Beta Cuck Reflects Upon Pandemic Being Last Straw of Marriage

[christie]

I don't know or have ever known even one woman who is a minimalist. That includes all female family members except for the two grandmothers of course. Broads born in the 20's and 30's know whats up. And they're all dropping dead now from corona and age.

Some of the females posting on the various DR baby steps facebook groups have sounded minimalist, but I know female nature too.

Why am I not minimalist? I lived on way less than 18k USD a year when I first moved out at 23 years old. Didn't I?


I was just wondering the other day if the reason I hang on to debt is to have an excuse to work. Smdh.
Why not build up investments as an excuse to work?

Its like, what? I don't really need that as a motivator.

Not being minimalist is like selfabuse.

Why do I spend so much at grocery stores? I know how to shop better. Come on. 150. CAD for 4 full bags last night when tired and just looking for convenience.

Driving further and burning 4. CAD gas could have saved me 75-100. CAD groceries I bet. I know better.

My reading/resting/park exercising almost 3 week vacation starts in a little over a week from now. Just try to hang on until then.

I just got under 23, 000 USD budget figured out for next year as my absolute bare minimum, assigning every 'fixed cost' dollar a job. That's amazing Aaron Clarey got it down to 20, 000 USD a year budget(from October 2020 vlog with E.i.C)

In grade 13(when it still existed in Ontario) my Economics teacher insisted he lived on 5,000 CAD per year.....this was 1992.
Amazing.

 

[SW15]

The beta cuck in the original story was on the forefront of a significant pandemic era trend. Divorce lawyers have been continuously busy since 2020.

https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/how-the-covid-pandemic-affected-marriages-and-caused-divorce.html

Thanks to COVID-19, Marriages Are Down and Divorce Lawyers Are Busy

Even in normal, non-pandemic times, marriages are hard. So is dating. But the events of the past year have added even more stress to all our relationships. We took a closer look at marriage, divorce, sex and dating in the age of COVID-19.

www.nbcboston.com

 

[EyeBRollin]

If your wife wants to go in any trip without you, immediately call a divorce lawyer.

 

[SW15]

My own assumption is that there were plenty more signs from her prior to her taking the girl's trip. If there weren't, the second she took her ring off and started acting distant, he should have responded in-kind by making himself scarce and talking to other women at the VERY least and probably should have kicked her out or moved out on his own too. But I still think there were signs prior to that. Most guys just don't know what to look for because their eyes aren't open, they don't understand how women work, and because they are crippled by a scarcity mindset.

If your wife wants to go in any trip without you, immediately call a divorce lawyer.

Yes, I think this is exactly what happened. Although the divorce filing happened in March 2020 at the onset of the pandemic, this is a divorce that was way overdue. In 2019, she was traveling without the husband and stopping wearing a ring. There were likely signs that things were going to shiit as far back as 2017. 2018-2019 would have been a better time for the divorce filing.

 

[HaleyBaron]

The beta cuck in the original story was on the forefront of a significant pandemic era trend. Divorce lawyers have been continuously busy since 2020.

https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/how-the-covid-pandemic-affected-marriages-and-caused-divorce.html

Thanks to COVID-19, Marriages Are Down and Divorce Lawyers Are Busy

Even in normal, non-pandemic times, marriages are hard. So is dating. But the events of the past year have added even more stress to all our relationships. We took a closer look at marriage, divorce, sex and dating in the age of COVID-19.

www.nbcboston.com

Despite struggling financial situations, women are being as adventurous as ever, going on more trips while placing themselves into debt or using the money they get from OnlyFans or sugar daddies. Meanwhile, there's three groups of men atm: men conserving money for their family/ business, men who are not spending anything cause they see a storm on the way, and men who are spending desperately to cope with their depression [gambling, Onlyfans which is also like gambling].

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sometimes the most unexpected publications have non-blue pill stories. This story is quite red pill. It was published in April in the early days of the pandemic.

https://www.texasmonthly.com/being-texan/coronavirus-divorce/

Highlights

• Seemingly childless couple (children not mentioned in article) in their 30s lives in Austin, TX, an SJW/feminist city
• Guy is 38, and played college basketball. Based on other clues in the article (his hobbies), he's likely white. Probably 6'0"+ since he was a college basketball player. He was likely a one time alpha before becoming immersed in the Austin culture. It's probably how they initially got together 7 years earlier.
• Woman seems to fit the feminist/careerist mold, as a finance professional who is into running marathons.
• In Summer 2019, wife takes international trip with female friends. Gets back to Austin, stops wearing ring, becomes emotionally and physically more distant. She likely had sex with random men while traveling internationally, making the guy a cuck.
• Wife was avoiding sex with husband in months prior to quarantine
• In quarantine, husband catches wife video chatting with some man and not being cold. Man was likely some lover.

Lessons

• Always keep striving and don't get complacent. If a 6'0"+ ex-college athlete can turn into a beta cuck, it can happen to anyone
• Don't stay in relationships too long, only stay as long as the relationship is good
• Avoid SJW/feminist cities. If not that, then avoid the most feminist/SJW social circles within those cities
• If your long term girlfriend or wife travels without you and the marriage hasn't been good lately, she will have sex with other men on that trip.

The problem with this is you are trying to give advice based on knowing one side of the story which is going to portray him in the best light possible.

The truth is relationships and marriage in particular is a lot of work for both sides. Most people aren't willing to do the work part that comes along with it, they only want the sex part and the good parts.

Yeah she was definitely the one who crossed the line, but the question then is why?

The likely answer is that this had been going downhill for many years. These type of things don't "just happen". It happens after being unhappy for a long time and the situation not being rectified.

The lesson more than anything is that if you want a marriage or long term relationship to work you have to be willing to put in hard work to do so and both people have to be willing to do it.

 

[SW15]

The truth is relationships and marriage in particular is a lot of work for both sides. Most people aren't willing to do the work part that comes along with it, they only want the sex part and the good parts.

The lesson more than anything is that if you want a marriage or long term relationship to work you have to be willing to put in hard work to do so and both people have to be willing to do it.

I brought this story back up because family lawyers have been quite busy for the last 2+ years.

I want sex primarily in a relationship. LTRs offer non-sexual benefits as well. Those are appealing to me but the primary appeal is regular sex without having to do approaching, courting, etc.

I will put in work to maintain a good situation.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Don’t understand why men get married in Western culture.

This.

I do agree that it's better for kids to be raised in a household where the parents are married. Other than that, it's a fools' errand for basically all the same reasons that have been discussed on this board for all of my 18 years.

If you DO decide to get married, ensure she has just as much to lose as you when you get divorced, meaning she has a good job, assets, $, etc. This way when maintenance is calculated you're in a better place financially.

 

[SW15]

Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, all been divorced. If they can’t make it work, average males don’t stand a chance.

Don’t understand why men get married in Western culture. Femnism is alive and well. The system is behind the women in all cases.

Women are out for themselves. Wake up men.

I agree with all this. I had interest in marrying earlier in my career in the mating environment but none of my relationships ever came close to that point.

 

[SW15]

I do agree that it's better for kids to be raised in a household where the parents are married.

I think this is why a lot of men continue to marry. I’ve always been ambivalent about having kids. I think more men want to have kids than there are men out there like me. The typical guy in an extended relationship who wants kids is not a well represented group among SoSuave forum participants.

I asked my closest male friend once why he bothered to get married. At the time he proposed, he was already living with his girlfriend. He said that the reason behind the marriage proposal was because of the desire to have children later on & have a solid home life in place for the future children.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I think this is why a lot of men continue to marry. I’ve always been ambivalent about having kids. I think more men want to have kids than there are men out there like me. The typical guy in an extended relationship who wants kids is not a well represented group among SoSuave forum participants.

I asked my closest male friend once why he bothered to get married. At the time he proposed, he was already living with his girlfriend. He said that the reason behind the marriage proposal was because of the desire to have children later on & have a solid home life in place for the future children.

At that point, as with you're friend, it's about carefully vetting your gf/wife before children because you'll be bonded to her for life--which is a long time.

People let endorphins and oxytocin take over in the early days of a relationship and even marriage and all that seems rosy wears off fast after a few years of marriage when reality sets it. Throw in kids, careers, in-laws, money, social circle, and interests and hobbies, and it's a HUGE task of navigation and project management.

Most people getting marred simply aren't emotionally mature enough nor do they have the tools to succeed. That's why I laugh at these SS posters who say "women" (they're still immature girls, not women) age 18-25 are the best for LTRs and to wife up. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Mostly, it's the man who gets hit much harder in a divorce. That's why you have a divorce bump at about 3 years, sadly after kids are born within a 1-3 years, and at about 8 years of marriage. After that in most cases, the relationship is mostly platonic where two people enjoy each other's company for the most part, but it transforms into a good friendship. Some, mainly (and statistically speaking) women, see this friendship phase as a huge flag and play the divorce card, when it's actually the natural progression of the relationship.

 

[SW15]

People let endorphins and oxytocin take over in the early days of a relationship and even marriage and all that seems rosy wears off fast after a few years of marriage when reality sets it. Throw in kids, careers, in-laws, money, social circle, and interests and hobbies, and it's a HUGE task of navigation and project management.

I’m not that interested in most of that stuff.

Most people getting marred simply aren't emotionally mature enough nor do they have the tools to succeed. That's why I laugh at these SS posters who say "women" (they're still immature girls, not women) age 18-25 are the best for LTRs and to wife up. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Mostly, it's the man who gets hit much harder in a divorce. That's why you have a divorce bump at about 3 years, sadly after kids are born within a 1-3 years, and at about 8 years of marriage. After that in most cases, the relationship is mostly platonic where two people enjoy each other's company for the most part, but it transforms into a good friendship. Some, mainly (and statistically speaking) women, see this friendship phase as a huge flag and play the divorce card, when it's actually the natural progression of the relationship.

I’m 39. I likely don’t have the emotional maturity or tools to have a lasting marriage. I also think there is a good argument that marriage in its current form doesn’t fit a more secular lifestyle.

Building a marriage around an 18-25 year old with a low notch count can be a good idea. It’s only applicable to a small set of devout religious practitioners though.

I agree with a lot of your timeline analysis. I see no value in enjoying the other person’s company & the good friendship part. Sex is my primary need from the interaction type. I wouldn’t stick around for that type of relationship. I agree that a lot of women will exit based upon the natural progression. That’s because women aren’t built for true monogamy. They are more built for shorter term or serial monogamy, a form of monogamy that may last anywhere from 3-15 years, but typically 5-10.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

At that point, as with you're friend, it's about carefully vetting your gf/wife before children because you'll be bonded to her for life--which is a long time.

People let endorphins and oxytocin take over in the early days of a relationship and even marriage and all that seems rosy wears off fast after a few years of marriage when reality sets it. Throw in kids, careers, in-laws, money, social circle, and interests and hobbies, and it's a HUGE task of navigation and project management.

Most people getting marred simply aren't emotionally mature enough nor do they have the tools to succeed. That's why I laugh at these SS posters who say "women" (they're still immature girls, not women) age 18-25 are the best for LTRs and to wife up. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Mostly, it's the man who gets hit much harder in a divorce. That's why you have a divorce bump at about 3 years, sadly after kids are born within a 1-3 years, and at about 8 years of marriage. After that in most cases, the relationship is mostly platonic where two people enjoy each other's company for the most part, but it transforms into a good friendship. Some, mainly (and statistically speaking) women, see this friendship phase as a huge flag and play the divorce card, when it's actually the natural progression of the relationship.

Agree with much of this. The sad truth is that most guys are not good in the bedroom to begin with and after most let themselves go and gain a bunch of weight they become less able to perform than they were...it's like going from a 65% to a 25%...barely passable to major fail.

Increasingly bad sex leads to less sex leads to relationship quickly heading into a downward spiral...sex and intimacy is like the "glue" that holds things together even when things might not be going great in life or there are challenges to deal with.

Without the "glue", things can fall apart rather quickly.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Agree with much of this. The sad truth is that most guys are not good in the bedroom to begin with and after most let themselves go and gain a bunch of weight they become less able to perform than they were...it's like going from a 65% to a 25%...barely passable to major fail.

Increasingly bad sex leads to less sex leads to relationship quickly heading into a downward spiral...sex and intimacy is like the "glue" that holds things together even when things might not be going great in life or there are challenges to deal with.

Without the "glue", things can fall apart rather quickly.

Agreed.

I've also noticed divorce is contagious. Women see their friends getting divorced, cashing out, and having all this fun traveling and dating and the guy's wife follows suit. Sad, especially if the guy has been a good husband.

Anyone else witness this?

 

[SW15]

The sad truth is that most guys are not good in the bedroom to begin with and after most let themselves go and gain a bunch of weight they become less able to perform than they were...it's like going from a 65% to a 25%...barely passable to major fail.

Increasingly bad sex leads to less sex leads to relationship quickly heading into a downward spiral...sex and intimacy is like the "glue" that holds things together even when things might not be going great in life or there are challenges to deal with.

Without the "glue", things can fall apart rather quickly.

I agree with this. In my teens & early 20s, I read sex manuals & studied about how to be good at sex. I wanted to create a competitive advantage by being good at sex since I am not 6’0”+ & have not had huge muscles.

I've also noticed divorce is contagious. Women see their friends getting divorced, cashing out, and having all this fun traveling and dating and the guy's wife follows suit. Sad, especially if the guy has been a good husband.

Anyone else witness this?

I’ve witnessed this to a limited extent. Both my cousins got divorced within 2.5 years of each other.

If you look at the friends I’ve made since moving to my current city roughly a decade ago, I’ve yet to see this happen. In the general social sphere of my main social group, almost all the marriages were between 2016-2019, with one straggler marriage in 2020. No one is divorced yet from the 2016-2019 marrying cohort. Someone will pull the trigger on that soon. Married people are good at keeping their problems unknown to their social acquaintances until the divorce is filed.

Another thing that you’re not considering is that in social circles, there’s often a flurry of marriages at the same time. Everyone is living the same timeline of the life cycle of a marriage so that’s also why divorce appear contagious. Because everyone’s timeline is the same from similar marriage start dates, these marriages are all going to fail around the same time when they fail.

 

[Travel memoir21]

At that point, as with you're friend, it's about carefully vetting your gf/wife before children because you'll be bonded to her for life--which is a long time.

People let endorphins and oxytocin take over in the early days of a relationship and even marriage and all that seems rosy wears off fast after a few years of marriage when reality sets it. Throw in kids, careers, in-laws, money, social circle, and interests and hobbies, and it's a HUGE task of navigation and project management.

Most people getting marred simply aren't emotionally mature enough nor do they have the tools to succeed. That's why I laugh at these SS posters who say "women" (they're still immature girls, not women) age 18-25 are the best for LTRs and to wife up. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Mostly, it's the man who gets hit much harder in a divorce. That's why you have a divorce bump at about 3 years, sadly after kids are born within a 1-3 years, and at about 8 years of marriage. After that in most cases, the relationship is mostly platonic where two people enjoy each other's company for the most part, but it transforms into a good friendship. Some, mainly (and statistically speaking) women, see this friendship phase as a huge flag and play the divorce card, when it's actually the natural progression of the relationship.

Do you want to get married someday? Have you thought of moving over seas to be an expat, find property and wife up some classy lady? There's lots of remote jobs out there.

 

[RickTheToad]

 

[SW15]

While what happened to him is sad, and I'm sure it is difficult for him, it is just another example demonstrating how men and women love differently, and that most men simply don't understand this or how to handle it.

Most guys just don't know what to look for because their eyes aren't open, they don't understand how women work, and because they are crippled by a scarcity mindset.

He handled the whole situation poorly in 2018-2019 pre-pandemic.

The scarcity mindset is one of the biggest problems men have.

My own assumption is that there were plenty more signs from her prior to her taking the girl's trip.

There likely were.

the second she took her ring off and started acting distant, he should have responded in-kind by making himself scarce and talking to other women at the VERY least and probably should have kicked her out or moved out on his own too.

When that ring comes off and isn't being worn, that's a sign that the man needs to contact a divorce attorney. This divorce needed to be started pre-pandemic.