Stop fixating on targets and outcomes. Instead fixate on PROCESS

[Atom Smasher]

The older and more successful I have become, the more the concept of pursuing and cold approaching nauseate me. All these posts about individual targets show how far men have fallen into Simpdom.

I say it again and again, but it falls on deaf ears because of your influences from Hollywood and your feminized education:
Develop a habit and lifestyle of judging and rejecting women, and you will find a new reality that you never knew existed.

When you truly DGAF, women sense that and find it hugely attractive. It completely changes the way you carry yourself and what you project outwardly.

How do you do this? You brainwash yourself. You go all-in on your superiority to ALL women. You enter a period where you go out of your way to project superiority. You WANT them to hate you.

The Great Paradox is that you will find that you will quickly and automatically calibrate to the place where you project friendliness yet strength and outcome independence.

It’s only a game, guys. You have nothing to lose. I know this because most of you are still broadcasting “I’m all-in… I hope you’ll accept me” to women you’re interested in.

Target fixation makes you trip all over yourself. If instead you create a process where you systematically spread your superiority far and wide, the process will provide you all the attraction that has eluded you all these years.

If only your Uncle Atom could demonstrate the attitude. But alas, I can only describe this foreign concept with inadequate words.

Most of you lock onto a target and that in and of itself causes you to act in a dorky manner. It’s inevitable and is the crux of the problem.

Don’t DO. Instead BE. Women are desperate for a man who projects dominance and superiority. But modern “men” are way too pussified to understand this. I repeat, they are desperate for a man who considers himself superior. They crave this at their very core.

Be superior. You have a superior logical brain. You know full-well that all women are bat-sh!t crazy and emotional messes. Use that knowledge to your advantage. Instead of trying to break through women’s artifice, you can neutralize it with an air of superiority. You do in fact have a superior brain and you KNOW you do. Use that fact to your advantage.

There are probably fewer than 5 men here who know exactly what I’m talking about. Another handful (the ones destined for success) are sensing that there’s something to what I’m saying. The rest will regard this as drivel, the ramblings of a madman, and these will continue to be confused and frustrated about women.

To those who are on the pathway to enlightenment, eliminate individual targets. Go through a period of judging and rejecting women everywhere you go. Feel your superiority and your complete IDGAF attitude. You will find yourself settling into being seen as mysterious, strong, fun, friendly, exciting, and IRRESISTIBLE.

For the rest, continue to be locked into your Hollywood influences and your feminized education. Continue to broadcast your all-in status like a little puppy dog desperately hoping for attention and affection. Continue writing posts about how to attract this one girl.

Process is power. Process is outcome-independent. Process is a self-working machine.

Come on, guys. You already know these women you are desperately trying to impress belong in the insane asylum. They are slave to emotion. You are not. Leverage this disparity. Women create a fake, paper-thin superiority with face paint, clothing and societal support. In other words, their perceived superiority is based on nothing but artifice. They seem superior to most of you because you buy into that which is: The web of artifice that is designed to ensnare and limit you and filter out the confused losers.

Create a new reality by rendering that artifice worthless. Let them come to you. Let them wonder at your power to be unimpressed by them. You find them batting their eyes and smiling and inviting you in.

Or, continue to sleep and wring your hands about your powerlessness. Pick your targets and throw yourself at them, begging for acceptance. Cold approach and annoy the sh!t out of them. That’s the life you deserve because you’ve been presented with knowledge but refuse it because you “know better”.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Let them come to you. Let them wonder at your power to be unimpressed by them.

This took me a long time to master. Sometimes I still have to remind myself to be stoic.

Great thread.

 

[Willie Naylor]

@Atom Smasher I've always felt like I'm lowering my value when I'm showing her I'm impressed by something she says or does.

 

[Atom Smasher]

My handling of that is to trickle out little positive comments in a VERY sparing way.

I call it “throttling”. All compliments are throttled out in a controlled way with intent.

Have fun and tease her, displaying that you have absolutely no fear of her, but if you like her and want to reel her in, give her a little compliment about her character every once in a blue moon. NEVER, EVER compliment her looks. That’s the worst thing a man can do.

Compliments must be about character only. I know how it is… a guy naturally wants to compliment a woman who he likes. But we must resist that temptation and build that base of superiority.

Some off-handed compliments can work well, too, like, if she says something stupid and she knows it, you can say “Well, it’s a good thing you are “xyz” because that PARTIALLY compensates for that”.

The trick is to keep them confused. This confusion is like a drug to them, unlike us men, who like certainty.

 

[bat soup]

So I just have to change my whole personality, pretend to be someone else completely and pretend that I don't want what I want. And that's not simping.

 

[Epicenter]

I guess it attracts a lot of men who might want to fight you because they do not want to be dominated.

 

[Cao]

So I just have to change my whole personality, pretend to be someone else completely and pretend that I don't want what I want. And that's not simping.

I'll suppose you are talking about sex. Where did he say you gotta go monk ?

 

[metalwater]

I guess it attracts a lot of men who might want to fight you because they do not want to be dominated.

nope, I thought the same before. Most of them fall into line. A few will meet in the middle.

 

[metalwater]

The Great Paradox is that you will find that you will quickly and automatically calibrate to the place where you project friendliness yet strength and outcome independence.


Target fixation makes you trip all over yourself. If instead you create a process where you systematically spread your superiority far and wide, the process will provide you all the attraction that has eluded you all these years.

Very good post and written clearly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

So I just have to change my whole personality, pretend to be someone else completely and pretend that I don't want what I want. And that's not simping.

I usually like your posts, bat, but not this one. You're not ready for the advanced stuff. It's completely over your head at your present state of development. That's clear from your reaction. There will come a day when what I said clicks, but today's not the day.

The reason you're mocking is because I struck a nerve, and you don't see any way of attaining the mastery I describe. I get that.

Someday when you come back to this thread you will discover that I'm not talking about "changing your whole personality", but rather refining and adding to it in order to live more powerfully.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'll suppose you are talking about sex. Where did he say you gotta go monk ?

Right. Far from going monk, you open up the floodgates.

True winners understand the paradoxes of life.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I am going to both agree and disagree with Atom Smasher.

I have a natural tendency to be somewhat aloof around women. I don't engage in excessive small talk. I don't offer a shoulder to cry on or sympathize with their problems. I don't have to pretend that I DGAF because I really don't. In addition, I compliment very sparingly. In fact, I've had more than one woman say something like "OMG, this is the first time you've complimented me on something!" This is both a pro and con. The "pro" part is obvious. The "con" is that some women think that I am a d!ck (and contrary to popular opinion, that does not necessarily make women wet). However, I have concluded that, on average, the upside of my attitude significantly outweighs the downside.

As far as "brainwashing" yourself to feel superior, that's a bit of a fool's errand in my opinion. Instead, focus your energy on actually becoming superior. How? By improving your social and financial status. You'd be surprised how having money, a high status career, and most importantly, accomplishments, naturally makes you feel superior to other people, including women. You want to get to a point in life where the challenge is not to feel too superior. That is a much better challenge to have that constantly trying to big up yourself.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Had a recent date that didn't go well, and I believe this was the crux. I distinctly recollect saying several things implying I was impressed by her. These were what I considered positive compliments based on who she was and not what she looked like.

However, in hindsight, I could see the switch go off to 'no longer attracted.'

All good. b1tches are weird man. I'm over it

There you go, my man. Textbook.

Women are desperately looking for a man they can look up to, who is not overly impressed by her. She knows deep inside that she's a house of cards and largely bereft of actual value.

Telling a woman you're impressed by her is the death-knell. She must be kept guessing how you feel about her at all times.

 

[RangerMIke]

Come on, guys. You already know these women you are desperately trying to impress belong in the insane asylum. They are slave to emotion. You are not. Leverage this disparity.

This is why I keep coming back here. Love this comment, and it is so true.

To put this in military terms... NEVER reinforce failure: always reinforce success. The problem I see with most men is they throw resources at PROBLEMS thinking they can fix something, rather than saving those resources to exploit real opportunity.

Back in 1921, a former WWI British Army captain developed the "Man in the Dark" theory of warfare.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03071842109421930

The theory basically says that when a man is in the dark he leads with his hands, probing and looking for the light switch, he uses his hands because these are highly mobile extremities that provides protection... a man does not walk in the dark, leading with his face.... he moves cautiously and slowly, probing for the light switch. He developed this theory after watching the slaughter on the Western front in WW-I. Where Field Marshals and Generals would make general assumptions and go all in in attacks. When you don't have perfect information, you should move cautiously probe, and when you have success with that 'probe', then you reinforce that success.

Many men act like WWI generals, they go all in right from the start without really knowing they will have success. Dating should be 'probes'.... low resource operations, testing the waters... if you have success, then you commit your reserves. Make dates, be observant, pay attention to what your date is doing... if she is open to you... then and only then do you make a concerted effort. MOST of your dates should go no where, in fact under the best of situations, you should have a success rate of less than 30%, but it is all about the PROCESS.

Be cautious, be the man in the dark, because you ARE the man in the dark. If you move slowly, with patience, then women that really like you will put in some effort... this is what you want. Now it is true that some chicks that REALLY like you might not chase you from the start. These women tend to be damaged and will be pains in the @ss to date. Your strength is rationality and self-control... USE THAT to your advantage. Patience and self-control will cause women that REALLY want you to put forth effort... this is what she wants... if she likes you but won't chase you, she is NOT acting like a sane woman, and you don't want her. REMEMEBR THIS. If a woman is not chasing you she is either a game playing crazy or she isn't interested... this is not an opportunity that you should be spending resources on.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I am going to both agree and disagree with Atom Smasher.

I have a natural tendency to be somewhat aloof around women. I don't engage in excessive small talk. I don't offer a shoulder to cry on or sympathize with their problems. I don't have to pretend that I DGAF because I really don't. In addition, I compliment very sparingly. In fact, I've had more than one woman say something like "OMG, this is the first time you've complimented me on something!" This is both a pro and con. The "pro" part is obvious. The "con" is that some women think that I am a d!ck (and contrary to popular opinion, that does not necessarily make women wet). However, I have concluded that, on average, the upside of my attitude significantly outweighs the downside.

As far as "brainwashing" yourself to feel superior, that's a bit of a fool's errand in my opinion. Instead, focus your energy on actually becoming superior. How? By improving your social and financial status. You'd be surprised how having money, a high status career, and most importantly, accomplishments, naturally makes you feel superior to other people, including women. You want to get to a point in life where the challenge is not to feel too superior. That is a much better challenge to have that constantly trying to big up yourself.

The brainwashing is to convince yourself of your actual superior value. Most men seriously devalue themselves, especially when comparing themselves to attractive women. The illusion is the self devaluation. I'm referring to washing your brain clean of unrealistic low self-valuation and instead taking stock and realizing what you possess as a male. We, as men, possess a superior logical mind, superior earning potential, superior physical strength, the power to change anything we want about ourselves (women are stuck as they are), and a superior sense of right and wrong and moral code. The task for us is to cleanse the brain of the low self-valuation that is beaten into us all our lives and to realize what we actually are. We are the authority in this world. This is our inherent right and obligation and what we are wired for. It's all there already. All we need to do is pick it up, possess it and run with it.

I'll also say this: Women are water, and men are the container. When done right, the woman conforms to the shape of container. She is wired to do so with a man she looks up to. It is in her nature. Men are running around today with their tail between their legs, totally dumbfounded by physical beauty and feminine affectations, when they should be living with women offering to pour themselves into them.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is why I keep coming back here. Love this comment, and it is so true.

To put this in military terms... NEVER reinforce failure: always reinforce success. The problem I see with most men is they throw resources at PROBLEMS thinking they can fix something, rather than saving those resources to exploit real opportunity.

Back in 1921, a former WWI British Army captain developed the "Man in the Dark" theory of warfare.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03071842109421930

The theory basically says that when a man is in the dark he leads with his hands, probing and looking for the light switch, he uses his hands because these are highly mobile extremities that provides protection... a man does not walk in the dark, leading with his face.... he moves cautiously and slowly, probing for the light switch. He developed this theory after watching the slaughter on the Western front in WW-I. Where Field Marshals and Generals would make general assumptions and go all in in attacks. When you don't have perfect information, you should move cautiously probe, and when you have success with that 'probe', then you reinforce that success.

Many men act like WWI generals, they go all in right from the start without really knowing they will have success. Dating should be 'probes'.... low resource operations, testing the waters... if you have success, then you commit your reserves. Make dates, be observant, pay attention to what your date is doing... if she is open to you... then and only then do you make a concerted effort. MOST of your dates should go no where, in fact under the best of situations, you should have a success rate of less than 30%, but it is all about the PROCESS.

Be cautious, be the man in the dark, because you ARE the man in the dark. If you move slowly, with patience, then women that really like you will put in some effort... this is what you want. Now it is true that some chicks that REALLY like you might not chase you from the start. These women tend to be damaged and will be pains in the @ss to date. Your strength is rationality and self-control... USE THAT to your advantage. Patience and self-control will cause women that REALLY want you to put forth effort... this is what she wants... if she likes you but won't chase you, she is NOT acting like a sane woman, and you don't want her. REMEMEBR THIS. If a woman is not chasing you she is either a game playing crazy or she isn't interested... this is not an opportunity that you should be spending resources on.

Excellent articulation.

 

[Bokanovsky]

NEVER, EVER compliment her looks. That’s the worst thing a man can do.

This is generally true but as with all rules, there are some exceptions. I find that it's okay to compliment her on her looks after you've had sex for the first time. I've done this with a few girls and it never backfired. The reason why this is a good idea is that girls often feel insecure after their first time with you. Giving a small compliment will put her mind at ease.

Also, it's okay to sparingly complement her on certain aspects of her appearance that are non-genetic. For example, if her hair smells nice because of the shampoo that she's using. Or if a certain article of clothing compliments her body. You want to comment on non-genetic aspects of her appearance because by doing so, you are rewarding her for something she actually had to put some effort into (i.e. make herself sexy), as opposed to something that she was born with. Those types of compliments are okay as long they are infrequent and made in the spur fo the moment (and therefore seem like a genuine reaction, as opposed to sucking up). And you should only do this with girls that you are already dating.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I agree with that. I quickly found out with my girl that physical comments meant absolutely nothing to her, but she is a very natural beauty. I learned to give her an occasional “You look nice” if she dressed up for something or got her hair done. It’s amazing how little regard ultra-attractive women can have for appearance compliments.
She responds much better to compliments about character or spirituality. Even then I’m pretty sparing with compliments. Like most men, my natural inclination is to compliment, but that’s the male perspective. I’ve learned to understand the female perspective, which is usually “looks” compliments are a big yawn.
Girls who are less naturally beautiful respond more positively to appearance compliments as they are usually quite insecure about their looks. That’s what calibration is all about. Different degrees for different women. The problem is that few men are even aware of throttling compliments.

My admonition to “never, ever” compliment her looks applies to brand-new relationships and first dates.

 

[Velasco]

And you should only do this with girls that you are already dating.

Nah I still complement girls appearance I haven't slept with yet. I'll be like, "you smell good what is that?" Just as an excuse to get up in their space (1) and have them get a good whiff of my cologne scent (2).

But yeah don't see why we are listening to some 64 year old whose married on picking up women?

 

[RangerMIke]

If you want to complement a woman, do it. The only advice I will give is that it should be a sincere compliment. If it is something you REALLY admire, then giving a compliment is authentic.

Just be warned if you over do it then you will come off as manipulative, which is a turn off. Another thing, if you compliment a woman on her looks, and she is good looking, the compliment is meaningless because you are only telling her what she already knows. It is better to notice little changes and call these out as compliments. She got a new hair cut, wearing something new that looks good.

Be observant and notice the little things, do this and you will score points.