Critique my texting (cold approach)

[Suave1]

Hi forums!

I'm looking for advice. I cold approached this girl, and she basically went ghost on me. The conversation went well. It could be me, it could also not be me at all(her problems), but this lead went cold. I want advice on what I could have done better! See below

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I think this is going to be a new post series. I really need to work on my texting I think.

(If you're curious how I meet girls, I catalogue my daily approaches on my college approach log here on the forums)

 

[Zimbabwe]

Why did you double text? She didn't "forget" to reply. She's not interested.

Next time just have a 5 min call and set up the date that way.

 

[Suave1]

Why did you double text? She didn't "forget" to reply. She's not interested.

Next time just have a 5 min call and set up the date that way.

Agree about her "forgetting". I already had a feeling on that double text it was dead, but I'm persistent regardless.

I don't really do calls because I'm talking to mostly college aged women who never call anyone

 

[SetinStone22]

Agree about her "forgetting". I already had a feeling on that double text it was dead, but I'm persistent regardless.

I don't really do calls because I'm talking to mostly college aged women who never call anyone

Double text doesnt mean anything with 100% of women. With some women, they want to test you by seeing if you're really serious about them or you simply approach many girls and crack whatever one comes easy. So they'll purposely ignore a text or two , especially initially to see how you react. ---- The spectrum goin from dudes who get pis.ssed and say some insultin sht to the girl, to guys who simply dont text again and leave the balll in her court completely.. you fell right in the middle which aint bad

But besides dat homie, ya text game comes off as super eager.. You coulda let the convo cook more, develop some rapport and curiosity.

Always incite curiosity and interest in a woman first, then everything else comes easy.

To each their own when it comes to style but---- Why i dont like this type of game that u runnin is simple: You really never make ya intention wit the woman clear cut. and thats fine.. With abundance comes more risk anyways. For me, I try to make it as clear as possible int he way i talk to them... but check-- the way i come across to a woman is gon be diff than you do-- cuz i talk a certain way, dress a certain way-- my whole aura speaks purveyor of sexual pleasure and fun, excitement and not much else--

so what i want you to know is--: you can be a bit more flirty dawg, aint no trouble in that-- you can be flirty with out bein eager.. a slight flirtacious comment jus gives her the hint that she understands where this sht goes.. so he doesnt think ur jus some weirdo who wants to meet and talk to her just cuz u really are lonely and have no friends or something


--Lastly, I want you to know when she said "I didnt get the business card" this was yo queue to tell her, while you are an insurance dude, you really trna insure that body of hers before u break it in-- but in the nicest way possible you fill me? she was testin u to see if u was cappin or what your intention was... when she replied There ya gooo it just feels like she was like "oh he was serious... i thought he was being clever and cunning to get what he really wants which is me"

 

[Willie Naylor]

Agree about her "forgetting". I already had a feeling on that double text it was dead, but I'm persistent regardless.

I don't really do calls because I'm talking to mostly college aged women who never call anyone

There were some mistakes up front that have already been covered, but at the end when she said 8am...

you said 'oh nvm nxt week then.'

In a way, you blew her off. You could've set it up for 7am.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Sometimes us Red Pilled guys take it a little too far when it comes to the whole 'don't be too available' thing.

 

[Suave1]

Thank you @Zimbabwe @SetinStone22 @Pan87 @Family Man for spending your time responding to this thread. The consensus answer, which I agree with, is that she is no longer interested really. I am in the feminine position right now by reacting negatively to her not responding. As a rule of thumb, any girl who doesn't respond and I have to double text, is gone 95% of the time. If I do text again, it's simply to test new texting ideas/sequences.

I read back through it and came up with the following ideas for improvement:
Image 1, when she asked for my card, instead of saying "nice to meet you", say something cheeky like "Hit me up if you ever want to buy that motorhome and need insurance"... We talked briefly about motorhomes, and this would spark a conversation easily.
Image 1, remove "i have a question"(self explainatory)
Image 2, after hella energy, don't go for the close there, say instead "Yea when I'm super happy and feeling myself I think I could squat 1000 pounds" or something similar. Basically a statement agreeing and amplifying.
Image 2, after "how are you", don't reply logically to her. Instead, "i saw a commercial for (lifting product) and thought of you" or something, basically a statement
Image 3, "Don't work too hard" or something to that effect, not a question. Basically in all the texts, less questions, more statements that amplify what she is saying and puts your own twist on it.

She went cold. You have your answer man.

If a girl goes cold then it's over, unless SHE decides that she wants to revisit it. There's this idea in PUA that you can turn a cold girl into a Yes girl with PUA magic. Incorrect. Once she's decided she's not attracted to you then your only move is to disappear.

If you want a girl to be attracted to you, then you have to get it right from the beginning. If you cold approach, get a number, she goes cold, then you have to match her and go cold too. Women absolutely despise persistent guys who can't take a hint. Your value tumbles ever lower with each successive attempt you make.

You want her to be chasing you. You want her wondering why YOU have gone cold.

You're basically in the feminine position at the moment, freaking out over what she thinks about you. Men don't do that.

Absolutely bro. Thank you for replying.

There were some mistakes up front that have already been covered, but at the end when she said 8am...

you said 'oh nvm nxt week then.'

In a way, you blew her off. You could've set it up for 7am.

I could have made that "nvm" text sound a bit better, I agree. But I'm not waking up early to meet a girl for coffee because there is 0 chance of escalation(she has work) and I value my sleep more than a date with a girl who is being difficult(like this one).

Double text doesnt mean anything with 100% of women. With some women, they want to test you by seeing if you're really serious about them or you simply approach many girls and crack whatever one comes easy. So they'll purposely ignore a text or two , especially initially to see how you react. ---- The spectrum goin from dudes who get pis.ssed and say some insultin sht to the girl, to guys who simply dont text again and leave the balll in her court completely.. you fell right in the middle which aint bad

But besides dat homie, ya text game comes off as super eager.. You coulda let the convo cook more, develop some rapport and curiosity.

Always incite curiosity and interest in a woman first, then everything else comes easy.

To each their own when it comes to style but---- Why i dont like this type of game that u runnin is simple: You really never make ya intention wit the woman clear cut. and thats fine.. With abundance comes more risk anyways. For me, I try to make it as clear as possible int he way i talk to them... but check-- the way i come across to a woman is gon be diff than you do-- cuz i talk a certain way, dress a certain way-- my whole aura speaks purveyor of sexual pleasure and fun, excitement and not much else--

so what i want you to know is--: you can be a bit more flirty dawg, aint no trouble in that-- you can be flirty with out bein eager.. a slight flirtacious comment jus gives her the hint that she understands where this sht goes.. so he doesnt think ur jus some weirdo who wants to meet and talk to her just cuz u really are lonely and have no friends or something


--Lastly, I want you to know when she said "I didnt get the business card" this was yo queue to tell her, while you are an insurance dude, you really trna insure that body of hers before u break it in-- but in the nicest way possible you fill me? she was testin u to see if u was cappin or what your intention was... when she replied There ya gooo it just feels like she was like "oh he was serious... i thought he was being clever and cunning to get what he really wants which is me"

Agree that I need to be less eager. I should have matched her mood.

Agree about her "forgetting". I already had a feeling on that double text it was dead, but I'm persistent regardless.

I don't really do calls because I'm talking to mostly college aged women who never call anyone

Agree. "forgetting" doesn't happen if a girl really likes you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi forums!

I'm looking for advice. I cold approached this girl, and she basically went ghost on me. The conversation went well. It could be me, it could also not be me at all(her problems), but this lead went cold. I want advice on what I could have done better! See below

What do you mean, conversation went well? There is nothing in that conversation that even hints at her being interested. Clearly, she was not. No big deal, move on to someone else.

 

[Suave1]

What do you mean, conversation went well? There is nothing in that conversation that even hints at her being interested. Clearly, she was not. No big deal, move on to someone else.

I meant conversation in person. Should have clarified

 

[Francis]

There's nothing that I see particularly wrong. Generally when a girl is interested she is more eager and excited even if a bit reserved. I'm not seeing much interest here.

I wouldn't have sent that last text though. Don't try to "keep things alive" like that. It's the woman's job after you initiate interest to come to you and reciprocate. They're the ones who come into your space, text to make sure you're still interested, and if turning down an offer, have a counter ready. You shouldn't be doing everything. And you don't want to set yourself up to be strung along.

Basically, what you are doing, she should be doing. And would be doing if she was interested.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She may not be interested but you approached it like a business conversation...I think you were a little too serious.

I would have teased her about the business card before sending it.

I think you need a more playful and less business like vibe in those texts.

 

[zinc4]

Hi forums!

I'm looking for advice. I cold approached this girl, and she basically went ghost on me. The conversation went well. It could be me, it could also not be me at all(her problems), but this lead went cold. I want advice on what I could have done better! See below

Album — Postimages

postimg.cc

(Please note: these images will expire in a month)

I think this is going to be a new post series. I really need to work on my texting I think.

(If you're curious how I meet girls, I catalogue my daily approaches on my college approach log here on the forums)

You made a few errors here.

The biggest ones were that you asked her for coffee too soon and abruptly then when she didnt really acknowledge you doubled down on that.....kind of pressuring/forcing an answer.

Next time text a bit here and there for a few days then ask her out for a drink not coffee imo.

You are just a stranger she met in public...lower status than an online guy unless you are chad....weird i know but these are the digital times that we live in. It's not the 90s or even early 2000s anymore.

I also feel like you validated her way too soon with praising her career so much early on.

 

[Suave1]

There's nothing that I see particularly wrong. Generally when a girl is interested she is more eager and excited even if a bit reserved. I'm not seeing much interest here.

I wouldn't have sent that last text though. Don't try to "keep things alive" like that. It's the woman's job after you initiate interest to come to you and reciprocate. They're the ones who come into your space, text to make sure you're still interested, and if turning down an offer, have a counter ready. You shouldn't be doing everything. And you don't want to set yourself up to be strung along.

Basically, what you are doing, she should be doing. And would be doing if she was interested.

Agree that she didn't show much interest. However, where I'm at, girls do NOT pursue guys at all, unless you are mega chad. We are expected to do basically everything, the girl just follows. It may also be the age. 25+ is where women seem to become more proactive, based on my experience of laying 2 girls over 25(not a big enough data set to make a firm conclusion).

She may not be interested but you approached it like a business conversation...I think you were a little too serious.

I would have teased her about the business card before sending it.

I think you need a more playful and less business like vibe in those texts.

You're absolutely right. I'm scared to look stupid and say something too flirtatious, so this is something I'm going to work on slowly. I think posting more threads like this really help.

You made a few errors here.

The biggest ones were that you asked her for coffee too soon and abruptly then when she didnt really acknowledge you doubled down on that.....kind of pressuring/forcing an answer.

Next time text a bit here and there for a few days then ask her out for a drink not coffee imo.

You are just a stranger she met in public...lower status than an online guy unless you are chad....weird i know but these are the digital times that we live in. It's not the 90s or even early 2000s anymore.

I also feel like you validated her way too soon with praising her career so much early on.

Good one! I could have started a conversation with her, and ended it around "fell asleep oops". Then, started a conversation again then asked her out. Basically, bury the non-answer under a thread. Also agree about the validation. I should have done something like "hope you weren't late to work bc of me *tounge out emoji*. Great advice!!

 

[3AM]

If I were in your shoes, reading all of these responses, I would end up being confused honestly.

Conversation, whether in text or in person is a flow. There does tend to be a different flow with texting than in person so some general rules apply, but these rules can and should be broken from time to time. I think Family Man was getting at this with his response.

General rules can be 1) Always lead with sarcasm and banter 2)Push pull whenever possible (Give her playful ****) 3) don't double text. Knowing when to close is a feel and thus in this area makes it an art. The thing here is, these rules don't always apply, so you need to be able to read the conversation, which to me, takes time.

If you go by general rules and learn when to break them, you will crush at texting game and easily setup dates.

My overall assessment if I was looking at a rough feel of the text was, you weren't leading with enough banter. So you came across as obvious. Girls know when a guy is interested which is nearly all of the time. So it comes across to neediness which women have a fine tuned sense for, even if it isn't really true. (Perception rules the world here). Anyways, coming out soon after with a close is what was making this crash.

If you employ more of a carefree banter attitude then you can usually close earlier from my experience. If you take more of a direct business approach that isn't as playful, then you need to stay in the pocket longer and build rapport.

In summation, play with the elements and figure out what works for you. Whatever you choose, you MUST be congruent! If your text doesn't match your actions in person then it's a big waste.

 

[biggoal]

Texting doesn't mean sh** until you get an actual date. I've probably this year despite my cold streak have got about 25 numbers off OLD.

 

[3AM]

Texting doesn't mean sh** until you get an actual date. I've probably this year despite my cold streak have got about 25 numbers off OLD.

Have to respectfully disagree. Knowing what you are doing in the beginning can either land you that date or not.

 

[biggoal]

Have to respectfully disagree. Knowing what you are doing in the beginning can either land you that date or not.

Usually when a girl gives you her cell number to text she seems pretty interested in a date. Doesn't mean you get a date. Lots of times I get uninterested or I'll look them up on spydailer or reverse phone search and get their name and look at their facebook then see they don't look as good and decline a date.

 

[SW15]

Agree about her "forgetting". I already had a feeling on that double text it was dead, but I'm persistent regardless.

I don't really do calls because I'm talking to mostly college aged women who never call anyone

Double texting is a big no-no prior to first time sex with a new woman. Before hitting send on any text, take a few deep breaths, re-read the planned text, and ask yourself if you've said everything that needs to be said. Then send the text message. Whatever happens then is whatever. You've done your part.

The best thing is to do is to eliminate technology as much as possible from your early stage interactions. In your initial approach, get her to agree to a time and date. Then get her number and send a text to her with those details. Introduce yourself as she will be seeing a new number in her phone for the first time in 99%+ of all cases. The rare exception occurs when you get a woman's number twice spaced months apartment. I had this happen with some woman at my gym after fitness class and I had a friends who had this happen with night game. In theory, she might be able to see a text from months earlier that she didn't reply to.

Another obstacle comes after the 1st date, 2nd date, and/or 3rd date until first time sex. Let's say there's a good first date and you want to see her again. One idea that is tempting to many men to avoid technology is to ask her out for date 2 as the in-person portion of date 1 ends. This is not the right idea because it can be perceived as too desperate. The best method at this time is to use the @EyeBRollin method of not texting a woman for 5-9 days after an early stage date or wait until she texts you first. This is a modified version of Doc Love's "Wait a Week to Call" practice from "The System" in the 1990s. Using this method is a good screener to see who is high interest and gives off a perception of being a busy, in-demand man, which is what women want. If a woman is high interest enough, she'll text you after 2-3 days and then you can set a date. Keep in mind that this @EyeBRollin / Doc Love type communication system is only to be used with women you meet from either cold approach or swipe app. If you're getting set up via an acquaintance, you probably don't need to throttle communications that much to influence perception positively. In that case, just don't over text and you're fine. Most of us reading this forum aren't meeting women through our social sphere but rather strangers from approaching in-person randomly or swiping/texting.

I understand what you are saying about women not picking up the phone for calls. I moved to a new city in 2011 and I observed then that it was getting extremely difficult to get 23-27 year old women on phone calls (I was 28 then). If I were pursuing these women today, they would be mid 30s. In the early stages of dating, I would say today that it's quite a challenge to get anyone under 30 on a phone call. Women 30-39 today, it's possible to get them on a call, but only if you figure out a time via text first. Eventually, after a few instances of sex and the passage of about 2 months, you figure out each other's communication preferences and then random phone calls might happen.

Have to respectfully disagree. Knowing what you are doing in the beginning can either land you that date or not.

Yes, text game can be difference between landing a date or not if you're meeting via swipe app or using social media DMs to find dates.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi forums!

I'm looking for advice. I cold approached this girl, and she basically went ghost on me. The conversation went well. It could be me, it could also not be me at all(her problems), but this lead went cold. I want advice on what I could have done better! See below

Album — Postimages

postimg.cc

(Please note: these images will expire in a month)

I think this is going to be a new post series. I really need to work on my texting I think.

(If you're curious how I meet girls, I catalogue my daily approaches on my college approach log here on the forums)

If she ghosted, you go get more girls. If you beat it rotten, you still go get more girls.

I don't chase. I replace. This goes for everything in life be it biz, girls, stock market etc. Always be sourcing. Keep moving. It doesn't matter the moves you make. It matters that you are a man and you make moves. Calibrate after the fact.

 

[zinc4]

If she ghosted, you go get more girls. If you beat it rotten, you still go get more girls.

I don't chase. I replace. This goes for everything in life be it biz, girls, stock market etc. Always be sourcing. Keep moving. It doesn't matter the moves you make. It matters that you are a man and you make moves. Calibrate after the fact.

Facts i just deleted 3 online girls yesterday because lack of enthusiasm on their part. No point in chasing anyone. It will mess up your energy too.