Bringing a girl to your city and staying at a hotel

[sangheilios]

No of course, thanks for your input. I'm not sure what about this is cringy, but now she's changing her mind and says that she would feel unsafe travelling across the country to meet a stranger and would prefer if I travel to meet her there for the first time. I don't have time to do that next weekend (and I'm flying out for holidays after), so whatever

I'm going to be very blunt with you here. You are clearly being scammed or setup for something, though what that specifically is we all can just speculate on. This isn't how women behave with random men that they've met off of the internet. Has this person asked for you to send money or anything? Has this person asked for nudes or **** pics? I also don't know what country you are in but I'd also be concerned about this being a setup for you to get robbed, abducted, killed, etc. There are a lot of sketchy and crazy people out there and the internet is a perfect place for them to fish for victims, especially men that are desperate for any form of female validation or attention.

I'm not saying any of this to put you down or make fun of you but you should be asking yourself why you are even entertaining something like this for more than just a few seconds. We can and will make mistakes, I'd just chalk this up as a waste of time and move on. Side note, most of the profiles you will match or connect with on dating apps or sites are fake in some manner or another and often are doing it for things ranging from attention to some sort of monetary gain.

 

[RobbyDog]

Sounds like a scam or possibly something worse. No offense, but women don't travel 4 hours for some guy they've been chatting with on the internet and have not actually met or dated.

This one sounds fishy for sure, but it does happen.

This is experience is obviously an outlier, but I had a solid HB7 tinder chick drive about 3 hours to my place for the first meet/overnight. We had been chatting for quite some time before. I told her we were too far to realistically date. Prior to meeting me she said I seemed like a good guy who wasn’t just looking for sex. And she drove that far for…sex . Proof that a true high interest woman will move mountains to see you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I had a friend from Eastern Europe fly into SoCal after talking with a man on line for a year.

She went to his place, he opened the door, she jumped into his arms and they married a year later. Still living in Cali. True story!

She flew all the way there and he didnt go to the airport to pick her up? D@mn.....

Well. At least they are happy.

 

[sangheilios]

How do they behave? In your experience. What would you propose?

I mean, her flying to OP's is suspect, her suggesting that HE fly to hers is suspect. How are two people who meet off the internet and live a distance away from each other supposed to meet?

Each buy a plane ticket and meet at a half way point for coffee? Lol

I'm not being obtuse, I'm generally curious how y'all think these types of long distance on-line interactions shouid go down when they want to meet in person.

I had a friend from Eastern Europe fly into SoCal after talking with a man on line for a year.

She went to his place, he opened the door, she jumped into his arms and they married a year later. Still living in Cali. True story!

Personally, while I've had a couple of meaningful long-distance on-line interactions, they were never sustainable long enough to plan a meet, I preferred meeting men local.

But always wondered how they worked. And how they ultimately met in person, when they did.

I've heard both horror stories and happy endings like my friend.

To start, the poster mentioned that he had connected with this woman on OkCupid.......that in itself is a huge red flag lol. Women, particularly a "Ukrainian hottie" as the op described, don't need to go on a dating site like that to connect with men that are several hours away when there are more than enough men in their immediate vicinity. If I live in Boston, MA do I need to be looking to NYC in order to find someone or vice versa? The answer is no. To add to this, the "Ukrainian hottie" as he described by itself gives this a catfish/scammy type feel to it. This whole thing really doesn't need further elaboration because clearly something is not right.

With the story you did mention, the biggest difference there is that those two had been speaking online for about a year BEFORE they even met. I'm also sure that they did not meet on some generic dating site, such as OkCupid, that is more often than not filled with leftover women and fake profiles. For international/long distance dating, I think this is when you start getting into niche subfields of online dating. I've crossed paths with a couple men that ended up marrying women from S.E Asia/Philippines that they had connected with on some sort of marriage website. Stuff like that is legitimate but those websites are specifically created for western, particularly American, men to connect with women in wherever these regions are. They have sites dedicated for women in latin america, S.E asia, etc. I personally don't really feel this is something that men should really get into, it just sounds like a very good way to attract a gold digging female into your life. With that said, that's not really the point of the discussion on this thread.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Tell her you got an Air BnB. Then bring her to your place and remove any identifying stuff

 

[sangheilios]

I agree with you, and always considered it suspect when a man on a dating app reached out to me who lived a distance away. Several hours away. Or sometimes from a completely different country!

I thought just what you said, why would a quality legit guy be contacting me? Why is he not focusing on meeting local women?

Or maybe he's doing both but I always thought it was odd, I never trusted it, fully.

What we don't know here is who reached out first?

OP, did you reach out first? Or did she?

If you did, may I ask why? She's four hours away.

If SHE did, same question to her. I wouldn't trust it.

Imo, let the whole thing go and focus on meeting local chicks.

Not worth the hassle, of either wondering what her game is (assuming she reached out first) or the logistics of where she's gonna stay, who's gonna pay, etc.

You are way overthinking this. As soon as I read a 37 year old man talking about meeting a "Ukrainian hottie" on OkCupid I knew that this guy was getting conned, catfished, scammed....whatever you want to call it lol. This really needs no further discussion.

 

[The Duke]

I had a girl drive 6hrs to my place for a first date. Met at my house, took her to a bar, back to my place for hot sehx.

Had another one I drove an hour to meet for a first date. She claimed I never showed up, so she left. That of course was a lie. The good thing was I had a backup plan incase that happened so it was no big deal.

Moral of the story....if you go to see them, make sure it is convenient for you and you go for a reason other than the woman.

If they come to you. Don't spend a dime until they show up.

Don't make this harder than it is. Guys that think too much don't get pu$$y. Paralysis by overanalysis.

 

[sangheilios]

I had a girl drive 6hrs to my place for a first date. Met at my house, took her to a bar, back to my place for hot sehx.

Had another one I drove an hour to meet for a first date. She claimed I never showed up, so she left. That of course was a lie. The good thing was I had a backup plan incase that happened so it was no big deal.

Moral of the story....if you go to see them, make sure it is convenient for you and you go for a reason other than the woman.

Try and get them to come to you. Don't spend a dime until they show up.

Was she also from OkCupid and Ukrainian by any chance?

 

[The Duke]

Was she also from OkCupid and Ukrainian by any chance?

She was Hungarian in USA. From Match.com. If you play it like I do you don't have any issues. Make it on your terms so you don't lose.

 

[sangheilios]

She was Hungarian in USA. From Match.com. If you play it like I do you don't have any issues.

I was being sarcastic with my reply, as that is literally what was described in the original post on this thread. I don't use online dating sites or apps but glad you had a real experience.

 

[bat soup]

I'm talking to this Ukrainian hottie that lives in the same country but 4 hrs drive away, we're talking about me bringing her over to my city for a nice time and potentially getting a hotel room together for a night together. I mentioned my place but she says in her culture it's very indecent for a woman to stay at another man's place. Anyone here done this with a girl you haven't met before?

I've been to Ukraine several times and I have to say that this is true. In Ukrainian culture women don't sleep at a man's place. Unless he's hot.

 

[user252009]

I forgot to mention that okcupid was just a starting point, we've been talking over IG for much longer

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

This topic is cringe lol. This is an obvious scam/or desperation attempt and some of the posters encouraging it make my stomach hurt.

 

[sangheilios]

This topic is cringe lol. This is an obvious scam/or desperation attempt and some of the posters encouraging it make my stomach hurt.

Thank you for being one of only a few other posters on here pointing out the obvious to this poster, mind boggling that this is still being encouraged.

 

[sangheilios]

I forgot to mention that okcupid was just a starting point, we've been talking over IG for much longer

How about getting her ACTUAL phone number so you can talk over the phone? If you've been talking with her for this long this would not be an issue. You won't get an actual number but instead will get some sort of excuse like how her phone is broken or how she doesn't give out her number to men she doesn't know. Your response will then be to cut this person out from your social media by blocking the profile and moving on with your life.

I don't say any of this to put you down or make fun of you, I'm trying to help you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I've been to Ukraine several times and I have to say that this is true. In Ukrainian culture women don't sleep at a man's place. Unless he's hot.

Are you saying they wouldn’t sleep at a man’s place, it would happily sleep with the same man at a hotel? Doesn’t make much sense.

 

[bat soup]

Are you saying they wouldn’t sleep at a man’s place, it would happily sleep with the same man at a hotel? Doesn’t make much sense.

No, I'm saying that women will use all kinds of dumb excuses if they don't like you.

 

[user252009]

I put this one on the backburner, will play with her when I'm overbored

 

[EyeBRollin]

I had a chick fly in once, during covid. I booked her hotel and flight using points. Everything was a formality at that point. If she makes the trip, she’s fvcking. I picked this girl up and noon, and was inside her by 1 pm (that included the 45 minute drive from the airport).

 

[EyeBRollin]

How are two people who meet off the internet and live a distance away from each other supposed to meet?

Ive done it. Have to be traveling to that city for something else. A work conference or vacation. Shvt like that. The hotel is already booked. Then it becomes a one night stand play, with built-in scarcity. I’ve fvcked a few girls this way.

My buddy used to get most of his bangs that way as well. He would take himself on vacation, meet a lot of chicks, bang one, then get her to come back to his city the next time. Even the chicks he didn’t bang he would keep in touch with then hit them up on repeat trips. At one point he had girls flying in town to bang him every other weekend.