Girlfriend Wants To Meet My Friends, But I don't have Any

[Zimbabwe]

He doesn't have people he hangs out with so that would still be lying.

To give some more context to you and @Plinco
I have guys i met over the years who i occasionally text and meet to hang out a couple times a year, the interactions are very surface level because I don't really put the effort in and neither do they. Like @Old Balls I've drifted apart from most guys i knew, partly because i always chose to hang out with women on dates instead of guys.

I’ll be your friend mate.
You make the determination between friends and acquaintances.
How would she know the difference?
Line something up at a local pub with them. Invite her out.
The introductions will appear the same.

They will want to meet the guys regularly, eventually I'll get married and like the movie @SW15 Linked, I'll have no best man (which i personally don't really mind but most women care a lot). I also have a hard time trusting guys i don't know too well especially when women are involved, i had experiences with crappy wings i met from PUA groups.

 

[Old Balls]

I meant for that to be used as a template to formulate your plan. I should have mentioned this, my bad. Maybe use different words to match your situation, but it creates a story that takes her feels for a ride, plus it has a nice ending if you do it right. She will quit nagging you about it (for a while anyway).

It might give you incentive to reach out and make some friends too.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

She sounds young, how long have you been dating her? If a girl is bugging you to meet your friends then she is most likely a toxic manipulator.

 

[Black Widow Void]

My best friend only has one friend (which is me). He's married, but if he was single and in your circumstance, I'd recommend the response from Old Balls.

"I've kind of outgrown most of the friends that I used to run with. We all just kind of went down separate paths, and those paths aren't something I really wanted to be a part of. At first it was hard to not have the boys around to cause trouble and do stupid things, but I really this has a blessing in disguise so far. I'm a lot more careful how I choose friends these days. I would probably be in prison if I chose to remain close to them. I have a lot of acquaintances, and a few that I would call friends, but we don't hang really hang out as much as we should. Maybe I'll give them a call sometime and we can go have a boys night out. And then I'll decide who you get to meet. You know what, I just noticed how much I want to taste your neck right now...(taste neck and proceed into the land of milk and honey)

 

[corrector]

To give some more context to you and @Plinco
I have guys i met over the years who i occasionally text and meet to hang out a couple times a year, the interactions are very surface level because I don't really put the effort in and neither do they. Like @Old Balls I've drifted apart from most guys i knew, partly because i always chose to hang out with women on dates instead of guys.



They will want to meet the guys regularly, eventually I'll get married and like the movie @SW15 Linked, I'll have no best man (which i personally don't really mind but most women care a lot). I also have a hard time trusting guys i don't know too well especially when women are involved, i had experiences with crappy wings i met from PUA groups.

My cousin was my best man. A best man can be part of your family. But this is a problem I felt at the wedding. The best man, the stag party, groomsmen, etc.... In my case I had family. When you look at it, you cant have a proper wedding or party before the wedding without some good buddies (or family).

 

[Snag87]

So it's gotten to the point where she introduced me to her 3 friends, they seemed really nice. She introduced me to them slowly one by one and i got to know them.

The problem is she's been asking about meeting my friends, I can't really use the pandemic as an excuse since cases are going down. The problem is I have no friends at all, sure i have a bunch of aquatainces i occasionally talk to but nobody close enough that i would introduce my girlfriend to.

I'm not sure what to do here exactly, should i just tell her I don't actually have any friends?

Say you don't have any in the area. That's actually often the case for me since I travel frequently for work.

 

[SW15]

I've kind of outgrown most of the friends that I used to run with. We all just kind of went down separate paths, and those paths aren't something I really wanted to be a part of.

I can identify with this. As I've gottent to my late 30s, I've outgrown all the friends that I made from ages 18-29. These are all men who are mostly married or with long term girlfriends of more than 5 years. Some have kids. One college friend (who lives in another city) and I reconnected after his divorce in 2020. He was married for ~10 years and during most of those ~10 years, I wasn't talking to him.

I don't have as much in common with most of these men anymore. I probably need some new male friends but it wouldn't be easy to find male friends between 32-44 who are never married, unattached/marginally attached, and have no kids.

I don’t run into this much as an older guy; but when I was younger, the girls were definitely grilling me about my guy friends (or lack thereof).

I never had this issue because I always had some male friends. In college, I had male friends that I made from the freshman year dorm, classes, or an activity/randomness. In my first city post college, I had some difficulty with male friends, but had enough friends. I've been in my current city since age 28. I did a good job making friends in my first year in the new city and many of those friends I am still friends with today. These are the men that I have outgrown to an extent. They have different priorities. These men are mainly living for their wives and their dogs.

I also have a hard time trusting guys i don't know too well especially when women are involved, i had experiences with crappy wings i met from PUA groups.

A guy that you meet in a PUA group is going to typically be a pusssy obsessed guy. It is true that you'll have something in common with this guy (an interest in seducing women). Seduction/pickup is usually not the basis for a long term friendship. Meeting men through activities and commonalities is good, but it's better for those things to be something like a sport or activity not related to women. Fishing, tennis, playing musical instruments, and auto repair are examples of activities that you would have in common with a man that would be better as the common interest for a friendship to form.

Like @Old Balls I've drifted apart from most guys i knew, partly because i always chose to hang out with women on dates instead of guys.

For men that don't have social circles capable of generating dates for them, they will often have to spend more time doing dating related activities. Swiping/texting takes a long time, as does approaching strangers. Going to events/participating in activities to meet women is also time consuming.

Established couples rule most social circles. My times as being part of a couple have been shorter/more unstable than most established couples. I've never been a part of the whole couples scene. Single men tend to be on the fringes of most social circles, especially after age 30.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

My cousin was my best man. A best man can be part of your family. But this is a problem I felt at the wedding. The best man, the stag party, groomsmen, etc.... In my case I had family. When you look at it, you cant have a proper wedding or party before the wedding without some good buddies (or family).

fvck weddings, the day I meet a woman that’s fine with a court house wedding, I’m proposing

 

[Dr.Suave]

Bumble has a thing to make friends.

 

[Snag87]

Bumble has a thing to make friends.

Tried this. Mostly closeted gay guys looking to hookup. There are some straight men looking for friends, but they were the minority.

 

[zinc4]

So it's gotten to the point where she introduced me to her 3 friends, they seemed really nice. She introduced me to them slowly one by one and i got to know them.

The problem is she's been asking about meeting my friends, I can't really use the pandemic as an excuse since cases are going down. The problem is I have no friends at all, sure i have a bunch of aquatainces i occasionally talk to but nobody close enough that i would introduce my girlfriend to.

I'm not sure what to do here exactly, should i just tell her I don't actually have any friends?

Is she asian by any chance? They seem to be the main ones that ask this. Tell her they are all married or something or just straight up tell her the truth. If she judges you then oh well. As long as her IL is high it shouldn't matter. You will know what she is about according to how she responds.

Honestly, its red flag to me though. Tells me her IL isn't as high as it should be if she is repeatedly asking this.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Honestly, its red flag to me though. Tells me her IL isn't as high as it should be if she is repeatedly asking this.

Yes, I was thinking this too. Like maybe she´s thinking "if he doesn´t have any friends or doesnt have a cool social life maybe hes not as high value as I thought, maybe that makes me feel less attracted to him".

 

[Velasco]

As long as her IL is high it shouldn't matter. You will know what she is about according to how she responds.

Honestly, its red flag to me though. Tells me her IL isn't as high as it should be if she is repeatedly asking this

Like maybe she´s thinking "if he doesn´t have any friends or doesnt have a cool social life maybe hes not as high value as I thought, maybe that makes me feel less attracted to him".

How is this a red flag tho? Her perception of him at this point is that he IS high value (why she's with him in the first place). The reason zim doesn't want to tell the truth about his situation is because he instinctively knows this will shatter her perception of him. Setting off the time bomb to the end of this relationship.

And to address zinc's point about how it shouldnt matter if she's high IL.

if this were truth Like you saw in TheProspect's
thread about his mistakes (low value behavior).

They shouldn't have had any impact on his girl losing interest and then sabtoging the relationship Because high IL = "you don't need game"

High IL is indicative on the perception (real or fake) of high value.

 

[zinc4]

How is this a red flag tho? Her perception of him at this point is that he IS high value (why she's with him in the first place). The reason zim doesn't want to tell the truth about his situation is because he instinctively knows this will shatter her perception of him. Setting off the time bomb to the end of this relationship.

And to address zinc's point about how it shouldnt matter if she's high IL.

if this were truth Like Pandora's mistakes (low value behavior), shouldn't have had any impact on his girl. Because high IL = "you don't need game"

High IL is indicative on the perception (real or fake) of high value.

In my personal experience very high interest women never demanded to meet or know much about my friends. They never cared one way or the other and even seem somewhat threatened by my mentioning of them or annoyed.

Only one girl i dated seriously seemed determined to meet my friends and she was medium level interest looking back on it who had previously been alpha widowed. Actually...check that....two alpha widowed gurls i dated demanded to meet or know about my friends. Both were asian. One i was very into but she coudnt get over an ex who had cheated on her and dumped her.

 

[Velasco]

In my personal experience very high interest women never demanded to meet or know much about my friends. They never cared one way or the other and even seem somewhat threatened by my mentioning of them or annoyed.

Only one girl i dated seriously seemed determined to meet my friends and she was medium level interest looking back on it who had previously been alpha widowed. Actually...check that....two alpha widowed gurls i dated demanded to meet or know about my friends. Both were asian. One i was very into but she coudnt get over an ex who had cheated on her and dumped her

I've never had any girl I've been with "demand" to meet my friends. Nor do I think a girl you consider to be your girlfriend, asking to meet your friends after months/years of dating, to be a red flag either.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Usually when she wants to meet your friends, it’s because she read in some book that she “should” do this. She’s under the illusion that friendship is the same for men as it is for women.

Should be handled humorously but firmly.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'll be honest, no female has ever asked me of this. Many have asked to meet my family, but never friends. You can try to make some friends at meetup, but there can be a lot of losers there. Have you tried a rent-a-friend service? Or, hire one on Fiverr?

“I paid $47 an hour for someone to be my friend”

Is this a cure for the loneliness epidemic?

www.vox.com

https://www.fiverr.com/search/gigs?query=friend&source=main_banner&search_in=everywhere&search-autocomplete-original-term=friend

Or, you can hire an actor or actors and say you are doing film where all the people are acting like friends and hanging out, etc. Eventually though, this will come out. Should this go anywhere, she'd be more hurt that you lied to her than tell her the truth.

TBH, since you already fvcked her, just be honest. Look, I am working on my purpose and my friends and I just lost track of time. Their doing their life and I'm doing mine. It's all good. We talk and chat at times, but not really hang out IRL. Something like that is believable and is a safe answer.

 

[MatureDJ]

You could try faking SocialGroupMaxxing like this guy:

 

[MatureDJ]

There's got to be at least ONE cool guy you work with who you could consider a 'friend'. Ask him to bring his girlfriend along and all do a couples activity together. Like a dinner and a movie at the cinema

You presume that a cool guy with a girlfriend would want to hang out with a guy that has no friends.

 

[MatureDJ]

Or else what? You are afraid you'll lose her? That's scarcity and oneitis. At least tell me this us this is an hb8+ without tatoos, a weird hairstyle and a leftie nut so it doesn't seem so bad.

Your plan should be having either having other options so you have an abundance mind-set, and don't care too much about this girl, or have an exit plan if the relationship doesn't work out.

Oh, put a sock in it. We all know that like most of us normies (or even worse) here, the OP has barely been able to score a decent chick; he does not have a harem in reserve, and he has no exit plan.