You cannot negotiate Desire. I told her, whatever her response to my desire was, I do what I have to do.

[reality250]

Dear folks,

I love the energy and the helpfulness in this forum

Very quick information about my marriage:
Duration: 10 years, one kid.

My wife is considered as my LIFEPARTNER, because we have good chemistry also have sex every day. The reason why we are still married is my son and the because it's functioning well, so why not. But since I have this inner desire of mine, to be good at GAME, which I also do a lot, and she knows.. as I'm building up my social skills day to day, I met some good-looking Chicks, 22 years old, 35 year old etc... and I also pulled to my place about three times (not recently).

My main frame here is: Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them.
And I operate within this frame.

But in general, no one every asked about my relationship. I just talked and talked and teased, made assumptions etc.

But sometimes, when the interaction goes deeper, I get questions like:

"do you live alone?" "Are you single?" "How old are you, do you have a girlfriend?"

Mostly I answer this kinda questions with "I am taken" and I change the topic. that's it.


My wife once "said" she is not interested in having sex with other people and of course I dont take it as it is... since when the day is long enough women say things belong these lines ... also when I game I realized I always get this from any girl : "You know we are not gonna have sex tonight" but I just past the these tests whith: Of course not we are gonna meditate or We will just drink tea and go to the church. ...

I also did some fantasies where she (my wife) masturbated to a fantasy I was making out in my head: "Yeah, and imagine you are on me right now, and another guy cames in opens the door and licks your titties etc... and she was okay with that.

Like SW15 said: "you need to fix the parameters of your "open relationship" before concerning yourself with disclosing your open relationship to women."
What exactly is missing here?

We agreed I also have sex with her, she is priority and then other women .. but she does not want me to pull at home when she is there and my kid as well. Which is understandable (we live together

@SW15 thank you for the links about : Transactional vs. Validational Sex & The Desire Dynamic... this really helped me to understand the dynamic.


She agreed to meet other people outside and if they are okay, we can be friends... but how can I initially get the right woman?

Should I still do what I did (Cold approach) and meet the right person (bisexual) to introduce her to my wife and see how things will go?

And after one girl likes me, I can go further with her.. This is my plan for right now.

I just want to step into my vision and get what I want. Don't get me wrong, guys.

My question: Should I still hide that I am married? I think I get confused and have the feeling it's not okay. Because what when I am out with my son or family and this girl sees me there? She will maybe get crazy ? And I really don't need this in my life.


Please reply if you have been in a similar situation as well--- or know how to handle this situation... thank you guys...

 

[manfrombelow]

What the fucck is your point, OP? I don't get what you're saying at all.

And, more importantly, next time you bang a plate, find a motel. I always find the idea of bringing plates to your place where you're sharing it with your LTR is somewhat too sleazy and disrespectful to your LTR, not to mention the risk of getting caught right in the fuccking act.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My eyes are bleeding…

 

[Plinco]

Be aware that your wife can use this against you in the future if she knows about it. I think you need to go into the psychological reasons for wanting to spin plates if it is for any other reason than just for being insatiable.

 

[RangerMIke]

What the fucck is your point, OP? I don't get what you're saying at all.

And, more importantly, next time you bang a plate, find a motel. I always find the idea of bringing plates to your place where you're sharing it with your LTR is somewhat too sleazy and disrespectful to your LTR, not to mention the risk of getting caught right in the fuccking act.

If you are in an open marriage, great... no judgment here, but out of respect for your wife, I wouldn't bring these women to your house. Having said that, if your wife doesn't care, and you don't mind if she brings dudes into your house, then I guess it's not a problem.

But you should think about how this is impacting your kid.

 

[SW15]

you should think about how this is impacting your kid.

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

This article mentions the viability of relational scenarios upon raising children.

there was another thread running for awhile about the same thing - open marriage and guy and his wife agreed to not take his plates home out of respect, and another poster took issue with that saying it's his home, his castle, he pays the mortgage and he should be able to bring plates home.

The OP of that thread is the same OP as this thread. I was the poster in that thread that took issue. Sex is as important a reason for obtaining an indoor dwelling as access to plumbing, HVAC, and kitchen appliances.

 

[manfrombelow]

100% agree.

However there was another thread running for awhile about the same thing - open marriage and guy and his wife agreed to not take his plates home out of respect, and another poster took issue with that saying it's his home, his castle, he pays the mortgage and he should be able to bring plates home.

Just goes to show there's no one size fits all re open relationships.

Imo as long as both parties agree on the terms, anything goes.

A relationship where both parties openly fucck other people is NO LONGER A FUCCKING RELATIONSHIP. You crazy liberal Westerners keep re-defining established concepts which is stupid. I used to look up to the Western world very much. Now? Not as much.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Man- I think men should be able to fvck ocasionally but my god man do not bring it anywhere near your home, wife, or children. That is too disrespectful. If you do your dirt locally it will follow you home. Leave this for a business trip in Vegas or something.

Also examine why you even want to do this. There are few women out there that are worth anything more than 10 minutes of dvck.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You have no respect for your wife, if she divorces you, it is well deserved.

Hopefully she has some respect for herself at some point and leaves your ass.

And there is a kid involved too? And you are bringing these women to your home where both of them are? A home is supposed to be a safe place away from the craziness of the world, NOT a place where your husband and "father" brings random chicks to bang.

This is utterly disgraceful OP. You should be ashamed of yourself. Straight from the gutter.

Please don't respond as to why you think this behavior is OK, there is no valid reason.

 

[manfrombelow]

Man- I think men should be able to fvck ocasionally but my god man do not bring it anywhere near your home, wife, or children. That is too disrespectful. If you do your dirt locally it will follow you home. Leave this for a business trip in Vegas or something.

Also examine why you even want to do this. There are few women out there that are worth anything more than 10 minutes of dvck.

How is a grown man facing his children after they've found out he's brought plates to their home to fucck?

Yes he can use the old excuses of "But me and mommy no longer in love so I need to fucck others" but can't he just do it at a motel or somewhere else? Why does it have to be their home?

Fuccking crazy Westerners and your crazy ideas of what a relationship is.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How is a grown man facing his children after they've found out he's brought plates to their home to fucck?

I don’t know man. That’s wild.

 

[manfrombelow]

Oh I agree, I'd never accept that arrangement but I know couples who do and they're happy, so who am I to judge?

To each their own as they say.

You're free to judge crazy people and their crazy ideas. Humans are meant to judge. Thanks to all kinds of judgments that we are able to evolve this far as a civilization.

It's because you people stop judging as if it's a bad thing that led your entire Western society to its decay of today.

Look at this picture from this article:

This creature has 11000 piercings on her body.

It's not normal. So I judge her as a crazy person who has severe mental problems that needs to be treated, not getting married. And I will never allow my children near this kind of person. It's just fuccking common sense.

 

[manfrombelow]

My dad was unfaithful but my mom knew and she accepted it to keep the family in tact.

And also for appearances; I was raised in an upper middle class area of NY and divorce was a huge stigma.

He never brought the women home to fvck, but I always knew what was happening.

Some were even friends with my mom and wouid come to our home with their husband's.

It was completely fvcked but the norm pretty much.

It messed with my head for a very long time but I made peace with my dad and we became very close.

They eventually divorced and he married a woman he was having an affair with. She told me she gave him an ultimatum and he really loved her so he divorced my mum and married her.

She became the love of his life until he passed after a bad freak accident, may he RIP.

That said, he was a good father, he was always there for me and my brothers and I don't think he realized I knew.

But kids always know no matter how hard you try to hide it.

Thanks for the share. Kids are not stupid.

The wrong notion that "kids are ignorant of surrounding stuff" is just too wrong and could fucck your children up for life.

 

[SW15]

My dad was unfaithful but my mom knew and she accepted it to keep the family in tact.

And also for appearances; I was raised in an upper middle class area of NY and divorce was a huge stigma.

I don't understand how this is possible. I thought you were a Millennial. Even if you are an early Millennial, your childhood was in the 1990s/early 2000s. Divorce was de-stigmatized by then as no fault divorce started around 1970 in most cases. Divorce had lost most of its stigma by 1990.

Keeping the family together sounds so 1950s-1960s.

He never brought the women home to fvck, but I always knew what was happening.

Some were even friends with my mom and wouid come to our home with their husband's.

That is wild.

But kids always know no matter how hard you try to hide it.

I knew from age 5 or so that my parents had a poor relational dynamic. They didn't divorce until I was 15. To this day, I haven't met 2 more ill fitting people who put together a longer relationship.

 

[manfrombelow]

Interesting take, I will need to absorb it a bit.

I've always struggled with understanding the difference between an opinion and judgment.

Of course I have an opinion, but I always viewed judgments as imposing my own opinion and how I choose to live my life on others, which I don't think is right.

But yea, couples who agree to fvck others I have VERY strong opinion about.

Cheating I have a very strong opinion about.

Mutilating one's body I have a very strong opinion about.

Opinions in most cases are already judgments, in one way or another. And it's totally normal. It's life.

Don't let the crazy leftards of modern Western society stop you from having your own opinions/judgments.

Oh, I almost forgot. It takes two for a tango. The guy that agreed to marry that mentally-illed person that has 11000 piercings is also a crazy guy. And I'd stay the fucck away from both of them.

 

[reality250]

My dad was unfaithful but my mom knew and she accepted it to keep the family in tact.

And also for appearances; I was raised in an upper middle class area of NY and divorce was a huge stigma.

He never brought the women home to fvck, but I always knew what was happening.

Some were even friends with my mom and wouid come to our home with their husbands.

It was completely fvcked but the norm pretty much.

It messed with my head for a very long time but I made peace with my dad and we became very close.

They eventually divorced and he married a woman he was having an affair with. She told me she gave him an ultimatum and he really loved her so he divorced my mum and married her.

She became the love of his life until he passed after a bad freak accident, may he RIP.

That said, he was a good father, he was always there for me and my brothers and I don't think he realized I knew.

But kids always know no matter how hard you try to hide it.

Thank you Soo much for your sharing. This makes me think about my own life and i truly learned from this.

İ will definitely rethink and will do whatever is best for my family and myself.

İ know people are gonna judge me anyways .. but that's okay.

@SW15 thanks for the sharing again....hope this topic will be closed soon.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I don’t know man. That’s wild.

How is that any more “wild” than a grown man fvcking other men and then going to a parade to express how proud he is of himself? Or a man amputating his pen!s and pretending to be a woman? Welcome to the post-modern world.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How is that any more “wild” than a grown man fvcking other men and then going to a parade to express how proud he is of himself? Or a man amputating his pen!s and pretending to be a woman? Welcome to the post-modern world.

What does any of this have to do with OP’s topic?

 

[devilkingx2]

A relationship where both parties openly fucck other people is NO LONGER A FUCCKING RELATIONSHIP. You crazy liberal Westerners keep re-defining established concepts which is stupid. I used to look up to the Western world very much. Now? Not as much.

I think a relationship where both sides have side pieces can still be a relationship. Like if you have a wife and you live together and share finances and have sex in the weekdays;

but then on weekends you both go out with your side pieces of the month;

That would clearly show a difference between the wife/husband and the side piece enough where I can see how it makes sense to call that a relationship that's open.

 

[MatureDJ]

I smell a TROLL.