Ungrateful meltdown - I'm fed up now

[john1234]

Sounds like you two have different love languages. However, her conflict management skills are dogsh!t.

Depending on how much you want the relationship, you can either try to talk it out with her or say "You're right, I don't see a future with you either" and show her the door.

I personally find it off putting she tried to play the victim to do what she wants. So that might be a red flag.

Tell her to discuss your differences like an adult or kick her out.

She played the victim perfectly, and was crying about it like I did something bad to her. She is pushy about living together, feel pressured with that.

There are things I'd want her to do, I don't go guilt tripping, manipulating and pressuring her about it. I talk about it like an adult.

 

[Veréngárda]

I'm not denying that there are easier places (I'm from sydney). Unless you plan to move you just have to work with what you got and get the best results possible.

Guys in Sydney and Toronto have to work a lot harder for the same results but it's not impossible.

Most of it is luck. Wake up.

People who manage to "get ahead" without being lucky do exist, sure. But we tend to call them "criminals."

Tldr: Nietzsche was ahead of his ****ing time.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks, I have two that would likely meet. But I have not gone down this route, as everthing had been going well and I don't want to cheat.

And how's that working out? High value men don't cheat. They exercise options. Shout out to the god father. Rip KS.

You aren't doing it right.

Since the dawn of time, man of prestige didn't follow monogamy. That's what women do.

When you put women on ice, they mysteriously fall in line or kindly **** off. Even the most proper ride or die girls need a pair of skates &&& to be put on ice. Kept in check.

****ery seems to disappear real fast when you got options.

 

[RBK]

So the next day she has a meltdown on the way to leave, she is crying, she says that she feels unapprciated by many people but by me too, She says I don't take her to special places, I am not telling her about my financial situation and that she will tell me about every penny she earns (Why should I have to tell you this?), she says even her sisters boyfreind paid for a weekend for them in a non local hotel ( they are not BF & GF , they are friends with benefits, the sister has many of those boys on the spin). She now claims she cannot see her future without me. I suspect the sister is posioning her and is jealous but I keep my frame and keep it to myself.

After the meldown, I'm now drained and fed up. I think she is ungrateful for how she sees things. What started out good has now become stressful and pressurised.

Any insight would help with the drain.

You stood ground, she did what women do which is act like a child having a tantrum. You should of not acknowledged her mini fit and just continued on with your business and she would of fallen back into the submissive role. You as a man should NEVER get rocked emotionally by womens outbursts. Its what they do and it's one of their only tactics they have to use. They FEED off emotion, you as a man are logical and trying to understand womens emotions which is literally IMPOSSIBLE as they change by the minute.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've been dating a young woman

All I needed to read

 

[Dash Riprock]

I've been dating a young woman and it had been going good for almost 12months plus. It had entered the relationship territory. It started off good, she pushed me to meet her family. We have only had one petty argument and it was due to her being clingy and needy. Overtime, I have noticed that she has a very nosey character and is clingy towards me, she usually would like to meet every day but I need space and personal time. She wants to move together and I was fine with that but now it feels too pressured and I don't want to rush it.

Now within the last month, there have been almost two incidents, the first, I called her up on her poor comms and she argued about it, but apologised in the end. I can't remember the second incident. But this weekend, despite how tight things are for everyone, I had put in good effort, prepared a fun weekend for us, and even cooked meals for her, did grocery shopping for us and took her to local places for a walk and to also spent time. When we meet, we usually go to places to have fun. She does not add anything significant to the relationship in my opinnion.

But, a day later she starts being rudely quiet at home, yawning, reluctant conversations only talking when needing to and I just ignored her. Tbh her behaviour had made me start responding to old plates, I found her a turn off and a bore. So at this point, I am fed up and want to get her to leave with her toxic silence so that I can have a friendly normal atmosphere at home . But she is avoiding going home.

So the next day she has a meltdown on the way to leave, she is crying, she says that she feels unapprciated by many people but by me too, She says I don't take her to special places, I am not telling her about my financial situation and that she will tell me about every penny she earns (Why should I have to tell you this?), she says even her sisters boyfreind paid for a weekend for them in a non local hotel ( they are not BF & GF , they are friends with benefits, the sister has many of those boys on the spin). She now claims she cannot see her future without me. I suspect the sister is posioning her and is jealous but I keep my frame and keep it to myself.

After the meldown, I'm now drained and fed up. I think she is ungrateful for how she sees things. What started out good has now become stressful and pressurised.

Any insight would help with the drain.

Simple: call a timeout. Maybe 2-4 weeks. Reevaluate the relationship.

A leopard doesn't change its spots so this is what you're signing up for. Not sure how old she is but she sounds immature. The silent treatment, "take me places" BS would be too much for me to handle. My last LTR found fault with almost everything and couldn't communicate to save her life. When we broke up, it felt like a 800# gorilla (not monkey) was off my back. Thank god.

Good luck to you.

 

[jimwho]

Simple: call a timeout. Maybe 2-4 weeks. Reevaluate the relationship.

I vote this.. Call her and say "I just want you to know we are no longer a couple " and when she begins her freakout
Tell her calmly since you are no longer my girlfriend I am not obligated to listen to your crap. And when she eventually reels you back in that will buy you about two months of her being respectful. Rinse and repeat .

 

[john1234]

I vote this.. Call her and say "I just want you to know we are no longer a couple " and when she begins her freakout
Tell her calmly since you are no longer my girlfriend I am not obligated to listen to your crap. And when she eventually reels you back in that will buy you about two months of her being respectful. Rinse and repeat .

Now,I do try to avoid this!
On my road to become a better man. I say once it's over, it's over, I try to stick to this as best as I can.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Now,I do try to avoid this!
On my road to become a better man. I say once it's over, it's over, I try to stick to this as best as I can.

You’re right, don’t do it lol. Quit trying to domesticate wild animals

 

[john1234]

Simple: call a timeout. Maybe 2-4 weeks. Reevaluate the relationship.

A leopard doesn't change its spots so this is what you're signing up for. Not sure how old she is but she sounds immature. The silent treatment, "take me places" BS would be too much for me to handle. My last LTR found fault with almost everything and couldn't communicate to save her life. When we broke up, it felt like a 800# gorilla (not monkey) was off my back. Thank god.

Good luck to you.

This week was hell with her, it's never been like this before. I felt like I could not breathe. She nullified almost everything and made things awkward and uncomfortable.

Because of all this I reached out to an old plate and she has been responding, not expecting anything more than fun, but I'm trying not to meet this plate and throw away 12month plus relationship.


I need to keep my game tight with this girl, as she thinks she is too hot from a previous conversation

 

[Dash Riprock]

You’re right, don’t do it lol. Quit trying to domesticate wild animals

If it were two weeks, dump her. But he has 12 months in. Unless he or anyone else is 100% "perfect", we all have faults in our game.

Call a timeout and give her an opportunity to address her behavior and your concerns. Make them clear and be cool about it. If she resists, says she's not to blame, etc., THEN dump her.

Most guys here have way too much of a knee-jerk reaction to common female behavior.

You or me or anyone else are not perfect either.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Dump this broad ASAP. There are girls out there who know how to act.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Any insight would help with the drain.

Since she said she can't see a future without you, lay it out.

Tell her exactly what you expect from her, and what you're willing to offer in exchange.

Think about it for a while before having the conversation.

Then tell her it's her choice.

Stay or leave.

 

[Murk]

I get gold-digging vibes, I have never tolerated a "need" to pry into my finances, that coupled with her wanting you to spend more money taking her places, you said she offers nothing, she's played her hand.

 

[dude99]

I've been dating a young woman and it had been going good for almost 12months plus. It had entered the relationship territory. It started off good, she pushed me to meet her family. We have only had one petty argument and it was due to her being clingy and needy. Overtime, I have noticed that she has a very nosey character and is clingy towards me, she usually would like to meet every day but I need space and personal time. She wants to move together and I was fine with that but now it feels too pressured and I don't want to rush it.

Now within the last month, there have been almost two incidents, the first, I called her up on her poor comms and she argued about it, but apologised in the end. I can't remember the second incident. But this weekend, despite how tight things are for everyone, I had put in good effort, prepared a fun weekend for us, and even cooked meals for her, did grocery shopping for us and took her to local places for a walk and to also spent time. When we meet, we usually go to places to have fun. She does not add anything significant to the relationship in my opinnion.

But, a day later she starts being rudely quiet at home, yawning, reluctant conversations only talking when needing to and I just ignored her. Tbh her behaviour had made me start responding to old plates, I found her a turn off and a bore. So at this point, I am fed up and want to get her to leave with her toxic silence so that I can have a friendly normal atmosphere at home . But she is avoiding going home.

So the next day she has a meltdown on the way to leave, she is crying, she says that she feels unapprciated by many people but by me too, She says I don't take her to special places, I am not telling her about my financial situation and that she will tell me about every penny she earns (Why should I have to tell you this?), she says even her sisters boyfreind paid for a weekend for them in a non local hotel ( they are not BF & GF , they are friends with benefits, the sister has many of those boys on the spin). She now claims she cannot see her future without me. I suspect the sister is posioning her and is jealous but I keep my frame and keep it to myself.

After the meldown, I'm now drained and fed up. I think she is ungrateful for how she sees things. What started out good has now become stressful and pressurised.

Any insight would help with the drain.

"What started out good has now become stressful and pressurised.'


This says everything. You were enjoying the fake her in the beginning and now she is letting the real her out and it is in your words
it is stressful and preassurised.

Sounds like you and her are at different places in the relationship. Giving into her after that will reward her bad behaviour which will breed more bad behaviour.

 

[john1234]

I get gold-digging vibes, I have never tolerated a "need" to pry into my finances, that coupled with her wanting you to spend more money taking her places, you said she offers nothing, she's played her hand.

I think these young girls these days are all somewhat gold diggers and think they are entitled to a man spending money on outings for them.

She has bought me stuff and paid one outing bill for us and on a hand full of occasions paid for small less than $20 things.

I have paid and provided more than her though!


But if you think she is a genuinely a typical gold digger? Pls explain, as her asking my exact financial info was just too much, I told her to stick her nose out of it.

 

[Murk]

I think these young girls these days are all somewhat gold diggers and think they are entitled to a man spending money on outings for them.

She has bought me stuff and paid one outing bill for us and on a hand full of occasions paid for small less than $20 things.

I have paid and provided more than her though!


But if you think she is a genuinely a typical gold digger? Pls explain, as her asking my exact financial info was just too much, I told her to stick her nose out of it.

Even the fact she asked your detailed financial info is enough for me. Yes to an extent all women are gold diggers, even if they see you as high potential for future earnings a few years down the line.


“I have paid and provided more than her though!”

That’s the way it goes if you earn way more (being an older guy dating young women) they don’t have money to offer so they need to offer everything else you want from a woman.

Your girl sounds entitled, immature and selfish.

 

[Solomon]

Every day? hold are you OP?

Sounds to me you guys are bf/gf minus the label. I'm like you OP I value my alone time. Unless I'm with a woman I enjoy being around you catch me every day with her heck not even half a week. Personally, I think you should keep her on the back burner and spin other plates

Personally, I don't have the energy either to deal with toxic chicks or chase or anything else My energy is too valuable as I get older and I have no problem walking away from a bad situation (I don't care how hot the girl is or if I have other options or not, my mental health is more important then being with someone who makes me miserable)

 

[john1234]

Every day? hold are you OP?

Sounds to me you guys are bf/gf minus the label. I'm like you OP I value my alone time. Unless I'm with a woman I enjoy being around you catch me every day with her heck not even half a week. Personally, I think you should keep her on the back burner and spin other plates

Personally, I don't have the energy either to deal with toxic chicks or chase or anything else My energy is too valuable as I get older and I have no problem walking away from a bad situation (I don't care how hot the girl is or if I have other options or not, my mental health is more important then being with someone who makes me miserable)

I'm in 30s and she is in 20s. But like you said I do value my alone time, doesn't matter if she is a 10 out of 10.

Miserable feelings is a red flag for me too, mental health is definitely important.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You need to dump her. She is the silent toxic type, arguably the most dangerous. Often its difficult to detect how money motivated such women are. She told you she is with you for the money, i.e. as long as you can afford to entertain her.

Late to this thread but this was exactly my first reaction. Based on OP's first post, this girl sounds extremely entitled and focused on "what can you do for ME" and "you aren't doing enough for me", she wants to know about your financial specifics and tries to compare your spending on her to what other people spend on their GF, she is not bringing value beyond sex to the relationship, and she is a really poor communicator.

I agree with everyone who have said that women are emotional and you have to lead them and basically act like a parent in some ways, but this is WELL beyond that. The gold-digging and entitlement aspects are the biggest red-flags here, even worse than the silent-treatment issue because in my experience, you can sometimes lead women out of their habit of being silently unhappy, but you can NEVER lead women out of being entitled gold-diggers who are constantly unsatisfied, while at the same time doing absolutely nothing for you.

You need to dump her.