My last thread talked about this girl I met on fb dating that I am starting to see. I really like her but I think she wants something exclusive. She had said before she doesn't want to share. What is the best way to tell her that I want to see her but want to keep my options open?
How to tell a girl you don't want to be exclusive
- Thread starter TonyJ78
- Start date
AttackFormation
Master Don Juan
To say exactly that.
Hi Tony,
At some point al FWB will ask for exclusivity if she becomes too attached, if she doesn't become attached she will usually drift to another guy and you'll get ghosted. All we can do is prolong the time until the ghosting comes.
Try to express your disinterest in a relationship with your body language.
1. Plan your dates for the same night and not too far ahead - if you plan too much you come across as reliable and stable
2. Don't talk about building a future with her e.g. don't talk about mortgages, buying a house, holidays etc
3. Don't bring up your family or give her insight into your family dynamics
4. Avoid introducing her to your friends and decline invites to meet her friends
5. If the subject of marriage or kids comes up say you don't want either
If she asks you explicitly for exclusivity, then I would either avoid the question or be honest but tactfully. Something like "I don't want the responsibility of having a girlfriend at this stage of my life". Don't try and justify your answer and stay firm.
Basically you are creating red flags, if she stick around she will know its only casual...but as I said before she will eventually ghost you for someone who will commit.
Well ****.
1. I actually have planned our dates 3 or 4 days in advance.
2. I haven't, but she has
3. I've mentioned my family a couple times. And told her that I've been separated from my wife for 8 months but that we're still good friends
4. I almost had her come out to a bar I hang out at. And she invited me to go meet her friend but I said I couldn't on that day.
5. She knows I don't want either.
The thing is though, she's the only girl I'm seeing right now and I really like her so I don't want to push her to the point where she ghosts me.
It seems like you're doing most things right, point 3 - you can use the separation from your wife as an excuse to not pursue anything serious.
"You know I recently separated from my wife so I am not ready for a serious relationship yet"
"I am going through a divorce so I won't be emotionally available until its finalised"
"This separation stuff has left me feeling that relationships are not for me"
"I was with my wife so long that I want to use this time to stay single and discover myself"
Also your actions have to be congruent with your words, so maintain a distance whilst not alienating her too much.
You mentioned that she is the only person you're seeing. Maybe seeing a second lady casually might create a natural distance between you and the first lady?
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
You really don't have to say anything... the woman is the one that decides if she wants to lock you down. If you don't want to be locked down, then you just don't go along with it.
The problem with too many dudes on this site is that they are trying to figure out how to string a chick along. So they are looking for 'tricks and techniques" to make this happen. Then what happens is that dating becomes work... and it is no longer fun. There is little difference between a man that is twisting himself into a pretzel to make a wife or GF happy, and the guy that twists himself into a pretzel to keep the "plates spinning".
If she wants a relationship, and you don't... then you just have to let her go. She might come back: more than likely she won't. But do this early on before you start misleading her and you do not create an enemy.
You have to find women that want that you want... granted there are not many chicks out there that want to 'play the field' but they are out there, and you just have to date a lot to find them... but understand that eventually if she likes you, even these will push for exclusivity... when that happens you have to let her go as well.
To do this effectively you have to be able to (1) Dump chicks (2) Be okay with the fact that you a a plate she is spinning.
The problem with too many dudes on this site is that they are trying to figure out how to string a chick along. So they are looking for 'tricks and techniques" to make this happen. Then what happens is that dating becomes work... and it is no longer fun. There is little difference between a man that is twisting himself into a pretzel to make a wife or GF happy, and the guy that twists himself into a pretzel to keep the "plates spinning".
If she wants a relationship, and you don't... then you just have to let her go. She might come back: more than likely she won't. But do this early on before you start misleading her and you do not create an enemy.
You have to find women that want that you want... granted there are not many chicks out there that want to 'play the field' but they are out there, and you just have to date a lot to find them... but understand that eventually if she likes you, even these will push for exclusivity... when that happens you have to let her go as well.
To do this effectively you have to be able to (1) Dump chicks (2) Be okay with the fact that you a a plate she is spinning.
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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Tell her you do not do monogamy. Be prepared to lose her.
The alternative is to create a difficult list of demands. This may buy you a couple more weeks. Some negotiations to include are her getting off social media, access to her phone password, and telling her flat out that you aren’t good at monogamy thus might step out from time to time.
The alternative is to create a difficult list of demands. This may buy you a couple more weeks. Some negotiations to include are her getting off social media, access to her phone password, and telling her flat out that you aren’t good at monogamy thus might step out from time to time.
Yup, working on that one. I'm going out of town next weekend and she offered to go along but I didnt say anything. She said... unless you're going to pick up a woman. Then said... that's cool but she better be hotter than me. Lol