Confidence buider for the super shy guy

[Jack]

This is a little trick I tried. Well we all heard the say hi to all the girls/women you see thing. But if you super shy like I use to be, that trick was a big leap forward, maybe even to big a leap. So I came up with something that you can do before the "hi" thing. Try making eye contact with every girl you see. Hold it just a second longer than normally. What this exercise does is to help get you used to making eye contact. Being a shy person, you're not really use to that so it kinda takes you out of your comfort zone but not to far out. Sometimes a girl/women may even say hi to you first if you look at her.


P.S. If a women is a long distance from you, don't try this exercise yet. Wait till she gets within 5-7ft.

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Learn from the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future.

 

[Crazyman]

Iknow what you are saying.
I think i am beyond super shy though as i have trouble even making eye contact. i have been working on this for the last few weeks and am making progress.
Something additional count every contact as a victory. Small victories will lead to bigger ones.

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(24)
Fear is seductive.
Don`t let it be the love of your life

 

[Zimbabwe]

Bumping this thread because this is really solid advice

 

[Black Widow Void]

I'll also add a suggestion.

This only works in check-out lines (grocery stores, restaurants, retail etc... )

After hearing her speak to a cashier, clerk, placing an order etc...
"I couldn't help noticing your accent. Where ya from?"

The older a woman is, the more likely that they didn't grow up in the area. Even if they are local, you can easily say something like "you'd never know. You sound more distinguished."

I don't claim to have scored every time I've used this, but I can also honestly say that I have never been snubbed for such an opener. Quite the opposite, actually.

 

[Shrubber101]

What if you have a resting biatch face?

 

[Atom Smasher]

IMO, the best thing a shy man can do to overcome his shyness is to engage in small-talk everywhere he goes, and that means with men as well as women.

Make that mental shift of being a bright spot in someone’s day. By learning to engage in brief casual conversations, you start to develop a more relaxed, friendly vibe that will serve you well throughout life.

 

[biggoal]

IMO, the best thing a shy man can do to overcome his shyness is to engage in small-talk everywhere he goes, and that means with men as well as women.

Make that mental shift of being a bright spot in someone’s day. By learning to engage in brief casual conversations, you start to develop a more relaxed, friendly vibe that will serve you well throughout life.

The problem is many women will hate this, especially if they're way younger. If you're 44 and trying to chat up a 20 year old they will think you're a creep. Even if it's small talk they know why you're doing it.

 

[2Rocky]

What if you have a resting biatch face?

You will be surprised how much making yourself smile will make people around you happier...as well as making you happier...

20 Ways of Training Yourself to Smile More Often – Happy and Authentic

www.happyandauthentic.com

 

[darksprezzatura]

Hold eye contact, smile and say Hi.

Watch her response.

"Do you come here often?"
"Do you like it here?"

Thread from here.

Match interest levels.

 

[Alvafe]

IMO, the best thing a shy man can do to overcome his shyness is to engage in small-talk everywhere he goes, and that means with men as well as women.

Make that mental shift of being a bright spot in someone’s day. By learning to engage in brief casual conversations, you start to develop a more relaxed, friendly vibe that will serve you well throughout life.

I would mention that, super shy people need to talk a lot more to lose that, and it was mentioned a lot during my earlier times here, not only talk with woman, talk with men, and old people, they are the ones more likely to want to talk

 

[Barrister]

The problem is many women will hate this, especially if they're way younger. If you're 44 and trying to chat up a 20 year old they will think you're a creep. Even if it's small talk they know why you're doing it.

Everything you just said is patently false. You are not a "creep" in any sense of the word by employing charm and charisma towards everyone you come across - regardless of their age. Making small talk with anyone immediately disarms them and increases their affinity towards you. And yes, if you walk up and try some dumb pick up line on a 20 year old when you are 44 it will come off "creepy." That isn't what Atom Smasher was telling anyone to do though. It is about losing shyness.

You will find that you probably employ this differently towards men than you do women, but that doesn't mean you are coming on to the women.

 

[corrector]

The problem is many women will hate this, especially if they're way younger. If you're 44 and trying to chat up a 20 year old they will think you're a creep. Even if it's small talk they know why you're doing it.

Women of all ages are treating you like that though. Like the postal lady. So you might as well go for 20 year olds then.

 

[corrector]

Everything you just said is patently false. You are not a "creep" in any sense of the word by employing charm and charisma towards everyone you come across - regardless of their age. Making small talk with anyone immediately disarms them and increases their affinity towards you. And yes, if you walk up and try some dumb pick up line on a 20 year old when you are 44 it will come off "creepy." That isn't what Atom Smasher was telling anyone to do though. It is about losing shyness.

You will find that you probably employ this differently towards men than you do women, but that doesn't mean you are coming on to the women.

Age is just a number. Its also a numbers game to find a yonge lady who has a fetish for older guys. Like any other numbers game. Our smv has got to be better than teenagers. At least we have cars.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The problem is many women will hate this, especially if they're way younger. If you're 44 and trying to chat up a 20 year old they will think you're a creep. Even if it's small talk they know why you're doing it.

That’s because they perceive you as a manipulator. And you ARE a manipulator. Your conversations are transactional in nature, and women know it.

I’m speaking of something you’re not wired to understand. I’m talking about speaking with other people without partiality and without an end goal in mind, other than to amuse yourself and others and to develop your social skills while having fun and making life better for yourself and others.

Once a man learns how to do that smoothly, he is prepared to extend that social smoothness to actual game when he gets a target in his sights.

You struggle because you advertise to the world that you want something out of the people you interact with. That sets off their creep alarm. They see what you do not see.

Many times we have given you enough information to handle your situation, but since you always “know better”, you haven’t been able to value it nor accept it.

You’re stuck in an infinite loop because you “know better”. I hope someday my advice will click with you.

 

[metalwater]

The problem is many women will hate this, especially if they're way younger. If you're 44 and trying to chat up a 20 year old they will think you're a creep. Even if it's small talk they know why you're doing it.

your right.

so don't chat up 20-year-old women that are hot. initially, when first learning this it's better to chat up with people that we are not sexually attracted to. it is a separate thing to learn, it's not about how to pick up women it is about how to communicate with others. as silly as that sounds it is not a skill that everyone just has from birth. many do not have it and either stumble around or learn it; I know.

to learn how to do this chat up people that you do not want to have sex with and also do not want something from. then one strategy is to talk to them and find out what they are doing right now. if it is something interesting to you, you can ask about it. if you are lucky and they start telling you something pay attention to them and see if there is some information about what they are telling you that you can learn from. anything you did not already know is useful to you. after a short chat of perhaps 5 or maybe... 10 minutes excuse yourself and thank them for the time and anything you learned.

it's hard to do this initially if the person you are talking to you also really really want to have sex with. it's much better if that person you spent 5 minutes a couple of times with that you are not attracted to just happens to introduce you to their friend who is a young lady... but don't plan on that and don't suggest it, just try to learn about whatever the person is telling you. some won't talk to you, when that happens just move on.