Don't underestimate how approaching her in the first place makes you look confident in her eyes

[oc16]

Was out at a crowded bar last night, live music.

Blonde was across the bar and my friend was like "Wow, that girl is like a 9"! I looked at her more closely and realized it's this woman I have known throughout the years. I would see her and her family and my Aunt's and Uncles at various occasions, but probably have not seen her in 10+ years. She was married but is now divorced.

She is attractive, but definitely NOT a 9 in my eyes and not my type really (tall, blonde and thin---I like shorter and curvier)

Anyway, I went over and approached her (more for my friend) and said her first and last name to her. She remembered my name and seemed SUPER IMPRESSED that I came over to her and she remarked "You used to be sooooo shy".

After a couple of minutes of talking to her, my friend and I went back to my other friend on the other side of the bar.

She later came over to me and gave me a hug and said something like "I am so glad you came over to talk to me".

She was clearly interested in me, but I was not feeling her too much due to her age, not my type and the fact that she knows my family.

My friends think I am nuts, because they thought she was hot.

 

[Striker_93]

Never got into the whole "don't approach women" thing, if there's one way to show some confidence is to approach a attractive woman, the more attractive the better. Women love that shvt..

Women think there's a reason this guy is confident enough to just walk up and start hitting on me, he must have something going on or is preselected by other women in his life, he's obviously has had numerous past positive experiences with women to be so confident.

This is how they think on a subconscious level, I've also noticed the more aggressive and direct you are when hitting on them has good results, if your attractive/handsome then your in the door 8 times out of 10

 

[oc16]

Perhaps women DO understand it takes guts to approach them and they appreciate it.

 

[SW15]

Perhaps women DO understand it takes guts to approach them and they appreciate it.

No, I do not think that's the case. I've still gotten treated as poorly on cold approaches as I would have if I had app swiped on that particular woman. For the most part, you will get better treatment on cold approaches than you would have if your only exposure to the woman had been on a swipe app, but it is inconsistent and not nearly as big of a difference as social circle game.

Blonde was across the bar and my friend was like "Wow, that girl is like a 9"! I looked at her more closely and realized it's this woman I have known throughout the years. I would see her and her family and my Aunt's and Uncles at various occasions, but probably have not seen her in 10+ years. She was married but is now divorced.

She is attractive, but definitely NOT a 9 in my eyes and not my type really (tall, blonde and thin---I like shorter and curvier)

Anyway, I went over and approached her (more for my friend) and said her first and last name to her. She remembered my name and seemed SUPER IMPRESSED that I came over to her and she remarked "You used to be sooooo shy".

She later came over to me and gave me a hug and said something like "I am so glad you came over to talk to me".

She was clearly interested in me, but I was not feeling her too much due to her age, not my type and the fact that she knows my family.

My friends think I am nuts, because they thought she was hot.

She's likely some 35-40 year old has been. I can identify with why you were not THAT excited about her, but your friends are correct that you are nuts. For a small-ish town in New Jersey, she's a catch. You can't be as fussy as a big city person would be.

Tall, blonde, thin is a good combo in a country with rampant obesity.

Missed opportunity.

There was one instance where I cold approached a stanger (@oc16 -- you had an easier approach with an acquaintance of 10-15 years ago) and got her number. She flaked on me before the date but months later texted me to explain why she flaked. She flaked because I approached her when she was unemployed and she moved to a new city only a few weeks after flaking. I verified her claims on the internet and her claims were true. She complimented me on the fact I had the guts to cold approach her on a walking path in my city and she was under 25 when I was approached her.

Never got into the whole "don't approach women" thing, if there's one way to show some confidence is to approach a attractive woman, the more attractive the better. Women love that shvt..

Women think there's a reason this guy is confident enough to just walk up and start hitting on me, he must have something going on or is preselected by other women in his life, he's obviously has had numerous past positive experiences with women to be so confident.

This is how they think on a subconscious level, I've also noticed the more aggressive and direct you are when hitting on them has good results, if your attractive/handsome then your in the door 8 times out of 10

I agree that you have to make the approaches. There are no shortcuts without a viable social circle. App swiping is not a shortcut.

Everything else is accurate.

 

[oc16]

No, I do not think that's the case. I've still gotten treated as poorly on cold approaches as I would have if I had app swiped on that particular woman. For the most part, you will get better treatment on cold approaches than you would have if your only exposure to the woman had been on a swipe app, but it is inconsistent and not nearly as big of a difference as social circle game.



She's likely some 35-40 year old has been. I can identify with why you were not THAT excited about her, but your friends are correct that you are nuts. For a small-ish town in New Jersey, she's a catch. You can't be as fussy as a big city person would be.

Tall, blonde, thin is a good combo in a country with rampant obesity.

Missed opportunity.

There was one instance where I cold approached a stanger (@oc16 -- you had an easier approach with an acquaintance of 10-15 years ago) and got her number. She flaked on me before the date but months later texted me to explain why she flaked. She flaked because I approached her when she was unemployed and she moved to a new city only a few weeks after flaking. I verified her claims on the internet and her claims were true. She complimented me on the fact I had the guts to cold approach her on a walking path in my city and she was under 25 when I was approached her.



I agree that you have to make the approaches. There are no shortcuts without a viable social circle. App swiping is not a shortcut.

Everything else is accurate.

She's likely some 35-40 year old has been. I can identify with why you were not THAT excited about her, but your friends are correct that you are nuts. For a small-ish town in New Jersey, she's a catch. You can't be as fussy as a big city person would be.

Tall, blonde, thin is a good combo in a country with rampant obesity.

She was 43, I prefer 28-35.

I think the whole obesity thing is blown out of proportion.

Most obese women (and men) are middle aged 45 to 65.

Are there women in their 20's and 30's who could stand to lose 10, 15, 20 lbs. Yes, there are PLENTY of those, but the extra weight they are carrying doesn't make them OBESE and they are still relatively attractive despite having those 10, 15, 20 extra pounds.

 

[SW15]

She was 43, I prefer 28-35.

I think the whole obesity thing is blown out of proportion.

Most obese women (and men) are middle aged 45 to 65.

Are there women in their 20's and 30's who could stand to lose 10, 15, 20 lbs. Yes, there are PLENTY of those, but the extra weight they are carrying doesn't make them OBESE and they are still relatively attractive despite having those 10, 15, 20 extra pounds.

I can identify with preferring 28-35 year olds. You're 44-45. She's 43. She's still younger. Unless she's a single mom, she is a really good catch for that region.

When I use the word obesity, I am referring to anyone overweight or obese.

 

[Dr.Suave]

U can be confident AF when cold approaching. This doesnt mean you will do better with cold approaching than with OLD.

Most people in the forum seem to do better with cold approaching, I did better with old. I believe guys should try different stuff to see what works for them.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I thought I’d share a little story of a recent situation I encountered.

I was at a book store and I overheard a guy talking to a girl. Because we were the only ones at that section,I could listen very clearly what they were talking about. The guy was basically asking the girl about the books she liked, her hobbies; honestly some really stupid BS which it was clear he had just cold approached her. The conversation was honestly weak but I was surprised that he pressed on and she hung around. After about 10 mins, he asked for her number and left. I could see how victorious he felt. You know, walk of fame.

Now here’s the interesting part. I bumped into the same girl later in the store. She was there for awhile. She ended up going back to a group of friends and she was all giggly and happy/proud. Telling them how she was approached. She was surprisingly as happy as he was. She obviously appreciated the fact it happened. She did mention to them he was a tall guy so maybe height was a factor. The guy was very very average looking though.

 

[SW15]

I was at a book store and I overheard a guy talking to a girl. Because we were the only ones at that section,I could listen very clearly what they were talking about. The guy was basically asking the girl about the books she liked, her hobbies; honestly some really stupid BS which it was clear he had just cold approached her. The conversation was honestly weak but I was surprised that he pressed on and she hung around. After about 10 mins, he asked for her number and left. I could see how victorious he felt. You know, walk of fame.

That is adequate book store game. You perceived the conversation as weak but he did hang around long enough. Maybe what you think is stupid BS was something that was meaningful to her.

I hope he asked for the date before walking away with her number. I have made it a practice to get a woman to agree to a date before asking for the number.

There are a few basic conversational models for non-bar approaches. There's the Krauser-Torero London model of Open-Stack-Invest-Vibe-Close or Roosh's GALNUC model. Although this approach you describe would probably be neither, it is probably closer to the Krauser-Torero model.

Now here’s the interesting part. I bumped into the same girl later in the store. She was there for awhile. She ended up going back to a group of friends and she was all giggly and happy/proud. Telling them how she was approached. She was surprisingly as happy as he was. She obviously appreciated the fact it happened. She did mention to them he was a tall guy so maybe height was a factor. The guy was very very average looking though.

Since the man was above 6'0", that did get the woman excited. There are women now who are excited to be approached. One woman I approached on a walking path later texted me how exciting it was for her to meet me in such an unexpected way. Little did she know that I was out doing a day game approach session on that path.

Even 15 years ago, getting approached at a non-bar venue was an exciting event for a woman. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity. Before websites and swipe apps, most men were doing their approaches at bars with alcohol in their systems or some other structured social events. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

That is adequate book store game. You perceived the conversation as weak but he did hang around long enough. Maybe what you think is stupid BS was something that was meaningful to her.

I hope he asked for the date before walking away with her number. I have made it a practice to get a woman to agree to a date before asking for the number.

There are a few basic conversational models for non-bar approaches. There's the Krauser-Torero London model of Open-Stack-Invest-Vibe-Close or Roosh's GALNUC model. Although this approach you describe would probably be neither, it is probably closer to the Krauser-Torero model.



Since the man was above 6'0", that did get the woman excited. There are women now who are excited to be approached. One woman I approached on a walking path later texted me how exciting it was for her to meet me in such an unexpected way. Little did she know that I was out doing a day game approach session on that path.

Even 15 years ago, getting approached at a non-bar venue was an exciting event for a woman. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity. Before websites and swipe apps, most men were doing their approaches at bars with alcohol in their systems or some other structured social events. Non-bar approaching has always been a bit of a niche activity.

I’ve got to confess. I’ve never tried cold approaching. Do you have links to the approach models you mentioned? I’d love to learn.

 

[SW15]

I’ve got to confess. I’ve never tried cold approaching. Do you have links to the approach models you mentioned? I’d love to learn.

Private Site

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1aoqc7

 

[corrector]

You approached a girl who knows you and your family and how you were when you were younger. Not sure if that qualifies as a cold approach.

 

[oc16]

You approached a girl who knows you and your family and how you were when you were younger. Not sure if that qualifies as a cold approach.

I never said it was a cold approach.

 

[kavi]

Every girl likes being approached cos its boosts her ego, it doesnt matter how you look, short fat ugly it dont matter she will like it as long as your body language and vibe is cool. To her she just got a compliment from a random guy and she will think its special, but the guy has to calibrate based on his looks.