She made a mistake - BS excuse

[Bokanovsky]

When you’re older, it’s super-easy.

That’s because when you’re older, you are dating older women who are better at sending signals. Women are not born with an innate ability to send signals (a.ka. female game). Just like male game, it’s an acquired skill. Most young women these days have little to no game.

 

[member160761]

Women are not born with an innate ability to send signals (a.ka. female game).

That is not true. Unless a girl is severely autistic they have the innate instinct how to act around an attractive man. Women are, while men have to be made. Women are more akin to animals and children than a grown man, they go by instinct and act accordingly.

 

[Bokanovsky]

That is not true. Unless a girl is severely autistic they have the innate instinct how to act around an attractive man. Women are, while men have to be made. Women are more akin to animals and children than a grown man, they go by instinct and act accordingly.

I couldn’t disagree more. Women often have no clue how to flirt and project interest. This is especially true of western women. Why do you think there are so many self help books written for women?

 

[mikedee]

That is not true. Unless a girl is severely autistic they have the innate instinct how to act around an attractive man. Women are, while men have to be made. Women are more akin to animals and children than a grown man, they go by instinct and act accordingly.

I agree with you Don, but Bokanovsky has a point.

 

[MtmVaott]

Gift? I see and talk to her (and other people in my class) everyday for 5mins max. At the end of the week, it's a total of approximately 20 mins of my time, not that time consuming imo. I don't feel that exhausted talking to her for 20mins per week and writing a one line message to invite her out. It's not like I had been dating her for weeks.
Is it wrong to give somebody a compliment? I give compliment all the time to everybody, men or women, ugly or cute, if I like something about them (piece of clothes they wear, something they said or did, etc) I will let them know. It's always genuine, I don't expect anything in return, it makes people feel good and it makes me feel good.

I care what other people think of me, including those who don't care for me and who I don't care for. So I am quick to spend energy and time on people and topics I don't care about. I am not saying you do that, but I wanted to provide the subject so you could see if it's true in your case.

It's a fact that mid-terms are coming, I should be studying too. I give the benefit of the doubt. Girls have their things too, she doesn't owe me anything, I was ok with that, believing it was true. Maybe it was the plan (to study) but she got invited last minute on Friday and decided to go, maybe it was this or that... It doesn't matter, she is not interested, and I shouldn't have said anything.

What I'm not ok with is the fact that I had promised myself not to hit on the girls I'm studying with and I slipped, bad move.
Now the best thing to do is keep doing my things, be cool and friendly like before, like nothing happened, and most of all to avoid hitting on her again, I'm gonna be studying with her for a while so...
If she reaches out, we'll see but I don't think she will.

What AtomSmasher tried to say a bit differently is that there is no need to hit her up at all, even if she would be sky high interested. You see each other regularly, and one day both of you are attracted to each other and behave accordingly, the next day you step out the bed with the wrong foot and are shut off with her and she gets sad, next day both of you feel it again, next day her cat dies and she's shut off, and so on. After some weeks back and forth she positions herself for the kiss and after that things escalate in the same way. Or they don't because one of you discovers a dealbreaker. But no asking her out needed here. If it would be weird to make out in the study group for example, the girl would fabricate a situation for it for you.

be cool and friendly like before, like nothing happened, and most of all to avoid hitting on her again, I'm gonna be studying with her for a while so...

Good intentions, but if I were you I would remind myself she rejected my offer to hang out without counter offer so I could genuinely not care about her.

 

[member160761]

I couldn’t disagree more. Women often have no clue how to flirt and project interest. This is especially true of western women. Why do you think there are so many self help books written for women?

I get what you're saying, but that is not true nonetheless. If you stay sharp and keep it together, many women flock to you and show interest, independent if they are from the ****ed Zoomer generation or not. I'd say you can make the general statement for Germanic countries such as Germany, Norway and Sweden. The US and Britbongistan are by far not as bad.

I say it because I know how it used to be when I had unbreakable frame. You'd be surprised how many women become your type and vice-versa, and get out of their way to make it easy and suddenly are not as wooden as you thought they'd be.

 

[Velasco]

dating older women

Cannot be emphasized enough

 

[mikedee]

I get what you're saying, but that is not true nonetheless. If you stay sharp and keep it together, many women flock to you and show interest, independent if they are from the ****ed Zoomer generation or not. I'd say you can make the general statement for Germanic countries such as Germany, Norway and Sweden. The US and Britbongistan are by far not as bad.

I say it because I know how it used to be when I had unbreakable frame. You'd be surprised how many women become your type and vice-versa, and get out of their way to make it easy and suddenly are not as wooden as you thought they'd be.

There is no such thing as an unbreakable frame, you might think you have an unbreakable frame but for another person you have a weak frame, it depends on the culture, your personality/his her personality, upbringing, values, etc. For example, one situation X occurs, you react a certain way and you think you maintained your frame, but the girl you're dealing with might think the opposite and vice versa. This frame thing ok, yeah but nobody is a robot, we all slip sometimes, nobody is perfect. I had episodes of "weak frame" in the past and I was still able to get hot girls, other times I maintained a super rigid/unbreakable frame and got ghosted and nexted.

This frame thing, it doesn't mean anything really. It's old pua stuff.
I understand the idea yes, but unbreakable frame... come on.

 

[member160761]

There is no such thing as an unbreakable frame, you might think you have an unbreakable frame but for another person you have a weak frame, it depends on the culture, your personality/his her personality, upbringing, values, etc. For example, one situation X occurs, you react a certain way and you think you maintained your frame, but the girl you're dealing with might think the opposite and vice versa. This frame thing ok, yeah but nobody is a robot, we all slip sometimes, nobody is perfect. I had episodes of "weak frame" in the past and I was still able to get hot girls, other times I maintained a super rigid/unbreakable frame and got ghosted and nexted.

This frame thing, it doesn't mean anything really. It's old pua stuff.
I understand the idea yes, but unbreakable frame... come on.

You can replace frame with integrity and there you go. Reality is not subjective, people can feel your presence that comes from a rock solid integrity. You don't believe it because you never climbed that high.

You can **** women independent of the core of your integrity. You will attract more low-hanging fruit and be less or unable to hold a woman in that case.

 

[mikedee]

You can replace frame with integrity and there you go. Reality is not subjective, people can feel your presence that comes from a rock solid integrity. You don't believe it because you never climbed that high.

You can **** women independent of the core of your integrity. You will attract more low-hanging fruit and be less or unable to hold a woman in that case.

Frame and integrity are 2 different things.You can be a hardcore incel and have rock solid integrity.

Got 3-4 long term relationships with 9s, plus countless other girls, I've climbed high enough, if only you knew...
Don't go there.

 

[The Duke]

That’s because when you’re older, you are dating older women who are better at sending signals. Women are not born with an innate ability to send signals (a.ka. female game). Just like male game, it’s an acquired skill. Most young women these days have little to no game.

Have you ever seen a cute little girl work a guy over to get what she wants? I have many times. Most are born with it.

 

[MtmVaott]

This frame thing, it doesn't mean anything really. It's old pua stuff.
I understand the idea yes, but unbreakable frame... come on.

There isn't even something to lose or break. You can only ignore your own emotions or thoughts/opinions in the very moments. They don't go "missing". My impression of PU is getting more and more it's all based on ignoring oneself, shame, and overplaying.

Got 3-4 long term relationships with 9s, plus countless other girls, I've climbed high enough, if only you knew...
Don't go there.

What happened?

Have you ever seen a cute little girl work a guy over to get what she wants? I have many times. Most are born with it.

They are in contact with their emotions from a young age and practice social skills, but as they age they become more confident.

 

[MtmVaott]

I care what other people think of me, including those who don't care for me and who I don't care for. So I am quick to spend energy and time on people and topics I don't care about. I am not saying you do that, but I wanted to provide the subject so you could see if it's true in your case.

What AtomSmasher tried to say a bit differently is that there is no need to hit her up at all, even if she would be sky high interested. You see each other regularly, and one day both of you are attracted to each other and behave accordingly, the next day you step out the bed with the wrong foot and are shut off with her and she gets sad, next day both of you feel it again, next day her cat dies and she's shut off, and so on. After some weeks back and forth she positions herself for the kiss and after that things escalate in the same way. Or they don't because one of you discovers a dealbreaker. But no asking her out needed here. If it would be weird to make out in the study group for example, the girl would fabricate a situation for it for you.

Good intentions, but if I were you I would remind myself she rejected my offer to hang out without counter offer so I could genuinely not care about her.

Edit: If she is the right one for you at the right time, and vice versa, you will find yourself and herself fabricating the situations TOGETHER. It becomes a team effort.

 

[RangerMIke]

All good advice here, nothing to add but this....

This is a recuring theme, but men have to get to the point where they recognize that they have NO CONTROL over attraction. She is either attracted or she isn't... if she is then you have something to work with and it is possible to drive up her interest, if she doesn't no action you take will impact her emotional decision making.

She has to be attracted AND available. You just do not know. In this case it sounds like she was attracted, but she wasn't available. Why she isn't available it doesn't matter, could be she is in a relationship, could be she's just getting over a relationship, could be she has a sh1t ton of things going on in her life.

What has always worked for me in over 30 years of dating is this: Try to make a date, if she won't agree or offer an alternative time to meet up then I'll wait a period of time try again... if I get the same response, I just let her know if she is ever free to let me know. If she will not make a date FIRST time you ask her out, without giving you any alternatives the chance that you have a woman that is interested and available is VERY low. A second date request SELDOM garners results, but it does happen. If after two attempts to make a date and nothing happens, on very rare occasions will I hear from her again.

If there is no chemistry right at the start you are fighting an uphill battle... and it's much much easier to just not get butt hurt over this just move on.

 

[Atom Smasher]

That’s because when you’re older, you are dating older women who are better at sending signals. Women are not born with an innate ability to send signals (a.ka. female game). Just like male game, it’s an acquired skill. Most young women these days have little to no game.

I must respectfully disagree. I started seeing massive buying signals from girls in their twenties while I was in my late 50s.
Remember, these signals that they send are subconscious and automatic. I’m not talking about overt signals that the consciously try to bring to the table.

 

[Knight of Roses]

So she said she was studying and then slipped up saying she was going out with her friends?

hmm, yeah I wouldn’t have really called her out on it. Women make time for what’s important in their life. You were just not a priority. You might end up sleeping with her at some point but it won’t be anytime soon.

Id just wait until she reaches out to you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I must respectfully disagree. I started seeing massive buying signals from girls in their twenties while I was in my late 50s.
Remember, these signals that they send are subconscious and automatic. I’m not talking about overt signals that the consciously try to bring to the table.

Were you dating girls in their 20’s while you were in your 50’s?

 

[Gamisch]

Yes women are generally stupid like this. Or should I say super sophisticated and calculated. Dont poop where you eat, although college situations might be different. Even then so only do this when you are 100% sure. Why? Women talk. She'll be destroying your reputation through gossip. Better be mysterious and only shoot when you know you'll get the kill. She either
consciously or subconsciously gave you a clear hint..have some damn honour .

Calling her out would be more appropriate if you guys were actually dating which is not the case.

There isn't even something to lose or break. You can only ignore your own emotions or thoughts/opinions in the very moments. They don't go "missing". My impression of PU is getting more and more it's all based on ignoring oneself, shame, and overplaying.

What happened?

They are in contact with their emotions from a young age and practice social skills, but as they age they become more confident.

Also wonder what happened.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Were you dating girls in their 20’s while you were in your 50’s?

No, I had no interest. They certainly let it be known that they were mine for the taking if I wanted them.

 

[Bokanovsky]

No, I had no interest. They certainly let it be known that they were mine for the taking if I wanted them.

Of course. Who in their right mind would want a young pre-wall woman throwing herself at you? What a crazy idea.