Open relationship since we have a kid together, but should I tell this to others?

[reality250]

Hi there,

I really have a kid who will turn 7 very soon, and my partner, who will turn 39 very soon, agreed for me to game and build up my social skills.

But we agreed I also have sex with her, and will spend 70% with her & my kid. She also does not want me to pull at home when she is there (we live together)..

I am okay with this so far ...and my game is getting better & better these days, I enjoy it and I also go out more these days.. from what I have realized, when we get closer or when I go to an instant date with other females, they always asked after me talking about what I do for living, if I live alone, and I tell (honesty & integrity) everyone that I have a kid, and I also have my kinda family on my instagram etc...

But I realized when I talk very honest about this with younger girls, they don't accept it, or it gets them turned off. But with mature 28+ they accept it rather and ask me if she also goes out with other guys, and I say sometimes.

My question: Should I hide or not mentioned it to the younger girls like 19,22,24 etc ? Maybe I am not okay with that?

I don't know what is in my subconscious, but maybe I have to build more confidence about that.

Any ideas would be helpful, thank you guys...

 

[SW15]

Your arrangement is unacceptable to me. It is unacceptable not to be able to have sex in your home. Your name is on the rental lease or the purchase contract. Being able to have sex indoors is a housing feature that is as importance as having access to HVAC, indoor plumbing, and kitchen appliances.

I can't imagine that any woman in a open relationship would agree not to have sex in her place of residence when her name is on the lease or purchase contract.

I think you need to fix the parameters of your "open relationship" before concerning yourself with disclosing your open relationship to women. Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them.

The Iron Rules of Tomassi

One of the most influential books in my life has been The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It’s a book I wish every man could read, and I…

medium.com

Iron Rule 1: Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

You are having multiple issues surrounding your frame.

 

[reality250]

I think you need to fix the parameters of your "open relationship" before concerning yourself with disclosing your open relationship to women. Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them.

Thank you so much, I got it. This frame is very important.. "Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them."

You are genius, thank you soo much.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thank you so much, I got it. This frame is very important.. "Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them."

You are genius, thank you soo much.

I've banged quite a few hot married chicks that are tired of their overweight, no interest in sex husbands who are terrible in bed anyways while they are staying fit and active and want it almost every day

 

[Murk]

You're honestly OK with her banging other dudes?

 

[Roober]

Do not talk about it.

Just do your thing and wait they find out

some are okay with it, some aren’t

I prefer to take my girls to hotels or be at their house

Too much liability bringing them to your house

 

[HaleyBaron]

We got a live one. Forewarning, you posted on SS. So that means you accept the terms of me absolutely tearing down your entire outlook on life. Now on to the meat.

and my partner,

She is not your partner. She is your girlfriend/ wife. You are the man of the relationship. She is not your equal. Calling girls your partner is the one way trip to cuckville. And the fact you are doing an open relationship means you willingly jumped into that frame.

agreed for me to game and build up my social skills.

But we agreed I also have sex with her, and will spend 70% with her & my kid. She also does not want me to pull at home when she is there (we live together)..

You're still falling. Your mistake was getting into agreement with this. I'm going to tell you this now, what a woman says is never what they are actually thinking. She is going to hate you from now on if she doesn't already.

But I realized when I talk very honest about this with younger girls, they don't accept it, or it gets them turned off. But with mature 28+ they accept it rather and ask me if she also goes out with other guys, and I say sometimes.

Why the f*ck are you being honest with women to begin with? You're suppose to imply that you **** many women, and that you might be taken. Don't be overt with it. I know men who still make out and have sex at parties despite people knowing he is taken. Why? Cause he doesn't flaunt it in front of their faces. You're suppose to be smooth about it, but I doubt you're a smooth person from what I am reading. I already have a good picture of you in my head and it ain't pretty.

My question: Should I hide or not mentioned it to the younger girls like 19,22,24 etc ? Maybe I am not okay with that?

I don't know what is in my subconscious, but maybe I have to build more confidence about that.

Young girls don't want to be involved in "adult matters." They don't want to hear that you have a kid or a wife or a gf or whatever. Young girls are for the now and fun. Adult drama is not fun. You're screwing up here.

No, what you need to do is basically unlearn everything you think you know. Pick up three recommended books:

• No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover [Your type is in this book]
• The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi [the 2013 is best for you]
• The Game by Neil Strauss [This is so you can understand how to unplug from a whipped male into being a party guy with young girls]

You can keep being a father, but for the next month, you should go on no dates, shut yourself in your room/ office when you're not attending to your children, and just absorb as much of the knowledge as you can. You must accept that you will feel weakness and hesitation. You must accept that all your thoughts and ideas are wrong. You must allow yourself to turn off your pride and just let someone talk you down. Your entire post is a sign of a grade A weak man that doesn't know about women or social awareness. To sharpen that, you need to first learn about yourself, and how men and woman relate to one another.

 

[Redwolf]

I am in an open relationship of sorts also. We been married for 18 years and have two kids. She doesn't see anyone outside our marriage but I do.

I've found it to be true also that women who are slightly older will accept you being in an open relationship than younger women. I am always 100% upfront with them.

I invite them into my life. If they decline I just keep moving. I'm currently seeing a single mother close to my age. My wife and her get along good when I have them out together.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I am in an open relationship of sorts also. We been married for 18 years and have two kids. She doesn't see anyone outside our marriage but I do.

I've found it to be true also that women who are slightly older will accept you being in an open relationship than younger women. I am always 100% upfront with them.

I invite them into my life. If they decline I just keep moving. I'm currently seeing a single mother close to my age. My wife and her get along good when I have them out together.

I tend to run into a lot of swinger types when I go to festivals. It seems to be normal to share around themselves.

 

[Redwolf]

I tend to run into a lot of swinger types when I go to festivals. It seems to be normal to share around themselves.

We've done the swinger thing also. It's fun if you can connect with other quality couples.

 

[SW15]

I am in an open relationship of sorts also. We been married for 18 years and have two kids. She doesn't see anyone outside our marriage but I do.

You are one of the few guys doing open relationships well. Open relationships are difficult to do well. They are probably more difficult than closed relationships. Most open relationship men are getting less side action than their girlfriends/wives.

I've found it to be true also that women who are slightly older will accept you being in an open relationship than younger women. I am always 100% upfront with them.

I invite them into my life. If they decline I just keep moving. I'm currently seeing a single mother close to my age. My wife and her get along good when I have them out together.

This all makes sense to me.

Young girls don't want to be involved in "adult matters." They don't want to hear that you have a kid or a wife or a gf or whatever. Young girls are for the now and fun. Adult drama is not fun. You're screwing up here.

Agree big time on this.

 

[Redwolf]

To do it correctly your main needs to understand you are not running off with another woman. The other women is there to provide the variety you crave and the only way your main can give that to you is to allow other women in your relationship.

Your side needs to understand her place also which is just for fun.

 

[Machine10033]

I've banged quite a few hot married chicks that are tired of their overweight, no interest in sex husbands who are terrible in bed anyways while they are staying fit and active and want it almost every day

every time I see a girl with a banging body in tight yoga pants at the gym or running and then see her husbands a fat/sloppy dude I know what’s coming.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

every time I see a girl with a banging body in tight yoga pants at the gym or running and then see her husbands a fat/sloppy dude I know what’s coming.

Yup...they want to be sexually satisfied and it isn't going to be from their husband who physically can't handle her.

 

[reality250]

You're still falling. Your mistake was getting into agreement with this. I'm going to tell you this now, what a woman says is never what they are actually thinking. She is going to hate you from now on if she doesn't already.

Thank you for the warning and getting the insights. I already have read these books several times and I got what you mean. Never talk to a current lover how many relationships you have etc. NEVER reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.

I think this was the main rules there, but how does this apply to open relationships? Should I just pull, even she does not want that ? The frame I should be in should be: do whatever you like, **** in the next room while my wife is sleeping with my son. Haha

You're still falling. Your mistake was getting into agreement with this. I'm going to tell you this now, what a woman says is never what they are actually thinking. She is going to hate you from now on if she doesn't already.

Does that mean I should ignore her? And never tell her something? Never get her permission? Because she is a woman, her opinion does not count...? WTF?

I mean, do you have kids with someone, no ? Then I guess you don't understand my point right now.

Young girls don't want to be involved in "adult matters." They don't want to hear that you have a kid or a wife or a gf or whatever. Young girls are for the now and fun. Adult drama is not fun. You're screwing up here.

This opened my eyes, now I understand why some of them reacted a certain way, and I remember one 38 old lady asked me after following me on IG if I have kids, and I answered, yes I have one kid, and kissed her.

Because with her, I had the feeling she understands me and everything is okay, and of course I also felt that, so I set the frame and she implied. But there are other women who don't. They start to ask & ask ask even I passed the s**t test, they have the resistance that I have my wife, and they can't go with me, and they really don't... I guess I have to hide then, which I should learn to handle it.

Which was never the case with younger women. So I will just enjoy the moments with these younger girls... But the main problem here is always I can't be able to pull. They live by their parents, or with other people, and I guess I have to go to hotels from now on.

Your arrangement is unacceptable to me. It is unacceptable not to be able to have sex in your home. Your name is on the rental lease or the purchase contract. Being able to have sex indoors is a housing feature that is as importance as having access to HVAC, indoor plumbing, and kitchen appliances.

Just pull at home whoever I want to and surprise both women with my family? Does not make sense at all. If you had a LTR with a kid, you would understand what I mean. I also watched tons frameworks, Courses, which gave me the insights about how to pull, ect but the problem is I cant while she is at home.. but thank you very much for giving me the right frame.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Your arrangement is unacceptable to me. It is unacceptable not to be able to have sex in your home. Your name is on the rental lease or the purchase contract. Being able to have sex indoors is a housing feature that is as importance as having access to HVAC, indoor plumbing, and kitchen appliances.

I can't imagine that any woman in a open relationship would agree not to have sex in her place of residence when her name is on the lease or purchase contract.

I think you need to fix the parameters of your "open relationship" before concerning yourself with disclosing your open relationship to women. Many women today do not have issues with open relationships. Heck, many women today have affairs with married men and it's not an issue for them.

The Iron Rules of Tomassi

One of the most influential books in my life has been The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. It’s a book I wish every man could read, and I…

medium.com

Iron Rule 1: Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

You are having multiple issues surrounding your frame.

I thought the whole point of an open relationship was to have open and honest dialogue and respect personal boundaries.
That is a family home ,there is nothing wrong with the boundaries she has set. He should ask for the same in return

 

[deadmasterx]

I don't know, the whole idea of open marriage will only make your woman grow resentful on you, sit on other men and still get the "provider" privilege on you or both of these. Sure, you may find yourself getting more women and being overall more "successful" than her, but isn't this competition (even if subconscious) a proof that the relationship itself has failed?

I don't know, man. I couldn't sleep on the same bed with my supposedly wife who just took someone else's **** few hours before laying with me.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I don't know, the whole idea of open marriage will only make your woman grow resentful on you, sit on other men and still get the "provider" privilege on you or both of these. Sure, you may find yourself getting more women and being overall more "successful" than her, but isn't this competition (even if subconscious) a proof that the relationship itself has failed?

I don't know, man. I couldn't sleep on the same bed with my supposedly wife who just took someone else's **** few hours before laying with me.

Well said.

 

[manfrombelow]

I might be old-school but I have never for once believed in the BS called "open relationship". To me, there's no such thing.

 

[Redwolf]

I might be old-school but I have never for once believed in the BS called "open relationship". To me, there's no such thing.

In my experience it only works one sided. Where the man has multiple women and the woman does not go outside the relationship unless she is bisexual with the side chick. So maybe not the classic idea of an open relationship, it's more of a swinger set-up like I have.

I works but I've found we are pretty rare in a world of close minded people.