Need some advice about responsible enjoyment of vices

[sangheilios]

Earlier this evening I went to play poker at a casino in my area, $1-$2 no limit Texas Hold 'em. I originally went with $200 but when I sat down and cashed in I decided to stick with just $100 to play with. I had the intention of just using this as a form of entertainment and wasn't sitting there with images of walking away with a couple grand. All of the other people there were regulars, they literally all knew each other by name, where as with me the last time I played was close to a year ago. Anyway, I was there for a little over 2 hours and really only had a few good hands in that time frame and I was starting to get a bit bored. There was a big pre flop pot in the middle and I decided to go all in with a decent hand, which I ended up losing. I walked away and I had no emotional reaction to it and left feeling that I had a good time and enjoyed myself.

However, something that I pick up on is that I experience these desires to go back or engage in other vices. After I left I was thinking about going to this fully nude strip club that is in my area, I went once close to 3 years ago. The last time I played poker I also felt this desire to hit up escorts, though I'd end up cancelling and not following through. This time I didn't really leave with the feeling of wanting to go back to play more poker, so I was displaying some healthier emotions towards that being a form of entertainment.

What is a good balance of being able to enjoy these activities without either overindulging or becoming a total prude and completely depriving yourself of any fun?

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's hard for me to relate because I have no desire to gamble or go to strip clubs. Not because I see those activities as "vices" but because I find them boring. I guess it really depends on your personality. If you have an addictive personality, it's better to quit unhealthy activities altogether. But If you can enjoy them in moderation and they bring your pleasure, I suppose why not?

 

[corrector]

You were thinking of going to a strip club but didn't go? You were thinking of visiting an escort but cancelled? The only concrete vice was gambling and we are talking about $ 200? This sounds like childsplay. I have a mindset like this where I'm worried if would lose the light in my soul or whatever light there is remaining if I do these things. There is a religious reason you feel this way?

 

[sangheilios]

You were thinking of going to a strip club but didn't go? You were thinking of visiting an escort but cancelled? The only concrete vice was gambling and we are talking about $ 200? This sounds like childsplay. I have a mindset like this where I'm worried if would lose the light in my soul or whatever light there is remaining if I do these things. There is a religious reason you feel this way?

It was only $100 that I decided to play with, which is not at all a big deal for me. I have a difficult time enjoying myself, but when I do I always have this fear of making things like this a habit and wanting to partake regularly. The last time I played was close to a year ago, but I'm a fan of the game and genuinely enjoy playing but don't want to make it a habit of playing at the casino regularly. Sure, I could easily afford $50 a week to play with but it seems like a bad idea to develop a habit like that. I could apply this to anything else I've enjoyed in the past that I wanted to revisit again.

With poker in particular, I don't play anywhere near often enough to have any real skill against people who are there regularly. I mean, when everyone sitting at the table, including the dealer, knows these people by name they clearly go there A LOT.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Try investing in the stock market. Same emotional highs and lows

 

[sangheilios]

Try investing in the stock market. Same emotional highs and lows

I've already been doing that for quite a while.

 

[Willie Naylor]

I've already been doing that for quite a while.

Drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap, and handle it.

 

[rjc149]

Gambling is a great way to really fvck your life up. I've heard horror stories about guys losing everything from gambling. The guy who delivers food from my favorite Mexican restaurant was a friend's dad. I used to have play dates at their big house. Dad was a successful restauranteur. Gambled everything away. His wife left him. Now he delivers enchiladas to my house. I know who he is. He knows who I am. He never makes eye contact.

I knew a mortgage broker who was a high-roller in Atlantic City, but couldn't pay back his credit. He started doing shadier backroom games that were run, most likely, by the mob. He got $18K in the hole with these people. It was out of the Sopranos. "I owe money to the wrong people" he told me. He lost his Mercedes and lost a sh!tload of weight.

The fact that you view pissing $100 away as 'entertainment' is how you start down that road. I lost $20 in AC at a hold'em table. I might as well have ripped the bill up and thrown it in the toilet. $20 could have bought me a meal, some beers, a movie ticket and popcorn, I could have given it to the church, it could have added value to my or someone's life and served a purpose. It didn't. I never gambled again.

I used to do a good deal of coke. Probably every weekend in my early 30's. Now, I associate coke with the alarming chest pains and tingling in my left arm whenever I do it (pre-heart attack), and the inexplicably large dent in my checking account when I checked it on Sunday. Damaging my organs and my finances. That association totally turned me off to it. I haven't touched it in years.

I like to drink. Booze really my only real vice. Booze is my gateway to worse vices -- I never smoke, do drugs, or get STD's when I'm sober. But, there's a cost-benefit breakdown to it. I enjoy the buzz, but I absolutely fvcking hate the way it makes me feel the next day. That hatred is so strong that I've never felt the urge to drink on weeknights or when it's inappropriate to drink. I pay the price. The price may be worth a night out with friends and maintaining a social/dating life, but never worth the vice in and of itself.

Since gambling adds absolutely no ancillary value other than a momentary rush when you win, and costs you a lot of money for that rush, the cost-benefit breakdown is obviously lopsided. Knowing that should make gambling easy to moderate.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What is a good balance of being able to enjoy these activities without either overindulging or becoming a total prude and completely depriving yourself of any fun?

Make vice plans to satisfy your urges and stick to them.

Gambling for an hour/$xxx once per month, etc.

Kind of like a planned cheating day.

Don't decide on any vices in the moment.

I wouldn't consider poker a vice, so long as you constrain the time and the money.

Reading people, budgeting money, taking measured risks, etc. all good skills to practice.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Earlier this evening I went to play poker at a casino in my area, $1-$2 no limit Texas Hold 'em. I originally went with $200 but when I sat down and cashed in I decided to stick with just $100 to play with. I had the intention of just using this as a form of entertainment and wasn't sitting there with images of walking away with a couple grand. All of the other people there were regulars, they literally all knew each other by name, where as with me the last time I played was close to a year ago. Anyway, I was there for a little over 2 hours and really only had a few good hands in that time frame and I was starting to get a bit bored. There was a big pre flop pot in the middle and I decided to go all in with a decent hand, which I ended up losing. I walked away and I had no emotional reaction to it and left feeling that I had a good time and enjoyed myself.

However, something that I pick up on is that I experience these desires to go back or engage in other vices. After I left I was thinking about going to this fully nude strip club that is in my area, I went once close to 3 years ago. The last time I played poker I also felt this desire to hit up escorts, though I'd end up cancelling and not following through. This time I didn't really leave with the feeling of wanting to go back to play more poker, so I was displaying some healthier emotions towards that being a form of entertainment.

What is a good balance of being able to enjoy these activities without either overindulging or becoming a total prude and completely depriving yourself of any fun?

The best way to approach this is by understanding what you really are getting out of it vs what your brain gets out of it.

You don't get anything out of it, at least nothing substantial/tangible unless you get lucky one night (but this will never be the case on a consistent basis, you will have lost more than you have won. There is a reason gambling is still around and is profitable. Think about that.)

Your brain on the other hand is getting something out of it. A quick injection of dopamine and escape from reality. Neither are beneficial nor sustainable. You are on the road to solidifying as a weak man. The same weak men that are tearing society apart.

Bottom line is you need to rethink your time. People that engage in those vices don't fully appreciate/respect their time. Those are the vices, like TV, video games, movies, drugs, etc that were created to keep people numb, distracted, confused, tired, unaware, bamboozled, misinformed, addicted, etc, etc, etc, etc.

The same reason Rockefeller prohibited the education system from teaching students about economics and finance.

They want you poor. They want you distracted and addicted to meaningless and intrancendental activities.

They DO NOT want you to reach your potential and amount to anything.

It is up to you to decide how you spend your time. No one else's.

Hope this helps. And if it doesn't, hope it helps someone else that might read this.


Modern Man Advice

 

[corrector]

It was only $100 that I decided to play with, which is not at all a big deal for me. I have a difficult time enjoying myself, but when I do I always have this fear of making things like this a habit and wanting to partake regularly. The last time I played was close to a year ago, but I'm a fan of the game and genuinely enjoy playing but don't want to make it a habit of playing at the casino regularly. Sure, I could easily afford $50 a week to play with but it seems like a bad idea to develop a habit like that. I could apply this to anything else I've enjoyed in the past that I wanted to revisit again.

With poker in particular, I don't play anywhere near often enough to have any real skill against people who are there regularly. I mean, when everyone sitting at the table, including the dealer, knows these people by name they clearly go there A LOT.

Have you watched Molly's Game (2017)? Gambling is best left on the other side of the screen with some popcorn. Its not a healthy habit and should be a one-off. Take others advice and move on from this.

 

[sangheilios]

Make vice plans to satisfy your urges and stick to them.

Gambling for an hour/$xxx once per month, etc.

Kind of like a planned cheating day.

Don't decide on any vices in the moment.

I wouldn't consider poker a vice, so long as you constrain the time and the money.

Reading people, budgeting money, taking measured risks, etc. all good skills to practice.

If I was going to go again this is the mindset that I'd have. I enjoy playing poker from time to time, last I went was close to a year ago. However, despite the fact that I genuinely enjoy the game I don't play anywhere near often enough to be good enough to consistently win against people that are literally there every single day. Unless I was to become a regular, which I don't even have the time for anyway, it's almost kind of pointless.

There are a lot of skills you can learn from poker but a lot of them I already get with investing (calculating risks, remaining unemotional, knowing when to fold, etc.). I feel once in a while going to the casino is fine but definitely not on a regular basis.

 

[sangheilios]

Gambling is a great way to really fvck your life up. I've heard horror stories about guys losing everything from gambling. The guy who delivers food from my favorite Mexican restaurant was a friend's dad. I used to have play dates at their big house. Dad was a successful restauranteur. Gambled everything away. His wife left him. Now he delivers enchiladas to my house. I know who he is. He knows who I am. He never makes eye contact.

I knew a mortgage broker who was a high-roller in Atlantic City, but couldn't pay back his credit. He started doing shadier backroom games that were run, most likely, by the mob. He got $18K in the hole with these people. It was out of the Sopranos. "I owe money to the wrong people" he told me. He lost his Mercedes and lost a sh!tload of weight.

The fact that you view pissing $100 away as 'entertainment' is how you start down that road. I lost $20 in AC at a hold'em table. I might as well have ripped the bill up and thrown it in the toilet. $20 could have bought me a meal, some beers, a movie ticket and popcorn, I could have given it to the church, it could have added value to my or someone's life and served a purpose. It didn't. I never gambled again.

I used to do a good deal of coke. Probably every weekend in my early 30's. Now, I associate coke with the alarming chest pains and tingling in my left arm whenever I do it (pre-heart attack), and the inexplicably large dent in my checking account when I checked it on Sunday. Damaging my organs and my finances. That association totally turned me off to it. I haven't touched it in years.

I like to drink. Booze really my only real vice. Booze is my gateway to worse vices -- I never smoke, do drugs, or get STD's when I'm sober. But, there's a cost-benefit breakdown to it. I enjoy the buzz, but I absolutely fvcking hate the way it makes me feel the next day. That hatred is so strong that I've never felt the urge to drink on weeknights or when it's inappropriate to drink. I pay the price. The price may be worth a night out with friends and maintaining a social/dating life, but never worth the vice in and of itself.

Since gambling adds absolutely no ancillary value other than a momentary rush when you win, and costs you a lot of money for that rush, the cost-benefit breakdown is obviously lopsided. Knowing that should make gambling easy to moderate.

The best way to approach this is by understanding what you really are getting out of it vs what your brain gets out of it.

You don't get anything out of it, at least nothing substantial/tangible unless you get lucky one night (but this will never be the case on a consistent basis, you will have lost more than you have won. There is a reason gambling is still around and is profitable. Think about that.)

Your brain on the other hand is getting something out of it. A quick injection of dopamine and escape from reality. Neither are beneficial nor sustainable. You are on the road to solidifying as a weak man. The same weak men that are tearing society apart.

Bottom line is you need to rethink your time. People that engage in those vices don't fully appreciate/respect their time. Those are the vices, like TV, video games, movies, drugs, etc that were created to keep people numb, distracted, confused, tired, unaware, bamboozled, misinformed, addicted, etc, etc, etc, etc.

The same reason Rockefeller prohibited the education system from teaching students about economics and finance.

They want you poor. They want you distracted and addicted to meaningless and intrancendental activities.

They DO NOT want you to reach your potential and amount to anything.

It is up to you to decide how you spend your time. No one else's.

Hope this helps. And if it doesn't, hope it helps someone else that might read this.


Modern Man Advice

These are some of the thoughts I had with going on any sort of regular basis. As I mentioned to the poster above, I'd have to become a regular to be able to compete with players that are there regularly. That is not at all something I have the time or desire for in the first place, and that's not including the sheer amount of money I'd essentially be throwing away for nothing. I'm almost thinking I'd be better off just getting a massage once per week or going on some mini staycations instead of this.

 

[RickTheToad]

Earlier this evening I went to play poker at a casino in my area, $1-$2 no limit Texas Hold 'em. I originally went with $200 but when I sat down and cashed in I decided to stick with just $100 to play with. I had the intention of just using this as a form of entertainment and wasn't sitting there with images of walking away with a couple grand. All of the other people there were regulars, they literally all knew each other by name, where as with me the last time I played was close to a year ago. Anyway, I was there for a little over 2 hours and really only had a few good hands in that time frame and I was starting to get a bit bored. There was a big pre flop pot in the middle and I decided to go all in with a decent hand, which I ended up losing. I walked away and I had no emotional reaction to it and left feeling that I had a good time and enjoyed myself.

However, something that I pick up on is that I experience these desires to go back or engage in other vices. After I left I was thinking about going to this fully nude strip club that is in my area, I went once close to 3 years ago. The last time I played poker I also felt this desire to hit up escorts, though I'd end up cancelling and not following through. This time I didn't really leave with the feeling of wanting to go back to play more poker, so I was displaying some healthier emotions towards that being a form of entertainment.

What is a good balance of being able to enjoy these activities without either overindulging or becoming a total prude and completely depriving yourself of any fun?

You need to find a hobby dude. What makes you happy or brings enjoyment to your life?

 

[2Rocky]

If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you


nothing wrong if you commit to losing $XX at the casino for your own entertainment. if your bills are paid, and you have the fun money then fine...Wins are nice but not to be relied upon.

 

[sangheilios]

If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you


nothing wrong if you commit to losing $XX at the casino for your own entertainment. if your bills are paid, and you have the fun money then fine...Wins are nice but not to be relied upon.

LOL

Like I said, when you are sitting on a table where every knows each other by name, including the dealer knowing them, I'm naturally not going to have the same skill set when I haven't sat in front of the felt for close to a year.

 

[sangheilios]

You need to find a hobby dude. What makes you happy or brings enjoyment to your life?

Honestly, my main hobby with the free time that I do have is primarily working out/training in the gym, which is something I've enjoyed for quite a long time. Outside of this I don't really have a whole lot of time on my hands, last evening was a rare exception. Between working out, my job, maintaining assets and some classes I'm taking I just don't have much energy left to do much.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Honestly, my main hobby with the free time that I do have is primarily working out/training in the gym, which is something I've enjoyed for quite a long time. Outside of this I don't really have a whole lot of time on my hands, last evening was a rare exception. Between working out, my job, maintaining assets and some classes I'm taking I just don't have much energy left to do much.

You sound like a successful guy.

I'm just confused by the point of this thread. You ask for help with figuring out how much time you should spend on 'vices,' but you just said that you don't have time to do much outside of career and working out.

You tell us that you didn't go to a strip club and that you regularly cancel on escorts. So, sounds like you've got these 'vices' of yours under control. I think you're one of these pseudo-intellectual types that enjoys letting others know how thoughtful and intelligent you are.

I have no idea what you're asking for help with.

 

[sangheilios]

You sound like a successful guy.

I'm just confused by the point of this thread. You ask for help with figuring out how much time you should spend on 'vices,' but you just said that you don't have time to do much outside of career and working out.

You tell us that you didn't go to a strip club and that you regularly cancel on escorts. So, sounds like you've got these 'vices' of yours under control. I think you're one of these pseudo-intellectual types that enjoys letting others know how thoughtful and intelligent you are.

I have no idea what you're asking for help with.

It's not about how much time to spend on vices but instead what is a healthy mindset to have if you are to enjoy them. Is there an issue with saying playing poker at the casino once per month so long as you can create a budget/time limit for yourself, say $100 and you plan on being there for a few hours. Or, does something like this create the possibility of becoming a gate way to other issues and is it better to just avoid it all together? Is it something to maybe not even do regularly and just go once in a while when you feel like it?

 

[Willie Naylor]

It's not about how much time to spend on vices but instead what is a healthy mindset to have if you are to enjoy them. Is there an issue with saying playing poker at the casino once per month so long as you can create a budget/time limit for yourself, say $100 and you plan on being there for a few hours. Or, does something like this create the possibility of becoming a gate way to other issues and is it better to just avoid it all together? Is it something to maybe not even do regularly and just go once in a while when you feel like it?

If you feel you can't control an urge to do something when you're in a certain environment, then best to avoid it altogether.

You have to establish that line for yourself.