How do I even get started with dating at 29?

[needimprovement250]

Hey guys, I thought that I would make a fresh thread since I’m officially 29 now and I definitely need to make a change this year before I turn 30 and feel even worse. I plan on starting with OLD and yes I know it can really suck and you have to put up with a lot of BS to have even a shred of success on there. But I honestly feel like that’s my best option to get started because I’ve only ever been on one date (lost my virginity on that date) and that was 7 years ago. I get the feeling that first date I go on is probably gonna be pretty awkward and won’t go well since I haven’t been on a date in so long and its only my second date ever. That’s why OLD is preferable because assuming it goes bad, I just never have to see her again. I noticed that a lot of you here have said not to waste your time with Tinder, so would Bumble or Hinge be a better place for me to start?





Also, I’m currently a neet (no employment education or training) and live at home with my parents so I’m not gonna be actively going out on dates until I get either work or school started for myself because I feel like one of the most common first date questions asked is what you do for work and it would be pretty embarrassing to tell a girl that I’m unemployed and still living at home at 29. What I was thinking is that it might be a good idea for me to pursue education and work a couple days a week, that way maybe it would come off as more plausible as to why I’m still living at home because I’m going to school and trying to start a more lucrative career? And if you’re wondering why I’m in this career situation at 29, its because I made the stupid mistake or working a series of dead end jobs that had no chance of becoming a career, but I realized the error of my ways and want to launch a career.



I also need help getting rid of the mindset that no girl will want anything to do with me because of the fact that I’m 29 and have no experience with relationships, dating, or sex. I keep getting the feeling that I’m instantly gonna be written off by everyone and rejected at every turn because of my inexperience, I just can’t change my mindset. As for spending the night together, my dad is now retired and he’s literally at home all day every day of the week, so going home with me isn’t really an option. I could always go back to her place, but do you think a girl would be ok with me getting us a room when we don’t go to her place since we can’t go to mine?



I also should mention that my texting game is horrible and that I’ll probably just use OLD to practice that while I’m figuring out work/school. One last thing is what kind of pics should I have on my OLD profile? Someone on another thread mentioned one pic with a girl and one with a dog, but I don’t know any girls so the first option is out. My sister has a dog, so I can always take a pic with her dog, other than that I don’t know what pics to upload.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The same way you start anything else. One step at a time. Crawl before you walk, walk before you jog, jog before you run.

 

[corrector]

Try on Wheat Waffles youtube channel for some good tips.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

The same way you start anything else. One step at a time. Crawl before you walk, walk before you jog, jog before you run.

+1

At 29, I would recommend you get a guru, and you learn cold approach. Sure, use OLD but as a fallback rather than your main resources for getting girls.

Obviously, vet your guru's. There's far too many boomers, house husband's, and anti seductive fraudin shills. If no receipts, if no infield, if not going out, DID NOT HAPPEN. Sounds made up.

Most fellas 30+ are any seductive anti game. If you got the resources to actually level up, why fumble around and piss away more time? Most lads are rekt before 40. The alternative to your average 30 something isn't "cool" nor smooth.

Lastly, reinvent yourself. Be breaking rapport. Try something new. Enter new environments. Shake things up. Also make new friends. Majority of your mates are married, playing house, and simply not getting girls. You want to escape the mundanity of everyday life. Not boomer pods. Not slacks and your shirt tucked into your pants. You want an edge. You want to break out of the **** **** mainstream culture is attempting to domesticate you.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Get your shvt together

 

[VirtuousD]

I also need help getting rid of the mindset that no girl will want anything to do with me because of the fact that I’m 29 and have no experience with relationships, dating, or sex.

They don't need to know that.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If you're white and in the US, practice on Latinas. Just don't get bogged down in an LTR or get anyone preggo.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You shouldn’t be dating until your career gets rolling. Figure that out first. A man needs stable income and his own place at bare minimum before even considering dating.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

If you're white and in the US, practice on Latinas. Just don't get bogged down in an LTR or get anyone preggo.

dude he's screwed then lol

 

[SW15]

Get your shvt together

That's the best advice. The thread below is relevant.

Most guys getting into pickup need to get their $hit together.

Maybe I am partially agreeing with @Fruitbat here (but not completely) and @nicksaiz65 and his question inspired this thread I almost didn't want to post. On the other hand, I feel like this had to be posted even if it might not apply to most guys on here. I have been doing pickup on and off for...

www.sosuave.net

 

[MatureDJ]

It's OVER for 30YearOldNEETCels.

 

[needimprovement250]

+1

At 29, I would recommend you get a guru, and you learn cold approach. Sure, use OLD but as a fallback rather than your main resources for getting girls.

Obviously, vet your guru's. There's far too many boomers, house husband's, and anti seductive fraudin shills. If no receipts, if no infield, if not going out, DID NOT HAPPEN. Sounds made up.

Most fellas 30+ are any seductive anti game. If you got the resources to actually level up, why fumble around and piss away more time? Most lads are rekt before 40. The alternative to your average 30 something isn't "cool" nor smooth.

Lastly, reinvent yourself. Be breaking rapport. Try something new. Enter new environments. Shake things up. Also make new friends. Majority of your mates are married, playing house, and simply not getting girls. You want to escape the mundanity of everyday life. Not boomer pods. Not slacks and your shirt tucked into your pants. You want an edge. You want to break out of the **** **** mainstream culture is attempting to domesticate you.

Well there is a dating coach that I’ve been interested in giving a try for awhile who does his sessions via phone call or FaceTime and he does a 1 hour session for free to new people in order to see if its helpful to them or not, do you think I should give that free 1 hour session a try and see how it goes?

 

[needimprovement250]

They don't need to know that.

My biggest fear regarding that is if they ask about my past relationships and dating history in a conversation. I obviously wouldn’t bring it up or volunteer that info about myself, but what if they ask? Another user on here said awhile ago to just play it off in a witty way and then change the subject without revealing much about it, but would that work?

 

[lgbs2004]

but what if they ask?

Lie

 

[needimprovement250]

If you're white and in the US, practice on Latinas. Just don't get bogged down in an LTR or get anyone preggo.

I made a thread on here about a month ago to gather advice for an incel YouTuber named Marshall Mathers the 4th and I remember that a couple users said that if you’re white and living in the US, there’s no reason to be a sexless incel because its like playing the game with cheat codes since latinas and Asian girls like white guys so much. I’m not sure if you were one of the users who said that, but I am also white and living in the US and I do like Latinas and Asian girls (actually lost my virginity to an an Asian girl) so do you think I’lol be more successful if those are the type of girls I am for?

 

[needimprovement250]

It's OVER for 30YearOldNEETCels.

So that’s it then? I’m just destined to be a lonely and sexless failure and in your opinion, nothing I do will ever change that no matter what?

 

[needimprovement250]

Lie

Like make up a fake relationship history and make sure family and friends will back that up too?

 

[needimprovement250]

You shouldn’t be dating until your career gets rolling. Figure that out first. A man needs stable income and his own place at bare minimum before even considering dating.

But I don’t want to start dating after I officially enter my 30’s because I’ll feel like too much of a loser at that point for not getting any until I’m in my 30’s. I’ve said to myself for awhile now that if I enter my 30’s in the same situation I’m in now, I’m just gonna fu*k escorts for the rest of my life and will just completely give up on dating. You mean to say that even if I’m both working and going to school for a career, girls will still have no interest in me because I’m not actually settled in a career at 29 and don’t have my own place? I almost wanna call BS on that because I’ve known guys who were literally living out of motel rooms or their cars who were still pulling girls on the weekends.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Women are a distraction and at this chapter of your life, they will only make it worse.

So I wouldn't until you have your own life together and you are happy being by yourself aka enjoy your own company and truly love yourself. If you don't have that, you are in for toxic relationship after toxic relationship and a life full of "I will be happy when ______".

Now you can casually date and just enjoy yourself. That's a different conversation. In that case, like @BackInTheGame78 said: You simply have to put yourself out there. Take that initial step and progress accordingly. Only one way to find out if anything will work out, or if it's your thing or not, etc, etc, just take that leap and enjoy the ups and down (there will be both).

One thing that I will recommend, that like everything I recommend here I do myself, is to not have any expectations or label anything. Just be. Don't get caught up in what can or will happen. Be present and focus on enjoying yourself and growing along the way.

Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

 

[needimprovement250]

Women are a distraction and at this chapter of your life, they will only make it worse.

So I wouldn't until you have your own life together and you are happy being by yourself aka enjoy your own company and truly love yourself. If you don't have that, you are in for toxic relationship after toxic relationship and a life full of "I will be happy when ______".

Now you can casually date and just enjoy yourself. That's a different conversation. In that case, like @BackInTheGame78 said: You simply have to put yourself out there. Take that initial step and progress accordingly. Only one way to find out if anything will work out, or if it's your thing or not, etc, etc, just take that leap and enjoy the ups and down (there will be both).

One thing that I will recommend, that like everything I recommend here I do myself, is to not have any expectations or label anything. Just be. Don't get caught up in what can or will happen. Be present and focus on enjoying yourself and growing along the way.

Cheers,
Modern Man Advice

Thanks @Modern Man Advice this is probably the best advice that has been given to me on this thread, just joined your follower list on here also. I just feel really bad and discouraged by the fact that I’ve never dated when I’m nearly 30 and I can’t help but feel like its too late for me at this point. It also didn’t help that someone on here said that its over for a 30 year old NEET and someone else said that you need to be in a career with your own place to even get started with dating because I’m pretty far from that point right now. I’m totally fine with just casually dating because that’s a great way for me to get experience and if I’m able to get a FWB or something along the way, a relationship can wait, or maybe it turns into one, who knows.