Girl flakes as im ten mins from picking her up

SmoothHendrixPS2

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2022
Messages
280
Reaction score
219
Age
33
What's funny to me is that some of you guys are saying she flaked on you because "she doesn't know you well enough". Well why doesn't she know you? because you haven't gotten to know her on text or phone.

I know there is an on going debate with guys on here about texting vs non texting. In this case, I'd say she would have been comfortable getting picked up by him if they had good flow and chemistry on text or phone for a couple weeks. Driving to her that far away, so early in the interaction comes of needy.

If you make texting a forbidden thing, then you are greatly limiting her comfort level with you. When it comes to OLD I am extremely patient with meeting them. I'd say on average, I don't meet with OLD girls for three weeks! These three weeks are spent getting to know each other, flirting, future projecting, sending pics, sexting, whatever it takes to get her to that point where she's not only comfortable, but EXCITED to hangout with me. She also can sense how i'm not needy to meet up with her right away. I'm basically screening her and seeing whether she'll have sex with me or not.

I understand why people don't believe in texting and I also see the value in setting up logistics right away with minimal convo... I believe this is best for girls you approached in person already.

All in all, I have had much success with texting OLD prospects and gradually getting them pulled into my web through texting, voice notes, phone calls, etc. But I also find it beneficial to keep the texting to a minimum and get right to logistics with girls I meet in person.

So all in all, there's benefits to both.
 
Last edited:

Stoic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2018
Messages
645
Reaction score
698
Age
41
This happens.

I probably would not reschedule and if you do, I would expect another high probability of a flake.

Your next reschedule needs to be exceptionally easy for you and a high percentage score play. I'm in the minority here, but I would probably do a quick face time and then tell her on face time you've been wanting to make such and such meal, grill, etc and that if she is free, you would love her to come over. Thats it. Any logistics that are not easy are not acceptable.
 
M

member160761

Guest
I understand why people don't believe in texting and I also see the value in setting up logistics right away with minimal convo... I believe this is best for girls you approached in person already.
It's not that I don't believe in texting, and I have similar experiences like you, but I am much better in talking than texting. I treat texting transactional but when talking I have the oratory skills of a famous Austrian painter. I get angry as hell when you spend days or weeks texting and then it does not work out, all that wasted time and emotions you will never get back. After a couple burns I stick to cold approach, social circle and monk mode.
 
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
3,490
Reaction score
2,762
Age
29
It's not that I don't believe in texting, and I have similar experiences like you, but I am much better in talking than texting. I treat texting transactional but when talking I have the oratory skills of a famous Austrian painter. I get angry as hell when you spend days or weeks texting and then it does not work out, all that wasted time and emotions you will never get back. After a couple burns I stick to cold approach, social circle and monk mode.
I dumped a girl because she would call me rather than text me lol
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,823
Reaction score
4,140
"I hope your dad gets better soon. Let me now when things settle down a bit so we can reschedule"
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,610
Like I've said to other members in the past, stop trying to analyze her behavior. First, we will never fully understand it, second, it will not be constructive for you anyway.

Let's give her the benefit of the doubt, and maybe her dad did have a medical emergency. At least she had the decency to tell you and not just ghost you.

Wait for her to take the initiative to reschedule. Just be compassionate and say "Hope he is okay and he recovers" etc, etc. And let her re-engage.

But do continue to pursue your other options. Hopefully, you have them, cause when I hear a guy ask this type of question or seek advice on why a specific girl does something, this tells me she is your only option and hence why you care at all when you shouldn't care at all unless you have already built some solid rapport (after several dates).

Modern Man Advice
 
Last edited:

Stuffnu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
543
Reaction score
746
Age
41
I will need both hands to count the number of times I’ve encountered a girl using “an issue with her dad” to break a date. It’s almost comical, because it’s always the dad.
Must be right out of there rejection playbook.

Now here is the reality..
A better option came her way that she wanted to prioritize over you.
She’s offering to reschedule to keep you as a backup.
Yes, you can respond, ”hope your dad is okay, chat later, blah, blah, blah“, but keep in mind, it was total BS and she wasted your time.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,570
Reaction score
15,686
OP- this is not a flake. There is a counter offer.

This girl gets a mulligan. This is the first meeting, she offered a reschedule, and you haven’t met her yet.

Your response should be:

_____ sorry about your dad. Let’s circle back when things get settled.

Give it at least 7 days of NC then ask her how her father is doing and ask her out again.

Check that ego, OP. You are in the wrong here.
Agreed. She seems desperate to reschedule with OP. Yeah the timing wasn't ideal but this is not lack of interest on her part...something else happened. Maybe her Dad really did have an issue or maybe she was freaked out by getting into a strangers car.

Either way she seems very interested in rescheduling and wants to see you. This could play to your benefit actually especially since you played it cool and didn't freak out on her. This is the type of situation where sex happens sooner rather than later since you raised her attraction level now by the way you responded and how she is having to work to get your attention again.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Because I hate phone calls lol. I don't want to have to drop everything I'm doing to focus on talking on the phone.
Trust me you aren't that busy.
I don't give a damn lol. I'm not going to set aside what I'm doing to randomly talk to you.

@BackInTheGame78 I bet that you run some cool serious game. Not only is Jake_Gyllenhaal69 attempting to qualify himself to you, but you also got him 'claiming' to "not give a damn" yet, his actions are stating the opposite.
If you can have this affect on some random internet sosuave dude, then I have no doubt that you're pulling in all sorts of female tail in the real world.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,570
Reaction score
15,686
@BackInTheGame78 I bet that you run some cool serious game. Not only is Jake_Gyllenhaal69 attempting to qualify himself to you, but you also got him 'claiming' to "not give a damn" yet, his actions are stating the opposite.
If you can have this affect on some random internet sosuave dude, then I have no doubt that you're pulling in all sorts of female tail in the real world.
Haha, I do OK for myself. I just tend to say what's on my mind...I mean seriously, I am a pretty busy person myself and I find time to chat with women on the phone when I feel like it.

I just think it's silly to say you are too busy when you really just mean you don't want to.
 
M

member160292

Guest
@BackInTheGame78 I bet that you run some cool serious game. Not only is Jake_Gyllenhaal69 attempting to qualify himself to you, but you also got him 'claiming' to "not give a damn" yet, his actions are stating the opposite.
If you can have this affect on some random internet sosuave dude, then I have no doubt that you're pulling in all sorts of female tail in the real world.
Don’t stroke his ego too much, he might lay down the ban hammer. Did I AMOG both of you??
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,261
Reaction score
4,762
Age
44
Chatting with a girl on tinder. She seemed canny. Had a good feel about her.

She seemed interested. Always messaging first.

I know actions over words. People might say your making a post about a girl you havent even met. I'm just curious.

She said she was looking forward to meet me and I was actually looking forward to meet her.

We were supposed to meet 45 mins ago. I was picking her up from her house. I asked for her address last night and her phone number. She gave me them both.
Ok...so I was set to pick her up from hers at 6pm. I messaged at 1pm to see if we were still on. She said yeah defo still on.

I messaged her about 5pm to tell her I might be 10 mins late. She said no worries that she might be a bit late too. So it's a 40 min drive to hers. I set off at 17:20. At about 17:50...when I'm ten mins from hers...I hear a text from her saying

Hi Rainman I'm so sorry but can we reschedule my dad's on his way to hospital. I messaged on WhatsApp bur you've not seen it yet and I didn't want you leaving the house without seeing it I'm so sorry but let me know when your next free

So I check whattsapp and see she sent a message at 17:18 saying I'm so sorry to do this but can we reschedule I'm waiting for a ambulance for my dad

I've never had this happen to me. I'm thinking I'll reply and say " hope your father's OK and yeah you can have a drive over my way sometime.
Her dad's on his way to hospital and she wants to reschedule?

It could be bs but you also have to take into account the fact that women occasionally say things that are true.
 
Top