Do I have anger issues?

[member160761]

Hello goys, following problem. As of late I have zero bull**** tolerance for any girl, any woman. If they do and say something I don't like or reflects bad on their character I call them out on it. Reason is I got rejected and ****tested so often that I stopped caring to put on a face. At this point I don't feel anger but say what comes to my mind. Either the girl falls in line or is free to go away.

Example: I ask a girl on a date after we met a couple times via text. She always excuses herself and says she wants me to meet her friends because I moved new to her city. Said to her how can I meet her friends if she always rejects a meeting. Tell her then to hit me up and won't text her until then since it is supergay. Never heard of her again, did not contact her again.

Example 2: Send another girl a photo of a historical building and instead of saying thanks she complains why I did not make a panorama shot or took a video around the building. Told her she's spoiled and won't do that. I can see the building everyday and she can fly over to my city and see it for herself is what I said. Then she says she is not spoiled and I take her too serious, "thanks me" and then re-emphasizes on me taking a panorama shot, asks me how I'm doing etc. Make a joke of her being born with riches - she's from a rich family - and gets angry at me bringing it up. Tell her she can command her lapdog friend like that but if she talks to me that way it is natural I am going to tease her.

Example 3: Again another girl with whom I hit it off very well. She is very into me but ****tests the hell out of me, not replying for one or several days, trying to make me jealous on dates (doesn't work), pretends not to be interested while she clearly is but rejects advances. We have been on several dates but she still takes her time to text back, doesn't pick up the phone, so I tell her to get her act together or I won't bother wasting my time with her. She was hurt that I saw her as waste of time and haven't talked to her for more than a month. Contacted her again - I really do like her - and same ****show again. This time I don't bother at this point and stop replying to her

Do I have bad luck or can women sense my anger and ****test me extra hard? I have countless examples more than this with different women. So I don't think it is entirely on them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Do I have bad luck or can women sense my anger and ****test me extra hard? I have countless examples more than this with different women. So I don't think it is entirely on them.

Relationships are like mirrors. Just on this post we can tell you are miserable and insufferable for most women to deal with. Maybe take a break from dating and get some therapy.

 

[member160761]

Relationships are like mirrors. Just on this post we can tell you are miserable and insufferable for most women to deal with. Maybe take a break from dating and get some therapy.

Man, that's harsh to say. I am not miserable let alone insufferable. Girls react positively to me most of the time but once it gets into dating territory they act like that. Therapy is a joke. But you are right at keeping the ball low with the dating game.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Man, that's harsh to say. I am not miserable let alone insufferable. Girls react positively to me most of the time but once it gets into dating territory they act like that. Therapy is a joke. But you are right at keeping the ball low with the dating game.

Need some tough love, guy. Re-read your examples. There’s a fine line between using soft power to enforce boundaries and just being a jerk. You are over that line. Just being honest.

All women shvt test. However, after you pass the first few, the tests are far less often. Be kind. Women like kind but strong men.

 

[Barrister]

You sound like you are on the verge of becoming full-on MGTOW. A lot of frustration is coming across in this post.

If you are going to date you have to have a very thick skin and a short memory. If you let these things cause frustration and, even worse, let that frustration mount as you apparently are allowing, you are going to end up where you are at: very frustrated and ready to be done with women.

Women like a man who has a IDGAF attitude. Women (most women that is) don't like a man who is awkwardly aggressive or hyper-opinionated - contrary to what some men seem to think. Showing dominance actually requires you to act like you don't care. Having strong reactions (re: strong emotion) to anything they say is actually going to be looked at as weakness. This happens subconsciously for them.

I agree that I think maybe taking a bit of a break from dating may not be a bad idea.

 

[member160761]

There’s a fine line between using soft power to enforce boundaries and just being a jerk. You are over that line.

At this point I cannot tell the difference between the two. Earlier this year I had a better feeling but for the past five months or so it is hard to not act that way after six million rejections and ****tests. You seriously become angry at women and it is hard not to. Right now I don't feel anger but don't mind to talk as I think. I don't feel like chasing women either.

You sound like you are on the verge of becoming full-on MGTOW. A lot of frustration is coming across in this post.

If you are going to date you have to have a very thick skin and a short memory. If you let these things cause frustration and, even worse, let that frustration mount as you apparently are allowing, you are going to end up where you are at: very frustrated and ready to be done with women.

Women like a man who has a IDGAF attitude. Women (most women that is) don't like a man who is awkwardly aggressive or hyper-opinionated - contrary to what some men seem to think. Showing dominance actually requires you to act like you don't care. Having strong reactions (re: strong emotion) to anything they say is actually going to be looked at as weakness. This happens subconsciously for them.

I agree that I think maybe taking a bit of a break from dating may not be a bad idea.

You are right, I lost my being relaxed and carelessness. Will take a while before I get back on track again.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP, you can continue down this road if you'd like, but doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. You've given us 3 examples of you opening a girl and then going batshyte on them for normal female behavior.

You have a choice, you can be "right" and enforce your POV or you can be laid. The more guys there are like you the more guys that are able to duck and weave will get to hydraulics with the girls that reject you.

Adjust or FAP.

 

[Kotaix]

At this point I cannot tell the difference between the two. Earlier this year I had a better feeling but for the past five months or so it is hard to not act that way after six million rejections and ****tests. You seriously become angry at women and it is hard not to. Right now I don't feel anger but don't mind to talk as I think. I don't feel like chasing women either.


You are right, I lost my being relaxed and carelessness. Will take a while before I get back on track again.

There is no point in telling women any of the things you're telling them. Even if you're not angry (I call BS), confrontation like this just perpetuates the problem. Negativity poisons the mind.

Either turn their sh!ttests into a game, or next them.

FYI, It's refreshing to see someone who is capable of self-reflection.

 

[member160761]

There is no point in telling women any of the things you're telling them. Even if you're not angry (I call BS), confrontation like this just perpetuates the problem. Negativity poisons the mind.

Either turn their sh!ttests into a game, or next them.

FYI, It's refreshing to see someone who is capable of self-reflection.

Yeah, I remember I did not say those things in the past or if I wanted to I rather stay quiet. For me this brashness is normal and is hard, once get used to it, to see it as not normal. For me it does not feel negative. In general I am a funnny and outgoing dude, am the center in groups and garner good attention but one on one with women these dark sides come out of me.

Thank you. I am self-reflective since I can remember but it did me little good. I know the problems but feel powerless to do anything when the feelings and the subconscious are stuck in their ways. I can discuss the most complex theological and philosophical issues with ease and have strong charisma paired with good conversational skills, I should pull women left and right, which I do for the first impression, but they start hating me after a short time. Either they feel something is off or I say something that hurts them, see me as monster and go their ways.

I had phases where I was free of these shackles but the anger comes back.

 

[Kotaix]

Yeah, I remember I did not say those things in the past or if I wanted to I rather stay quiet. For me this brashness is normal and is hard, once get used to it, to see it as not normal. For me it does not feel negative. In general I am a funnny and outgoing dude, am the center in groups and garner good attention but one on one with women these dark sides come out of me.

Thank you. I am self-reflective since I can remember but it did me little good. I know the problems but feel powerless to do anything when the feelings and the subconscious are stuck in their ways. I can discuss the most complex theological and philosophical issues with ease and have strong charisma paired with good conversational skills, I should pull women left and right, which I do for the first impression, but they start hating me after a short time. Either they feel something is off or I say something that hurts them, see me as monster and go their ways.

I had phases where I was free of these shackles but the anger comes back.

I'd call this red pill rage. Maybe you agree. I struggled with this rather badly for about three years before I was able to get ahead of it, and it's still a struggle to let things be at times. Social media exposure is really good at driving up my anger levels.

The only thing that has helped has been zen/stoicism/buddhism/taoism, basically a non-theistic spiritual practice that enables to you self-reflect in the moment as opposed to after the fact. And it won't solve the problem, it just helps turn it down.

There is also such a thing as Blue Pill rage. I watched one of my best female friends go from a fun and happy person to a mean b!tch who admitted she'd driven away all her friends except for me. This was because she swallowed intersectional feminist propaganda (taught to her at Carnegie Mellon) and her response to anyone who disagreed with her was that they just hated women. And then one day she had a feminist take that was so stupid that I failed at completely supressing a laugh. We haven't spoken since that day.

Red pill rage + Blue pill rage = No go.

 

[Deranged]

Solid thread op! Some fantastic advice and reminders in here so far.

This really resonated with me:

Women like a man who has a IDGAF attitude. Women (most women that is) don't like a man who is awkwardly aggressive or hyper-opinionated - contrary to what some men seem to think. Showing dominance actually requires you to act like you don't care. Having strong reactions (re: strong emotion) to anything they say is actually going to be looked at as weakness. This happens subconsciously for them.

Makes me think. What are my values and who am I willing to compromise for?

 

[member160761]

I'd call this red pill rage. Maybe you agree. I struggled with this rather badly for about three years before I was able to get ahead of it, and it's still a struggle to let things be at times. Social media exposure is really good at driving up my anger levels.

The only thing that has helped has been zen/stoicism/buddhism/taoism, basically a non-theistic spiritual practice that enables to you self-reflect in the moment as opposed to after the fact. And it won't solve the problem, it just helps turn it down.

There is also such a thing as Blue Pill rage. I watched one of my best female friends go from a fun and happy person to a mean b!tch who admitted she'd driven away all her friends except for me. This was because she swallowed intersectional feminist propaganda (taught to her at Carnegie Mellon) and her response to anyone who disagreed with her was that they just hated women. And then one day she had a feminist take that was so stupid that I failed at completely supressing a laugh. We haven't spoken since that day.

Red pill rage + Blue pill rage = No go.

As it looks like I cannot run from the God-question. Whenever I was the most religious I exercised the greatest control over my vices, and, contrary to all expectations, women liked me and I had a natural feeling for them. I became religious five years ago and was baptized Catholic one year ago. Submitting to God and to exercise what is expected of a Christian, such as living out moral beliefs, prayer, meditation, reading of holy texts and the Bible, swallowing my ego hardened my mind and thickened my skin.

In another thread here about anger the OP was also advised that only God can solve this problem. What meditation does for you the Christian way of life did for me. Maybe I am afraid of missing out of all the *****mongering by avoiding to fully dedicate myself to Him again. Thanks a lot for the post. Some problems can only be solved by God, no intellectualizing or external influence can help you in such cases.

 

[Bokanovsky]

This has nothing to do with God. You come across as frustrated and insecure and you let your emotions control your actions. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your frustration turns women off, which, in return, makes you even more frustrated. You really need to calm the fvck down and exercise some introspection.

 

[Deranged]

This has nothing to do with God. You come across as frustrated and insecure and you let your emotions control your actions. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your frustration turns women off, which, in return, makes you even more frustrated. You really need to calm the fvck down and exercise some introspection.

How can you say that with such certainty? No one knows. Why would you steer a guy away form something that could potentially make him a positive, moral, contributing member of society? Different strokes for different folks.

 

[Bokanovsky]

How can you say that with such certainty? No one knows. Why would you steer a guy away form something that could potentially make him a positive, moral, contributing member of society? Different strokes for different folks.

I'm not steering him away from anything. But waiting for a God to solve your problems is not going to work. God is not your personal assistant.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

The reason you are being tested so much is that women don't want a crazy guy - a guy who is not socially calibrated and a guy who doesn't have control of his emotions. These types of guys are the most likely to hurt a woman physically and or put her in a really dangerous or uncomfortable situation. Women are absolute bloodhounds at sniffing this out in men. If a woman gets a strong whiff of it, she will simply hard next you or try to fade away so as to not provoke your anger. If a woman gets a faint whiff of it, that's when the tests come. She tests to try to bring your calibration and emotional control into the spotlight in order to see if that faint whiff is valid, and in the examples you provided above, all the tests worked, she obtained the confirmation she needed, and she split.

You seem like a guy who gets angry when he doesn't get what he wants, and also are not calibrated enough to read female sub communications. Maybe you are a bit on the spectrum? I don't mean that in an insulting way. But these two things I mentioned are very common characteristics for guys on the spectrum. If you are on the spectrum, it's ok - it just means you will have to be deliberate in your learning, and be willing to learn and change how you view things. As others have mentioned, you are going down the path of anger and blame toward women but this will only get your further into the darkness that will not help you. Instead you need to understand how women think, why they do what they do, and then it won't be confusing and you will be better able to handle the situations.

A woman taking a long time to respond to you is either:
1. Not that interested in you
2. Testing you because she thinks you have emotional problems and wants to see if you will get angry with her before she goes any further with you
3. Trying to game you by using it as a tactic to convey high-value to you
4. Is genuinely busy or responds slowly to everyone

So think to yourself, will any of the above motivations benefit from you putting her on the spot, calling her out, and getting upset with her?
1. She isn't that interested in you. Ok fine - so you simply don't contact her any more. Calling her out isn't going to increase her interest level in you. Either take even longer to respond to her than she does you, or just don't contact her anymore.
2. Testing you to see if you have anger issues. If this is what she's doing, why lash out at her and give her that confirmation? You lose, she wins.
3. If she's trying to convey high value to you this way, you should take that as a compliment - she is into you and wants you to think she is a catch. Why blow it by getting angry with her.
4. Busy or not a texter. Again, what will getting angry accomplish? There is no contract between the two of you on how quickly she should respond, so you are getting angry with her over something you want but she isn't aware of and also something that is outside of social norms.

From a social calibration standpoint, a girl you've been talking to a short time and haven't slept with owes you nothing in terms of response time. She is probably juggling 20 other guys and you are just one of them. If she is healthy and has a life, she is also busy and it doesn't make sense for to invest heavily in a new person she barely knows. It should be a gradual thing - the longer you know her, the deeper you go, the more she invests. That's healthy and normal. So your getting angry with her not quickly responding to her also demonstrates a lack of social calibration on your end. What would a high-value man do if a woman didn't respond to him quickly? He'd either lose interest completely and never talk to her again, or he would lose enough interest that he would focus more on the other women in his orbit and take a lot longer to get back to this one. If you aren't that high value man now, emulate him until you are.

 

[Kotaix]

As it looks like I cannot run from the God-question. Whenever I was the most religious I exercised the greatest control over my vices, and, contrary to all expectations, women liked me and I had a natural feeling for them. I became religious five years ago and was baptized Catholic one year ago. Submitting to God and to exercise what is expected of a Christian, such as living out moral beliefs, prayer, meditation, reading of holy texts and the Bible, swallowing my ego hardened my mind and thickened my skin.

In another thread here about anger the OP was also advised that only God can solve this problem. What meditation does for you the Christian way of life did for me. Maybe I am afraid of missing out of all the *****mongering by avoiding to fully dedicate myself to Him again. Thanks a lot for the post. Some problems can only be solved by God, no intellectualizing or external influence can help you in such cases.

I think this is accurate. For me, the end goal of all religions and spiritual practices is to make you realize that, no matter how much you think you have control, it's just an illusion that can and will be shattered in an instant. The tighter you hold on to that control, the more miserable you'll be, because you're holding on to a lie. And the more you surrender, the more in tune with reality you are.

I think this is why SJWs are so miserable and mentally unstable, their entire worldview is a lie.

I'm not steering him away from anything. But waiting for a God to solve your problems is not going to work. God is not your personal assistant.

God doesn't solve your problems, but it doesn't even matter if God is real. God/Religion is a magic feather than puts you into the correct state of mind to solve your own problems because it makes you more open to serendipity.

The problem with religion is all the extra guilt and moralizing that gets tacked on to it.

 

[eli77]

This was me up until the age of 18 any guy who went to public school knows a guy like you some people change some never do I know billions of guys who will be in your shoes middle class no kids no baby mama drama keep that in mind.

 

[MtmVaott]

Yeah, I remember I did not say those things in the past or if I wanted to I rather stay quiet. For me this brashness is normal and is hard, once get used to it, to see it as not normal. For me it does not feel negative. In general I am a funnny and outgoing dude, am the center in groups and garner good attention but one on one with women these dark sides come out of me.

Thank you. I am self-reflective since I can remember but it did me little good. I know the problems but feel powerless to do anything when the feelings and the subconscious are stuck in their ways. I can discuss the most complex theological and philosophical issues with ease and have strong charisma paired with good conversational skills, I should pull women left and right, which I do for the first impression, but they start hating me after a short time. Either they feel something is off or I say something that hurts them, see me as monster and go their ways.

I had phases where I was free of these shackles but the anger comes back.

All of this is familiar to me. Every bit. I even made the same experience when I tested to believe in God again.
I think Kotaix has made an awesome connection between control and faith. You put some things in Gods hand.
You can put things in the hand of other people, too. Often they will react compliant, but they don't have to.

Also take a look again what EyeOnThePrize and I have written in my thread.

 

[member160761]

@oldmanofthesea Thank you for your elaborate response. It is helpful to see it black on white where I went wrong and how I misjudged the situations. Sometimes there were moments where I could see it for what it is but then I have phases where I am blinded by anger and see my words and actions as normal response. But I don't agree on having slept with a girl to "own" you something and the autistic part. Modern psychiatry is a sham.

I think this is why SJWs are so miserable and mentally unstable, their entire worldview is a lie.

This what I see with people who have no sincere faith in God or have no spiritual inclinations.

The problem with religion is all the extra guilt and moralizing that gets tacked on to it.

This is a modern phenomenon. The Middle Ages and Renaissance were everything but that. Yes, you have a moral law but the emphasis was less on personal guilt but more on public shame. The concept of feeling guilt did not exist in ancient days as it does today. Some societies who are still collectivistic work on shame.