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Help me overanalyze something...

BPH

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This has the potential to be kind of long because I like details and I think the details matter. I had a lot of fun on my Thursday night out but now I'm thinking I might've messed up so I want to see if any of you can help me figure out where, how badly, and how to fix it.

So I'm out at a college bar with some friends with an hour left before closing and a girl on the way to meet me there. While waiting this gorgeous blonde and her friend started walking past me, so I stop her, introduce myself, and she immediately sits down to talk with me. I got the feeling this was going to be easy; she didn't care where her friend went and immediately forgot about her, started talking to me and asking me small talk questions about myself, and was just looking at my wide-eyed smiling the whole time. She finds out that I'm 28 years old and thinks it's really hot that I'm older. Not too long after meeting her I go in for the kiss and she's all about it...and suggests that we leave, which I'm super down for. She puts her number into my phone and calls it multiple times so she has mine too. She asks where I live and if I live at home, so I admit that I do unfortunately and she invites me to come back to her place.

She walks past her friend and tells her she's leaving and while waiting for the Uber we talk over to the side bar and have a shot while we wait and kiss a little more. The bartender is a gay friend of hers and she whispers a little too loud to him saying "oh my god he's so hot right?" and the friend is just laughing, smiling saying "yeah, he's cute". While waiting another one of her friends comes up and I recognize her because I had hit on her a few weeks prior - she was interested but after 2 weeks when I hit her up to hang out she just left me on Read so I forgot about her.

Anyway, Uber pulls up, I leave, completely forget about the other girl that was going to come meet me and we start heading to her spot. In the Uber she's talking about how she's going to rock my world and that it'll be one the best nights ever for me and stuff.

She lives with a bunch of other girls in her sorority in a 3-story house near campus, on the top floor. So we go up, toss something on the TV in her room, and get down to business. She takes her birth control, we smash twice and after the 2nd time her friend I'd hit on that I mentioned earlier comes storming into the room to complain about some stupid stuff how her ex is mad at her for talking to other guys at the bar while he's talking to other girls...you know the kinda stupid stuff...this friend is also in her sorority, is her best friend, and lives next-door to her up on the same floor. I'm sure she recognizes me but she doesn't make it weird, awkward, or attempt to block what's happening in any way, so maybe she doesn't care...furthermore maybe the ex situation is why she ghosted me.

We end up hooking up one more time that night. Every time she's talking about how hot I am and about how she wants to see me more after this. I find out she and her roommate friend both go to the same gym as myself, albeit at different times, and mentions how she wants me to train her and I can just come over afterward and plow her brains out.

Then we just kinda have a half-drunk conversation about life after college and stuff that concerns her about graduation etc. I don't know much about astrology but apparently we have the same sign, so I don't know if that's a good thing since I know how girls care about that sh**. She keeps talking about how hot I am and that stuff like this doesn't happen; guys always want to date her and she thinks she has commitment issues and doesn't believe some random hot guy would be out at the bar, isn't weird, super hot, and comes off like a normal person. I find out that she hasn't had sex in 2 months until what she did here tonight with me. This goes on for a little bit until we both pass out.

It's worth mentioning that she was cuddling with me the entire time.

Anyway morning comes around and she has a class and work later. She tunes into her class over Zoom for a little bit until we start hooking up again where she shuts it off and turns her attention to me. We take a nap for a little bit until she has to get ready for work soonish. We smash one more time, I make her c** and then we get ready to part ways. She offers to drive me back to where I parked my car, I tell her I'm fine with walking, then she brings me downstairs, makes sure I have her number, gives me a kiss, and I leave.

Despite how drunk we were the night before, I thought the morning was pretty good...it wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird, we cuddled, and she was still down to hook up. So I think that's why I'm surprised at how things have gone SINCE then.

A few hours later I text her saying "have fun at work ;)" and later that night I find her on Instagram, follow her, and like one of her stories.

It is now Sunday night and nothing has happened since then, and I'm not completely sure why. Friday night I went somewhere else, but Saturday night I went to the same bar. She wasn't there, but neither was anybody else I thought was cute, so I ended up chatting with some of the staff and with the gay bartender friends. Asked him a little of what she's like, talk about the manager who we're both friends with, buy the guy some shots, tip him well, made a good impression I'm thinking.

Aside from that, she hasn't followed me back and hasn't texted me. Considering everything above...about how hot I was and how she wants to see me more and plowing her after the gym etc I was a bit surprised. Now there's a good chance I'm overthinking all this, but I'm trying to come to conclusions on what I may be doing wrong, so here are my current "theories":

1. The roommate might've told her that I had hit on her a few weeks prior
2. The girl remembers that I live at home and finds that unattractive
3. The girl remembers that I'm older and despite saying she finds that attractive, might think it's weird I'm at a college bar meeting girls
4. The text and follow was a sign of too much interest (I thought I was just showing her SOME interest to invite her to hit me back up)
5. She's regretting her decision, but I feel this is least likely because the morning was fine and she introduced me to her housemate on the way out

I know this was a long read but if anybody has some insight to offer so I can tighten up what I may be doing wrong here, I'd appreciate it. I don't know how to say this politely because I understand on forums you don't know who's on the other side of the keyboard and I'm well aware that many of the guys on here are "in-development" in a sense. If possible, I think the best advice would come from other guys who also sleep around a lot with attractive women and can draw from personal experience, rather than hypothesizing based on something they've read in The Game.

Either way, thanks for following along with me tonight.

EDIT: Also, unless somebody recommends otherwise, my current "plan" is just to not do anymore outreach or looking at her Instagram etc until she reaches out to me.
 

StacksHitEmUp

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I think you went all in too quick with the text and the follow etc. Should’ve waited a day or two. She should’ve been the one thinking about this, not you.
 

Dr.Suave

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Why would you want to overanalyze this? You got a same night lay, you won. If she ghosts, that´s her loss.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Sometimes what they want is to simply get laid and maybe forget about what's going on in her life right now. Maybe she was stressed out over school, had a bad fight with her sorority members, had a bad fight with her boyfriend, found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and wanted revenge, etc...

There are a ton of reasons why she might have only wanted a ONS and to blow off some steam and have some stress relief.

Even from the story it seems obvious...she made it TOO easy for you. She was out wanting to get fvcked that night and she chose you. Be proud of yourself, you must have it in the looks department.

I'd just chalk it up to the game bro...just because a woman selects you for that night doesn't mean she is selecting you for anything more than that.

I'd shoot her one more text and just say something along the lines of "Hey, you seem like you have a lot going on. I'd like to get to know you better but don't want to add any stress to your life. When things change I'd love to hear from you."

And just leave it at that...you've acknowledged she probably has a lot going on, haven't been pushy or needy, shown your interest in making this something other than a ONS and left the door open. You can only do but so much...then you simply leave the ball in her court and if she reaches out at some point great...if she doesn't then that's OK too. Just keep it moving and date other women...based on hot chicks wanting to bang you when you go out I don't think it should be that hard.
 

BPH

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Why would you want to overanalyze this? You got a same night lay, you won. If she ghosts, that´s her loss.
True, but I basically lost my other girl because I ghosted her when she showed up so I could leave with this one. That lay was a month ago and before I met her it had been about another month back when I was still with my ex. So I'd like to have something consistent for a little bit if possible.

I'd shoot her one more text and just say something along the lines of "Hey, you seem like you have a lot going on. I'd like to get to know you better but don't want to add any stress to your life. When things change I'd love to hear from you."
I'll probably end up doing a less-heavy version of that later today unless some people chime in and think that's a bad idea.

For the reasons I mentioned above to Dr.Suave I'm definitely happy it happened, I'd just like to keep it going since she was telling me she has commitment issues and I'm not looking for anything serious either. As far as meeting other girls out at bars, it's usually a little more difficult than this - both because I would say I have pretty high standards and then she has to like me back, so having something regular would be nice.
 

BackInTheGame78

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True, but I basically lost my other girl because I ghosted her when she showed up so I could leave with this one. That lay was a month ago and before I met her it had been about another month back when I was still with my ex. So I'd like to have something consistent for a little bit if possible.



I'll probably end up doing a less-heavy version of that later today unless some people chime in and think that's a bad idea.

For the reasons I mentioned above to Dr.Suave I'm definitely happy it happened, I'd just like to keep it going since she was telling me she has commitment issues and I'm not looking for anything serious either. As far as meeting other girls out at bars, it's usually a little more difficult than this - both because I would say I have pretty high standards and then she has to like me back, so having something regular would be nice.
Yes...which is why I said it seems obvious she was looking for a ONS and you happened to be the guy she chose.
 

StacksHitEmUp

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I’d advise against the text BackInTheGame wants to send, it seems a little too much too soon. Just leave her alone for a week or two and then maybe reach out again. Instill in her mind she’s not important in your life which she shouldn’t be. Be cool and collected nothing can faze you. Hold off on the texting, give it a week or two. She might reach out.
 
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I’d advise against the text BackInTheGame wants to send, it seems a little too much too soon. Just leave her alone for a week or two and then maybe reach out again. Instill in her mind she’s not important in your life which she shouldn’t be. Be cool and collected nothing can faze you. Hold off on the texting, give it a week or two. She might reach out.
Agreed here. The first half of BackInTheGame's post was spot on, but the text part threw me off.
This is the definition of a ONS, BPH. You both had fun and it's time to move on.
 

Bokanovsky

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Think that was enough to put the nail in the coffin considering how well the night went?
I doubt it. There are many possibilities but the biggest hint is that she told you that she was not looking for a relationship. Given the circumstances surrounding your acquaintance and how easy it was, chances are she's not responding to your text because she's busy getting plowed by some other guy she met at a different bar the following day.
 

BPH

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I doubt it. There are many possibilities but the biggest hint is that she told you that she was not looking for a relationship. Given the circumstances surrounding your acquaintance and how easy it was, chances are she's not responding to your text because she's busy getting plowed by some other guy she met at a different bar the following day.
I can understand the pessimism, I myself am that way, but considering she told me it's been 2 months without sex I doubt she's jumping on multiple guys in the same weekend where she lives in a house of sorority girls to judge her.

Either way, I'll wait ~2 weeks and see what happens if she reaches out to me, and go from there.

There's a chance I'll see her out at the bar over the next few weekends if I end up frequenting the same spot, and that's the only thing I'm not sure how I'd want to handle.
 

Bokanovsky

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I'd shoot her one more text and just say something along the lines of "Hey, you seem like you have a lot going on. I'd like to get to know you better but don't want to add any stress to your life. When things change I'd love to hear from you."
Don't take it as a personal criticism but this is a very awkward text. This sounds like something you would write to the head of HR at a company you hope to work for one day...Not something you write to a 20-year-old airhead you smashed two hours after meeting her at a bar. Business-like language should have no place in your text game.
 

Bokanovsky

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I can understand the pessimism, I myself am that way, but considering she told me it's been 2 months without sex I doubt she's jumping on multiple guys in the same weekend where she lives in a house of sorority girls to judge her.
One thing you learn as you get older is to pay little attention to what women say.
 

BPH

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One thing you learn as you get older is to pay little attention to what women say.
I'm aware. That's why I'm also judging her by the fact that things weren't awkward in the morning, smashed a couple more times, introduced me to her roommates that night/on the way out, and made sure I had her phone number before sending me off.
 

Bokanovsky

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I'm aware. That's why I'm also judging her by the fact that things weren't awkward in the morning, smashed a couple more times, introduced me to her roommates that night/on the way out, and made sure I had her phone number before sending me off.
As men, we always strive to obtain a logical explanation. I get it. But sometimes you can't get a logical explanation because you don't have complete data. The sooner you accept that fact, the happier you will be.

There is no point in trying to understand what happened. There are no obvious mistakes that you've made. Adding her on instagram and sending a message is nothing. You have to be insane to believe that something like that would kill an otherwise high level of attraction. There could be a thousand different possibilities that you didn't even consider. Like maybe she's BPD and enjoys leading guys on and faking a high level of interest. Or maybe she lost her phone...or got kidnapped. Or maybe she met Leonardo Di Caprio the following day. Any conclusion based on incomplete data will likely be incorrect.
 
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member160292

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One thing you learn as you get older is to pay little attention to what women say.
I'd take that with some consideration. In OP's case, this was just a ONS and nothing more.
Your best bet, @BPH, is to go on with your life and if she comes around, she will. No need to plan your next move.
 
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