Why Men should create social groups to meet Women

[kavi]

It is difficult to meet women and socialise with them to get to know them.

For men, the best way to do this is likely going to be to create social groups and friends circles with social activities that will attract, and more importantly, retain women close to you so you can develop relationships with them.

Women have the same problem as men and there is big demand out there for ways to both socialise and make friends and also meet people for romantic relationships.

What is needed is a high-value attractive guy who knows how to talk to women and keep them interested. You just need one such guy in a group. That guy will 'Game' all the women and keep them coming back to the social group.

Women in the modern West are actually quite isolated and are always looking for ways to increase their friends circle with other girls and have close friendships with other women. This is hard for them to do. This is the major pulling factor of the social circle. As the men 'Game' and attract women to the social group, those women can develop friendships with each other and this acts as a another glue to keep them coming back.

To a large extent this problem is not really about meeting romantic people but just about social isolation in general. The reason we have to cold approach and go on dating apps is just because there are no other ways to meet and talk to women consistently. Our other major avenue was bars and pubs which is the standard socialising culture in the west. The problem with these places is that people mostly stay within their own social groups and also drinks and food at these places is expensive.

There are loads of girls out there who want access to a good social life, to both make friends and also possibly meet romantic partners. If this demand is met there would be no need for dating apps or cold-approaching. Also, talking to women at parties and social events where everyone is expected to mingle and be on good behaviour is much easier and gives men a lot more power than cold-approaching, clubs or apps.

So I think for men out there who have strong social skills and 'Game', the best route would be to team up with other guys and start attracting women to a social place like a bar or something. Be good to them and your aim to keep them coming back not trying to make them your girlfriend too soon. DO NOT COMPETE WITH OTHER GUYS for that one girl but work with them to get many women in your social circle.

There are economic, social and romantic opportunities in the ability to create social events, parties etc that are cheap, easily accessible, have good people there because there is big gap in the market and HUGE demand for this.

You can then cold-approach women and when you get there number you invite them to the party, social event instead of trying to go out with her 1on1 straight away. A guy is who trying to put women into his social group is much more attractive to a girl than one who is just trying to make her his girlfriend.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Sounds good on paper, but I disagree

1). How does a guy even start this? Most social circles are created in High School(even in college unless you were able to join a fraternity which was also high school based at my university). Plus, they aren't an immediate answer to your problem which is that you need some @$$ to end that drought you are in.

2). Lets say you do find a couple of guys to form a circle. These guys are more than likely going to be just as thirsty as you and undesirable to most women making it harder on you lol. This isn't Crazy, Stupid, Love where two decent-looking guys can co-game with each other. Even if you do manage to find a solo Chad scrap, they tend to be total narcissistic douchebags.

3). Every girl already has access to a decent social life. A girl will easily spend a weekend doing not shvt because she knows that she can go to a bar, brunch, wedding event, vacation, etc at any time of the day. It's the desperate men that can't afford to waste a Friday or Saturday night at the bar lol.

4). Women have plenty of friends and fake bullshvt friends to please them. What they want is an alpha male, pitbull-type male, or slave male lol.

5). Yall will be COMPETING against each other because your social group consists of horny and desperate single guys lol.

 

[2Rocky]

you mean like a Fraternity?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I had a meetup group going before the pandemic. Most of the participants were women. As organizer I didn’t actually try to fvck them though.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's easier to just join groups where there already are women. I think the funniest thing in the world that men continue to fail to learn is if you are in an environment where there are more women than men your chances go up. Join a yoga studio... not only will your physical and mental heath improve, classes are 80% women, and the few males that show up half are gay.

Down side is that most are going to be VERY liberal. So if you have a problem with emotional self control and like to argue with women... you are not going to do well. Also if your ego is such that you can't stand being in a situation where women can out perform you physically, again you are going to have a problem because it takes months of practice before you don't look like an unbalanced idiot.

The other thing you have to remember is that you REALLY have to go a lot, and it does take while for women in the studio to open up to you.
Another thing... dance classes. Again mostly women.

Just freaking go where women are and you'll do much better.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I used to think the way OP does a while back but after getting into it, and I will keep saying it (maybe even post a thread on it), social circle is a waste of time if your goal is to sleep with lots of different women. @Jake_Gyllenhaal69 brought it up immediately, most guys are not your friends and will be thirsty.

Most dudes are way too impatient and driven by their sexual urges to ever pull something like this off. The few who can pull it off are already in a relationship because they don't need themselves validated through sex. What you will end up finding out in the end is that a lot of your male friends will often go behind your back to make a move on a woman in your circle which will creep her out.

Oh and it is worth mentioning, NEVER do this $hit with a pickup guy you know, EVER.

Pickup dudes are not only thirsty but have such god awful social skills that they will weird women out for it to amount to anything. Most are leeches and will just try to mooch off of whatever results you have. Oh and a lot of them see no value in thinking long-term so they will be trying to smash whatever girl is in their vicinity.

Putting together an elite social circle with pickup guys is like trying to launch a business venture with broke dudes who are used to snatching up welfare. At some point, likely early on, you will realize that you made a massive mistake.

The thing that most guys do not want to hear is this, cold approach is by far the best way to do it even though it is the hardest.

Social circles tie you down and throw responsibilities on to you that chew away at your time. You often realize how so many of the guys you meet in these social situations are just moochers barely getting by with a job. A lot of them live unfulfilled life and use alcohol and social life to compensate for the emptiness and chronic underachievement.

Cold approach takes a lot of guts but also gives the best results, by far. In order for you to truly make it all work, you would invest a ton of time in cold approach, get your lay count up, and find women you hit it off with. Those women will often have social lives you can be a guest in.

Avoid male friends for anything pickup and game related, 95% of them will just be leeches.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

It's easier to just join groups where there already are women. I think the funniest thing in the world that men continue to fail to learn is if you are in an environment where there are more women than men your chances go up. Join a yoga studio... not only will your physical and mental heath improve, classes are 80% women, and the few males that show up half are gay.

Down side is that most are going to be VERY liberal. So if you have a problem with emotional self control and like to argue with women... you are not going to do well. Also if your ego is such that you can't stand being in a situation where women can out perform you physically, again you are going to have a problem because it takes months of practice before you don't look like an unbalanced idiot.

The other thing you have to remember is that you REALLY have to go a lot, and it does take while for women in the studio to open up to you.
Another thing... dance classes. Again mostly women.

Just freaking go where women are and you'll do much better.

Yes and no. The problem with yoga classes, as with any fruitful avenue for meeting women, is that in a lot of cities they are stock full of single dudes out with the sole purpose of getting laid.

The answer no guy wants to hear but has to, especially pickup guys, is that you have to be a quality guy to get the life of having above average women flowing into your life. Max out your looks, get your career on lock, move to a fun city, tighten up your social skills/game, be a more optimistic person with a good vibe, and find hobbies that you are passionate about on top of all of that (bonus if they are social).

Then ON TOP OF ALL THAT you must approach and get good at it. You must learn game and learn to avoid the negativity (black pill, incel, and bitter burned out PUAs) of it.

Do that enough and overtime, some lays and successes will present themselves as social opportunities.

In all of this, AVOID making friends with guys who are trying to game as well. You will quickly find that most of these guys are moochers that don't have their lives together and are mostly looking for a free handout.

 

[SW15]

How does a guy even start this? Most social circles are created in High School(even in college unless you were able to join a fraternity which was also high school based at my university).

Most social circles are formed either between K-12 or in college. Geographical consistency is one of the keys to having a good social circle. Part of this is on your parent(s) to keep you in the same area from birth - end of high school. Part of this is on you as an individual. Relocations kill social circle chances. I had multiple childhood & adulthood relocations before settling in my current city in my late 20s. While I’ve now been in my current city 10+ years, it has turned out to be too little, too late in terms of having a social circle capable of arranging dates for me. I have had male friends & some decent male friendships in the past 10+ years. I’m not a social outcast. However, my social circle is non-existent in terms of date arrangement

Plus, they aren't an immediate answer to your problem which is that you need some @$$ to end that drought you are in.

In post-college adulthood, this is the biggest roadblock to setting up a social circle capable of arranging dates. If you’re starting from scratch, it might take multiple years to get a social circle to a place where it is capable of arranging dates for you. Most men don’t have the patience to see that through. The men who can see that social circle creation effort through are the ones who created their circles mainly before puberty or way earlier in life.

If you’re something like 22-26, post educational phase of life & in a big city that is transplant heavy, you might be able to link up with other adults in a similar spot in life. These circles do form but they tend to be weaker circles. I’ve been a part of circles like this of transplanted adults to a city. That’s how I’ve made my friends in my current city. Most transplanted adults have weak circles, which often forces them into the swipe apps, but some focus on nightlife. Very few focus of non-bar cold approaching

Yall will be COMPETING against each other because your social group consists of horny and desperate single guys lol.

This EXACT thing happened among my friends for a couple of women who were in our social sphere for whatever reason. One woman had 4-5 guys from my friend group competing for her. She chose one & they are still together today. A second woman had 3 men make efforts on her, she chose one & they married. The wild thing about this one is that she turned out to be rather prudish. I was one of the 3 competing for her so even if she had selected me as the best option, it wouldn’t have been a good fit for her. Perhaps she recognized that I am a horn dog who tends to escalate fast & that’s why she didn’t ever really seem receptive to me.

 

[RangerMIke]

Yes and no. The problem with yoga classes, as with any fruitful avenue for meeting women, is that in a lot of cities they are stock full of single dudes out with the sole purpose of getting laid.

The answer no guy wants to hear but has to, especially pickup guys, is that you have to be a quality guy to get the life of having above average women flowing into your life. Max out your looks, get your career on lock, move to a fun city, tighten up your social skills/game, be a more optimistic person with a good vibe, and find hobbies that you are passionate about on top of all of that (bonus if they are social).

Then ON TOP OF ALL THAT you must approach and get good at it. You must learn game and learn to avoid the negativity (black pill, incel, and bitter burned out PUAs) of it.

Do that enough and overtime, some lays and successes will present themselves as social opportunities.

In all of this, AVOID making friends with guys who are trying to game as well. You will quickly find that most of these guys are moochers that don't have their lives together and are mostly looking for a free handout.

True... Good stuff. As far as yoga.... don't go because you want to pick up chicks... go because you like the exercise and flexibility that comes with it, women are a positive by-product. Men that are there to game women get sniffed out pretty fast and ignored until they quit. This is why you have to go a lot, over a period of time before you even try unless women come up to you. If you become a regular it's easy.

But really I'm just using yoga because it works for me, but I've been practicing at the same studio for 5 years... some women I meet though yoga are friends of other women that I practice with. It's a social circle... better than a frat because men are scarce.

But like anything, pick something YOU LIKE to do, were there are women. Could be anything doesn't have to be yoga, dance classes, art classes... but it has to be something you are interested in.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most of my friends got their GF/wives through SC.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Another thing... dance classes. Again mostly women.

I'm considering this one eventually. Then get a show pony, and have her be your wingwoman.

 

[SW15]

Yes and no. The problem with yoga classes, as with any fruitful avenue for meeting women, is that in a lot of cities they are stock full of single dudes out with the sole purpose of getting laid.

The answer no guy wants to hear but has to, especially pickup guys, is that you have to be a quality guy to get the life of having above average women flowing into your life. Max out your looks, get your career on lock, move to a fun city, tighten up your social skills/game, be a more optimistic person with a good vibe, and find hobbies that you are passionate about on top of all of that (bonus if they are social).

Then ON TOP OF ALL THAT you must approach and get good at it. You must learn game and learn to avoid the negativity (black pill, incel, and bitter burned out PUAs) of it.

Do that enough and overtime, some lays and successes will present themselves as social opportunities.

In all of this, AVOID making friends with guys who are trying to game as well. You will quickly find that most of these guys are moochers that don't have their lives together and are mostly looking for a free handout.

It's pretty difficult to avoid the negativity. Even though I have negative things to say about approaching strangers randomly, that's still probably the best overall option I've had over time. Avoiding other guys in the pickup phase of life is good too. I've had some similar experiences.

As far as yoga.... don't go because you want to pick up chicks... go because you like the exercise and flexibility that comes with it, women are a positive by-product. Men that are there to game women get sniffed out pretty fast and ignored until they quit. This is why you have to go a lot, over a period of time before you even try unless women come up to you. If you become a regular it's easy.

But really I'm just using yoga because it works for me, but I've been practicing at the same studio for 5 years... some women I meet though yoga are friends of other women that I practice with. It's a social circle... better than a frat because men are scarce.

But like anything, pick something YOU LIKE to do, were there are women. Could be anything doesn't have to be yoga, dance classes, art classes... but it has to be something you are interested in.

I tried yoga, wasn't my thing. High intensity interval type workouts have the same ratios as yoga and is more my speed. Even with good ratios at high intensity interval style workouts, it's still not that easy to get dates at them. A lot of women just aren't that social there. It's worth doing the classes if you like them, but to expect a fitness class with good ratios to be the magic bullet to solve dating problems is a misplaced expectation.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I’m in a yoga class at my gym full of women. I do it because it stretches my muscles and relaxes me. If you are interested in doing it for women, you will literally get 2 minutes combined before and after class. It is not a social happy hour activity.

 

[SW15]

I’m in a yoga class at my gym full of women. I do it because it stretches my muscles and relaxes me. If you are interested in doing it for women, you will literally get 2 minutes combined before and after class. It is not a social happy hour activity.

I've had similar experiences in the intense interval style classes as well. Your windows for approaching are about 5 mins before class and 5 mins after class, separated by a 45-60 minute class.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I honestly don't see a point in making male friends personally, why hang out with a bunch of guys when I can just have a bunch of plates that both fulfil my social and sexual needs?

Why go to the movies with the boys instead of your date?

 

[Murk]

I honestly don't see a point in making male friends personally, why hang out with a bunch of guys when I can just have a bunch of plates that both fulfil my social and sexual needs?

Why go to the movies with the boys instead of your date?

You need male friends, you need to be around other men, to socialise and network with high-value men. Ask advice, do man things with. Poker, drinking, sports, business. Yes, plates/women are cool but you're not going to build/get sh!t done with them (mostly).

I have a group of male friends I've known for 21-28 years since I was 5-12 years old, ride or die, came to my mums funeral and supported me in those dark times, been to court/jail together, been in wars, nearly 3 decades of memories. You need men you can count on, anything less is weak/beta. I prefer female company, but if you can't navigate male interactions and form male bonds/connections then you are not really a man. Men gain respect from other men, and women are attracted to that.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You need male friends, you need to be around other men, to socialise and network with high-value men. Ask advice, do man things with. Poker, drinking, sports, business. Yes, plates/women are cool but you're not going to build/get sh!t done with them (mostly).

Too bad high value men that would also benefit my life are extremely rare loo

 

[Murk]

Too bad high value men that would also benefit my life are extremely rare loo

You gotta seek them out, they are busy doing alpha things.

 

[2Rocky]

This is where having a mentor can help a young guy. The older more experienced man can introduce him to his social circles, and if each of those guys are bringing in young mentee's then they form a circle of their own. The easiest avenue for this is through work.

When I came to work with my company, I was introduced to a sub committee of One particular annual event by the truly alpha salesman 10 years before he retired. I watched him AMOG entire crowds...
At about the same time, one of the senior board members of the Chamber of Commerce industry committee invited me to join their group. in 5 years I was that committee chair
My Bachelor uncle sponsored me into a men's club with an annual gathering 20 years ago. I'm now on the membership committee.
Upon moving back to my hometown I joined the young leadership committee for a industry group on the state level. Had I been single, that is likely where I'd have met a wife.

But where I learned how to do that all was in a Fraternity in College. REALLY.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I try not to brag too much but I am doing quite alright in terms of career success and my lifestyle. The whole "mentors" thing is BS. Seriously, older guys who became successful were living in a different time than you were and under different circumstances. You do have a mentor easily available to everyone, it's called the internet. Be proactive, research your profession, connect with people on LinkedIn around it, and take control of your own destiny. It is what I did.

I was in a college fraternity and tbh, it didn't do that much for me. Most guys go on to work your typical accounting job or some consultant/analyst job at an EY or PWC. At the end of the day, if you know what you are talking about, research your field and the place you want to work at, and offer unique value then they will take you.

I will post a separate thread on it at some point but here is the issue with the social circle mindset.

Too many guys want the "easy" button on life. They want the friend group to yield them a quality woman or a quality job. This is why social circles are a bad idea for most pickup guys and guys that study game. If you cannot offer unique value and make peoples' life better by being around you, no one will bother to take a chance on you.

When I was in NYC, one of my friends had an older brother who was prominent in the restaurant scene there. Promoters, aspiring socialites, and all sorts of dudes tried to get his attention. Most of these guys were leeches hyping themselves up and often got ghosted. If you cannot deliver unique value to this guy, he is not going to bother with you.

The problem with the social circle mindset is that guys treat it as a shortcut, there is none for you there.

At the end of the day, game is hard work. You need to go through the grind, take your bruises, and find your success. Ironically, once I started to get better with women and do daygame more proactively, though only for a couple of months, random dudes who see me are trying to approach me for advice or ask me to join them at a certain bar.

Seriously, don't take your eyes off the prize and stop looking for easy fixes, it is what is wrong with the entire millennial generation.