Desire for sex past 45…

[The Duke]

There's been times on vacation at a beach resort that I've had sex 3-4 times per day for 4-5days in a row. But that's vacation with no stress.

 

[dogsta]

Mid-40s here. If I have a woman in my bed, I like it going to bed and I like it waking up in the morning - however many days of the week that covers. Can't help myself if I have a naked chick in my bed! Although, I can put a lid on things if I have an empty bed.

Libido is a man's curse.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Wanting sex can be like wanting food, exercise, alcohol or anything else. If you’ve trained yourself to hit your reward centers for sex, it drops that dopamine in waves when you have it.

In looking for partners I want, as the highest point on my list a woman that is high drive, I’ve come across a few in life that sustain that drive over an extended period of time. Unfortunately other factors have caused some of those relationships to fail.

And while I do not expect perfection from a long term partner I do expect great, regular sex that is wanted by both of us. The lack of it or it’s waning has caused me to end relationships, is what it is.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

 

[Epimanes]

I'm 44..... and after being in a marriage that was basicly void of sex for so long (25yrs). and i am now out of that marriage. I have sex on tap with my current gf ... I originally thought I could fvk every day 10x a day... but that was coming from a mindset where I was drip fed my needs from my ex. Now.... I honesty couldn't care. I can have sex now as much as I want I mostly require a stable partner and companion rather than just a fvk toy. I'm so used to gettin laid Maybe 1x a month or less from ex that my current gfs libido is almost too much...

"Can't we just hang out tonite instead".. lol...

My goals now are more financial than romantic. I'm not gettin any younger and my ex ****ed up our finances when we split... i feel I'm starting over again with virtually nothing..

So... to answer your question.. 1x a week for me is plenty... and she's the initiator.. cuz I am tired of chasing women.. and burnt out from the gas lighting and narcissistic behaviors of my ex that I can't be bothered with initiating really... I tell her "make my d!ck hard not my life! And if you want .... take it" ...

I just don't care about sex anymore. It Feels good... get off... move on to something else. Neexxxt.... I got **** I Wana do...

Epi

 

[lost_blackbird]

If I was sexually active, and as is well known I have no plans to become that.
Once a week would be fine with me, 49YO.

 

[Foe]

Im a single shake man, far to busy for the followup jingle.......

 

[Jor-El]

My grandad was still having sex at 85! He lived at 81, so it wasnt to far to go

 

[Machine10033]

Ok men, what’s your libido like as a mature man? Have you done this in your late 40s and onward?

42....seems like my libido is seasonal. During the late fall/winter it is almost non existent. First spring day I become a maniac..... until October/November.

I have had weekends during the summer where I had sex in the double digit range and still craved it.... dunno how this seasonal thing works with me but it’s legit been since high school.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well glad I’m not the only one, thank you for all the replies folks.

 

[logicallefty]

I’m 48. Once a week is good for me.

 

[LTG71]

I'm 44..... and after being in a marriage that was basicly void of sex for so long (25yrs). and i am now out of that marriage. I have sex on tap with my current gf ... I originally thought I could fvk every day 10x a day... but that was coming from a mindset where I was drip fed my needs from my ex. Now.... I honesty couldn't care. I can have sex now as much as I want I mostly require a stable partner and companion rather than just a fvk toy. I'm so used to gettin laid Maybe 1x a month or less from ex that my current gfs libido is almost too much...

"Can't we just hang out tonite instead".. lol...

My goals now are more financial than romantic. I'm not gettin any younger and my ex ****ed up our finances when we split... i feel I'm starting over again with virtually nothing..

So... to answer your question.. 1x a week for me is plenty... and she's the initiator.. cuz I am tired of chasing women.. and burnt out from the gas lighting and narcissistic behaviors of my ex that I can't be bothered with initiating really... I tell her "make my d!ck hard not my life! And if you want .... take it" ...

I just don't care about sex anymore. It Feels good... get off... move on to something else. Neexxxt.... I got **** I Wana do...

Epi

Same here, married a long time and sex is increasingly less frequent. Doesn’t help either with a post menopausal spouse that seems to have retired her libido. I laugh at all the ED med commercials. Problem is not libido or ability to get hard. The problem is an interested partner. I’ve also grown tired of seeing my wife‘s body along with her lack of effort. I see other woman daily that I’d like to sample given the amount of boredom and familiarity.

This is where I think women do themselves a disservice by not making an effort to maintain a sexual connection with their partners. The less she engages, the less I seem to engage or care. Problem is this creeps into other parts of the relationship. I assume she is tired of me as well, lol.

Now at 51, I’ve noticed that I’m less interested in sex and more interested in doing what I want to do. I think I had my midlife crisis at 45 and said “fuc this”, I need to do more rewarding sh1t before I’m dead. Funny observation and probably just evolutionary biology but I still find younger women more attractive. I‘ll occasionally notice a woman around my age look at me with interest and I’ll think, “no thanks, but your daughter sure looks good.“ I think that by this age you also become less tolerant of female bullsh!t and more concerned with return on investment. My wife will tell me about her female friends drama and all I hear is Charlie Brown‘s parents. “That’s nice dear, I’m going to go play golf now, ba bye…”

 

[SW15]

Same here, married a long time and sex is increasingly less frequent. Doesn’t help either with a post menopausal spouse that seems to have retired her libido. I laugh at all the ED med commercials. Problem is not libido or ability to get hard. The problem is an interested partner. I’ve also grown tired of seeing my wife‘s body along with her lack of effort.

Yes, this sounds like a common experience for men between 40-59.

This is where I think women do themselves a disservice by not making an effort to maintain a sexual connection with their partners. The less she engages, the less I seem to engage or care. Problem is this creeps into other parts of the relationship. I assume she is tired of me as well, lol.

This is an example of why I say romantic relationships have a shelf life of goodness of about 5 years. You're probably describing a 20+ year relationship that is way stale.

Now at 51, I’ve noticed that I’m less interested in sex and more interested in doing what I want to do. I think I had my midlife crisis at 45 and said “fuc this”, I need to do more rewarding sh1t before I’m dead. Funny observation and probably just evolutionary biology but I still find younger women more attractive. I‘ll occasionally notice a woman around my age look at me with interest and I’ll think, “no thanks, but your daughter sure looks good.“ I think that by this age you also become less tolerant of female bullsh!t and more concerned with return on investment. My wife will tell me about her female friends drama and all I hear is Charlie Brown‘s parents. “That’s nice dear, I’m going to go play golf now, ba bye…”

Who gives a shiit about about female friend drama of 40-55 year old women? I've never understood that. However, all of those "Real Housewives of X" shows are about female drama in that age range. Occasionally, those shows have a 30 something cast member, but it's older women. Who cares?

Younger women are more attractive. Even an attractive 40 year old woman is still going to have a difficult time being as attractive as many 25 year olds.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

58, pushing 59 and am currently fairly happy with a couple of times a week, but more is better when it's available.
We don't live together so I'm usually at her place at least one night mid-week, and go home late (I have dogs at home)
Weekends she comes to my place either Fri or Sat and stays overnight.

I've never been one for having a rotation (and don't like the term 'plate').... so I tend to move on when things start to slow down, or if I get interested in someone else - As a result I do get periods of a few weeks, maybe a month or so when there's no woman around.... But I'm fine with that so long as the dry spell doesn't go on for too long.

 

[Toddy]

Same here, married a long time and sex is increasingly less frequent. Doesn’t help either with a post menopausal spouse that seems to have retired her libido. I laugh at all the ED med commercials. Problem is not libido or ability to get hard. The problem is an interested partner. I’ve also grown tired of seeing my wife‘s body along with her lack of effort. I see other woman daily that I’d like to sample given the amount of boredom and familiarity.

This is where I think women do themselves a disservice by not making an effort to maintain a sexual connection with their partners. The less she engages, the less I seem to engage or care. Problem is this creeps into other parts of the relationship. I assume she is tired of me as well, lol.

Now at 51, I’ve noticed that I’m less interested in sex and more interested in doing what I want to do. I think I had my midlife crisis at 45 and said “fuc this”, I need to do more rewarding sh1t before I’m dead. Funny observation and probably just evolutionary biology but I still find younger women more attractive. I‘ll occasionally notice a woman around my age look at me with interest and I’ll think, “no thanks, but your daughter sure looks good.“ I think that by this age you also become less tolerant of female bullsh!t and more concerned with return on investment. My wife will tell me about her female friends drama and all I hear is Charlie Brown‘s parents. “That’s nice dear, I’m going to go play golf now, ba bye…”

I’m in the same situation as you, plus there is no respect and I have zero frame. What makes you stay?

 

[BadBoy89]

Ok men, what’s your libido like as a mature man? Have you done this in your late 40s and onward?

The libido is still there for me, Once a day for sure.

The caring and patience is not there. If the girl gives any resistance, like 0.01%, I’m out. Especially if she’s over 30. If she‘s under 30 and hot. OK you can put up with some crap.

It would seem that women are being told by society not to provide it more and more.

Well of course. This is how women keep power and control in relationships. By withholding sex. Since society wants women to have all power and men to be their servants, they train and brainwash them to withhold it; it’s in their best interest, he will love you more, etc.

But considering our ages, not sure how mature women are even allowed to withhold sex. In my opinion, the clothes better come off in 35 seconds if a woman is over 30. Over 35, 30 seconds. Over 40, 25 seconds….you get the picture,

Please pipe in and let me know your associated experiences. I’ve always been this way and know no other way.
If I don’t have sex at least daily I get slightly depressed and down on myself.

Again, some respect for girls under 30. Anything over 35, anything over 40, the clothes gotta come off so fast It’s not even funny.

 

[Fruitbat]

Depends on stress level for me.
low stress = high libido
High stress = low libido
Overweight = low libido
Lean = high libido

 

[LTG71]

I’m in the same situation as you, plus there is no respect and I have zero frame. What makes you stay?

I don’t know. I think this might just be the natural order of aging. Our bodies change over time and our desires change. I have three kids that we’re raising and that is my number one focus. My wife respects me but she has no libido. Like Rollo says too, “you can’t negotiate desire”. I think I resigned from making any effort myself which probably doesn’t help. This is probably the most challenging part of monogamy. Woman’s ability to procreate dies off after 30 and so does her desire for sex. Almost like they served their purpose in life and now they can relax. Problem is men’s libido doesn’t stop. This is the cruelest joke in our biological programming.

I did get a little too close to a coworker that was 10 years younger than me. Younger, hotter, tighter as the saying goes. Didn’t escalate that far but it was a huge dopamine rush getting the attention and flirting everyday. My wife noticed that I started dressing better for work and working out more. She stepped up her game a little more but it was short lived. I recognized that I turned into a huge simp during this process. I gave this coworker way more than she deserved. Myself and a few other men at work see this dynamic a lot. Insecure single women around 30 hanging around married guys. They can’t find a boyfriend for some reason but try to get all the boyfriend energy from men at work. Few of us realized we were getting played by these women and ejected ourselves from the situation. It’s funny because before when I was simping for this woman, she got tired of me. Now that I stopped the chase, she is trying to get me back in the friendzone to get those benefits back.

To me, this confirms how we operate as humans. When we get something we didn’t have to work for, we take it for granted and devalue it. Assess the situation and see how you are behaving. Are you giving too much? Why is there a lack of respect? What is your part in this situation? For me, my wife has always been a bit of a prude, I have just been fooling myself and finally accepted it. Does mean I like it, but it is what it is.

 

[Toddy]

I don’t know. I think this might just be the natural order of aging. Our bodies change over time and our desires change. I have three kids that we’re raising and that is my number one focus. My wife respects me but she has no libido. Like Rollo says too, “you can’t negotiate desire”. I think I resigned from making any effort myself which probably doesn’t help. This is probably the most challenging part of monogamy. Woman’s ability to procreate dies off after 30 and so does her desire for sex. Almost like they served their purpose in life and now they can relax. Problem is men’s libido doesn’t stop. This is the cruelest joke in our biological programming.

I did get a little too close to a coworker that was 10 years younger than me. Younger, hotter, tighter as the saying goes. Didn’t escalate that far but it was a huge dopamine rush getting the attention and flirting everyday. My wife noticed that I started dressing better for work and working out more. She stepped up her game a little more but it was short lived. I recognized that I turned into a huge simp during this process. I gave this coworker way more than she deserved. Myself and a few other men at work see this dynamic a lot. Insecure single women around 30 hanging around married guys. They can’t find a boyfriend for some reason but try to get all the boyfriend energy from men at work. Few of us realized we were getting played by these women and ejected ourselves from the situation. It’s funny because before when I was simping for this woman, she got tired of me. Now that I stopped the chase, she is trying to get me back in the friendzone to get those benefits back.

To me, this confirms how we operate as humans. When we get something we didn’t have to work for, we take it for granted and devalue it. Assess the situation and see how you are behaving. Are you giving too much? Why is there a lack of respect? What is your part in this situation? For me, my wife has always been a bit of a prude, I have just been fooling myself and finally accepted it. Does mean I like it, but it is what it is.

Thanks for the reply, and sorry OP for hi jacking!
It's probably been the opposite for me, I settled way too young to an older woman (5yrs my senior). I continued to work on myself and have massively improved in many aspects.
Very good point you make on woman's ability to procreate, once they've done their job they feel they can kick back.
I intend to continue to work on myself until I'm able to exit (when the kids have grown up).

 

[Been there..]

First post...

59 yrs old. Wife is 57. Been together 39 years

We screw 4-5 times a week. Sometimes more, rarely less.

 

[Solomon]

42....seems like my libido is seasonal. During the late fall/winter it is almost non existent. First spring day I become a maniac..... until October/November.

I have had weekends during the summer where I had sex in the double digit range and still craved it.... dunno how this seasonal thing works with me but it’s legit been since high school.

Sounds like you're in the midwest, I noticed the same thing for women their libido is through the roof spring/summer wintertime women dissappear lol