My mental health has really been declining lately

[member160971]

I left the US a few months ago because I couldn’t stand the environment any longer. I was bouncing around between different ****ty jobs and eventually landed a remote English teaching gig which allowed me to finally take the plunge and travel for a longer period.

My experience has given me the impression that the grass is not greener when it comes to relationships. I’ve spent most of my time so far in Eastern Europe (although I’m currently in Portugal because of the weather), and honestly I haven’t really connected with anyone. I thought maybe I’d start dating a bit more out here but instead I’ve been isolating. I’ve stayed in hostels, tried to put myself out there with online meetups, etc, and haven’t gotten much out of any of it. The “dates” I’ve been on have been garbage. I don’t understand the weird fetish men have about euro women now.

I’ve met a few cool people who I keep up with on instagram, but generally my social life hasn’t improved much. I’m just starting to think I need to get used to being on my own and ditch my dumb fantasy about connecting with the opposite sex meaningfully.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

How good are you at chatting up random people as you go about your day? Can you start conversations with the strangers you encounter, form connections and have them wanting to see more of you?

 

[Solomon]

Have you tried meeting women at night life venues? meet websites have never worked for me
WHat I would do is find events in your city, depending on how big or small the city is you may have to look ahead of time

 

[member160971]

Have you tried meeting women at night life venues? meet websites have never worked for me
WHat I would do is find events in your city, depending on how big or small the city is you may have to look ahead of time

I’ve had a harder time meeting people at nightlife venues here than I did in the US. It’s a bit easier in Portugal, but was tricky in Eastern Europe because of the social circle culture.

I may need to get better at finding events, I’ve mainly used Couchsurfing for meetups.

 

[member160971]

I

How good are you at chatting up random people as you go about your day? Can you start conversations with the strangers you encounter, form connections and have them wanting to see more of you?

I dont consider myself bad at it but it depends on the circumstance. I dont usually approach people without context.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I dont consider myself bad at it but it depends on the circumstance. I dont usually approach people without context.

If you learned to befriend the people you meet as you go about your day, they would want to see more of you. And when that happens, suddenly they'll introduce you to all their friends. And before long your network will have grown. If you want to learn how to do that, ask me more. And if not, all the best!

 

[Gamisch]

My brother - this is a classic example of….no matter where you go, there YOU are. You’re not working on yourself, forcing yourself to be better. You left a situation and expected life to magically improve. It doesn’t work that way.

This.

It's normal we are looking for answers , even without knowing the exact question, if that makes sense.

Right now you are a tourist. Viewing a part of the world most people will never see. Tays a amazing experience and you should see it like that.

Women in Latin cultures are not necessarily easier than western women. At the end of the day Pssy is pssy no matter the colour or culture it's in.

If your mission is to connect, then go on and connect. Discover this new world . Shake hands make friends . Ditch looking for " the one ", just have fun over there. Learn the language (if needed) ,find other travelers to connect with .

 

[CollegeMan22]

I think the most important thing is for you to meet someone new (male or female) every day. Shared social events are great for this. You can meet people in the lobby of your residence too. All you have to do is make an environmental observation (socials events do this for you, as the event is the environment).

Just open your mouth, talk to them, ask them questions and share your story. Try to add pizazz to make conversations more fun. Instead of saying “I’m from the US”, say “I am from the land of fat people” (deadpan). You can do this with anything they say to make the interaction more enjoyable.

Then just say “We should hang out sometime” or “Let’s exchange numbers” and you got a new potential friend. If you do this once daily, you will create a MASSIVE social circle in a year.

For women, do the same thing but add in teases and flirts specific to the relationship between you and her.

It’s a matter of habit, and I’m sure you can get it down with a bit of mental effort right now.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I think the most important thing is for you to meet someone new (male or female) every day. Shared social events are great for this. You can meet people in the lobby of your residence too. All you have to do is make an environmental observation (socials events do this for you, as the event is the environment).

Just open your mouth, talk to them, ask them questions and share your story. Try to add pizazz to make conversations more fun. Instead of saying “I’m from the US”, say “I am from the land of fat people” (deadpan). You can do this with anything they say to make the interaction more enjoyable.

Then just say “We should hang out sometime” or “Let’s exchange numbers” and you got a new potential friend. If you do this once daily, you will create a MASSIVE social circle in a year.

For women, do the same thing but add in teases and flirts specific to the relationship between you and her.

It’s a matter of habit, and I’m sure you can get it down with a bit of mental effort right now.

Huh?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I’ve found in my young life that the problem with seeking a new environment for a fresh start is that we bring ourselves along.

 

[BadBoy89]

You need some more life experience.

I was 17 years old and went to France to visit family and thought hot women would finally make sweet sweet love to me. Yeah...that didn't happen. I ended up arguing with everyone because some girls I just met through acquaintances didn't kiss me right away.

I was 20 years old and went backpacking across Europe for 5 weeks with a buddy. I thought hot women would finally make sweet sweet love to me. Yeah...that didn't happen. I ended up fighting with my buddy because we couldn't find any girls to make love to us in Germany, so we went our separate ways. I got locked outside of a Paris Train Station from 12 am - 6 am with the homeless, ended up getting my music stolen, got fined on a train, and almost got kicked out of a hotel that I paid for in Amsterdam because they wanted more money.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. Look what a young guys does for girls. The good thing about getting older is a man won't give a girl more than 47 seconds to impress him / have sex with him.

OP - the sky is blue everywhere. Girls won't love you because you live in Spain instead of the US.

 

[Kotaix]

You have to dive headlong into the culture if this kind of move is to be successful. You can't just half-ass it. Go out and learn the language, not just dabbling, force yourself to speak it and only it. Engage with the locals and try to learn something new, if you don't then you're not going to have success.

People really warm up to you when you make the effort to fit in. Otherwise you're just another tourist to be tolerated.

 

[member160971]

You have to dive headlong into the culture if this kind of move is to be successful. You can't just half-ass it. Go out and learn the language, not just dabbling, force yourself to speak it and only it. Engage with the locals and try to learn something new, if you don't then you're not going to have success.

People really warm up to you when you make the effort to fit in. Otherwise you're just another tourist to be tolerated.

Well, both Serbian, Bulgarian and Turkish (counties where I spent most my time) are quite difficult languages for me, and obviously no way would I be getting fluent in all of them.

Hard to do what you describe in Europe with so many languages spoken.

 

[Kotaix]

Well, both Serbian, Bulgarian and Turkish (counties where I spent most my time) are quite difficult languages for me, and obviously no way would I be getting fluent in all of them.

Hard to do what you describe in Europe with so many languages spoken.

Serbian, Bulgarian, Croat, Russian, Slovenian, Czech. These are all related languages with a lot of either similar words or similar syntax. Learning one will carry over into the other. I recommend learning russian because it gives you the alphabet, the case structure and the vocabulary.

If you learn spanish, you'll be able to learn portuguese and italian like they're nothing.

I was recently in Italy and Croatia. I speak spanish and I was able to converse quite easily with the locals in Italy without ever having spoken italian. I only studied out of a book for two months before going. I was also able to understand at least some of what Croatians were saying despite never having even heard it because I speak basic Russian.

I will give you Turkish tho, that is one FVCKED up language with no relation to anything western.

Don't make excuses. You will not succeed if you can't penetrate the culture, be it in work or in women. Right now you're the equivalent of a muslim woman wearing a hijab in a redneck town: tolerated but mostly ignored.

 

[momentomori]

I think the primary benefit that comes with these types of moves come from when you've made your money in a western country, saved and invested, and can now enjoy the fruits of your labor in a foreign country.

With this money, yes you can engage in the dating scene, but what I think is not talked about in these PUA circles is that you'll get the bulk of your fun from P4P (This is probably due to remnants of feminism shaming men for P4P, erroneous assumptions that women only love you for who you are rather than what you can offer, and some other stuff). The escorts are cheaper and way hotter in these countries. With the abundance of hot escorts you will be less thirsty and needy when on dates, if you even decide to go on dates, when not enjoying your hobbies and sugar babies.

Ultimately if your looking for a wife or something it's going to be a different dynamic. You're going to really want to assimilate in the culture and stuff. However, as an intermediate step you will get escorts

So get your money right and start enjoying the abundance of hot escorts in these countries.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I think the primary benefit that comes with these types of moves come from when you've made your money in a western country, saved and invested, and can now enjoy the fruits of your labor in a foreign country.

With this money, yes you can engage in the dating scene, but what I think is not talked about in these PUA circles is that you'll get the bulk of your fun from P4P. The escorts are cheaper and way hotter in these countries. With the abundance of hot escorts you will be less thirsty and needy when on dates, if you even decide to go on dates, when not enjoying your hobbies and sugar babies.

Ultimately if your looking for a wife or something it's going to be a different dynamic. You're going to really want to assimilate in the culture and stuff. However, as an intermediate step you will get escorts

So get your money right and start enjoying the abundance of hot escorts in these.countries.

A guy who encourages brothels? Really? What, are you Justin Bieber?

 

[momentomori]

A guy who encourages brothels? Really? What, are you Justin Bieber?

I don't get the reference. But yeah, I'm encouraging brothels. I can't tell if your trying to shame me, like a cuck, but maybe it's a joke I don't get.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

I don't get the reference. But yeah, I'm encouraging brothels. I can't tell if your trying to shame me, like a cuck, but maybe it's a joke I don't get.

I just don't think such Conduct is healthy for either party, is all.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

A guy who encourages brothels? Really? What, are you Justin Bieber?

You have to learn to separate Enlil and Enki (Ea), DB. Two brothers, but very different beings alternately described in the Bible as "God". One is much more tight-@ssed than the other, to say the least.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

You have to separate Enlil and Enki (Ea), DB.

I know, right?