Girlfriend hides relationship

[xplt]

Brutally honest, I wouldn't care if she wants to hide it or not. 6 months ain't alot or maybe ima cold son of a gun as of lately

You did good on not spilling out your feelings on her that would show weakness and that you are invested more than u got to.
That will turn her off.
Remember it's the woman's job to happily show you off to her fam not you push for it.

if she wants to pull that then you will play chess
I would be a little more aggressive in my ways with her and start ignoring her sparingly until her flesh feels it like a slow burn-off.
Inject uncertainty and tension into her.
Test her to see if she is really afraid of losing you.
Remind her that you can vanish for the wrong reasons.
When you withdraw some attention, she is forced to humble herself and re-evaluate how she really feels about the relationship

till then just keep riding it out on cruise control.
I'm figuring you still sleeping with her and she giving you that booty and all that..
Your already scoring my guy.
Enjoy the moment.

I rarely answer chats when I'm at work or when at home learning. When she doesn't hear anything in hours, she always reaches out, asking if everything's ok. I'm not ignoring her intentionally, but I'm unavailable most of the days time

 

[xplt]

After reading all the posts I decided to not bring it up on my own. She has little bit of drama with her sister right now regarding vacation planning, so I'm sure this topic will come up by itself again, then I will ask her in an unfazed way about it.

I'm more relaxed than yesterday.

About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.

 

[Sleeperhead]

After reading all the posts I decided to not bring it up on my own. She has little bit of drama with her sister right now regarding vacation planning, so I'm sure this topic will come up by itself again, then I will ask her in an unfazed way about it.

I'm more relaxed than yesterday.

About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.

I can tell you she will give you some bull**** excuse when you ask her about it and you will probably lap it up.

It's clearly eating away at your self-esteem, not good. Time to snap out of it.

If I was you I would seriously evaluate your relationship. She's only getting away with what you have allowed. In my opinion you are a placeholder for her.

 

[pipeman84]

This is how is started:

I'm dating my current girlfriend for six months now.

Everything is great so far. We share the same values, she's from a conservative family, hard working, no OLD, no attention seeking on social media, great housewife, nurturing and caring, loving, higher sexdrive than me.
And the best of all, supportive in every way, emotianally controlled and very thoughtful. Our relationship is the smoothest I ever had. I even asked myself in the beginning, if i miss some drama...

This is how it ends

About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.

C'mon man. You notice the contrast between how you see her and how she sees you?

 

[xplt]

If I was you I would seriously evaluate your relationship. She's only getting away with what you have allowed. In my opinion you are a placeholder for her.

I'm already evaluating because I have the same opinion as you about being a placeholder. But I'm not rushing to exit right now, I want to hear her side when it's time to

 

[xplt]

C'mon man. You notice the contrast between how you see her and how she sees you?

Unfortunately, yes...

 

[BJP1991]

Been there, done that. Wish I would have bailed sooner. It’s not right to be in the dark, especially if you are exclusive with her in your mind. Sure, early on within the first year I get it - but after a while that’s just not cool. It’s really kinda shady - almost like a back door for her to get out of the relationship easier or maybe fool around with somebody else one day.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Right now you’re only 6 months in, the less the family knows about you the less stress you’re going to have. They can’t talk sh1t about you and brainwash her mind if they don’t know anything about you. 6 months feels like a long time, but it is not. Its pretty likely you don’t know as much about her as you think you do , I would knock her off this pedestal mentally a little bit and just chill.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I would give it the 3 month after the dating/sex has been consistent rule. If a girl is flaunting the relationship after your first week then that’s a red flag. If it’s been 6 months and you still haven’t met her friends then that’s not good either.

 

[xplt]

which you can cover up with a long sleeve shirt right?

Right. I don't have excess tattoos or tattoos in areas that can't be covered.

 

[xplt]

Time for an update.

I've been busy with work, studying and sports the last days, so I managed to get this issue nearly out of my mind. Glad to feel a relieve.
I have an exam on the weekend, so I rejected her advances for seeing me two times this week, but saw her on Tuesday evening. I didn't treat her differently, we spent time together as we usually do when we see each other on weekdays.
I didn't feel the need to talk about this and let it be for the moment.

She called me today, drenched in tears. The discussions with her sister escalated a bit. In regards the whole topic came to the surface on its own. A lot of you guys were spot on...

Her sister just brought the first guy home a month ago and she's 26. Now she gets the new boyfriend of her sister rubbed under the nose at every opportunity. The situation where her sister told the family, that she now has a boyfriend is a story of it's own.
On the last weekend the sisters boyfriend was celebrated as the savior of the family as they were sitting together and my girlfriend still got bashed for a relationship she left four years ago.
She gets criticized a lot at home and is afraid to bring someone home, because she thinks she will be talked out of the relationship or that she gets told the guy is not good enough or that it's not a good fit, etc.

I should be really glad to not be involved in the family right now. The sister and the mother sound insanely crazy.

Thought I caught something smooth and easy for once and it's a mess again.

 

[xplt]

Although the situation felt weird to me I kept my mouth shut, kept it fun as always and the relationship just progressed as it should over the last months.
I got to know her whole cirlce, she's involved in mine.
Her family isn't near as bad, as she portrait it.
She's all over me, she's drama free, very nurturing, wants to see me every day.

But my gut feeling, that she was still on the lookout or at least open for other options was right.

We were out with one of her girlfriends last weekend and her friend mentioned a guy my woman met and was interested in. Turned out they met in the first few months we started dating.
She exchanged numbers with him, but he ghosted her.

I just ignored it the night, but she felt pretty caught and till today pretty guilty. She tried to kill the topic asap.

We weren't exclusive at this point and it shouldn't be my business, but to know I was right hurts a little bit and my picture of her is somehwat shattered.

If the other guy wouldn't have ghosted her, I could be out of the picture today. The other thing is, exchanging numbers could not be the only thing that happened.
When I'm involved with women I lose interest when other men are in the picture. The greatest gift exes could always do to me, was rubbing a new guy in my face. That was always the best medicine to forget them, but now I'm in the dark.

I turned down three other women in the beginning of this relationship and was again loyal to someone who wasn't equally loyal.

Right now I just bite my teeth again and to be honest, I don't know how to navigate this right now.
I felt disrespeced AF in this situation and my ego is itching again and tells me to run.

 

[Murk]

So you met her family and everyone now? Any explanation why she told people you were a craftsman?

Anyway, she was likely banging this dude but he was not committing/playing ball, when he had his fill of your GF he ghosted her. It's probably around that time she started to call you BF and let you around her family.

I can't lie I'd be disgusted too. So in your initial posts you mention, and I'm paraphrasing here "she is not seeing any other dudes she's open with her phone no men pop up", that just means she was very sneaky about it. I think you let her off the hook too easily, I would have got the details while the friend was there and potentially ended it on the spot.

I can tell you one thing, the advice that was given to me... whatever you're feeling now will not go away. You can't trust her.

 

[Gamisch]

Although the situation felt weird to me I kept my mouth shut, kept it fun as always and the relationship just progressed as it should over the last months.
I got to know her whole cirlce, she's involved in mine.
Her family isn't near as bad, as she portrait it.
She's all over me, she's drama free, very nurturing, wants to see me every day.

But my gut feeling, that she was still on the lookout or at least open for other options was right.

We were out with one of her girlfriends last weekend and her friend mentioned a guy my woman met and was interested in. Turned out they met in the first few months we started dating.
She exchanged numbers with him, but he ghosted her.

I just ignored it the night, but she felt pretty caught and till today pretty guilty. She tried to kill the topic asap.

We weren't exclusive at this point and it shouldn't be my business, but to know I was right hurts a little bit and my picture of her is somehwat shattered.

If the other guy wouldn't have ghosted her, I could be out of the picture today. The other thing is, exchanging numbers could not be the only thing that happened.
When I'm involved with women I lose interest when other men are in the picture. The greatest gift exes could always do to me, was rubbing a new guy in my face. That was always the best medicine to forget them, but now I'm in the dark.

I turned down three other women in the beginning of this relationship and was again loyal to someone who wasn't equally loyal.

Right now I just bite my teeth again and to be honest, I don't know how to navigate this right now.
I felt disrespeced AF in this situation and my ego is itching again and tells me to run.

You are contradicting yourself in every possible way. Your damn posts are ALL OVER THE PLACE!

You say another dude in the picture is your perfect medicine for moving on, yet you "don't know what to do".

This has been going on since November last year, you are NOT exclusive but yet you feel some type of way because she got ghosted by a dude . Her bff seems to have started talking about the other dude like they've rehearsed a high school theatrical play. Little girls helping each other to get rid of their "unwanted lovers ".

You must've became familiar with the phrase "placeholder " by now. Again you answered your own question. Its NONE of your business who rejects her as you guys are NOT exclusive. Thing us YOU really want exclusivity. She wants to get rid of you, its clear like daylight.

She trying to kill the topic =you keeping it alive..how long will you allow her to play you this year? November again and then claim she ia your "year long serious gf"?

 

[Murk]

You are contradicting yourself in every possible way. Your damn posts are ALL OVER THE PLACE!

You say another dude in the picture is your perfect medicine for moving on, yet you "don't know what to do".

This has been hoing on since November last year, you are NOT exclusive but yet you feel some type of way bevause she got ghosted by a dude . Her bff seems to have started talking about the other dude like they've rehearsed a high school theatrical play. Little girls helping each other to get rid of their "unwanted lovers ".

You must've became familiar with the phrase "placeholder " by now. Again you answered your own question. Its NONE of yiur business who rejects her as you guys are NOT exclusive. Thing us YOU really want exclusivity. She wants to get rid of you, its clear like daylight.

She trying to kill the topic =you keeping it alive..how long will you allow her to play you this year? November again and then claim she ia your "year long serious gf"?

Wait what, she's not his GF now?

 

[xplt]

Wait what, she's not his GF now?

She is...

and this is what makes it hard. I havent gone into anything serious since summer 2019. She's the first since then because I thought its worth it.

You say another dude in the picture is your perfect medicine for moving on, yet you "don't know what to do".

I feel despised right now and to be honest, I'm confused af.

I will answer in more detail later.

 

[Murk]

She is...

and this is what makes it hard. I havent gone into anything serious since summer 2019. She's the first since then because I thought its worth it.

Monkey branch. Keep this girl around for as long as she's useful and try to move on. Reduce her to plate status. Jump on the apps and approach women while you're out.

 

[Gamisch]

Tbh i wanted to quote you as well as the actual status is unclear. His previous post before today was from November, perhaps i misread it and she did become his gf.

Anyway, can you imagine your best homie tells your current date about other women? I would have to slap my bro for snitching on me UNLESS it was orchestrated by ..me.

I know this feeling and situation like the back of my hand. Op tries to overcompensate for the fact he "missed out on poosy due being with her". She made it known he is not her priority, and yet he stayed. I promise you nothing will chance untill she cheats on him again.

The most hypocritical thing about this is that you are actively chasing three other women and then proudly say you turned them down, but if she would "turn down" 3 men while she was with you you would be all in your feelings. Now ,apparently she was also at least talking to other men, so the both of them were snakes in this relationship.

 

[xplt]

The most hypocritical thing about this is that you are actively chasing three other women and then proudly say you turned them down, but if she would "turn down" 3 men while she was with you you would be all in your feelings. Now ,apparently she was also at least talking to other men, so the both of them were snakes in this relationship.

all three came onto me. All women I know for years and I turned them down without space for speculation. No BS.
I have nothing to hide and a true white west. That was my demand to myself, if would enter something serious.

Anyway, can you imagine your best homie tells your current date about other women? I would have to slap my bro for snitching on me UNLESS it was orchestrated by ..me.

She tried to explain the situation later when we were alone. This is what I told her:
"What you did before we were exclusive is not my business but I feel heavy disrespected. Try to put yourself in my shoes, what if you would hear something like this from my friends?"
That's all I said till now, I ended the convo there. I wasn't in the mood to talk through it by now and I honestly don't know what to say anyways tbh.

 

[xplt]

So you met her family and everyone now? Any explanation why she told people you were a craftsman?

Yes, I met everyone by now.
She hid us according to her because we were both working in the same company and she didn't want to get judged, because she had one relationship with a coworker that went pretty wrong.
But her bff doesn't know till today that we are meeting since june... the bff thinks we are seeing each other since august. And my gut tells me, this is not because we were coworkers.
Meanwhile we are both in different companies.