How am I meant to cope at 5'4?

[DonJuanjr]

It's the shorter women too who are the worst, I know a few too who flat out refuse to date a man under 6 feet, it's so silly to.me.

It's not even about looks, it's a mental thing about feeling "small and feminine" with him, such a load of BS.

Were they chubby/fat?

 

[Genetic Error]

Oh stop it. Did you read my previous post about my 5'4" boss, the lawyer with a knockout wife?

I'd go 5'4" if he had a great toned physique and great energy, which you or any man has control of. .

I'd have to meet him and be attracted to him for those reasons, I would not rule ANY man out on height alone.

Stop being such a defeatist it's not a good look. Way WAY worse than being 5'4".

what do you mean by great energy?

 

[SW15]

For every anecdote, there is an equal and opposite anecdote.

Had two recent LTRs with White women with BA’s (one 5’2”) We live in a highly populated area.
My GF is 5’. One of my LTRs was 5’1”.

I’m well under 6’.

Most women 5'0"-5'3" have reasonable expectations about height but there is a vocal minority of short, educated, white women in big cities who are obnoxious about things.

In fact I'm thinking of a man right now, he's around 5'7" and has HUGE, um, hands. Lol

I was at a party in freshman year of college at an off campus house and a 5'7" guy randomly pulled down his pants to show off his erection and it was HUGE. It did look like a porn star penis. I think everyone at that party was surprised that he did that and that it was big.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most women 5'0"-5'3" have reasonable expectations about height but there is a vocal minority of short, educated, white women in big cities who are obnoxious about things.

Perhaps, they eliminate me. And I eliminate them?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The average height of a man in the United States is 5'9".

The demographic that seems to be the fussiest about height is non-Hispanic white women. To be more specific, it is often non-Hispanic white women with a BA/BS degree or higher living in metro areas with populations over 750,000.

The white women I just described above tend to give strong preference to men 6'0" and over. Many flat out reject men under 6'0". This is most commonly seen on swipe apps. In the real world, it can be difficult to tell the difference between 5'11" and 6'1".

I have known multiple women under 5'2" who refused all men under 6'0". One was in my social circle before moving away and one was a former co-worker.

That is cool that you don't flat out dismiss all men under 6'0".



When women are thinking about 6'0"+ men, they aren't thinking about the gawky men.

I would also say that if one is White, Hispanic women are much more likely to find you attractive. Irrespective of height.

 

[B80]

For me that would mean confident, creative, bold, funny, even a bit brash.

A certain charisma and charm which comes from high confidence.

Prince had great energy and style.

He was 5'3" and dated some of the most beautiful famous women in the world, women who could date anyone.

Kim Basinger at her peak quit Hollywood to live with him.

Honestly and I don't mean to be harsh but it's not your height that turns off women. I think men like to use that excuse to avoid looking within.

It's the poor me, I'm too short attitude. Not sure what you can do to change it but I would try.

Perhaps you can get in the best physical shape of your life and change your style, but also more importantly change your mindset.

Start seeing the glass half full instead of half empty.

Experiment with changing your approach and pay attention to the results.

Make changes as necessary and observe.

I do attract a lot of men and it's not just looks. A lot of what I learned comes from experimenting with different responses and how I interact with men.

I've made mistakes but I LEARNED. Now it all comes naturally, I don't even think about it.

As a man, you can do the same.

Exactly, a lot of it comes down to presence, vibe, confidence, masculinity etc.

All things being equal, being tall is no doubt an advantage, but rarely are all things equal.

Like you say, I've known plenty of 6"2+ awkward, geeky type men and theres no way they're having success with decent looking women. I also know/knew men under 5"6 who do extremely well with women, including night club/bar environments.

If you don;t have a strong personality, decent looks, physique or status, you will struggle as a short guy - but you also would as a tall chap too.

 

[Striker_93]

I feel you, but you only have 2 options, willow in self pity and have a "woe it's me" attitude and live a life of mediocrity and pain OR learn to embrace your shortcomings(no pun intended)

We all have insecurities and things we don't like about ourselves but you better learn to deal with it and embrace it, ask yourself what you think the more manly thing to do is.......

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Guys who are under 5'8 or so definitely have a disadvantage, and if you're 5'4 you really did get the short end of the stick (no pun intended).

I say this as someone who is a hair over 6', too. I remember once I talked to a 6' woman on OLD who literally insulted my height when I made a joke about her wearing high heels around me (she straight up sent "hahaha you think you're tall?" and unmatched me). Self-centered/solipsistic/BPD women literally do not see other shorter men as human beings.

Sure, mindset can change things, and not all women care about height - but men who insist people like OP just need to "be different" are missing the point - it's still a huge disadvantage to overcome. It goes without saying that, wealth, status, charm, CAN overcome it, but to deny they don't have an innate disadvantage is just dumb.

That said, if I had to pick between being 5'4 and having a 7.5" **** or being 6'3 with a 2" ****, I'd probably pick the former. All I can say is be grateful for what you have.

 

[Lotus Effect]

@Genetic Error

Bro

if you came here for validation, than I have to politely tell you to fvck off.

Stop whining.

Everyone here is pointing you in many other directions, but you are still whining, after a 5 pages long post.

Im been short throughout my whole life. It certainly left some scars on me from my childhood.

But I live a pretty good life, specially after I found this community

I know I have to deal with my own shlt
I’m in control of my life

I’m 1,69m
My 2 former exes were taller than me. Wasn’t a problem

I make a 6 figure yearly income
I’m national head of sales in my company
People not only respect me, but they like me

It’s not about my height. It’s about my attitude

get a grip of yourself man

 

[Lotus Effect]

Sure, mindset can change things, and not all women care about height - but men who insist people like OP just need to "be different" are missing the point - it's still a huge disadvantage to overcome. That said, wealth, status, charm, CAN overcome it, but to deny they don't have an innate disadvantage is just dumb.

Sorry bro

it is not dumb

dumb is someone who calls himself a master dom Juan validating stupid shlt like this

my best mate is about 1,59m
His nickname is fvcking dwarf

is this a problem. No

always with a new chick
Focused on his body (got bulk)
Focused on his career (senior art coordinator at Coca Cola)

and now he is married
With an awesome girl
She is pregnant with his child

life goes on

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Sorry bro

it is not dumb

dumb is someone who calls himself a master dom Juan validating stupid shlt like this

my best mate is about 1,59m
His nickname is fvcking dwarf

is this a problem. No

always with a new chick
Focused on his body (got bulk)
Focused on his career (senior art coordinator at Coca Cola)

and now he is married
With an awesome girl
She is pregnant with his child

life goes on

The website puts that title for people based on post count, I didn't put that lmao.

I never said a short man cannot be succesful with women. My point was that to pretend it's NOT a significant disadvantage is dumb. That said, worrying or complaining about it IS dumb, since there is nothing you can do about it. However I do still think OP deserves sympathy because if you're short AND have psychological problems, you really will be treated as subhuman.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Interesting that this thread has 6+ pages. And I’ll bet very few SSers are 5’4” or below. I’ll admit I really have no legit advice to give. As OP’s issues are alien to me (though I am on the short side).

 

[biggoal]

Guys who are under 5'8 or so definitely have a disadvantage, and if you're 5'4 you really did get the short end of the stick (no pun intended).

I say this as someone who is a hair over 6', too. I remember once I talked to a 6' woman on OLD who literally insulted my height when I made a joke about her wearing high heels around me (she straight up sent "hahaha you think you're tall?" and unmatched me). Self-centered/solipsistic/BPD women literally do not see other shorter men as human beings.

Sure, mindset can change things, and not all women care about height - but men who insist people like OP just need to "be different" are missing the point - it's still a huge disadvantage to overcome. It goes without saying that, wealth, status, charm, CAN overcome it, but to deny they don't have an innate disadvantage is just dumb.

That said, if I had to pick between being 5'4 and having a 7.5" **** or being 6'3 with a 2" ****, I'd probably pick the former. All I can say is be grateful for what you have.

If she was 6 ft on old she was probably 5 foot 10. Women beef up their height on old just like us men.

 

[zekko]

Here's a thought. If your height really bothers you that much, there are some countries where the average height for men is much lower than it is in the US. This link has a chart which breaks it down by gender, maybe one would appeal to you?

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-height-by-country

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If she was 6 ft on old she was probably 5 foot 10. Women beef up their height on old just like us men.

Yep. My last ex claimed 5’5”. No way! Another ex- claimed 5’2”. She finally admitted to 5’1”. I fudge an inch. I’ll allow the same with girls.

 

[biggoal]

Yep. My last ex claimed 5’5”. No way! Another ex- claimed 5’2”. She finally admitted to 5’1”. I fudge an inch. I’ll allow the same with girls.

2 to 3 inches on old is typical for most guys.

In sports its quite common, especially football and hockey to add height and weight. Nhl 6 ft and under they typically add at least two inches to height. Football also.

Brad Marchand is listed 5 ft 9 but he's 5 ft 6 at the most this from fans who've met him. Martin St. louis also said they bumped his height up when he was drafted two inches were added.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

2 to 3 inches on old is typical for most guys.

In sports its quite common, especially football and hockey to add height and weight. Nhl 6 ft and under they typically add at least two inches to height. Football also.

Brad Marchand is listed 5 ft 9 but he's 5 ft 6 at the most this from fans who've met him. Martin St. louis also said they bumped his height up when he was drafted two inches were added.

3”!!! Damn.

 

[B80]

Guys who are under 5'8 or so definitely have a disadvantage, and if you're 5'4 you really did get the short end of the stick (no pun intended).

I say this as someone who is a hair over 6', too. I remember once I talked to a 6' woman on OLD who literally insulted my height when I made a joke about her wearing high heels around me (she straight up sent "hahaha you think you're tall?" and unmatched me). Self-centered/solipsistic/BPD women literally do not see other shorter men as human beings.

Sure, mindset can change things, and not all women care about height - but men who insist people like OP just need to "be different" are missing the point - it's still a huge disadvantage to overcome. It goes without saying that, wealth, status, charm, CAN overcome it, but to deny they don't have an innate disadvantage is just dumb.

That said, if I had to pick between being 5'4 and having a 7.5" **** or being 6'3 with a 2" ****, I'd probably pick the former. All I can say is be grateful for what you have.

Yeah it is a disadvantage, particularly as its one that can;t be changed as such. But, unless you're really unattractive facially, there is evidence on here and from what I;ve seen that short guys can still get laid in the west.

Tall guys certainly don;t have it on easy street (assuming most aren't male models). You may get pass on height, but if not good looking, confident, smooth, high status, women will still regularly reject you. I'm saying this from experience as being 6"2, ripped, above average looks etc.

I do empaphise with OP though, must be a real thing on their mind as its totally out of their control. The main points are, there is NOTHING OP can do about height, but by excelling in other areas he can greatly enhance his chances of being successful. If being with women is that important, then he needs to be driven to raise his game with variables that can be changed, or move somewhere where the average height is much lower.

One of my friends is 5"6 and he's always had a bit of a downer about his height, so 5"4 must be tough pill to swallow, but he's frequently had g/f's. 1 was where we used to work, abouut 10 years younger, decent looking and had massive t1ts, who just about every man in the office fancied. He just asked her out and were together for a couple of years. He is/was lead singer in band which no doubt helped. Very clever chap, with charisma/gift of the gab/articulate (wouldn't stop talking all the time!), never any awkward silences with him and decent looking enough, square jaw, but not exceptional looks wise. Can barely recall a time when he hasn't had a g/f, wife, been dating - all of them around 7ish looks wise. And from I gather, most of that in recent years has been from OLD.

My memory may be wrong here, but iirc, OP has previously given impression he's not that confident/outgoing, at least with women. When I was like that at 6"2 I barely got anywhere with women, so at 5"4 he has no chance I imagine unless dealing with 5 and lower on looks/body scale. Not sure what to suggest exactly as don;t know the OP, but stuff that makes him more confident, likeable (by women), outgoing like weights (being lean not only improves physique but usually facial features too), martial arts, toast masters, along with status things like career/business?? Good hair cut and style is quick, easy one to implement for starters.

 

[Genetic Error]

@Genetic Error

Bro

if you came here for validation, than I have to politely tell you to fvck off.

Stop whining.

Everyone here is pointing you in many other directions, but you are still whining, after a 5 pages long post.

Im been short throughout my whole life. It certainly left some scars on me from my childhood.

But I live a pretty good life, specially after I found this community

I know I have to deal with my own shlt
I’m in control of my life

I’m 1,69m
My 2 former exes were taller than me. Wasn’t a problem

I make a 6 figure yearly income
I’m national head of sales in my company
People not only respect me, but they like me

It’s not about my height. It’s about my attitude

get a grip of yourself man

dude the height threshold is 170cm 5'7. thats the lowest women will date. of course you could overcome it cos ur still within the threshold. i am 3 inches below it. stop thinking its easy just cos it was for you, purely because you got the luck of better genetics than me. my life is 100x more harder than yours and i wont ever have the same experiences

 

[Genetic Error]

Here's a thought. If your height really bothers you that much, there are some countries where the average height for men is much lower than it is in the US. This link has a chart which breaks it down by gender, maybe one would appeal to you?

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-height-by-country

shortest countries in the world at my age, in cities are 5'7 now. still 3 inches taller than me. google lies about heights like 5'4. that includes all the old people and literally starving outer villages