Peck or Make Out on First Date?

[CollegeMan22]

As I go on more dates and become more confident in my kino escalation, I have found something strange happening. I've had two girls who I've made out with on the first date basically ignore me afterward. Generally, I go for the kiss 1-1.5 hrs into the date, and then (if successful) I keep kissing/making out with her in between conversations for the rest of the date (maybe 1 hr or so). I'm chill after I end the makeout and 95% of the time pull back first. I try to be passionate in my making out but leave her hanging at the end. I keep doing it at regular intervals throughout the date (generally I take girls to park benches that are not well-lit).

For full disclosure, I did not ask these girls to come back to my apartment at the end of the date. I would generally do this on the second date.

So, I have two questions:

1) Is the solution to this problem to just give her a peck on the mouth on this first date, or to escalate all the way (which I failed to do)?

2) Are extended makeout sessions good? At what point in them should I invite her to my apartment?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Always avoid extended makeout sessions unless you are in a sex location (the car is ok)

Kissing during the date is good but do not make it a repeated thing. You have to leave her wanting more. Even if you pull back first, that doesn't mean she's been left wanting more. Always err on the side of giving her female blue balls.

 

[member160292]

Depends. If you’re after chicks in early 20’s, escalate and push the envelop as far as you can. Don’t even think twice about it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

As I go on more dates and become more confident in my kino escalation, I have found something strange happening. I've had two girls who I've made out with on the first date basically ignore me afterward.

Most guys want to get the lay on the 1st date or at least push the envelope as far as they can. Girls conclude you are only in it for the lay.

Last time I was single, I intentionally waited until the third date to go for the kiss. By that time, the sexual tension was sky high. It always worked great, at least for me.

 

[member160292]

Most guys want to get the lay on the 1st date or at least push the envelope as far as they can. Girls conclude you are only in it for the lay.

Last time I was single, I intentionally waited until the third date to go for the kiss. By that time, the sexual tension was sky high. It always worked great, at least for me.

OP's young, he can definitely get away with escalating. Girls in his age group will experiment with different dudes, OP just needs to be at the place at the right time. Run through these h0es like Draino
Also helps builds himself up for rejections that will carry on throughout his entire life.

As I'm older now, and dating women in late 20's, early 30's - Patience is everything. I can't seem to get away with the stuff I used to do in my 20's. I'm relying more on keeping that hamster spinning. Set up the decoy and go in for the killshot, if you will.
First date hug, second date peck on the lips, third date dinner at my place.
It's been working wonders so far and fits with my attitude and personality that I give off on the dates.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Most guys want to get the lay on the 1st date or at least push the envelope as far as they can. Girls conclude you are only in it for the lay.

Last time I was single, I intentionally waited until the third date to go for the kiss. By that time, the sexual tension was sky high. It always worked great, at least for me.

@CollegeMan22 this^

And also what @Chowdah said. Age bracket (generation) makes a difference.

Here are my observations:

My MO was always to escalate and go for the kiss on the first date. There was no first date that would go without a make-out session. But you have to be aware enough to realize what works vs not and adjust. So I learned a few things:

1) Every interaction/girl is different. True game lies in tailoring your "game" to the girl.
2) As Dr.Suave said, sexual tension is key. Especially if you want to retain interest and desire (ideal if you consider the girl LTR material).
3) Dating is situational. Like Chowda said, for a younger girl you have to push the envelope. Modern women are more in-the-moment than other general women. But generally speaking, most women will feel anxious and experience different levels of guilt when they make out with a stranger the first time they meet. And especially if it ended up in a hook-up. Do not expect to hear from them.

To your question, I now adjusted how I approach the first date. As I mentioned, I always thought going for a kiss was ideal. Now I:

1) Tease and sexualize the conversation at the right moments.
2) Break the physical barrier and continue teasing a bit more. *Don't overdo it*
3) Allow her to wonder in her mind "why is he not going for the kiss?" and "I want him bad". This goes back to being able to read the woman, usually, I can read it in her body language and especially in her eyes. At that point, I end up on that high note and end the date. *Unless I don't see going further/committing and maybe a hook-up is all I or both want*.

If you build that sexual tension I can almost guarantee (nothing is 100%) that she will come back and even pursue. So no, I do not kiss them on the first date. Maybe a soft kiss in the corner where her lips and cheek meet but that is it.

Try it next time.


Modern Man Advice

 

[2Rocky]

Don't start something you can't finish. If you build the sexual tension , then relieve it with a makeout, the flexibility of her attraction is going to be like a deflated balloon. it's going to take more air to get it tight again. But if you leave it partially inflated, you can come back and fill it till it bursts.

I've had coffee dates where the woman was angling for another meetup before the date was through, and I've had dates I had a makeout at the end and never got back to that level. I've also had ONS's where I did a takeaway then reengaged 15 minutes later and consummated the deal. I won't escalate unless I have logistics to finish. but that doesn't mean I don't do Kino. Kino is non Sexual , but sensual touching. Arm, Back, hands, shoulder, hugs, etc.

 

[Barrister]

Make out.

"Pecking" is going to make her think you need to be placed firmly into the friendzone. That will make her think you don't have any balls and view you in a nonsexual lens. You should be using kino to escalate to a long, deep kiss throughout the first date. And I don't know what you mean by "extended" make-out sessions. In the middle of the date, I wouldn't go past a minute of making out at any given time, but would probably do even shorter than that -- more teasing what is to come more than anything. At the every end, maybe a few minutes with some heavy "petting" involved as well. Feel her up and press the envelope on what she is willing to accept. Hands down her pants but not touching the special girl parts is a good way to test out what she is open to.

ALWAYS be pushing forward. Let her tell you when to stop. Remember, in dating (and in life in general) boldness is typically always rewarded. If you can push her so much that she loves it and invites you back to her place or to yours for a first-date lay you do it.

 

[pipeman84]

ALWAYS be pushing forward. Let her tell you when to stop.

This goes against the principle of being a challenge (which is 33% of attraction according to Doc Love, behind being confident and having self control). You come across too sexually aggressive, you scare off any quality girl.

and dating women in late 20's, early 30's - Patience is everything. I can't seem to get away with the stuff I used to do in my 20's.

Depends. If you’re after chicks in early 20’s, escalate and push the envelop as far as you can. Don’t even think twice about it.

I don't get this...a hoe in her early 20s is still a hoe in her late 20s, early 30s. So OP should adjust his MO according to what he's after (hoes or quality) not the age of the woman.

 

[member160292]

This goes against the principle of being a challenge (which is 33% of attraction according to Doc Love, behind being confident and having self control). You come across too sexually aggressive, you scare off any quality girl.



I don't get this...a hoe in her early 20s is still a hoe in her late 20s, early 30s. So OP should adjust his MO according to what he's after (hoes or quality) not the age of the woman.

OP’s age group is in their experimental phase.

Many women get over the h0e phase late 20’s
Latter part of my post is from my experience with women who have their own house and good career, filter out the h0e careers like service industry and entry level sales

 

[pipeman84]

OP’s age group is in their experimental phase.

C'mon man, that's just an euphemism for hoe.

Many women get over the h0e phase late 20’s

Once a hoe always a hoe. She'll change her approach if trying to lock down a beta (don't be that guy OP) but getting closer to 30 doesn't magically turn a hoe into a feminine, submissive, loyal, LTR- worthy girl.

 

[Barrister]

This goes against the principle of being a challenge (which is 33% of attraction according to Doc Love, behind being confident and having self control). You come across too sexually aggressive, you scare off any quality girl.

It really doesn't though. You can still be challenging during the date in other ways. Physically, you want to pushing boundaries. Keep in mind I am not saying to "aggressively" grope her as you state. This is done with subtle charm and seduction - not by trying to stick your tongue down her throat at odd times. Think Don Draper's style.

Once she sees you sexually, she often begins a soft pursuit. This is when you turn the challenge up on the situation as well.

 

[member160761]

Good advice here. From my experience being too pushy and initiating all the time can get you diminishing returns. Keep your make out time limited when you know she will turn sex down. If you push her like that during each date into that direction without building the "platonic" foundation she will lose interest if she is LTR material.

As mentioned here before, being seductive in a suave manner goes long ways. Be socially calibrated and not a degenerate.

 

[SW15]

More than peck but not a full out makeout session unless you're in a sex location and intend to have first date sex.

 

[CollegeMan22]

Always avoid extended makeout sessions unless you are in a sex location (the car is ok)

Kissing during the date is good but do not make it a repeated thing. You have to leave her wanting more. Even if you pull back first, that doesn't mean she's been left wanting more. Always err on the side of giving her female blue balls.

Good advice. I think I just let my horniness take control of me and then I go caveman mode. I actually enjoy making out a lot, but I need to give her those blue balls and invite her back to my place. That sounds more prospective than what I’ve been doing.

 

[CollegeMan22]

OP's young, he can definitely get away with escalating. Girls in his age group will experiment with different dudes, OP just needs to be at the place at the right time. Run through these h0es like Draino
Also helps builds himself up for rejections that will carry on throughout his entire life.

You’re right, man. I get impatient with the “I want something serious” girls because I have a plate that I bang 3 times a week. I don’t need to be a chode with girls, nor have them waste my time, when I have a sure fire good bang waiting for me.

 

[CollegeMan22]

ALWAYS be pushing forward. Let her tell you when to stop. Remember, in dating (and in life in general) boldness is typically always rewarded. If you can push her so much that she loves it and invites you back to her place or to yours for a first-date lay you do it.

Good advice. It sounds like my personality. My main plate right now constantly calls me “stubborn” and “aggressive”, but she’s super into me so it works. Question: how do you deal with a hard no? Say she tells you “we’re taking it too fast” and sets one of these autistic deadlines for you to get to stage X of escalation (“I’ll kiss in 3 dates, past guys have hurt me”). What’s the proper response to that?

 

[Zimbabwe]

When I first meet them I start with a kiss on the cheeks and a hug, i only kiss on the lips if the moment calls for it

 

[EyeBRollin]

Depends on the logistics for sex. If they are there.. push the envelope early and hard. If the logistics are unfavorable, get a peck and leave her wanting more.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Ime it’s sex or nothing. Making out without sex leads to buyers remorse