Where Are the Young Adults???

[PRW63]

The level of catfishing on meetup is getting way out of hand.

Most are old women who are posting photos which are 15, 20, 30(!) years out of date!

The other women are shooping their photos using cheap online filters and apps but these women are so dumb they'll filter out their face wrinkles but leave all of their neck wrinkles showing. WTF?

Most of us don't care. We aren't treating it like Tinder. We only want it to be good enough to identify them for security purposes. The ones we do push back on are ones that are very obscured or its a pet, their kids, artwork, etc.

 

[SW15]

Anything online is mostly rubbish though.

If you're thinking about how to spend your time meeting women, ask yourself this question...

Was this method around before the internet?

If yes, it is likely worth doing.

Approaching in public at non-bar venues-Do it!
Approaching at bars-Do it!
Approaching at a private residence party-Do it! Also, that's impressive because you've somewhat built a social circle to do it. College is the exception here because it is easy to find private residence parties without having much of a circle.

If no, it's not worth doing. 100%. If it evolved out of the internet era or is gimmicky to some degree, don't bother.

Websites/Swipe apps-Don't do.
Speed Dating-Gimmick, don't do.
Meetup-Gimmick, though social groups existed in the pre-internet era, making it a more difficult choice to evaluate. I'd recommend social or interest group if they aren't affiliated with Meetup.com
Matchmakers-Gimmick. Matchmakers were around in the pre-internet era so that makes evaluating that option more complex. Very few are worth their salt. Anyway, very few couples actually form from matchmakers. Most matchmakers charge a decent amount for what they do and most don't deliver. If you can approach well or can build a social circle, odds are you won't need a matchmaker.

 

[biggoal]

If you're thinking about how to spend your time meeting women, ask yourself this question...

Was this method around before the internet?

If yes, it is likely worth doing.

Approaching in public at non-bar venues-Do it!
Approaching at bars-Do it!
Approaching at a private residence party-Do it! Also, that's impressive because you've somewhat built a social circle to do it. College is the exception here because it is easy to find private residence parties without having much of a circle.

If no, it's not worth doing. 100%. If it evolved out of the internet era or is gimmicky to some degree, don't bother.

Websites/Swipe apps-Don't do.
Speed Dating-Gimmick, don't do.
Meetup-Gimmick, though social groups existed in the pre-internet era, making it a more difficult choice to evaluate. I'd recommend social or interest group if they aren't affiliated with Meetup.com
Matchmakers-Gimmick. Matchmakers were around in the pre-internet era so that makes evaluating that option more complex. Very few are worth their salt. Anyway, very few couples actually form from matchmakers. Most matchmakers charge a decent amount for what they do and most don't deliver. If you can approach well or can build a social circle, odds are you won't need a matchmaker.

I know speed dating is non existent now, but before online dating what was speed dating like? Was it mostly land whales and bottom of the barrel women?

Sh*tty Match I heard still does events but very lame and hardly anyone shows up I've read and this is in the large cities. usually it's a couple sub par women and maybe a dozen guys and most of the guys are on the spectrum or have some other issues.

 

[SW15]

I know speed dating is non existent now, but before online dating what was speed dating like? Was it mostly land whales and bottom of the barrel women?

Sh*tty Match I heard still does events but very lame and hardly anyone shows up I've read and this is in the large cities. usually it's a couple sub par women and maybe a dozen guys and most of the guys are on the spectrum or have some other issues.

I never went to speed dating before online dating. Online dating originated in the 1990s (as did speed dating) and then the app era started with Tinder in 2012. I did go to a speed dating event in the mid-2000s that was decent. The problem is that I was 23 at the time and my decent matches were 26-28. That's not an easy sell though not impossible. Had I been 30 then, that event might have been worthwhile. However, even then, other than those 2, 26-28 year olds, the rest of the other 10+ women I met that night were bottom of the barrel. I think speed dating got even worse after 2010.

Match.com did real life events into the 2010s. I heard the same things you heard and I've been in large U.S. metros since my mid-2000s college graduation.

Two other things that were around before the internet that I didn't address earlier:

Co-Ed Sports Leagues: In the 2000s/2010s, this was a common thing for 20s/30s people to do. Kickball had a meteoric surge in popularity around the late 2000s/early 2010s. Almost all co-ed team sports have young adults. A good percentage of the participating population in co-ed sports is doing it because they are single and looking to date. However, there are some established couples/established teams who do things. It can be a bit cliquey and social circle to do. You're generally going to have a better experience in a sports league if you establish your own team from your existing circle of friends rather than sign up as a free agent to join teams that are 1-2 players short of a full team or a random team comprised of all free agents. This is even more true when the sport requires actual skill, like volleyball or soccer. Kickball is complete bullshiit and doesn't require actual skill. Regardless of the sport, most of the socializing and finding romance occurs after the end of the game at some sponsor bar. The games are filler for the actual picking up.

I recommend co-ed sports leagues if you're passionate about the sport. If you're doing it just for the dating, you're likely to be sorely disappointed. It's effectiveness is questionable and it's definitely not efficient. For efficiency's sake, you're likely better off going to fitness classes and doing approaches before or after classes, especially if you're joining leagues as a free agent and don't have social ties within the league. You're more likely to build social ties if you do the leagues season after season. Co-ed sports leagues are difficult to swoop into and get dates from random approaching after games.

Alumni Groups: This is a recommend. It's so easy to get dates from this in non-pandemic times. The pandemic has reduced or eliminated alumni group events. Prior to the pandemic, these tended to happen in bars. Plenty of young adults do these groups.

Some tips:
1. Don't go to alumni events that are centered around college football or college basketball games. You'd be surprised at how many women pay close attention to the games and actually aren't receptive to an extended conversation that can lead to a 1 on 1 date another night or a same night lay.
2. Screen for women who are too career oriented. Some women do alumni events for career networking. Try to talk as little about your bullshiit or her bullshiit white collar job at these events. Avoid women whose occupations are high powered and dominant. Those would be lawyers, doctors, and mid-level or higher business managers. Look for fun liberal arts majors or some business majors. A lot of women major in business and go into Marketing/Advertising/Public Relations/Human Resources. These women are tough to discern because some can be fun and don't take their careers too seriously whereas others are career driven, feminist, SJW ballbusters.

 

[biggoal]

I never went to speed dating before online dating. Online dating originated in the 1990s (as did speed dating) and then the app era started with Tinder in 2012. I did go to a speed dating event in the mid-2000s that was decent. The problem is that I was 23 at the time and my decent matches were 26-28. That's not an easy sell though not impossible. Had I been 30 then, that event might have been worthwhile. However, even then, other than those 2, 26-28 year olds, the rest of the other 10+ women I met that night were bottom of the barrel. I think speed dating got even worse after 2010.

Match.com did real life events into the 2010s. I heard the same things you heard and I've been in large U.S. metros since my mid-2000s college graduation.

Two other things that were around before the internet that I didn't address earlier:

Co-Ed Sports Leagues: In the 2000s/2010s, this was a common thing for 20s/30s people to do. Kickball had a meteoric surge in popularity around the late 2000s/early 2010s. Almost all co-ed team sports have young adults. A good percentage of the participating population in co-ed sports is doing it because they are single and looking to date. However, there are some established couples/established teams who do things. It can be a bit cliquey and social circle to do. You're generally going to have a better experience in a sports league if you establish your own team from your existing circle of friends rather than sign up as a free agent to join teams that are 1-2 players short of a full team or a random team comprised of all free agents. This is even more true when the sport requires actual skill, like volleyball or soccer. Kickball is complete bullshiit and doesn't require actual skill. Regardless of the sport, most of the socializing and finding romance occurs after the end of the game at some sponsor bar. The games are filler for the actual picking up.

I recommend co-ed sports leagues if you're passionate about the sport. If you're doing it just for the dating, you're likely to be sorely disappointed. It's effectiveness is questionable and it's definitely not efficient. For efficiency's sake, you're likely better off going to fitness classes and doing approaches before or after classes, especially if you're joining leagues as a free agent and don't have social ties within the league. You're more likely to build social ties if you do the leagues season after season. Co-ed sports leagues are difficult to swoop into and get dates from random approaching after games.

Alumni Groups: This is a recommend. It's so easy to get dates from this in non-pandemic times. The pandemic has reduced or eliminated alumni group events. Prior to the pandemic, these tended to happen in bars. Plenty of young adults do these groups.

Some tips:
1. Don't go to alumni events that are centered around college football or college basketball games. You'd be surprised at how many women pay close attention to the games and actually aren't receptive to an extended conversation that can lead to a 1 on 1 date another night or a same night lay.
2. Screen for women who are too career oriented. Some women do alumni events for career networking. Try to talk as little about your bullshiit or her bullshiit white collar job at these events. Avoid women whose occupations are high powered and dominant. Those would be lawyers, doctors, and mid-level or higher business managers. Look for fun liberal arts majors or some business majors. A lot of women major in business and go into Marketing/Advertising/Public Relations/Human Resources. These women are tough to discern because some can be fun and don't take their careers too seriously whereas others are career driven, feminist, SJW ballbusters.

Take that back, a Match even MIGHT be OK if you go to it and you're dressed normal and don't talk like you have autisim then you should totally stand out by not looking like a creepy. I recall when I read about them the person said there was only one decent looking girl and it was an Asian realtor who didn't speak hardly at all and just sat there. Of course if there events are anything like their glitchy website then you know it's bad! I would think even if there is only 4 women there but one okay HB6-7 and all the guys are creeps and mental you should be able to at min get her number.

 

[SW15]

Take that back, a Match even MIGHT be OK if you go to it and you're dressed normal and don't talk like you have autisim then you should totally stand out by not looking like a creepy. I recall when I read about them the person said there was only one decent looking girl and it was an Asian realtor who didn't speak hardly at all and just sat there. Of course if there events are anything like their glitchy website then you know it's bad! I would think even if there is only 4 women there but one okay HB6-7 and all the guys are creeps and mental you should be able to at min get her number.

You commented about the least important thing that I discussed in what you quoted from me.

Match events are bad. It's a gimmicky thing that I said is best to be avoided. Any "singles mixer" is a gimmick that is best avoided as well.

Most of the gimmicky type events are attended by women of subpar looks and men of subpar social skills.

 

[biggoal]

You commented about the least important thing that I discussed in what you quoted from me.

Match events are bad. It's a gimmicky thing that I said is best to be avoided. Any "singles mixer" is a gimmick that is best avoided as well.

Most of the gimmicky type events are attended by women of subpar looks and men of subpar social skills.

Plus I don't think most people even know about them.

Match sucks ever since they bought all the old sites. Now they took features away, cost more and the sites are very glitch and not user friendly. I think that's another reason why match site is so terrible quality. Notice people join and when the month membership is up they disappear.

Tinder was great too. When match bought tinder it went to sh*ts.

I think old has gone the way of the dinosaur, hence why quality is now terrible. People gone back to meeting at work, friends, school.

I would honestly go to a match event just to see how bad it is just for kicks but they're usually 90 miles away in Tampa. Not worth the gas money.

 

[SW15]

I think old has gone the way of the dinosaur, hence why quality is now terrible. People gone back to meeting at work, friends, school.

You're completely wrong. Websites and swipe apps are displacing the other ways of meeting people (see chart below). Even when someone actually forms a relationship through it, it is highly inefficient. Likely more inefficient than real life, in-person ways of meeting people. Most people are best served avoiding gimmicky things, including swipe apps. So much frustration!

Even with more couples forming via swipe apps, the data set below doesn't account for duration of relationships. My guess is that a lot of these swipe app couple formations typically result in shorter relationships than the other ways of meeting people for relationships.

Younger people are not meeting at work, as shown by the data. That's been fading since the 1990s. Do you know what else has happened since the 1990s? Tuition costs for higher education have gone way up. There have been 3 severe recessions (early 2000s dot com bust, Great Recession, COVID 2020). Interviewing for jobs has become more difficult. There's #MeToo. All this stuff discourages co-workers from meeting each other.

For decades, as more people went to college, more people formed extended romantic relationships from interactions on campus with the man approaching the woman. Perhaps this happened after a class, in some extracurricular activity, or at a private residence party. Around 2000, as the Millennials were first getting to college, formation of couples in college diminished. I've tracked a lot of my contacts from my college years over time on social media. Almost no one today from that cohort is with their college era partner. This also coincides with the Millennials having poor social skills and the rise of internet technology, which worsened the social skills of Millennials. Now that Millennials have finished undergrad (some may still be in grad school), I doubt this changes with Gen Z.

Look at how social circle meetings have dropped off since 1990. Social circle is still the best way to meet someone of quality and the process is easiest. People's social circles are weakening for many reasons.

 

[RickTheToad]

You're completely wrong. Websites and swipe apps are displacing the other ways of meeting people (see chart below). Even when someone actually forms a relationship through it, it is highly inefficient. Likely more inefficient than real life, in-person ways of meeting people. Most people are best served avoiding gimmicky things, including swipe apps. So much frustration!

Even with more couples forming via swipe apps, the data set below doesn't account for duration of relationships. My guess is that a lot of these swipe app couple formations typically result in shorter relationships than the other ways of meeting people for relationships.

Younger people are not meeting at work, as shown by the data. That's been fading since the 1990s. Do you know what else has happened since the 1990s? Tuition costs for higher education have gone way up. There have been 3 severe recessions (early 2000s dot com bust, Great Recession, COVID 2020). Interviewing for jobs has become more difficult. There's #MeToo. All this stuff discourages co-workers from meeting each other.

For decades, as more people went to college, more people formed extended romantic relationships from interactions on campus with the man approaching the woman. Perhaps this happened after a class, in some extracurricular activity, or at a private residence party. Around 2000, as the Millennials were first getting to college, formation of couples in college diminished. I've tracked a lot of my contacts from my college years over time on social media. Almost no one today from that cohort is with their college era partner. This also coincides with the Millennials having poor social skills and the rise of internet technology, which worsened the social skills of Millennials. Now that Millennials have finished undergrad (some may still be in grad school), I doubt this changes with Gen Z.

Look at how social circle meetings have dropped off since 1990. Social circle is still the best way to meet someone of quality and the process is easiest. People's social circles are weakening for many reasons.

People are spoiled for choice. Depends on where people are in life and what they are looking for in order for any type of relationship to work. Attraction is key; online or off.

 

[joesbigship]

The ugly reality is this: while the most attractive women are 18 to 25, almost all of them are inaccessible since they are in college or grad school and therefore "locked down" on college campuses.

How many of us have the time or ability to wander around college campuses during the day? Very few if any.

When coeds venture off campus, most are trained to wear masks, avoid strangers and do their duty by "stopping the spread" or whatever bs propaganda is floating around in their brain.

College is so expensive that almost all are working 20 hours a week and none are in a position to challenge mask mandates at work.

The best bet is to live in red states where there is some pushback, but financial opportunities are concentrated in big cities most of which are defacto communist.

Sh-t just hit hard mode as of early 2020.

 

[biggoal]

The ugly reality is this: while the most attractive women are 18 to 25, almost all of them are inaccessible since they are in college or grad school and therefore "locked down" on college campuses.

How many of us have the time or ability to wander around college campuses during the day? Very few if any.

When coeds venture off campus, most are trained to wear masks, avoid strangers and do their duty by "stopping the spread" or whatever bs propaganda is floating around in their brain.

College is so expensive that almost all are working 20 hours a week and none are in a position to challenge mask mandates at work.

The best bet is to live in red states where there is some pushback, but financial opportunities are concentrated in big cities most of which are defacto communist.

Sh-t just hit hard mode as of early 2020.

Good way of putting it. Also, most of them are not single, the hottest ones who're young, many of them! They locked down someone from college or high school. Many of them marry young. This is why you see so many single, divorced moms in their 30s.

IRL hot, college degree girls in many cases lock down someone they met when they were young.

 

[SW15]

IRL hot, college degree girls in many cases lock down someone they met when they were young.

If that were true, why have most of the former hotties from my time in college (early to mid 2000s) now with men other than their college boyfriends? Why do we see fewer existing relationships formed from college attendees of 2000-2015 in general (see chart from a previous post)?

Most relationships formed in college are dying out by the time the participants are 25-30.

 

[biggoal]

You're completely wrong. Websites and swipe apps are displacing the other ways of meeting people (see chart below). Even when someone actually forms a relationship through it, it is highly inefficient. Likely more inefficient than real life, in-person ways of meeting people. Most people are best served avoiding gimmicky things, including swipe apps. So much frustration!

Even with more couples forming via swipe apps, the data set below doesn't account for duration of relationships. My guess is that a lot of these swipe app couple formations typically result in shorter relationships than the other ways of meeting people for relationships.

Younger people are not meeting at work, as shown by the data. That's been fading since the 1990s. Do you know what else has happened since the 1990s? Tuition costs for higher education have gone way up. There have been 3 severe recessions (early 2000s dot com bust, Great Recession, COVID 2020). Interviewing for jobs has become more difficult. There's #MeToo. All this stuff discourages co-workers from meeting each other.

For decades, as more people went to college, more people formed extended romantic relationships from interactions on campus with the man approaching the woman. Perhaps this happened after a class, in some extracurricular activity, or at a private residence party. Around 2000, as the Millennials were first getting to college, formation of couples in college diminished. I've tracked a lot of my contacts from my college years over time on social media. Almost no one today from that cohort is with their college era partner. This also coincides with the Millennials having poor social skills and the rise of internet technology, which worsened the social skills of Millennials. Now that Millennials have finished undergrad (some may still be in grad school), I doubt this changes with Gen Z.

Look at how social circle meetings have dropped off since 1990. Social circle is still the best way to meet someone of quality and the process is easiest. People's social circles are weakening for many reasons.

Then why are literally upwards of 90 percent of the women on OLD sites fat, ugly, or covered in tats? I know women today are fatter and more tatted, but the percentages are still not that high IRL.

You know, from IRL people I've known, the only time I've seen OLD work was when it was two fat and ugly people meet. Because they're both on the same level as each other, both not in high demand.

I work a part-time job with teens and college age adults. None of the cute girls HB6 and on up use the OLD websites around here. They're never on the apps the 5 years I've worked there. They all meet their boyfriends at college, and parties or from school. Only female on saw on there was a fat HB2 co-worker. They tell me they have no use for it. It's also a small local area so I see literally everyone who's on there.

Even my relatives one, HB6, one 7, one is a solid 8, and another cousin HB8.5. They never use OLD. All met their boyfriends either at college or through playing soccer at church.

 

[biggoal]

If that were true, why have most of the former hotties from my time in college (early to mid 2000s) now with men other than their college boyfriends? Why do we see fewer existing relationships formed from college attendees of 2000-2015 in general (see chart from a previous post)?

Most relationships formed in college are dying out by the time the participants are 25-30.

That's why they turn into single moms. Around here in my retirement age hell hole, the few decent hot women I see in the 24-30 age range all have rings are their fingers and usually have a kid.

These HB8 women are usually not on OLD.

 

[SW15]

Then why are literally upwards of 90 percent of the women on OLD sites fat, ugly, or covered in tats? I know women today are fatter and more tatted, but the percentages are still not that high IRL.

You know, from IRL people I've known, the only time I've seen OLD work was when it was two fat and ugly people meet. Because they're both on the same level as each other, both not in high demand.

I work a part-time job with teens and college age adults. None of the cute girls HB6 and on up use the OLD websites around here. They're never on the apps the 5 years I've worked there. They all meet their boyfriends at college, and parties or from school. Only female on saw on there was a fat HB2 co-worker. They tell me they have no use for it. It's also a small local area so I see literally everyone who's on there.

Even my relatives one, HB6, one 7, one is a solid 8, and another cousin HB8.5. They never use OLD. All met their boyfriends either at college or through playing soccer at church.

Your relatives are not a representative sample. Neither are the people you meet at a part time job. Larger data sets are more reliable. I will say I don't blame you for thinking the way that you do. The majority of the friends I met in my current city met their girlfriends/wives through college, social circle, or cold approach. I know 3 married friends (2 from current city and 1 from a past city) married due to dating websites in the pre swipe app era. Your sample sizes and my sample sizes are too small to be statistically valid.

That's why they turn into single moms. Around here in my retirement age hell hole, the few decent hot women I see in the 24-30 age range all have rings are their fingers and usually have a kid.

These HB8 women are usually not on OLD.

You needed to move yesterday. If the majority of the population is retirement age (55+) and you are under 40, you're going to have problems no matter how tight your game is.

About 10 years ago, I used to think that what I saw on dating websites (pre-swipe app era) was not reflective of the singles market as a whole. I'm less convinced of that now because a greater percentage of singles are now on the swipe apps. However, I think you're on to something that the best looking women find their ways into relationships without having to put themselves out on swipe apps.

 

[biggoal]

Your relatives are not a representative sample. Neither are the people you meet at a part time job. Larger data sets are more reliable. I will say I don't blame you for thinking the way that you do. The majority of the friends I met in my current city met their girlfriends/wives through college, social circle, or cold approach. I know 3 married friends (2 from current city and 1 from a past city) married due to dating websites in the pre swipe app era. Your sample sizes and my sample sizes are too small to be statistically valid.



You needed to move yesterday. If the majority of the population is retirement age (55+) and you are under 40, you're going to have problems no matter how tight your game is.

About 10 years ago, I used to think that what I saw on dating websites (pre-swipe app era) was not reflective of the singles market as a whole. I'm less convinced of that now because a greater percentage of singles are now on the swipe apps. However, I think you're on to something that the best looking women find their ways into relationships without having to put themselves out on swipe apps.

Correct.

"Most" is the key here. Pre Covid especially I could still find age appropriate hot women on OLD but still not many. Match before Covid hit was the best one around here within 50 miles. The dates I had from Match were around my age, no kids and HB7 and up to almost hb9. However these women were a total mess mentally. One I posted about HB9 was a gold digging disaster and divorced within one year, the other on the 3 hour date talked about being sexually abused by her brother a lot and was in therapy for it and was going on 3 dates a week and complaining about each date she went on.

A woman who's HB8 as long as she's not mentally unstable isn't on or doesn't need OLD. She has friends, social circles and all sorts of options at her disposable to find a decent guy. Unless they're divorced I just don't see many single hot women over 30. Most are married and married to guys with good careers it seems too.

Typically on OLD anything at least an HB7 seems to have mental issues.

For a LTR for ugly, obese type people I recommend OLD. Since many people of that like are on OLD it's actually easy for them to match up.

For most of the guys on this forum we don't have low standards for fatties so we're chasing those 10 percent women on OLD who are decent looking so right there is a losing battle.