has anyone told a woman "they need a break from her"

[derby1]

Now its usually women who pull all these cards.

Lets say your 50/50 about a woman & her character traits but shes heavily invested in you, you tell her we should cool off for a few weeks,

presume it sends her insane?

 

[member160292]

What's the outcome you're looking for?

My first thought is that if you are still unsure after a couple of months, things probably won't improve as you get to know more and more about her. Call me cynical, but I'd keep her around while trying to find others that check more of the boxes.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Pulling back when a women already has high IL is pointless and will backfire. At some point they need actual comfort/security. You want women to always be a little insecure but not so massively insecure to the point that they question if you're even interested at all. Plus it's like you're punishing good behavior.

 

[bat soup]

Now its usually women who pull all these cards.

Lets say your 50/50 about a woman & her character traits but shes heavily invested in you, you tell her we should cool off for a few weeks,

presume it sends her insane?

I think you'd get better results by just telling her that you're busy.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

This is how you get your tires slashed or the random Tuesday at midnight pop ups

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've told a woman I only wanted to be friends with her but I genuinely liked hanging out with her so we continued to do it for a few months until one day she sent me some huge long text about how she isn't going to wait around for me and blah blah blah and this and that and that I'm playing games with her emotions and I need to decide what I wanted, etc ..

Never responded...I realized at that point there was no way this could work because she is always going to want more than I do.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nope. I either break up with her directly or become “too busy” to see her for a couple weeks.

 

[Steno]

To answer the op's question, if your not into her then break up with her. If her character is questionable to you then leave, whatever doubts you have over her will just amplify with time and eventually drive you crazy. If you can't figure out whats bothering you about her then its probably your subconscious picking up on some shady things and signaling you to gtfo of that situation.

Reading the topic of your thread “have you ever asked for a break from a woman?”

In my humble experience, the only way for a girl to truly fall deeply for you is you actually have to break up with her early in the relationship, at an emotional high, and she has to beg it back.

Women (unlike men) absolutely love being dumped subconsciously because its the most clear indication you can provide that you’re above her (hypergamy).

The key is you have to actually mean it when you dump her. You only change your mind if she comes but ultra submissive and willing to obey.

That is horrible advice, I can't tell if your joking or being serious.

 

[Who Dares Win]

No need to verbalize, just leave.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I've told a woman I only wanted to be friends with her but I genuinely liked hanging out with her so we continued to do it for a few months until one day she sent me some huge long text about how she isn't going to wait around for me and blah blah blah and this and that and that I'm playing games with her emotions and I need to decide what I wanted, etc ..

Never responded...I realized at that point there was no way this could work because she is always going to want more than I do.

Kudos for turning her into an orbiter! It's funny that they'll start to exhibit those needy traits that turn them off when they're in that position.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You didn't mention what you were trying to accomplish with this.

I am usually more covert about this than overt. I use silence & distance to slowly fade away and reduce the attention I give her, my responsiveness to her, and my availability, as a consequence of behavior I don't like. On the other hand, if a woman violates a boundary I have communicated to her once before, and/or she is refusing to accept my boundary or refusing to stop being angry with me about it, I will tell her we should take some time off and I will go silent for a couple of weeks. This serves as my final warning before I dump her for good.

In the latter situation, I will be ready to walk if the outcome isn't to my liking, and I don't use this tactic for anything other than communicating to her that she's on the thinnest of ice, that I won't put up with what she has done, and if she is trying to argue with me over it, that I will NOT engage her in circular debate. There is no debate to be had. My boundaries are my boundaries and you can either accept them or I can dump you; they are not open for debate. Can't handle that? Take care.

If you are trying to use this as a manipulation tactic to increase a woman's IL, don't. Yes it absolutely can work, but it can also have the opposite effect. Best to use this as a tool to enforce your boundaries and to eliminate bad behavior.

Women ultimately want a man who can walk away from her drama and mean it. It sets a hard boundary on her emotionality and that’s what causes her to submit. Submitting a woman is similar to breaking a wild pony.

100% accurate. I will just add that in my experience and view, it is best to employ this as a response to her poor behavior, not as something you just do out of the blue to set the hook. I know you aren't saying that Pan, but just want to make that point clear to others.

I do question however the quality of women this approach works on because imo and experience a woman with an adequate amount of self-esteem and self-love is not gonna go chasing a man who just dumped her over the rainbow, no matter how high her interest is.

The key word here is "walk away from her drama". I take that to mean Pan is saying the same thing I am. Setting boundaries and enforcing them by walking away if she violates them. 99% of women test their men constantly - it is part of the feminine energy. They crave feeling a man's masculinity and one of the ways they do this is through their tests. These tests can be very small - like not giving an answer to a man dumb enough to ask her where she wants to go out for dinner (in hopes that he will lead and pick a place), or they can be big - such as flirting with someone else in front of him. Many tests fall in between.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Not pulling back from high IL woman is a sure fire way to destroy the high IL.

Guys make this mistake…all…the….time.

High IL isn’t a fixed thing. It can change tomorrow, especially if you’re giving her comfort and security. She doesn’t need that. She has government for that (and she knows it).

I think it depends on context, length of relationship, type of woman.

I absolutely think something like dread game or a bit of distance now and then is necessary to maintain interest even if it's high. But that doesn't mean you just suggest taking a break for 3 weeks for no reason, especially in an LTR. That just seems like a recipe for disaster. And certainly a "break up" wouldn't be warranted out of the blue either unless she had a pattern of disrespect.

 

[derby1]

Good discussion guys, I think it would be to correct a few behaviour issues, sort of like a soft next..

the woman hasnt done anything to deserve walking away from, but she needs checking.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I simply wasn't jumping through his self-imposed hoops and complying in the way HE needed me to comply which basically meant worshipping him and the ground he walked on, being at his beck and call on HIS terms, acquiescing to HIS frame, allowing him full control, submitting and seducing at all times.

This is your interpretation of his boundaries. For all I know, your saying he wanted you to "worship him and the ground he walked on" means that that you told him his nose was too big and he responded by telling you not to criticize his appearance. Your examples are extremely vague and non-specific. They could mean anything.

Here's the thing...... a real man will set the rules and enforce them and walk away if they are broken. The part that even most DJs don't understand is that a man has the right to set ANY rule he wants, without debate, and this is not wrong. If a man says a woman should not speak unless spoken to, should not cut her hair, should live in a dungeon in a basement..... he isn't wrong. That is simply what HE wants and where his boundaries are. Any woman can choose to adhere to those or not adhere to them. There is no wrong or right here. There is only what he desires and what she is willing to follow. Will the boundaries I provided in my example above be something most women wouldn't put up with and would ultimately leave a man over? Statistically 99% yes. But he must find women who ARE willing to accept these boundaries, or he must continue to evolve as a man and understand how and why his boundaries should evolve. But a woman in a romantic relationship absolutely cannot modify a man's boundaries. If she does, the polarity between masculine and feminine is broken.... from there, the woman loses trust in him (and consequently attraction) and will ultimately leave him. Women want to be lead. It is up to the woman to find a man who she wants to lead HER. If she finds a man who wants her to stay locked in a basement, then this is not the man she probably wants to lead her so she should next him until she finds a man who can lead her and who's boundaries are mostly consistent within her own values (with the understanding that there will always be some level of frustration on her part - for ending up on the losing end of the power struggles).

Most DJs have heard plenty of stories from the women they've spent time with... about their exes or guys they've dated. I genuinely enjoy women telling me about these things because it just carves the existing DJ knowledge deeper and deeper into my brain. Some of the women talk of guys who had these horrible unreasonable requests and when I hear them, I think to myself, "Good for him hahahaha - this girl is definitely staying in plate status," while other times I think to myself, "Wow, what an insecure narcissist - that dude is going to have a tough time finding a decent woman willing to put up with all that long-term." A MASSIVE part of being a good DJ is working on yourself to the point where you understand the difference between being an insecure tyrant, vs knowing what you want, understanding WHY you want it, being confident with that, and knowing that in either case, it is not open for debate. The girl either accepts your terms or you leave.

 

[The Duke]

Now its usually women who pull all these cards.

Lets say your 50/50 about a woman & her character traits but shes heavily invested in you, you tell her we should cool off for a few weeks,

presume it sends her insane?

Yes I have. Had a live in ltr girlfriend. She was highly invested in me. Great person, good heart, hot, submissive, but had some issues with self control that she needed to work on. I told her she needed to get her own place and work on some of her issues. So she did. I agreed to not see anybody else. I knew she wouldnt. But I was prepared to end things for good if need be. We still talked but it was just casual dating for about 4months. My goal was to get her attention and make her realize she needed to work on her self. She was a 5 when it came to relationship skills and I needed her to be at least a 7. If she did improve then I would still be there and we could move forward. She got some counseling and did a lot of self reflection. She came back a better person and moved back in with me. There were Never any crazy issues during this period. She had more respect for me than ever before.

 

[The Duke]

You don’t appear to understand women. Women thrive in drama and “toxic” emotions - that’s their domain.

Breaking up with her sends her “crazy” because that’s her manifesting extreme desire. Women ultimately want a man who can walk away from her drama and mean it. It sets a hard boundary on her emotionality and that’s what causes her to submit. Submitting a woman is similar to breaking a wild pony.

But I know I’m writing to a brick wall. BluePills can’t comprehend women, by design, and so they write really boring advice about playing a straight bat. It never works.

Pan you have a great understanding of the female mind. Most will never reach your level of understanding nor will they accept your advice. But the keys are there if they accept.

 

[The Duke]

Thanks bro. I think this understanding and knowledge was once universal amongst men. If we can bring it back, men will be stronger and women will be happier.

It’s the solution to all the problems in the world. The women who are around me are very happy, so I know this stuff works. You know, when you see a woman that you’ve truly turned on and she admires you, she opens up like a flower and she’s able to be the woman she’s always wanted to be.

You set women free by treating them in the way that I advocate. They enjoy living in the feminine frame and it’s up to us to build that world where she can safely inhabit her womanhood and be a female to the best of her ability, knowing she’s with a man who knows the score. For women to feel safe being women, she needs to be with a MAN (and I don’t mean the 2022 definition of "Man").

My own girlfriend says stuff exactly like this. And she is definitely not weak minded.

 

[member160292]

Yes I have. Had a live in ltr girlfriend. She was highly invested in me. Great person, good heart, hot, submissive, but had some issues with self control that she needed to work on. I told her she needed to get her own place and work on some of her issues. So she did. I agreed to not see anybody else. I knew she wouldnt. But I was prepared to end things for good if need be. We still talked but it was just casual dating for about 4months. My goal was to get her attention and make her realize she needed to work on her self. She was a 5 when it came to relationship skills and I needed her to be at least a 7. If she did improve then I would still be there and we could move forward. She got some counseling and did a lot of self reflection. She came back a better person and moved back in with me. There were Never any crazy issues during this period. She had more respect for me than ever before.

So, what happens when those issues resurface?
Is it because of her lack of respect or her traits?

If I get a dog from the shelter, I understand that it won't be as how I expected if I were to get it as a puppy. I would rather walk away if these issues really bothered me, instead of creating abandonment concerns with someone I'm considering long-term.

 

[The Duke]

So, what happens when those issues resurface?
Is it because of her lack of respect or her traits?

If I get a dog from the shelter, I understand that it won't be as how I expected if I were to get it as a puppy. I would rather walk away if these issues really bothered me, instead of creating abandonment concerns with someone I'm considering long-term.

Some of the issues did resurface but it was because of her traits and coping skills she had developed over time. It all comes from how one was raised. She did have abandonment issues but I told her I would still be around if she worked thru her issues. She had to trust me. She couldn't put me in the same box as those who helped create those abandonment feelings.

That dog from the shelter has to overcome those same fears.

 

[andreihaha]

You don’t appear to understand women. Women thrive in drama and “toxic” emotions - that’s their domain.

Breaking up with her sends her “crazy” because that’s her manifesting extreme desire. Women ultimately want a man who can walk away from her drama and mean it. It sets a hard boundary on her emotionality and that’s what causes her to submit. Submitting a woman is similar to breaking a wild pony.

But I know I’m writing to a brick wall. BluePills can’t comprehend women, by design, and so they write really boring advice about playing a straight bat. It never works.

Women want a man who could walk away from them, but doesn't do it.
Women want a man who could cheat on her, but doesn't.

Women are turned on by power, not by disrespect.

If she likes you and you like her, stop playing dumb games.
If you're unsure, think about it, don't ask for a break.
If you want to spend time with someone else, break up and start fresh with a clear conscience.