Dating a woman that lives with her boyfriend

[twelveightyone]

I started seeing this woman I met on OLD. Her face was covered on her profile pic, which was a red flag I missed. They cover their face so their boyfriends cant find them on there.

Anyway on the 2nd date she tells me she is in a relationship of 12 years that "doesn't work" anymore, but she lives with him. She claimed that she was planning to tell him, but I don't buy it. She is awesome in the sack but it feels wrong to continue sneaking around her man's back.

Looking for advice from others that have been in and gone through something similar.

 

[DonJuanjr]

She is awesome in the sack but it feels wrong to continue sneaking around her man's back.

Why does it feel wrong for you? Is he a friend or relative? Ask yourself, would he bail you out of jail, or loan you money if you needed it... The answer should tell you whether to feel guilty about it. You're not the one dating him.... You don't owe some random dude loyalty. She isn't his property.

 

[Machine10033]

What do you want from her? That would dictate your response... do you want a relationship with her? On the second date I would be pretty cautious about encouraging her to bail on her relationship. Suddenly she dumps him... and is now looking for a place to stay and a landing spot. I’ve been in this situation many times in the past. I usually withdraw and let the thing end. That’s just me... maybe if I met an 10/10... with a ridiculously high paying job.. and nice family inheritance coming, I might encourage her to boot her boyfriend to the curb

 

[Foe]

Why does it feel wrong for you? Is he a friend or relative? Ask yourself, would he bail you out of jail, or loan you money if you needed it... The answer should tell you whether to feel guilty about it. You're not the one dating him.... You don't owe some random dude loyalty. She isn't his property.

I dont agree with this advise at all. Who cares if you don't know the guy, the fact you have to settle for some chick who has a guy already is the problem. What your getting is a glimpse into any future you think you might have with her. How she treats the guy shes with is how she will treat you. Why be the pathetic backdoor man to some other guy when you can walk in the front door of a chick who isn't so compromised.

 

[Billtx49]

I dont agree with this advise at all. Who cares if you don't know the guy, the fact you have to settle for some chick who has a guy already is the problem. What your getting is a glimpse into any future you think you might have with her. How she treats the guy shes with is how she will treat you. Why be the pathetic backdoor man to some other guy when you can walk in the front door of a chick who isn't so compromised.

Yes, her actions don’t spell quality, and this situation if pursued would make you the in-between, backup, or rebound guy.
You’re right, if she cheats on him she’ll cheat on you…

 

[DonJuanjr]

What your getting is a glimpse into any future you think you might have with her. How she treats the guy shes with is how she will treat you. Why be the pathetic backdoor man to some other guy when you can walk in the front door of a chick who isn't so compromised.

Why does every interaction with a woman need to lead to white picket fence long term relationships? Who says OP just doesn't want a piece of a$$. One could argue that he's the desirable lover getting her best sex for minimal investment, and the other guy is getting the provider star fish sex with a high cost attached.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Why does every interaction with a woman need to lead to white picket fence long term relationships? Who says OP just doesn't want a piece of a$$. One could argue that he's the desirable lover getting her best sex for minimal investment, and the other guy is getting the provider star fish sex with a high cost attached.

Get an escort. It's quicker, less immoral, and cheaper...

 

[DonJuanjr]

Get an escort. It's quicker, less immoral, and cheaper...

Not everyone lives in a jurisdiction that is lenient on prostitution. The consequences could far out weight that of just banging a chick for free that happens to have a boyfriend. I don't understand this need for loyalty to total strangers...It's good to know that I can count on you to bail me out of jail if I need it... In fact, I need to borrow some money, I can count on your loyalty to me to help me out right? If not, why should I care about banging your girlfriend? You don't have loyalty to me, why should I have loyalty to you?

Edit: And the opposite is true. I'm not willing to lend you money or bail you out of jail, so I don't have any expectations of you being loyal to me, and not banging my girlfriend.

 

[bmp2cpm]

12 years and she couldn’t get the guy to fully commit?

She couldn’t find a replacement guy in real life either? This girl is not a quality woman.

This a simply question of opportunity cost.

The time you spend on this one, is time you’re not spending on quality women.

 

[DonJuanjr]

The time you spend on this one, is time you’re not spending on quality women.

Wouldn't "quality" be contextual to his intentions?

 

[Gamisch]

I agree and disagree with alot posts. Let me explain;

Every woman is taking. I am sorry, but in this day and age you'll be hard pressed to find a woman whose not seeing someone, or had something (fwb , lurking ex ect) going on.

12years imo, is such a long time that cheating just it's bound to happen. OP just was there at the right time, also let's give some credit to OP that he has a substantial SMV, enough to persuade her to do this.

So it's a double edged sword. On one hand she is capable of doing a LTR ,and let's say OP could enjoy many years of her being faithful m. Other hand it's a hars reality check, after some time the spark is gone and she will look elsewhere for that spark. But tell me, what woman won't do that?all it takes is the download of an app.

OP should just hit it , enjoy the ride and use this as a confidence boost of needed. And imo most importantly; swallow this redpill amd be aware of what's going on in the real world, every day life shyt.

 

[Foe]

Not everyone lives in a jurisdiction that is lenient on prostitution. The consequences could far out weight that of just banging a chick for free that happens to have a boyfriend. I don't understand this need for loyalty to total strangers...It's good to know that I can count on you to bail me out of jail if I need it... In fact, I need to borrow some money, I can count on your loyalty to me to help me out right? If not, why should I care about banging your girlfriend? You don't have loyalty to me, why should I have loyalty to you?

Your either part of the problem or part of the solution. All the simps inflating woman's ego is the problem all the alphas dismissing them is the solution. You screwing some guys girl means you are part of the problem where as the guy who wouldn't touch a girl in a relationship and ultimately holds woman accountable lifts society in general. See some waste of the street pick it up or dont and live in filth....its your choice....I know what world I would rather live in and am willing to "sacrifice" what I need to in order to support it.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Your either part of the problem or part of the solution. All the simps inflating woman's ego is the problem all the alphas dismissing them is the solution. You screwing some guys girl means you are the problem to the answer which is the guy who wouldn't touch a girl in a relationship which ultimately holds woman accountable and lifts society in general. See some waste of the street pick it up and live in filth....its your choice....I know what world I would rather live in and am willing to "sacrifice" what I need to in order to support it.

One could argue the goals of being a Don Juan is part of the "problem" with the current state of females in society. How many alpha widows are being created that are unable to bond? Since guys that are killing it are not willing to just settle for the betterment of society, I'm not going to be a sexual martyr.

 

[Gamisch]

One could argue the goals of being a Don Juan is part of the "problem" with the current state of females in society. How many alpha widows are being created that are unable to bond? Since guys that are killing it are not willing to just settle for the betterment of society, I'm not going to be a sexual martyr.

Yeah and then it circles back to "what decision did the alpha widow made to even gain that title "?.

All cliches are applicable then( female book pages !!!); Attraction is not a choice, 10 percent of men f 90 of women , slvt shaming is out of the question nowadays ,reptile brain, pre selection ect.

She made an OLD profile with clear intentions, OP just matched and dated her. Lord knows she met ten guys before him, who tried to preach her and declined, we all know she get so many D offers ...she just waits for number 11 to fold.or nr 12 or 13 ect. That a big IF. Bottom line is , no man could talk her back to her man and make her work on her current relationship if she wants D from someone else.

But I do feel you to my bones tbh. It's a messed up vicious circle amd somehow we are part of the problem.

 

[BuckledWheel]

A few years ago I turned down my next door neighbour for very similar reasons. She was hot & wanted it so bad. We were in her car & she more or less offered herself up. We had been mildly flirting up to that point. Her husband was a great guy & after a little soul searching I turned her down & told her why. She has never spoken to me from it. I still kick myself today for not tapping her. You win some you lose some. Spin her as long as possible, if she’s not screwing you, she’s gonna screw someone else. That’s a fact.

 

[SW15]

Many years ago, I went on a swipe app arranged date with a woman. She and her supposedly live in boyfriend had broken up a few weeks earlier, but she had yet to move out of their shared living space. I found that disturbing. She could have gone to an extended stay hotel. My goal was an extended relationship at the time. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong place. In fact, looking for more than solely casual sex on an app is a bad idea. At least the date cost me zero dollars as it was a walk on a path.

I'm guessing that woman was just looking to bang. In that case, I might have missed an opportunity.

 

[AttackFormation]

One could argue the goals of being a Don Juan is part of the "problem" with the current state of females in society. How many alpha widows are being created that are unable to bond? Since guys that are killing it are not willing to just settle for the betterment of society, I'm not going to be a sexual martyr.

Sexual martyr hahaha

 

[spred]

Don't hit it even if she may cheat with another guy. You enable her behavior and also drive the price of poosy up for everyone else. She would cheat with you, return to the bf to work it out, and definitely cheat again in the future.

 

[SW15]

One could argue the goals of being a Don Juan is part of the "problem" with the current state of females in society. How many alpha widows are being created that are unable to bond? Since guys that are killing it are not willing to just settle for the betterment of society, I'm not going to be a sexual martyr.

Don Juans are busy enjoying the decline. Most women are already unable to bond by the time most individual Don Juans meet them.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Man, I love banging girls with boyfriends and not worry about pregancies. But I would never give exclusivity to them, just bang until it lasts.