7 yrs Celibate at 35

[SH03C]

I’m beginning to find myself in bad place. Adhering to black pill ideology and being quite wreck-less with all forms of social interaction, but more so with women via social and dating apps.

The last several years of celibacy have been predicated on being heavily medicated, the meds I was on made me a shell of myself. I began to isolate and remove all friends except those on Xbox. My life became consumed with these interactions as the meds I was on had a severe impact on my hormones and it kept me in a state of finding all the fulfillment I needed from video games or trading crypto and earning money.

At the end of August 2021 my primary doctor advised that I discontinue these meds that had been prescribed from my gastroenterologist. After the three month period it took for the meds to be fully removed from my system I found myself in a deep depression as I began to realize how messed up the meds made me for the last 5.5 years. My rationality began to return and I found it difficult to grasp how much damage and lost time I’d had from isolating over the prior 5 some years. It’s unlike any life challenge I could ever imagine. These meds really messed up my perception.

Now today I am struggling with this depression and all the missed opportunities and lost friendships. It quite literally is unfathomable.

More so I began to chat with a female via OLD about a month ago and that ended after one brief meetup. She later explained that there was no physical attraction and she was also seeing someone else. It’s only added onto my depression.

I’m now in fear of continuing on a wreckless path of black pill and I don’t know how to remove myself from this ideology. I very much want to be the upbeat and social person I was prior but have no idea where to begin. Females seem to do more harm to my mindset but bc of the many missed years of irrationality I feel a level of haste to link up with a girl and begin the next stage of my life. Never would I ever think I’d be 7 years celibate. I need to break this cycle and become myself again.. but how the fvck do I get there.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Didn't read a single word of that Essay, just hit the gym and start approaching chicks.

It's not rocket science

 

[SH03C]

Didn't read a single word of that Essay, just hit the gym and start approaching chicks.

It's not rocket science

Do appreciate the encouragement

 

[corrector]

I am 8 years celibate so I beat you by one year. Also at least 30% or more of guys are celibate these days because the blackpill is real, so its not that big of a deal.

 

[Chuck Taylor]

Didn't read a single word of that Essay, just hit the gym and start approaching chicks.

It's not rocket science

I like the advice, but gyms are a waste of money. You're paying money to lift things, and to run. You can do both those things outside, for free.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You have two choices.

The first is continue living in the past and looking in the rearview mirror and the second is to leave the past in the past, accept reality as it is, acknowledge the decisions you made and actively choose to create a better present and future for yourself.

You can choose one or the other, but never both.

 

[SoSuave666]

This is a serious issue. You are 35, not exactly a spring chicken. You have been conditioned and drugged into the wrong frame of mind. A state of sedation. Never a good thing. on top of that, no secks.

you have to change your mind. No easy task my friend. I recommend self healing first. Meditation, weight lifting, following your passions. You aren’t ready for women yet and every rejection you get will make it worse.

time to let yourballs drop and be the man you were meant to be.

 

[lost_blackbird]

48 years old. Celibate from age 21-28 then had a LONG relationship culminating in marriage and then a divorce.
Currently approaching a futher 3 years celibate since the separation of my wife and I and honestly, I couldn't care
less. I have absolutely ZERO motivation to change anything about that. I'm quite content with a timely fap and then
a return to the peace of my very solitary life.

 

[Robert28]

You don’t have to join a gym, but I’d suggest exercising in some form or fashion. Don’t run, you don’t need to become “runner skinny”. Do push-ups, challenge yourself to do 3 sets to failure EVERY NIGHT for a month. If you want, do it every other night. But just keep trying to beat what you did the time before. I have to workout, I would be a freaking nutcase if I didn’t after dealing with all the bull crap I have from women.

 

[BadBoy89]

The answer to EVERY problem with women is:

- hit the gym
- eat right
- plenty of sleep
- drink lots of water
- dress well

More so I began to chat with a female via OLD about a month ago and that ended after one brief meetup. She later explained that there was no physical attraction and she was also seeing someone else. It’s only added onto my depression.

What the hell? If she was seeing someone else why did she come meet you?

 

[Barrister]

OP,

No offense, but you act like you are 65 instead of 35. If you get your sh1t straight you are actually in a great spot to slay women when you are in your mid thirties - much more so than in your 20s. Others have already told you to get yourself into the gym - which you need to do pronto. Your biggest thing is just having a better mindset in general. Don’t dwell on how much the meds have made you waste the last 5 years. Instead, be positive about how you’re off of them now and you can make the next 5 years the best in your life - not just with women but in all facets.

Good luck, brother.

 

[SH03C]

OP,

No offense, but you act like you are 65 instead of 35. If you get your sh1t straight you are actually in a great spot to slay women when you are in your mid thirties - much more so than in your 20s. Others have already told you to get yourself into the gym - which you need to do pronto. Your biggest thing is just having a better mindset in general. Don’t dwell on how much the meds have made you waste the last 5 years. Instead, be positive about how you’re off of them now and you can make the next 5 years the best in your life - not just with women but in all facets.

Good luck, brother.

Good advice. I’ve been pretty consistent at the gym 3-4 times a week over the last 6 weeks. Have seen good results too.

All in all - just feeling outmatched with the dating scene and anxious to move into something physically. The recent OLD chick knocked me down a bit. I guess I’m really just trying to find some direction with getting reacquainted in dating and approach.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Can I ask, what exactly is wrong with being celibate? It's absolutely no reflection of the person abstaining.

 

[SH03C]

Can I ask, what exactly is wrong with being celibate? It's absolutely no reflection of the person abstaining.

I see it as a barrier to finding comfort around females. Unable to establish a connection with one seems to make it difficult to establish a connection with females in general.

Im also interested in having children one day so serves little purpose there too.

 

[Barrister]

Can I ask, what exactly is wrong with being celibate? It's absolutely no reflection of the person abstaining.

There is nothing "wrong" with it. It isn't immoral to be celibate. However, most men want to have sex with females. So I would say it is rare for a man to be celibate voluntarily. But if you are happy with it then that is fine - just don't make the assumption that this is something most other men want. Because they don't.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Just do stuff you would actually enjoy regardless of company an invite a girl to tag along. Be outcome inddiferent with regards to the girl. If the girl was not that into you it dosent matter because you enjoyed the date anyways.

 

[SH03C]

I'm perfectly confident with women I meet day to day, charming, cheeky and sometimes a little outrageous, shop girls especially
seem to love me. Mainly I'm being polite and friendly because they are at work and it's just decent to treat people decently.
But I just don't understand this drive other guys seem to have where many seem like they would sell their own mother just to
get a lay, oftentimes regardless of the woman involved being either a basket case or a munter, sometimes both. I can't see how
anyone can get it up for a woman they aren't into. I certainly can't. I'm no dime but I'm doing all right for a fella my age, no kids,
house paid for, no debt, employed, six figures in savings, a decent car, motorcycle, (after 10 years as a property developer whilst
I was married) I'm very confident using tools and building stuff. In fact I'm part way through building myself a large wooden motorcycle storage shed in my yard as we speak. Did the whole job singlehandedly (no friends to help) from digging out to make a slab,
making said slab, running cables and connecting electrics to my house, designing planning and hand building the whole thing,
all working outdoors of course. Proper manly stuff! Most young fellas today wouldn't have a clue where to start such a project.
It doesn't get much more manly than turning a large pile of wood into a huge shed/workshop for your loud, fast fire spitting
motorcycle. Can post pics of shed if proof reqd... Am I no Chad but have been told I'm attractive over the years by women of all
ages, more times that it could be dismissed as coincidental so there must be some truth to it. I don't think I'm all that but I have
enough self awareness to recognise my advantages. I am a 6 footer, visible abs (from work and a restrained diet not the gym)
and in good general health, green eyes, tanned. Being 100% honest my teeth could be better but they are my worst feature and
probably why I rarely smile. I'm in a program to improve things there but it's very expensive and hard to get appointments at
the moment but I do have a prosthetic toothy thing now which has improved my smile game a bit. Tats and a rocker kinda style,
not everyone's cuppa sure.... But I do have a market value with some women who are into such things.


Socially awkwardness is on 10 though as I don't crave company whatsoever and entirely prefer solitude, and I mean solitude.
That's the Asperger's doing it's great work as usual. I don't enjoy loud, busy places or large groups. Never have, it's not just
me being an old git. I'm not comfortable in places like that at all. Even if I know everybody there. Upshot is I actively
avoid other people, I work with a great deal of people in a noisy warehouse and cant wait to get out of there and home again
as soon as my shift is over. I've spent any social energy I have masking at work and am just happy to sit in my kitchen surfing
the web whenever I'm not there.

So I'm not perfect but I'd at least claim a "Decent" grade so why should I settle for a lunatic or a troglodyte? Just to obtain
the same sensation I can pretty much mimic identically with a 5 minute fap? I may make the effort for someone who is "MY"
version of exceptional, but if that opportunity doesn't present itself organically then meh, I will not chase it. I grew up in NE
London so you'll have to imagine my accent but I've always had this saying, "Is the shag worth the 'agg?" My internal calculator
usually computes in a few seconds that it isn't in most cases so honestly speaking I'm more than happy to wait as long as is
necessary for the right woman to show up. If she doesn't then in my mind it wasn't meant to be and I'm alright with it never
happening. Been married, now divorced. Boxes ticked. It's not like I've never loved and been loved. In my experience on
balance the two years plus split process was way more painful than the 18 years together ever were.

As much as I do enjoy learning about others I’m not sure what the purpose of your reply here is. It seems you’re trying to sell yourself, but I’m not the right audience.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Deleted.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP i would advise enlisting the services of a local brothel and quickly

Get the motor going again so to speak......after that then yea you are going to have to put yourself out there and eat sh1t

much like we all do .....there are good girls out there i was with one for nearly 5 years but there is also a lot of crap

More so I began to chat with a female via OLD about a month ago and that ended after one brief meetup. She later explained that there was no physical attraction and she was also seeing someone else. It’s only added onto my depression.

This is a start but instead of taking anything positive from it I.E ive actually gone and met a real woman you are putting a negative spin on it because it didn't work out

 

[SH03C]

Well said. I’ve never been into smashing fatties but may have to bend the standard here.

Certainly need to be more upbeat, that’s for sure.