LTR Screening & Vetting: Strategies and Techniques

[Steno]

The motivation for thread is because I have been learning and field-testing a lot of things lately and want to keep track of the stuff I learned so that I wont forget. Also I want to continue learning and gathering info so feel free to share your stuff as well. Please only post APPLICABLE screening techniques and explain how you screen for what you screen for. Also keep in mind that this is for LTR only, you shouldn't care for any of this if your just trying to smash. Also this is mainly covering screening for promiscuous traits.

What I Screen for and How:
There are obvious stuff I screen for like tattoos, piercings etc that I won't mention. This is not an exhaustive list, there are infinite ways to do these things. Keep in mind that you should pay attention to the attitude and emotions behind the answers as they tend to be more honest. Also always pry for more detail get her to talk talk talk and never accept ambiguity. Most importantly, screen hard and screen fast, this should ALL BE DONE WITHIN THE FIRST DATE OR EARLIER. The questions and technical components are in blue, the red flags are in red, and if its underlined its an automatic LTR disqualifier, the green flags are in black non-bolded:

• What her social life is like: You are trying to find out if shes a party girl, heavy drinker, smokes weed/does drugs. Good LTR candidates are usually very low key and most normal women rarely if ever drink. Ask her what her hobbies are, if shes outgoing, when was the last time she hung out with her friends and what did they do, how would she describe her friends.
• What her friends are like: Figure out if she has a lot of guy friends or if her female friends are thots. Ask her to describe her closest friends that she hangs out with.
• Ask If shes been on any dates recently: This bullet point piggy back's to the next, but I've noticed that shady women tend to freeze up when trying to answer, they try to buy time by saying "hmmmmm" or by repeating the question. For example they would say something like "Well... to be honest I took a break from dating for a few months so I haven't dated recently" They will also give ambiguous answers and try to avoid, switch or redirect the question back to you before you have the chance to ask for more details. This usually means she was probably ****ing around a lot recently. A good sign is if she answers without hesitation and immediately starts describing stuff that happened on the date without you having to ask.
• How long were her previous relationships and why they ended: Keep an eye out for women who haven't been in any long relationships. Promiscuous women tend to give ambiguous, short, unclear, and generic answers as to why their relationships end. Good LTR candidates have been in long relationships and generally have good detailed and clear explanations to why they all ended. Start of by asking her if shes been on a date recently, from there transition into finding out how long was her longest relationship, why her relationships ended, what is the most common positive/negative trait in men she dates. Pay close attention to how she answers that last question, if she has a habit of dating bad men or painting them in a bad light then she most likely is very promiscuous.
• Does she like to travel: You are trying to figure out if she has gone to "vacation with the girls" to thotty hotspots like vegas, cancun, miami, etc. Good LTR candidates go on vacation with either their spouse or family members but not with a group of thot friends. Ask her if she likes to travel, where has she been, who does she normally go on vacation with, what her favorite vacation destination was and why
• Ask her what are her long term goals: Its a HUGEEE red flag if she doesn't mention anything about relationships in her long term goals or if she gives ambiguous relationship answer like "something serious" or "long term compatability". It should be very specific answer like marriage, starting a family, having x amount of kids etc.

Vetting:
With vetting you are just observing over a long period of time how she holds frame to what you qualified and screened her for and how consistently invested she is to the relationship. Its important to strategically qualify women so you can hold her accountable to those qualities. Keep an eye out for how invested she is, does she reach out to you often, does she make effort to see you, is she expressive with her feelings and affectionate to you, are you having frequent sex. Always be kind and affectionate to her especially if her compliance and investment is high. Do not play games or be aloof, if you aren't interested in her then break things off. 6 months is the minimum duration of dating before she can become official gf, and that is literally from a chick with 0 red flags or 0 bad behavior. Most women I suggest waiting 9 months to a year before you move on to official relationship, also she should be the one asking for it not you. If 4 months have passed since you started dating and she hasn't asked you where its going or dropped obvious hints then something is SERIOUSLY wrong.

Here are some strong indications of a phenomenal LTR candidate:

• You are her main partner for any activities in her life. She STRONGLY prefers to do stuff with you over anyone else
• With the exception of older and wiser people, you are one of her main sources of guidance and advice. She also takes coaching from you for certain things you are good at like maybe you are knowledgeable about fitness etc
• She is SIGNIFICANTLY more devoted to you than she is to her friends. If you are married or have kids with her then she prioritizes you over family as well, with the only exception being her children.
• She should be happy to cut-off people from her life without hesitation if you have a respectful and justifiable conversation explaining why it has to happen
• Her compliance to you is consistently high and there is barely any fights or drama

 

[Gamisch]

Again marriage as endgoal smh...

You could wrote a post twice as long ,but still you'll be a easy target for a woman with a little bit of game. Respect for the effort you put into this, but I am trying to say most women know this is how men screen. Dont underestimate these sloots bro.

Once they've sold themselves according to your list, you'll start investing and then she can gradually decrease her good behaviour.

And because men looking for a LTR, men will keep failing. Women develop their own game too..It feels like a "how to get a guy hooked " post.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I appreciate the OP, but I don’t recommend even looking at a girl for LTR until you’ve been talking for at least two months, you’ve already had sex with her, and most importantly she is the one that brings it up.

Men, that is when the vetting begins.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I appreciate the OP, but I don’t recommend even looking at a girl for LTR until you’ve been talking for at least two months, you’ve already had sex with her, and most importantly she is the one that brings it up.

Men, that is when the vetting begins.

It's easy to vet before,

look at how she treats strangers

her relationship with her parents,

the reason she broke up with ex boyfriends

Look at her friends (if they are hoes, chances are she is one too)

 

[EyeBRollin]

It's easy to vet before,

look at how she treats strangers

her relationship with her parents,

the reason she broke up with ex boyfriends

Look at her friends (if they are hoes, chances are she is one too)

I don’t like it. Most guys don’t have the tact to ask these questions without sounding hard interview. That dries up her pvssy.

“Go with the flow”

 

[Konada]

I disagree with trying to screen everything on a first date. People put up a front and you won't find this out on the first date.

You should be screening during the initial phase of dating and ALSO during the LTR itself. It takes 1-2 years before people fall into complacency and true colors come out. A green flag is when she doesn't take the relationship for granted evem after a long time together.

The benefit here is that as men, we have the luxury of time, women don't. The bad, crazy and ugly will hang themselves with enough time given.

 

[Steno]

Is there a glitch or does this forum not allow you to edit the main post? I forgot to mention that its important to have a casual, non judgmental, non-interrogational vibe when you screen. You have to have good conversational and transitioning skills too. Start with general open ended questions and slowly dive deeper. Bonus: If you want her to open up about sexual topics then is also important to have a confident and sexually experienced vibe, but I haven't tested enough sexual screening stuff to talk about them.

Again marriage as endgoal smh...

You could wrote a post twice as long ,but still you'll be a easy target for a woman with a little bit of game. Respect for the effort you put into this, but I am trying to say most women know this is how men screen. Dont underestimate these sloots bro.

Once they've sold themselves according to your list, you'll start investing and then she can gradually decrease her good behaviour.

And because men looking for a LTR, men will keep failing. Women develop their own game too..It feels like a "how to get a guy hooked " post.

I don't understand what it is that you disagree with, you are either misinterpreting the post or you have a mindset that women lie about everything. Its clearly bolded that investment is one of the most important things you vet for, so why did you interpret that as allow her to misbehave? Also, women aren't generally going to lie about trivial things like what their hobbies are, where they have traveled to, what their friends are like etc . I would argue that its odd to NOT ask questions like these. What questions do you typically ask on a date and what do you usually talk about?

And yes I expect her to lie about her long term goals, when you screen you aren't looking for the right answer, you are just giving her the opportunity to give the wrong ones.

I appreciate the OP, but I don’t recommend even looking at a girl for LTR until you’ve been talking for at least two months, you’ve already had sex with her, and most importantly she is the one that brings it up.

Men, that is when the vetting begins.

You just repeated everything I already said except you decreased the timeframe down to 2 months from 9 months to a year. Reread the vetting section bro lol. I did mention that frequent sex has to be happening and that she has to be the one bringing up the relationship talks like "what are we?" etc.

It's easy to vet before,

look at how she treats strangers

her relationship with her parents,

the reason she broke up with ex boyfriends

Look at her friends (if they are hoes, chances are she is one too)

Agreed 100%

I disagree with trying to screen everything on a first date. People put up a front and you won't find this out on the first date.

You should be screening during the initial phase of dating and ALSO during the LTR itself. It takes 1-2 years before people fall into complacency and true colors come out. A green flag is when she doesn't take the relationship for granted evem after a long time together.

The benefit here is that as men, we have the luxury of time, women don't. The bad, crazy and ugly will hang themselves with enough time given.

I agree that you can't screen for everything on a first date, but you can easily screen for the stuff I put on the bullet points on the first date.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

They will incriminate themselves. I say something about blue collar men. Would only know said facts if getting piped by said men.

0 ****s. Belongs to the street. Pump and dump. The game is catch and release.

 

[Gamisch]

Is there a glitch or does this forum not allow you to edit the main post? I forgot to mention that its important to have a casual, non judgmental, non-interrogational vibe when you screen. You have to have good conversational and transitioning skills too. Start with general open ended questions and slowly dive deeper. Bonus: If you want her to open up about sexual topics then is also important to have a confident and sexually experienced vibe, but I haven't tested enough sexual screening stuff to talk about them.

I don't understand what it is that you disagree with, you are either misinterpreting the post or you have a mindset that women lie about everything. Its clearly bolded that investment is one of the most important things you vet for, so why did you interpret that as allow her to misbehave? Also, women aren't generally going to lie about trivial things like what their hobbies are, where they have traveled to, what their friends are like etc . I would argue that its odd to NOT ask questions like these. What questions do you typically ask on a date and what do you usually talk about?

And yes I expect her to lie about her long term goals, when you screen you aren't looking for the right answer, you are just giving her the opportunity to give the wrong ones.

You just repeated everything I already said except you decreased the timeframe down to 2 months from 9 months to a year. Reread the vetting section bro lol. I did mention that frequent sex has to be happening and that she has to be the one bringing up the relationship talks like "what are we?" etc.

Agreed 100%

I agree that you can't screen for everything on a first date, but you can easily screen for the stuff I put on the bullet points on the first date.

I've dated enough women to know some of them are great oscar worthy actresses. The screening goes both ways. She will screen you and have her list ready as well. a first date is always a meeting between representatives.

The only way to obtain this information is by asking questions. And by asking these type of questions you already show her what cards you are holding. Great way to get played bc a smart woman will adjust accordingly.

If I go on a date I am just trying to have fun . I dont expect nor need a woman fill up any gap expect the sexual part . If she is as amazing as you describe over a long period of time, i might reevaluate her position. And even then I have enough experience to know that a woman can change up at any given moment, so my investment will still be minimal.

 

[Bigpapa]

^^So her being a virgin isn't of any importance to you?

Reason I ask is there are some men here who consider women who've had sex before, even within the context of only LTRs, to be bad quality, slvts, sloots, bad girlfriend/wife material.

those guys tend to be virgin themselves , or close to that …

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP, you still have to try and bang her first to see if and how much she uses sex as a weapon

If you start the interaction being super-scrutinizing you will end up like these women on Match who are on there for years on end...

Zimbabwe's list is good enough for starters. Do the in-depth scrutiny after you bang

If this is your approach already, then nevermind.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

^^So her being a virgin isn't of any importance to you?

Reason I ask is there are some men here who consider women who've had sex before, even within the context of only LTRs, to be bad quality, slvts, sloots, bad girlfriend/wife material.

GTFO with your "look at me" thread derailment bs. The world doesn't revolve around you and neither does this forum.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

One to add to the list:

Does she sleep soundly?

Women who do not sleep well are usually neurotic, it actually also can point at anxiety, borderline personality disorder and other mental conditions. It also can cause many physiological disorders. These are things you want to screen for in LTRs.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

One to add to the list:

Does she sleep soundly?

Women who do not sleep well are usually neurotic, it actually also can point at anxiety, borderline personality disorder and other mental conditions. It also can cause many physiological disorders. These are things you want to screen for in LTRs.

Like insomnia in the guy she's sleeping with, for instance lol

 

[Serenity]

FYI, forcing the black text to black makes it unreadable on the dark forum theme...

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well I’d like to assume we’re talking about what men should look for in women, not what women look for in men. The same rules do not apply in any case.

E.g. in a woman’s eyes a man who’s got ptsd and bad sleep hygiene could have spent 6 months kicking doors in in Fallujah - most women would think that is DHV if you’re a veteran - “he’s a hero, he’s given his pound of flesh and fought the good fight, now his conscience needs healing this is why he cannot sleep.”

Always situational - in a woman it’s a bad thing - period - in men it can be, but men with the right background get a pass…

Like insomnia in the guy she's sleeping with, for instance lol

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I agree with most of this. Especially vetting over a long period of time. First few dates people are rarely themselves.

The main thing to look out for is what she does vs what she says over that period of time, which if we are being honest there is no such thing as vetting phase. You never finish getting to know someone and people tend to change for better or worse.

I do agree that there are certain things a partner should be providing that are not givens like trust, respect, loyalty.

First and foremost, PEACE OF MIND.

Anything that is detrimental to your mental health and masculine energy needs to get ridden of.

Then there are other things that are as important as the first one. Life vision, goals, support, good sex, healthy submission, etc, etc. I wrote about this a while back but ultimately never of this counts if you do not know your worth and have solid standards:

Know Your Worth: Setting Your Relationship Standards | Modern Man Advice

Are you often stuck in unfulfilling relationships with women? Are you constantly being played? The problem might be your woman standards.

www.modernmanadvice.com

If everything in your life is about getting your d*** wet then you will always feel unfulfilled. And trust me, at the end of the day when that time comes lying on your deathbed, no car, job, p***y, watches, Instagram followers, etc, etc will matter.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Thank you for this topic, this is the most neglected part of dating

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I appreciate the OP, but I don’t recommend even looking at a girl for LTR until you’ve been talking for at least two months, you’ve already had sex with her, and most importantly she is the one that brings it up.

Men, that is when the vetting begins.

Good luck vetting after she has given you good box. This is how you end up in toxic relationships/marriages.

This is why men end up in these shvtty relationships or dealing with a toxic woman for life due to having kids because y'all cannot abstain from pvssy. This is what reliable plates and escorts are for, to keep your mind clear and to make better decisions during the selection process. If I didn't have my ole reliable side chick available, I would've fvcked my ex last night that hit me up, but instead I rejected her with absolutely zero regrets.

Y'all talk about being high value men, but a toxic woman can literally destroy your progress in life like that.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Good luck vetting after she has given you good box. This is how you end up in toxic relationships/marriages.

This is why men end up in these shvtty relationships or dealing with a toxic woman for life due to having kids because y'all cannot abstain from pvssy. This is what reliable plates and escorts are for, to keep your mind clear and to make better decisions during the selection process. If I didn't have my ole reliable side chick available, I would've fvcked my ex last night that hit me up, but instead I rejected her with absolutely zero regrets.

Y'all talk about being high value men, but a toxic woman can literally destroy your progress in life like that.

Ok, but if the woman tries to play games with you while you're trying to bang her - despite mutual attraction - that's a sign of a selfish or damaged person. You don't want to wait until you're emotionally invested to find this out.

Ideally you want to be getting laid while you're trying to bang this LTR prospect so you're not susceptible to the common commodity of good pu5sy.