I feel really overshadowed by a good-looking man who started at my university

[corrector]

She goes she gets replaced.

You are entertaining the thought. You know.

 

[corrector]

One thing that I have realised at this point is that there is no point in trying to flirt with any of the girls in my class anymore.
Pretty much all of them are flirting really hard with him, say his name to him in sultry voices, tease him, seek physical contact with him etc, and they always look really thirsty for him.
I have seen a few of the girls sit and gaze at him right before lectures like hypnotized with slightly parted lips, and briefly wet their lips with their tongue, and continued to stare.
I also noticed on one occasion before a lecture that a girl was telling him about some leggings that she had bought and was wearing that day while he was sitting down, and she asked him if she looked good in them and turned around for him, which seemed to me as a way to "entice" him.
And of course, a few girls have said both to him and to their friends that they have a crush on him.
So I believe I will focus on girls that aren't aware of him.

But isnt that how women are like in general because of social media and. OLD. You had an experience where this was in your face in a very nasty way. However, even if you are not in the same room does not mean the root of the problem goes away. Imagine a guy or group of guys like that in OLD? This is why guys complain about no second dates. These are the types that easily get sex on the first date and no BS from women. While other guys are just used for free dinner meals. Just like how you feel in that room is why guys who get overshadowed just quit OLD. It is toxic to the mind.

 

[corrector]

Come on man lol how long have you been on this board?

Have you checked your wife's social media accounts lately?

 

[corrector]

What are you talking about? This is about OPs issue with another guy.

You have not then. The OP is a microcosm of what is going on in society as a whole. Ita just not in your face like him.

 

[zekko]

I ended up finding the perfect solution for me was to go out with guys who were just super fun to be around and who were socially normal, and normal looking, basically.

Now there's a crazy idea, be normal. Surprising how often that can work.

I went out with giga chads and, as I said, all that happens is that you spend the whole night in their shadow, even if your game is 10x better

What's worse is this guy wasn't a giga chad, and really had zero game at the time. But I was really scrawny when I was young, and he was on the football team so I guess he must have had a decent physique.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Stop comparing yourself to him. Focus on being the best version of YOU that you can. And that has nothing to do with him or what he is doing or not doing.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This thread is gay.

 

[corrector]

Stop comparing yourself to him. Focus on being the best version of YOU that you can. And that has nothing to do with him or what he is doing or not doing.

He is not comparing himself. He is invisible to women there. The women are making that comparison. The best version is not good enough if you cant cut it.

 

[corrector]

Ok I understand but OP should understand his own personal confidence is in his own hands. This path for him can lead to some deep depression. He is comparing himself to someone born in another family by another set of parents.

That is how the women, in that class, are treating him. I dont get why everybody is so thick about that. Nobody other than @characternote and myself gets this?

The only hope is some girls get burned by that dude and things start souring in that class and he gets a rape charge or something like that. Things like that usually have a way of going terrible for those guys in the end as all it takes is one crazy b1txh to ruin his life.

 

[corrector]

This thread is gay.

Why do you think so?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He is not comparing himself. He is invisible to women there. The women are making that comparison. The best version is not good enough if you cant cut it.

Basd on what he believes which may or may NOT be reality. In most cases the worst case scenarios people dream up aren't reality.

 

[eli77]

It happens to the best of US.

 

[Atom Smasher]

In my view this man is experiencing a very real thing. You can be king of a group until Mr. Chad shows up, in which case 100% of the women will gravitate to him like iron filings to a magnet, creating a very real void.
It changes everything. The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I think the only solution is to wait it out until the Chadster screws up somehow. Some of these girls will gradually start dropping off his radar and back into the pool of availability. He might reject some which will cause them to hate him and want to hook up with Mr. Second-Best.

I don’t think it’s fair to the OP to blame him for making too big a deal, or that it’s all in his head. I say wait for the “correction” to occur naturally, as these nutcase girls are extremely mercurial. The pendulum will reverse eventually.

I like @zekko ‘s idea of befriending him if possible. That would start to even out the playing field to some degree.

 

[corrector]

In my view this man is experiencing a very real thing. You can be king of a group until Mr. Chad shows up, in which case 100% of the women will gravitate to him like iron filings to a magnet, creating a very real void.
It changes everything. The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.

I'm surprised that only few people are getting this on this thread. For someone of your caliber to have to spoon-feed people on this and validate what others have been trying to say is really sad. This thing is very real.

Befriending someone like that? @characternote tried that and said it doesn't work because he was just overshadowed and was like he wasn't there when he was next to him as a wingman. I respect @characternote contribution because he comes from the place of hard work and cold-approaching, even through he's sub-5 and still pulling through at the end of the day. He should be an inspiration to us all.

 

[corrector]

When this happens just find a new circle. New girls. Its the same thing throughout life. Suck it up and move on. But its good yes that SS is here for him. That part is good.
If it were me I would befriend the dude.
In my teen years I ran with 1 particular natural who always had a hoard of chics behind him. I capitalized on that.
At the time i did not understand. But even the dogs eat the crumbs from their masters table.

This is his school/class not a social circle. Its rubs the wrong way and can be a distraction to his education. But you are right he needs counselling and mentorship if this starts affecting his grades. He better not be underperforming in these course because of that drama.

I got screwed in University in the late 90s because my headspace was in the wrong place. Not as extreme as OP but more of the suffering in silence issues of crushing over the wrong girls and making poor course decisions, etc...

 

[Michael2000]

The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I think the only solution is to wait it out until the Chadster screws up somehow. Some of these girls will gradually start dropping off his radar and back into the pool of availability. He might reject some which will cause them to hate him and want to hook up with Mr. Second-Best.

I think one thing that makes me uncomfortable about these girls' behaviour is that it makes me feel that they view this man as "better", and that he is worth a lot more in their eyes.
Maybe a bit silly, but it feels that way.

 

[Zimbabwe]

And is this "chad" in the room with us right now?

 

[gwoppin]

Get your head a flight out of Mogistan.

Use him as a measure of your game, and its probably better to have him on your side rather than against you. Be his buddy?

 

[mikedee]

I would just accept that he is the one getting the girls and approach other girls outside the university. I wouldn't befriend him for the sake of being around girls, I would be friendly, cool but neutral with him unless you have similar interests and that you think he would make a good friend, chad or not chad. I would focus on my ability to cold approach. You're not getting any skill trying to get laid with the girls in your class, it's social circle game. Not the best idea to try to get laid with the girls of your class.. my opinion

I 100% understand how you fell. Do your things, focus on you.

 

[Michael2000]

I would just accept that he is the one getting the girls and approach other girls outside the university. I wouldn't befriend him for the sake of being around girls, I would be friendly, cool but neutral with him unless you have similar interests and that you think he would make a good friend, chad or not chad. I would focus on my ability to cold approach. You're not getting any skill trying to get laid with the girls in your class, it's social circle game. Not the best idea to try to get laid with the girls of your class.. my opinion

I 100% understand how you fell. Do your things, focus on you.

Yes, I am not trying to make contact with the girls in my class;
I know girls in other places, and I have dated a few of them in the past, so I focus more on those girls.

I have noticed that the girls in my class seem to use various tricks to "tempt" him;
for example, one time when he sat down somewhere with some girls one of the girls stood up in front of him and asked him if she looked good in some leggings that I think she had bought, and turned around for him while he had a look, and on another occasion right before a lecture there was another girl who sat next to him and had a conversation with him, and she was apparently showing him some birth marks that were on her breasts (she had a low-cut top that time) and said something about them while smiling a lot about it.
Imight be imagining things, but I got the impression that they were doing these things specifically to make him feel comfortable with looking at their bodies - who knows.