Day 1 for me, after a bizarre experience. Was seeing a pretty slvtty woman for about 7 months, the first 8 of which were very casual, we'd meet maybe every 3 weeks or so, hook up, chat a bit in between not every day though..basically fwb. She had various others, no problem. About 4 months in she started showing signs of having some feelings, and we started meeting more often and chatting a lot more, then about the 5 to 6 month point she asked about having a relationship, something never mentioned before. Suddenly she changed and became much more friendly, and happy, and at month 6 I said ok let's give it ago! This is where it all went insane for the following and final 4 weeks. It culminated with me making a joke about her cheating on me, and instead of laughing she looked frozen for a second and I knew it had happened. But she refused for 2 hours to admit it, making all sorts of excuses for the hesitation, and I gave up. At the end of the night she said it was because she had slept with her neighbour just before we got together and felt guilty. Fair enough, but I was annoyed she hadn't said so earlier. Anyway, the next day I woke to a message admitting it wasn't then, it was the night before! No Apology, just loads of excuses about how she had been depressed and just had to get out of the house as she was having an emotional meltdown and wanted to self harm, and it was the only place she could go to be safe and it just happened. She was right, there was an hour gap in the messages that night and she admitted leaving the house straight after messaging me, then messaging again for a while straight on returning. I was pretty taken aback and as we talked she admitted that she'd realised she was going to do it, to feel better, and messaged before and after "to cover myself so you wouldn't guess...because I didn't want you to be hurt" Thanks! She also said she thinks she might have bpd, was high on drugs at work a lot of the time, and acted crazy and a bit violent. "I need lies and secrets in my life to feel in control, but I don't want to be like that so it won't ever happen again". Of course, I couldn't accept that or spend my life wondering, and so it was over. What was interesting was the total lack of remorse, just sorry it had caused an argument. She went from 'it just happened' to 'i deliberately covered it up and did it because I wanted to but I feel guilty now so won't do it again". She said "What I want ideally is to be free to do what I want, and you to be monogamous..but I know I can't". No apology or real remorse, it was crazy. I miss her but I'm glad I found out so early what she is really like, and there was no going back. She wanted a relationship so I wouldn't leave, not because she actually wanted it! And kind of admitted that. Frustrating though, it was all great until she decided to make a relationship of it and then ruin everything.
