length, 5.3 girth and never had an issue with that.
Problem no2
She still was friends with ex on social media, still had some pictures with him, still had his number.
Still had some pictures she was on his lap in her phone in a hidden folder she thought I have not seen.
He tried to contact her in the beginning a lot, she replied in a passive way and when he learned that she was with me, he send her a message telling that she should have told him she was with someone else so he doesn't bother her. She replied that he doesn't bother her, apparently to show she doesn't care. He never contacted her again.
Anyway I never told her anything about that or put any boundaries because I was secure in what we had I think.
One year later, I notice her friends still telling her about him, how goes his life etc and we end up having a fight. She told me she had those photos on her phone as just memories, and she only wants me and never wants to lose me.
I told her that there is no logic in keeping those because she now makes memories with me but it's her choice what to do, even if she deletes them, it makes no difference if he still is in her mind. She goes on to delete everything except his number and the viber conversation they had.
Problem no3
One week later than this incident, she makes again a "joke" about my size.
She wanted to have a bath, I had to walk the dog. As she goes to the bath, I hug her from behind and kiss her and she says will you take out the little one? (meaning the dog, I thought)
And then bursts out laughing saying this didn't sound right.
I try to take it lightly and fall down saying I am dead, she continues laughing and says "no, no you are big" which made it worse.
Now, a day later I don't want to **** her and I keep thinking about ****ing another girl just to feel good.
Please let me know what you think about the situation and feel free to roast me if I am just being an insecure idiot.
Last year I have been spinning plates as usual.
One girl sees me every day passing in front of the place she works, tells mutual friends to arrange a meeting in a social situation so we get to know each other.
Two weeks before that, she broke up with her LTR of 7 years.
From what she told be she liked me and wanted to meet me for over a year but didn't do a move when she was in a relationship.
She comes to my place at that same night we met and we ****.
Apparently, she never did this before and I am only the third man she's ever been with.
(for the record I am 30 y.o., she is 25)
She seems to be LTR material, comes from a healthy family, no crazy past, no tattoos, no red flags as far as I can see. And she seems to be crazy about me.
Long story short, we end up being exclusive after a couple of months and still are a year later. We live together in my house.
Problem no1 (the basic one).
In the beginning, like in the first month, she made a disrespectful comment about my size. I was jokingly saying to not kiss me the way she did before I go to work because I ll have a biiig problem and she goes on to say, ehhh it's satisfying in size but not that big.
(A bpd plate did something like this, one minute she said I was the best **** in her life inflating my ego and then went on to say jokingly that my **** is good but she has seen bigger ones which ****ed my self-esteem and was the reason I dropped her, even though I didn't tell her why or shown her that it hurt me)
I started withdrawing attention from her and when she asked why, I told her straight that what she told me is rude and I have other women to **** that appreciate me more. She tried to explain herself and say it was a joke. I didn't buy much into it, but after that day she became much more giving in general and never had an issue again.
BTW I am average in size, 6.3 length, 5.3 girth and never had an issue with that.
Problem no2
She still was friends with ex on social media, still had some pictures with him, still had his number.
Still had some pictures she was on his lap in her phone in a hidden folder she thought I have not seen.
He tried to contact her in the beginning a lot, she replied in a passive way and when he learned that she was with me, he send her a message telling that she should have told him she was with someone else so he doesn't bother her. She replied that he doesn't bother her, apparently to show she doesn't care. He never contacted her again.
Anyway I never told her anything about that or put any boundaries because I was secure in what we had I think.
One year later, I notice her friends still telling her about him, how goes his life etc and we end up having a fight. She told me she had those photos on her phone as just memories, and she only wants me and never wants to lose me.
I told her that there is no logic in keeping those because she now makes memories with me but it's her choice what to do, even if she deletes them, it makes no difference if he still is in her mind. She goes on to delete everything except his number and the viber conversation they had.
Problem no3
One week later than this incident, she makes again a "joke" about my size.
She wanted to have a bath, I had to walk the dog. As she goes to the bath, I hug her from behind and kiss her and she says will you take out the little one? (meaning the dog, I thought)
And then bursts out laughing saying this didn't sound right.
I try to take it lightly and fall down saying I am dead, she continues laughing and says "no, no you are big" which made it worse.
Now, a day later I don't want to **** her and I keep thinking about ****ing another girl just to feel good.
Please let me know what you think about the situation and feel free to roast me if I am just being an insecure idiot.
