Why do women go back to an ex who beat them?

[SargeMaximus]

Serious question. I’ve known a few over the years who end up getting back with an ex who beat them. It can’t be alpha to beat women so what’s the story?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Serious question. I’ve known a few over the years who end up getting back with an ex who beat them. It can’t be alpha to beat women so what’s the story?

Might be related to how their dad treated them and finding comfort zone within that.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Bible_Belt]

Might be related to how their dad treated them and finding their comfort zone within that.

You beat me...to the daddy reference.

 

[Kotaix]

Probably grew up abused. For them, it's part of "feeling appreciated".

 

[bat soup]

Serious question. I’ve known a few over the years who end up getting back with an ex who beat them. It can’t be alpha to beat women so what’s the story?

That's not alpha at all. That's "beat her".

 

[Mike32ct]

Intermittent reinforcement. After an abusive episode, he calms down and they “make up.” She then gets highly addicted to the toe curling makeup sex.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Thanks for the responses. How can a non-abusive guy compete with that? Is it just a case of no chemistry/lost cause?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Serious question. I’ve known a few over the years who end up getting back with an ex who beat them. It can’t be alpha to beat women so what’s the story?

Because that's a reflection of what they think about themselves. They think that's all they are worth. Low self esteem.

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks for the responses. How can a non-abusive guy compete with that? Is it just a case of no chemistry/lost cause?

You don’t want to date a woman like that. Damaged goods.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

The bad boy syndrome too; they think they will be able to change them (to better versions), and on the same time they attracted the whole thing that causes the issues in the first place.

 

[Robert28]

Simple honest answer? They enjoy it. It’s taboo to say but that’s the honest truth. Has nothing to do with daddy issues, it’s just that they enjoy being treated that way.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Simple honest answer? They enjoy it. It’s taboo to say but that’s the honest truth. Has nothing to do with daddy issues, it’s just that they enjoy being treated that way.

I'm currently keeping tabs on a girl who use to be this type of woman but she has now settled down with a beta provider who has a wealthy family [wealthy enough anyway]. He is the opposite of all the men she use to hook up with. So far she is enduring but I am waiting for her inevitable affair post marriage.

 

[Robert28]

I'm currently keeping tabs on a girl who use to be this type of woman but she has now settled down with a beta provider who has a wealthy family [wealthy enough anyway]. He is the opposite of all the men she use to hook up with. So far she is enduring but I am waiting for her inevitable affair post marriage.

Oh I can see how this story will play out a mile away. She never grew out of it, she probably misses it. But she knows those types of guys usually can’t provide a can of cat food much less a decent roof over her head. She is constantly thinking of how can she keep her current lifestyle while having the bad boy Chad too.

 

[MatureDJ]

Serious question. I’ve known a few over the years who end up getting back with an ex who beat them. It can’t be alpha to beat women so what’s the story?

It IS Alpha to beat women - why do you think thugs attract so much poon?

 

[Zimbabwe]

Battered Women Syndrome

The syndrome develops in response to a three-stage cycle found in intimate partner violence situations.[3] First, tension builds in the relationship. Second, the abusive partner releases tension via violence while blaming the victim for having caused the violence. Third, the violent partner makes gestures of contrition. However, the partner does not find solutions to avoid another phase of tension building and release so the cycle repeats. The repetition of the violence, despite the abuser's attempts to "make nice", results in the abused partner feeling at fault for not preventing a repeat cycle of violence

Battered woman syndrome - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[Black Widow Void]

If you do a first posting search on half the male forum members here, you'll find something similar:

A good majority wanted to get back together with a girlfriend that treated them badly, or they want another dating chance with someone that treated them badly.

Speaking of "daddy issues"... let's look at the other side of the coin. Previous postings have indicated that a lot of us didn't exactly grow up with the mom/dad white picket fence lifestyle (self included).

 

[SargeMaximus]

If you do a first posting search on half the male forum members here, you'll find something similar:

A good majority wanted to get back together with a girlfriend that treated them badly, or they want another dating chance with someone that treated them badly.

Speaking of "daddy issues"... let's look at the other side of the coin. Previous postings have indicated that a lot of us didn't exactly grow up with the mom/dad white picket fence lifestyle (self included).

Hmm, while I was indeed raised by a single mother after my 8th birthday, I didn’t come here trying to get an ex back luckily I had read enough pick up before I was ever in a relationship to know a few things at least

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Because friends of hers intervene on the situation thinking they are helping when in reality she is just being enabled to seek out a new guy to do the same thing to her, if she has to get herself out then she wouldn't enter those situations in the first place, but she believes shell be saved

 

[CBear]

Remember what I always say; life takes care of itself.
Those couple minutes of happiness and intense feelings from sex get taken over by constant misery and self hatred in a vicious cycle.
Basically, they deserve what they're getting themselves into and that's what they're always gonna get because they go after it and manifest it. Sit back and be happy that you don't have to be a part of the life of someone that sees themselves so low. Never raise a woman higher than the lowest she's accepted.

 

[Fruitbat]

There was a book written about women in a tough area and one of the social workers in the local area remembers a woman in the area saying “I don’t know why he doesn’t beat me” because all of the other men beat their wives and she felt that her man didn’t care about her.

it’s completely the conditioning that the woman grew up with. Also, don’t forget masculinity is about dominance and aggression. They are often of low education and tap into their inner cavewomen.

also, poorer communities (I was from one) don’t compete the same way as the middle class. The middle class compete on income/status etc. The poorer working class have a strongman culture where the hardest physically male is the leader. They don’t have the money to compete otherwise so it descends to the lowest common denominator.

the only issue I have, is in my country we have an Uber sensitive culture to domestic violence - all the authorities are totally sensitive to it, to the extent one word is spoken by a wife and the entire army of social workers and police come down. Often I would guess on a guy who just had a heated argument.

We see a dude who married a 20 year old IG model and she takes his money and leaves and we say “what did you expect?” When a woman chooses a violent gangster MMA guy with tats and a criminal record, and the inevitable happens we are supposed to say “oh no! How were you supposed to know this would happen?”

reminds me of that war machine MMA guy who was literally basing his persona as some invincible warrior. He beat his porn star GF to a pulp and the whole “domestic violence is an epidemic - this should never happen again”came out.

their idea is to teach men not to be abusive. I don’t think it’s possible to rehabilitate violent nut jobs and it’s better to just educate women not to choose violent nut jobs who call themselves “war machine” and spend their lives dedicated to violence. No matter how much it turns you on