If she is lustfully staring at other men or flirting.

[zekko]

10. Is physically protective

This is interesting. Awhile back, there was talk on this forum about the three Ps of masculine behavior: Protect, Provide, and Procreate.
Basically these were three things women wanted in men: the ability to protect them, to provide for them, and be good in bed.

Guys here often would denigrate the "Provide" portion as being solely for betas, "BetaBux" and all that. But the "Protect" part was still seen as alpha because it suggested that you were strong, athletic, and capable as a fighter. In recent years however, I notice more guys are sliding the "Protect" portion over to the beta side as well. "If you're willing to protect her, then she will see you as a beta". IMO they are taking this beta stuff to the extreme here, because of course any woman wants to feel safe when she is with her man. There's nothing unsexy about that.

 

[metalwater]

Maybe I’m way off but it seems to me that you might be drinking the kool aid of “Every woman is constantly on the hunt for something better…” that gets tossed around on here.

maybe..

thanks for being a good sport about it.

I get exactly what your telling, I am interested because to see how you tell it. I don't think every woman is on the hunt for something better. That would be what we call hypergamy. That actually can be set aside and is a different topic and interesting
in itself.

This one is about lizard brain attraction. When a woman puts out a sexy vibe that tells she likes men and she is not ugly any men on that channel will respond usually. The more experienced, let's call them players, will know what it is right away and size up the situation and decide if they can and want. It is a very different look than one from a guy that is simply wishing... When we see this look or directly notice the outbound vibe of the girl it physically affects us if we are high interest in the girl. If she is a plate, we might not care and even may not notice. More likely we don't care.

That vibe will continue until she must turn it off or lose a guy she really wants. It can be turned off, but as long as the man excepts it and believe your story that it is just how it is he will be ever so slowly broken down. Stronger men will last longer but even them. Only when and if a man walks that you really really want unless you turn it off, only then. But if the man CAN walk and will then he is not 100% to you. Women (and your one) shoot themself about this.

The only solution for this from the man's side is adding or keeping competition for the woman, how far and to what level is up to the man and what and how, I am sure that is a slippery slope. BTW this is exactly what you do to the man by not shutting of the I like men vibe and forcing his lizard brain to react. Doesn't matter who he is, he will react like that if he is serious about you.

It is a mindset, from the woman.



do you know you can shut it off, but just don't see the need? I mean if the guy treats you well, why would you change? Its the same thing the men do that cycles many women.

if you think I have it wrong, tell me why. it's not really about you personally it is about any women that behave the same, there are some in all places.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

This is interesting. Awhile back, there was talk on this forum about the three Ps of masculine behavior: Protect, Provide, and Procreate.
Basically these were three things women wanted in men: the ability to protect them, to provide for them, and be good in bed.

Guys here often would denigrate the "Provide" portion as being solely for betas, "BetaBux" and all that. But the "Protect" part was still seen as alpha because it suggested that you were strong, athletic, and capable as a fighter. In recent years however, I notice more guys are sliding the "Protect" portion over to the beta side as well. "If you're willing to protect her, then she will see you as a beta". IMO they are taking this beta stuff to the extreme here, because of course any woman wants to feel safe when she is with her man. There's nothing unsexy about that.

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

or maybe the difference is how you are affected by the jealous emotion

 

[metalwater]

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

or maybe the difference is how you are affected by the jealous emotion

experience. The first time of that emotion is going to be a mess and maybe violence uncontrolled. later when experienced, can choose to manage it. perhaps violence still, but by choice.

 

[zekko]

yeah everybody thinks jealousy is a beta trait
Even women admit that they don’t like it,but it’s a built in mechanism that causes us to act protective , thought that’s what they wanted?

I wasn't speaking about jealousy, I was talking about a man being physically able to protect a woman. However, while we're on the subject:
Is an alpha lion going to tolerate a beta lion having sex with his females? It's probably going to happen while he's napping or distracted, but if he sees it, he's going to chase him off.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I wasn't speaking about jealousy, I was talking about a man being physically able to protect a woman. However, while we're on the subject:
Is an alpha lion going to tolerate a beta lion having sex with his females? It's probably going to happen while he's napping or distracted, but if he sees it, he's going to chase him off.

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

 

[Barrister]

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

The problem with the analogy is that humans aren't lions. THe only real similarity is some similar anatomy through the fact they are both mammals. As higher primates much more goes into banging someone than a simple "you have a vagina so I will sleep with you." With humans, it is a conscious decision backed up by a thought process to reach that point by both parties. For the lions, the male lion is only following instinct and the female must supplicate due to her inferior size and strength. There is no such thing as "jealousy" between two male lions -- just a matter of instinctual territory when it comes to breeding.

Trying to explain human lust through the lens of a male lion with his pride is trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

 

[PRW63]

BeExcellent said:
Advice from the old lady:

sounds like you date a lot of low value or insecure men ,atleast that’s what it looks like you’re projecting in this post.

You clearly didn't read her whole post.

 

[zekko]

But doesn’t iealousy provoke action for physical protection?
I mean technically if the alpha lion wasn’t jealous he would just watch right?

Maybe, if the beta lion was just trying to bang her. I was thinking more of a case where a guy came up, punched her in her face, and stole her purse. But like catsmeow pointed out, there's also the territorial aspect. A guy trying to pick up your girl under your nose is being disrespectful to YOU. You can laugh at him or punch him in the nose, people react differently to these types of things.

 

[BeExcellent]

maybe..

thanks for being a good sport about it.

I get exactly what your telling, I am interested because to see how you tell it. I don't think every woman is on the hunt for something better. That would be what we call hypergamy. That actually can be set aside and is a different topic and interesting
in itself.

This one is about lizard brain attraction. When a woman puts out a sexy vibe that tells she likes men and she is not ugly any men on that channel will respond usually. The more experienced, let's call them players, will know what it is right away and size up the situation and decide if they can and want. It is a very different look than one from a guy that is simply wishing... When we see this look or directly notice the outbound vibe of the girl it physically affects us if we are high interest in the girl. If she is a plate, we might not care and even may not notice. More likely we don't care.

That vibe will continue until she must turn it off or lose a guy she really wants. It can be turned off, but as long as the man excepts it and believe your story that it is just how it is he will be ever so slowly broken down. Stronger men will last longer but even them. Only when and if a man walks that you really really want unless you turn it off, only then. But if the man CAN walk and will then he is not 100% to you. Women (and your one) shoot themself about this.

The only solution for this from the man's side is adding or keeping competition for the woman, how far and to what level is up to the man and what and how, I am sure that is a slippery slope. BTW this is exactly what you do to the man by not shutting of the I like men vibe and forcing his lizard brain to react. Doesn't matter who he is, he will react like that if he is serious about you.

It is a mindset, from the woman.



do you know you can shut it off, but just don't see the need? I mean if the guy treats you well, why would you change? Its the same thing the men do that cycles many women.

if you think I have it wrong, tell me why. it's not really about you personally it is about any women that behave the same, there are some in all places.

You are a good observer @metalwater about what I am saying regarding vibe. Yes a player/playboy type is going to recognize a woman with an allure, or sex appeal vibe immediately. Just as I recognize the player archetype immediately in a man. There is a kindred between the two because each immediately recognizes the other; they are on the same wavelength. Why would I “turn it off” as you say?

What you do not grasp is that there is no turning it off. It is as innate to me as my skin tone. It is part of who I am. Therefore I recognized long ago that I require a man who can handle me as I exist, if a man needs me to be someone else? That’s never going to work and he’s the wrong man.

You see I’m not going to lose a man I really want because I can’t turn it off. I won’t date men who cannot handle it in the first place.

The problem is that I am a siren. Every man *thinks* he wants a siren…for a siren has a maxxed appeal to most men. But few men can actually *handle* a siren day in and day out. That is the issue. Many men have egos or insecurities that simply become triggered when a woman who draws that kind of attention shows up. Again it’s like a flame. You can contain a flame but it’s still a flame. You cannot tell a flame to become something else. A flame has instrinsic characteristics that are unchanging or you no longer have a flame but rather something else altogether.

It’s like that. I can direct it, focus it, and contain it to a degree, but my essence is still who I am. It’s more organic, less stress and utterly authentic to simply be who I am and realize that not everyone is compatible with me; with my vibe. That’s Ok. I accepted that a long time ago once I realized what this was in myself (you see it was there before I knew in my youth what it was and/or how to handle it myself). Figuring that out was a process. Learning how to direct it and own it was a process. It’s part of me. I’d no more cut it off than I’d sever my left leg off.

But as you are seeing not everyone understands it. Not everyone can deal with it. The players/playboys can. My vibe is familiar to them for it mirrors their vibe; their wavelength.

But. A woman can exist just fine without succumbing to her desire nature. Restraint is the calling card of the siren. She dazzles many but is obtained by few. Whereas conquest is the calling card of the playboy. These two opposites hold intrigue for one another; polarity.

I know this. So I know who I am and who suitable men are.

Hopefully that explains things.

 

[DonJuanjr]

@metalwater I believe there is truth in what she says... She can't turn it off. As TheFinalLine stated very few woman can. There are some, but we will never find one in our lifetimes. To turn it off, is to turn off her dualistic sexual strategy. I think she is wrong about not succumbing to it. She will eventually. Otherwise she'd have the ability to turn the polarity vacuum off, or at least direct it at her significant other not causing him to mate guard.

 

[BeExcellent]

Facepalm.

There is no dualistic mating strategy.

Why? Because I have everything I desire from the same man. I have always chosen men this way, and I admittedly am blessed in having the ability to choose desirable men who choose me. I do not go seeking attention. To be frank it is nice that I do not garner the same attention as I did when I was younger. It is something independent of my looks however and will exist even as I age. You see, positivity and charm is ageless.

My BF mate guards out of his own insecurities. Period. His own deep seated fear that he isn’t good enough to keep a woman like me.

Otherwise he wouldn’t tell everyone that it took him 30 years to find me. Otherwise he would see me as replaceable. He doesn’t see me as replaceable. I am not.

And you can go on and on about me thinking I’m special and so forth. I am. There are women who are rare. Men want to find one. When they do they want to keep her. I am that girl and I make no apologies about it.

And men see, know and observe very quickly that although I am charming and have a universal allure? My charms are reserved for my man. Period.

Enjoy your weekend gents. I have a birthday boy to spoil rotten this weekend

Cheers

 

[metalwater]

Facepalm.

There is no dualistic mating strategy.

Why? Because I have everything I desire from the same man. I have always chosen men this way, and I admittedly am blessed in having the ability to choose desirable men who choose me. I do not go seeking attention. To be frank it is nice that I do not garner the same attention as I did when I was younger. It is something independent of my looks however and will exist even as I age. You see, positivity and charm is ageless.

My BF mate guards out of his own insecurities. Period. His own deep seated fear that he isn’t good enough to keep a woman like me.

Otherwise he wouldn’t tell everyone that it took him 30 years to find me. Otherwise he would see me as replaceable. He doesn’t see me as replaceable. I am not.

And you can go on and on about me thinking I’m special and so forth. I am. There are women who are rare. Men want to find one. When they do they want to keep her. I am that girl and I make no apologies about it.

And men see, know and observe very quickly that although I am charming and have a universal allure? My charms are reserved for my man. Period.

Enjoy your weekend gents. I have a birthday boy to spoil rotten this weekend

Cheers

Its good; no? Your current man will not mate guard you if you turn it off. And is inner insecurity will slowly turn into only confidence. If he continues to mate guard you and you continue to have the dynamic you tell, time is limited. He does like you, maybe 100%... this breaks the player. The player is the player archetype or whatever because they in their own mind are not 100%. That is what the player is.

you are breaking him as per your own story. I believe you that it is not what you want to do. Your probably physically loyal for now.

love your comments.

 

[metalwater]

@metalwater I believe there is truth in what she says... She can't turn it off. As TheFinalLine stated very few woman can. There are some, but we will never find one in our lifetimes. To turn it off, is to turn off her dualistic sexual strategy. I think she is wrong about not succumbing to it. She will eventually. Otherwise she'd have the ability to turn the polarity vacuum off, or at least direct it at her significant other not causing him to mate guard.

I know. I do listen to what women say, as well as men that behave differently than I would support. I learn from them all. Very aware of truth vs fact.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Maybe, if the beta lion was just trying to bang her. I was thinking more of a case where a guy came up, punched her in her face, and stole her purse. But like catsmeow pointed out, there's also the territorial aspect. A guy trying to pick up your girl under your nose is being disrespectful to YOU. You can laugh at him or punch him in the nose, people react differently to these types of things.

Good points...
If the guy is coming at your girl then it’s not her fault , unless she asked for it somehow.
How would you handle a guy tryna pick up a girl under your nose?
All women are different with this situation , some would rather handle the situation themselves
Example : if a guy approached your girl while you were in the restroom,she would rather just shut him down , and try to discourage him as much as she can .
but obviously, if he tried to lock her up or flirt with her openly in your face this is a challenge and it’s not uncommon
I think she would expect you to do something of the other male wasn’t so discreet.

no doubt ,If someone wants to rob your girl or do physical harm to her, you have no business with her if you cannot physically protect her.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

[

I think maybe it's more about being "territorial" than "jealous."

One of my ex boyfriends actually explained this to me - about territorial rights. He was constantly getting into brawls at bars with guys who would make comments to me, or to him. He wasn't jealous per se, he trusted me and he knew I would take a bullet for him if it ever came to that (and vice versa). He was also an extremely good looking man with lots going for him in his own right (owned a business, a home etc).

It was more about protecting my honor, my virtue, and he also felt it was disrespectful to HIM.

I was quite young at the time and interpreted all this as him being caring, loving and yes protective.

Now that I am a bit older, this "mate guarding" stuff doesn't move me much. I don't need protection from the "big bad wolves" when I am out and about, either alone or with a boyfriend.

He has nothing to prove to me (or himself) by behaving this way, I am not a feminist or anything like that but I know how to take of myself and I conduct myself in such a way that I don't invite such egregious attention anyway, like I don't frequent bars much or other venues where men are drunk and/or I need to fear them or my boyfriend needs to "protect" me from them. It's just not my scene.

If we were in a dangerous situation, like a fire for example, yes I would hope he would be able to take care of the situation.

I would do MY part as well.

it seems like you and @zekko
Agree that there is a difference between jealousy and territorial rights.
I always thought they were kinda the same.

You have some solid points cat
But like you said ,at certain points it’s not about you every time.
Sometimes the guy making comments to you or him is more disrespectful to the guy involved If that’s the case , then it’s on him to handle it.
it’s not really protecting you it’s more protecting his own manhood and honor.

the fire incident you mentioned and the robbing scenario that Zekko mentioned , is a type of masculinity that most women say they “trust “
Meaning they trust you with their life, they feel safe around you.

if dudes are being obnoxious(by definition) towards us both on a date ,and I sit back and do nothing.
wouldnt that make you trust me less in a life or death situation?
I’d rather say something to let you know that I’m that guy , and I don’t tolerate disrespect towards you or me.

I think it’s cool tho that you don’t like bars or clubs , that’s not really a good environment to put yourself into if you’re in a committed relationship , IMO. Maybe once in a while to have fun would be ok
main reason I say that is because alcohol is involved.
It’s definitely not the scene

The problem with the analogy is that humans aren't lions. THe only real similarity is some similar anatomy through the fact they are both mammals. As higher primates much more goes into banging someone than a simple "you have a vagina so I will sleep with you." With humans, it is a conscious decision backed up by a thought process to reach that point by both parties. For the lions, the male lion is only following instinct and the female must supplicate due to her inferior size and strength. There is no such thing as "jealousy" between two male lions -- just a matter of instinctual territory when it comes to breeding.

yes , you’re right.
those are wild animals that are governed by the law of the jungle ,so they are more ruthless
But it’s still similar to humans ,the woman usually goes with the dominant male , how do we define a line between jealousy and territorial rights?

 

[mrskinnypantz]

You clearly didn't read her whole post.

And You clearly don’t get the point of this thread.

 

[metalwater]

Maybe, if the beta lion was just trying to bang her. I was thinking more of a case where a guy came up, punched her in her face, and stole her purse. But like catsmeow pointed out, there's also the territorial aspect. A guy trying to pick up your girl under your nose is being disrespectful to YOU. You can laugh at him or punch him in the nose, people react differently to these types of things.

@zekko, maybe you can tell more about this.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good points...
If the guy is coming at your girl then it’s not her fault , unless she asked for it somehow.
How would you handle a guy tryna pick up a girl under your nose?
All women are different with this situation , some would rather handle the situation themselves
Example : if a guy approached your girl while you were in the restroom,she would rather just shut him down , and try to discourage him as much as she can .
but obviously, if he tried to lock her up or flirt with her openly in your face this is a challenge and it’s not uncommon
I think she would expect you to do something of the other male wasn’t so discreet.

no doubt ,If someone wants to rob your girl or do physical harm to her, you have no business with her if you cannot physically protect her.

Before women got internet attention. Respectable women would easily shuck the guy by herself by saying and showing "i'm with him" and standing with you in solidarity. It's a triangulation and the outside guy has no recourse other than backing off. Any woman who would side with the outside flirter, men had enough natural self respect to be done with her then and there.

Obviously if he got aggressive or tried to attack her or something you as a man would naturally step in.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I have only read the first two pages of this thread, and the last, so perhaps I’m going to say something that was already covered.

When you’re out with a woman who becomes obsessed with other men, that’s a clear yellow flag. It’s a problem, 100%.

What’s throwing a lot of people off here is the word, “lustfully”. Each person’s personal definition of that word colors his or her response to the OP.

Some women, while out with their man, become irresistibly fascinated by other men while they are out and about together. These women will find themselves constantly looking over at that other man because they have developed an emotional attachment, a fascination. That man over there becomes the focal point of her evening, eclipsing everything.

Men will often describe that as “lust”, because men will usually look at other women on a surface, physical level. However, women usually look not only at the physical, but their minds start filling in the blanks and they end up developing an entire imaginary dossier on the guy. It becomes a fascination.

Women today are incredibly blind to their own lack of social propriety. If you call them out on repeatedly gazing at a particular man while you are both out together, they will be flabbergasted and vehemently deny, even though they are factually in the wrong and behaving rudely with their man, and insulting both him and their established relationship.

If anyone has a woman like that, I feel sorry for him. There is no cure. She will not be reasoned with, snd she will blame you for being “insecure”. Women today are a horror show of impropriety.

There is only one hope for correction of a woman like this. It’s a Hail Mary pass, but it can work. Tell her to get up, walk with her over to the subject of her fascination, and tell him that she has been looking at him all night, and you thought it would be appropriate to introduce her to you. Then say “This is Name. And you are…?”
If your relationship survives her initial embarrassment and anger, she will likely develop the wherewithal to control her roving eye in the future.

A woman of class resists constantly looking at other men out of respect for her man. Nothing less is acceptable. If my wife did this on the regular, I would have booted her a long time ago.

Burping is a natural human function, but out of politeness and respect we don’t just burp right out loud every time the urge comes. We do it silently snd appropriately so as not to offend. There is a parallel here. If women can exercise social graces regarding burping, they certainly should be able to do the same with controlling their wandering eyes when out on a date with their man. They are not just looking. They are constructing a story about him. They are investing emotionally. They would swear up and down this isn’t true, but it is.