Women dating down, how are you supposed to feel?

[sangheilios]

Over the past few years I've had something interesting that I picked up on with women I had asked out, dated, etc., that ended up rejecting me. At the time I'd feel really annoyed with these rejections, which is normal, but what would make it worse was that I'd always see these women date men that were down from my level.

A few years back in 2018 I had a date with a girl I met when I was out with friends, I had a couple brief texts and then poof....ghosted. I was annoyed with it for a while and eventually just moved on. However, I've been seeing this very same girl at my gym on a semi regular basis, like once a week or two. Anyway, when I had gone out with her she was really cute and had a great body but now she is kind of chubby and I honestly wouldn't even ask her out. However, she has this bf that looks like a total dweeb, obviously I don't know him on a personal level but it's always interesting to see something like that.

A couple years ago I tried asking out this women that I'd rate a 4, I wasn't really that attracted to her but I enjoyed talking to her. She rejected me and made some comment about me, which I really didn't care because I wasn't all that into her anyway. However, this woman a few months later has been in a relationship with a man that is around 300 lbs. at 6'1"ish, completely broke and been unemployed since spring of 2020.

I've had a few other experiences like this and I'm not really sure what to make of them and what the take home is. Part of me gets really frustrated by this, seeing them with these guys that don't bring what I have to the table. I feel that most men in my position would feel this way. However, I also question if I'm simply going for the wrong women, or perhaps just meeting the wrong ones.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Comparing yourself to guys a woman chooses will never do you good.

Most women have different preferences just like most men have different preferences.

Some want to fix a broken guy,
some want to change a jerk to a nice one,
some want to be with a dying guy,
some like mentally unstable psychotic guys,
some like chubby dad bods,
some like ripped roided out gymbros,
some like rich guys.

It's not useful to analyse women and their choices. It's useful to make a life that is whole imo FOR YOU.

What kind of women do YOU like?

Just my 2 cents.

 

[joesbigship]

Over the past few years I've had something interesting that I picked up on with women I had asked out, dated, etc., that ended up rejecting me. At the time I'd feel really annoyed with these rejections, which is normal, but what would make it worse was that I'd always see these women date men that were down from my level.

A couple years ago I tried asking out this women that I'd rate a 4,

Part of me gets really frustrated by this, seeing them with these guys that don't bring what I have to the table.

Pretty much nothing about your post makes any sense.

If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you asking out 4's? If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you being rejected by 4's? If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you still upset about being rejected by a 4 two years later?

Either you have a severe issue with separation anxiety or you are nowhere near the "level" you claim you are at, or both.

 

[sangheilios]

Pretty much nothing about your post makes any sense.

If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you asking out 4's? If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you being rejected by 4's? If "your level" is as high as you claim why are you still upset about being rejected by a 4 two years later?

Either you have a severe issue with separation anxiety or you are nowhere near the "level" you claim you are at, or both.

I found her interesting to talk to and figured it might have been worth a shot, I wasn't really all that into her.

A man that is around 6'4" and very fit is above average, I don't have to repeat this a million times on here.

 

[Willie Naylor]

OP loves to pseudo-intellectually analyze everything.

He appears to treat life as some kind of science experiment.

 

[sangheilios]

Comparing yourself to guys a woman chooses will never do you good.

Most women have different preferences just like most men have different preferences.

Some want to fix a broken guy,
some want to change a jerk to a nice one,
some want to be with a dying guy,
some like mentally unstable psychotic guys,
some like chubby dad bods,
some like ripped roided out gymbros,
some like rich guys.

It's not useful to analyse women and their choices. It's useful to make a life that is whole imo FOR YOU.

What kind of women do YOU like?

Just my 2 cents.

I do see a lot of women reject or "grow bored" of men that have a lot going for them but yet happily enter into relationships with losers, and no none of them are chads. There was one that I can think of where the man was literally barely past 5' and was a total deadbeat, stupid and not good looking and he had relationships. My take home from examples like this is simply that the women that go for him are female mirror equivalents of him OR like you said they like a "fixer upper". I've seen some cases where a woman feels she can change him to being a more stable, well adjusted individual.....which doesn't work of course. I feel in situations like this these women have some sort of issues going on.

I agree, it's not really healthy to analyze a woman's behavior or her choices, as you'll just make yourself as crazy as they are. I like that, go for the women that you like and feel an attraction towards and not try to mold yourself into something that they want. Supplicating to women like this in the hopes of getting them to accept you is not something a man should even consider, though it does occur quite often.

 

[sangheilios]

OP loves to pseudo-intellectually analyze everything.

He appears to treat life as some kind of science experiment.

If you aren't going to add anything productive to this discussion don't post on here, this comment has added nothing.

 

[biggoal]

Comparing yourself to guys a woman chooses will never do you good.

Most women have different preferences just like most men have different preferences.

Some want to fix a broken guy,
some want to change a jerk to a nice one,
some want to be with a dying guy,
some like mentally unstable psychotic guys,
some like chubby dad bods,
some like ripped roided out gymbros,
some like rich guys.

It's not useful to analyse women and their choices. It's useful to make a life that is whole imo FOR YOU.

What kind of women do YOU like?

Just my 2 cents.

How the F does this happen? If you know her story they met it college. She basically emailed HIM one day at asked HIM out! She's gained some weight but she was about HB8 at one point.
How does a handicapped mini man get a girl like this? When I see this I get really upset. I'm able bodied and all, better looking, and I don't get women hitting me up like this. I can't explain this.

Husband Rates My Favorite Outfits - YouTube

 

[SW15]

A man that is around 6'4" and very fit is above average, I don't have to repeat this a million times on here.

Only ask out 7's at minimum. 6'4", very fit, and muscular means 7.5+ is your range.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Only ask out 7s at minimum.

I second this.

 

[sangheilios]

Only ask out 7's at minimum. 6'4", very fit, and muscular means 7.5+ is your range.

I've posted this on here before, but I recall a while back when I was having a string of rejections after 1st dates, getting numbers, etc. I decided to lower my standards and approach women that I wasn't really all that attracted to. I remember having these experiences of getting auto rejected or being treated really poorly by these women. At first I didn't get it but I believe these women were doing this out of insecurity on their end. Like I was getting dates, albeit only first dates, with women I'd rate as 8s, etc. but yet was getting treated like garbage by 4s and 5s.

 

[SW15]

Like I was getting dates, albeit only first dates, with women I'd rate as 8s, etc. but yet was getting treated like garbage by 4s and 5s.

I have no explanation for you getting treated like garbage by 4s & 5s. The biggest thing to examine is how to get 2nd dates with the 7.5+ audience.

 

[biggoal]

I posted this in another thread but I work around the public a lot, and at the fleamarket I see thousands of people of all ages, incomes, etc. walk past me.

Just today for example I saw a guy overweight (not obese, more dad bod) with a chick a few years younger and she was an HB 8.5-9! Then saw another similar guy with one who was 7 to 7.5. Excluding OLD unless you're obese, or an really ugly guy you should be able to at least date an HB6. HB9 will be tough of course but these HB 6-7 should be possible.

I doubt these guys meet these women from OLD. At least in my region I estimate only about 10 percent of girls are HB7 or above on OLD if luck so you do the math. That's why even above average guys struggle on OLD. Numbers game.

 

[metalwater]

Heilios,

what celebrity do you sort of look like ?

--

some of the guys have the idea that if your an 8+ yourself that the women that are 5- will not vibe with you because they KNOW you are out of the league for them. I can validate that what they tell on that is possible, it happens to me. I'm not an 8+ by default but with some modifiers that I get in my environment, I fit for that. The same thing happens. To expand on that, what I used to do was avoid 7.5+ because my self-image told me that was above me. My long-distance image was already 8... So I was excluding the ones that are good-looking and the less than good-looking were excluding me. That equaled nothing... Not talking about inner anything, just the initial appearance.

the reality is and probably was that 90% of the 7-9 would like to know me. you very well could have a similar situation.

with the game, you, of course, can get the lower SMV girls all day long but without doing that, they might be self-protecting.

on the funny side, getting shut down by a babe feels better than getting shut down by a dog. meaning the risk for you is LESS to try the babes.

 

[joesbigship]

I found her interesting to talk to and figured it might have been worth a shot, I wasn't really all that into her.

A man that is around 6'4" and very fit is above average, I don't have to repeat this a million times on here.

You can be tall and muscular and handsome or average looking or below average looking. If you have an average or below average facial appearance you are not at the level you think/hope you are at.

From what I've seen, there is no correlation between height and the attractiveness of a female partner. If there is, it's so low it's undetectable.

Being in shape definitely helps but doesn't help a lot if your facial appearance is below average.

 

[biggoal]

You can be tall and muscular and handsome or average looking or below average looking. If you have an average or below average facial appearance you are not at the level you think/hope you are at.

From what I've seen, there is no correlation between height and the attractiveness of a female partner. If there is, it's so low it's undetectable.

Being in shape definitely helps but doesn't help a lot if your facial appearance is below average.

To an extent, but height matters to many. Like I was texting with an hb7.5 I met from an app. We were going to meet for coffee. She's 6 2, honestly too tall for my taste but nice face. Anyway, I'm 5 9 and she had second thoughts. She said she dated men shorter than her but it never worked out. So I asked her why did she like me then. She said she thought I was cute and she liked my face she said but she said she's fixed on height. Her last bf was 6 foot 7. She wants guys taller than her. Good luck with that. Finding a guy who's 6 7 very tiny percent of the population.

If a woman had a nice face but 4 foot 7 would you? I doubt it.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I've gotten more rejections from 6's than from 9's-10's. If you're attractive you need to go for attractive women.

If a woman had a nice face but 4 foot 7 would you? I doubt it.

Yes! Dancer, weighed like 95lbs. Incredibly fun nights.

 

[Barrister]

Over the past few years I've had something interesting that I picked up on with women I had asked out, dated, etc., that ended up rejecting me. At the time I'd feel really annoyed with these rejections, which is normal, but what would make it worse was that I'd always see these women date men that were down from my level.

A few years back in 2018 I had a date with a girl I met when I was out with friends, I had a couple brief texts and then poof....ghosted. I was annoyed with it for a while and eventually just moved on. However, I've been seeing this very same girl at my gym on a semi regular basis, like once a week or two. Anyway, when I had gone out with her she was really cute and had a great body but now she is kind of chubby and I honestly wouldn't even ask her out. However, she has this bf that looks like a total dweeb, obviously I don't know him on a personal level but it's always interesting to see something like that.

A couple years ago I tried asking out this women that I'd rate a 4, I wasn't really that attracted to her but I enjoyed talking to her. She rejected me and made some comment about me, which I really didn't care because I wasn't all that into her anyway. However, this woman a few months later has been in a relationship with a man that is around 300 lbs. at 6'1"ish, completely broke and been unemployed since spring of 2020.

I've had a few other experiences like this and I'm not really sure what to make of them and what the take home is. Part of me gets really frustrated by this, seeing them with these guys that don't bring what I have to the table. I feel that most men in my position would feel this way. However, I also question if I'm simply going for the wrong women, or perhaps just meeting the wrong ones.

You have the wrong mindset. This has become sort of a buzz phrase around here but it is important to always have an "abundance mindset" when you deal with women - even if you don't currently have anything in the pipeline. In another words, don't worry about who these chicks end up with or why. You don't care because you are always moving on to the next if you get a rejection and it is no big deal. Don't ever consider a woman above you - but by the same token, don't consider yourself "above" other men as you appear to be doing in the OP. That is not to say that you aren't a better match on paper for a variety of reasons - but it serves no purpose.

 

[bat soup]

Over the past few years I've had something interesting that I picked up on with women I had asked out, dated, etc., that ended up rejecting me. At the time I'd feel really annoyed with these rejections, which is normal, but what would make it worse was that I'd always see these women date men that were down from my level.

A few years back in 2018 I had a date with a girl I met when I was out with friends, I had a couple brief texts and then poof....ghosted. I was annoyed with it for a while and eventually just moved on. However, I've been seeing this very same girl at my gym on a semi regular basis, like once a week or two. Anyway, when I had gone out with her she was really cute and had a great body but now she is kind of chubby and I honestly wouldn't even ask her out. However, she has this bf that looks like a total dweeb, obviously I don't know him on a personal level but it's always interesting to see something like that.

A couple years ago I tried asking out this women that I'd rate a 4, I wasn't really that attracted to her but I enjoyed talking to her. She rejected me and made some comment about me, which I really didn't care because I wasn't all that into her anyway. However, this woman a few months later has been in a relationship with a man that is around 300 lbs. at 6'1"ish, completely broke and been unemployed since spring of 2020.

I've had a few other experiences like this and I'm not really sure what to make of them and what the take home is. Part of me gets really frustrated by this, seeing them with these guys that don't bring what I have to the table. I feel that most men in my position would feel this way. However, I also question if I'm simply going for the wrong women, or perhaps just meeting the wrong ones.

I don't know why you'd even look at a 4, yet alone get upset about who she's dating. Who cares?

Any woman that doesn't want to cooperate is totally irrelevant.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I can't explain this.

Psychological Issues.