I feel like I lost the frame, how do I get it back?

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

OP I didn't read the entire thread, but I assume some old idiots basically told you your relationship was over because they think being old ass doom and gloomer correlates with high intellect and you listened to their advice and got you blocked. First thing is first, you are a lazy bum ass narcist if you are butt hurt that your GF is focusing on school for the week. The only people that are offended by this are lazy @$$ over entitled incels with nothing going on in their life because they cannot grasp the concept of hard work or a purpose. First!! Get a fvcking hobby or job or something, get off the dang PS5. Don't tell me how high value you are because I can tell you are full of shvt based off your OP.

Second, what you should've done is said okay and pulled back. Now you are fvcking blocked on snapchat lmao. If she likes you enough she will reach back, or you can text her a nice message and end. TBH, it sounds like she can easily replace you, so your rate of success is pretty low lol.

 

[mjb3617]

OP I didn't read the entire thread, but I assume some old idiots basically told you your relationship was over because they think being old ass doom and gloomer correlates with high intellect and you listened to their advice and got you blocked. First thing is first, you are a lazy bum ass narcist if you are butt hurt that your GF is focusing on school for the week. The only people that are offended by this are lazy @$$ over entitled incels with nothing going on in their life because they cannot grasp the concept of hard work or a purpose. First!! Get a fvcking hobby or job or something, get off the dang PS5. Don't tell me how high value you are because I can tell you are full of shvt based off your OP.

Second, what you should've done is said okay and pulled back. Now you are fvcking blocked on snapchat lmao. If she likes you enough she will reach back, or you can text her a nice message and end. TBH, it sounds like she can easily replace you, so your rate of success is pretty low lol.

I agree with most of this since OP admitted he has been chasing his GF most of the time.

I'd like to point out, that if this were to occur when you aren't chasing her, then that could indicate she's losing interest in you.

The correct response to both situations is to pull back and let her chase you.

OP, it's your decision. You can chase her like you've always done, or write it off completely. She already blocked you on snap, so go dark, get busy doing other stuff, talk to other girls, and see if she comes back. Sounds like it's done either way.

 

[Barrister]

OP I didn't read the entire thread, but I assume some old idiots basically told you your relationship was over because they think being old ass doom and gloomer correlates with high intellect and you listened to their advice and got you blocked. First thing is first, you are a lazy bum ass narcist if you are butt hurt that your GF is focusing on school for the week. The only people that are offended by this are lazy @$$ over entitled incels with nothing going on in their life because they cannot grasp the concept of hard work or a purpose. First!! Get a fvcking hobby or job or something, get off the dang PS5. Don't tell me how high value you are because I can tell you are full of shvt based off your OP.

Second, what you should've done is said okay and pulled back. Now you are fvcking blocked on snapchat lmao. If she likes you enough she will reach back, or you can text her a nice message and end. TBH, it sounds like she can easily replace you, so your rate of success is pretty low lol.

You certainly have a penchant for endearing your fellow posters to you.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You certainly have a penchant for endearing your fellow posters to you.

Yeah, this thread could've been easily resolved, but a lot of old doomer gloomer guys ruined it with the rehashed you're girl is fvcking Tyrone, drop her and go fvck other girls. This crabs in a bucket mindset is toxic af. No one is trying to be some old bitter ass Rollo Tomassi when they grow up brah.

 

[Barrister]

Yeah, this thread could've been easily resolved, but a lot of old doomer gloomer guys ruined it with the rehashed you're girl is fvcking Tyrone, drop her and go fvck other girls. This crabs in a bucket mindset is toxic af. No one is trying to be some old bitter ass Rollo Tomassi when they grow up brah.

Actually, in this thread no one has really mentioned that she must be fvcking another guy - I think opinions are pretty uniformed OP needs to focus elsewhere right now though based on his GF’s clearly fading interest. There is slight variation in whether he should completely be done. And in fairness, it sounds like that is also your advice: to pull back right now. So I guess you are now an “old doom and gloomer” like the rest of us. Welcome to the club!

 

[mrskinnypantz]

His content is pretty solid. He is definitely high on the IQ scale. A bit too brainy for me sometimes but he has angles on things that are ones that can be missed. Which to me is were the real discovery is.

he lost me several times but still made good points

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Please consider the possibility that maybe she’s not interested in you anymore because of the fact that you lost frame and acted beta.

I’m not saying this to be a jerk. I’m inviting you to engage in some real self-reflection here.

While She may have work commitments and other activities that can prevent her from getting to spend a lot of time with you, if she is putting in minimal effort when it comes to making herself available to you, this is a big hint that her interest is fading. After all, if she doesn’t seem to care about hanging out with you, she’s really showing you that she doesn’t seem to care about you.

Just go No contact, hit the Gym and forget about her.

go prove to yourself once again that you can get girls left and right. go get one, and then if you want to stop just before you.... thats ok. then you know it's your choice vs the only choice. it's good for your energy.

you did get rejected by her just like you think. but she made the right choice if she is really studying and work so don't be mad at her, just go do something else. my first suggestion is to validate to yourself that girls are easy to get. at the same time, perhaps a new one would priority you above other stuff she wants to do

don't argue with her, don't have a talk about any of this as it will not help you. you can not change her interest level in you directly by trying to do that. you have to spike your own energy to do that. the fastest way to do that is with a meetup with another girl that feels lucky to have your attention. that may not be the best way, but it is the fastest and more sure method available.

If I were OP I would just break up with her. Ice and Ghost. Too many women out here.
BUT listen if you want her as a plate then ignore her and let her come to you. Find more girls to hang with. Often times once the next girl comes in you realize you dont want her anyways.

The best thing you can do is take advantage of her absence by going out and finding other girls to bang. Paradoxically, it will probably improve your relationship.

First thing first stop chasing. 100% stop. Get busy with yourself. Soft next for a few days, do your own thing. If she notices she will reach out. That is when you inform her you will be busy for the next 2 weeks with /new hobbie/ hitting the gym/ new job / other women etc etc..

Show her she went from being your number 1 priority to 6th 7th and by her own doing. You can remind her since she was busy you needed to better yourself and get busy. You did. Now she has to live with the new you. If she doesn't like the new you the next chick will.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Actually, in this thread no one has really mentioned that she must be fvcking another guy - I think opinions are pretty uniformed OP needs to focus elsewhere right now though based on his GF’s clearly fading interest. There is slight variation in whether he should completely be done. And in fairness, it sounds like that is also your advice: to pull back right now. So I guess you are now an “old doom and gloomer” like the rest of us. Welcome to the club!

Above I pointed out the toxic comments that basically derailed Op's chances of retaining his girl. Also, I mentioned I didn't read the entire thread, but I am shocked I didn't see any Chad/Tyrone has your girl response so you got me there. My post was in regard to OP had ruined his chances, but all OP had to do was tell his GF that he's going to give her some more space due to school and focus on other hobbies. None of this go fvck other girls, dump her, and insecure black pill nonsense was needed.

 

[rc97]

Bro seems like you had wrong frame at the beginning with that chick. Never text her that BS, never chase, never put too much in one single girl if she does not give anything valuable back. Always respect and put yourself first.
As for now:
- walk away and do not contact her, and I mean it. Do not sit at home and look on your cellphone, do not stalk her social medias. Find stuff you like to do and focus on it, work on your purpose.
- start looking for a replacement for that girl
- start self improving, reread books we all know about, gym, work on your social circles and stuff like that.

One of the best advise I got here being in your situation do not work on getting her IL back. It does not work the efforts and your value as a man just will go down and down as well as her respect. Walk away man

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?
Example:
I dont think at this moment i'm gonna meet my next LTR (possibly wrong thinking) , i heard the "saying" 'you'll never meet someone better than me or I don't know which girl will stay with you" , while at the same time she says this of position with options and kind of ''calm position she can have already a replacement'' should i even care about it ? I guess not.

I have a really strong feeling she will contact me out of the blue and ask what's up with my life , will try to sneak her way back in , just to see if she can have something out of it. But that's my thoughs , i leave the rest for commenting after me. Really appreciate the advices guys .

 

[Barrister]

Above I pointed out the toxic comments that basically derailed Op's chances of retaining his girl. Also, I mentioned I didn't read the entire thread, but I am shocked I didn't see any Chad/Tyrone has your girl response so you got me there. My post was in regard to OP had ruined his chances, but all OP had to do was tell his GF that he's going to give her some more space due to school and focus on other hobbies. None of this go fvck other girls, dump her, and insecure black pill nonsense was needed.

I don't think that advice is really "toxic." You can disagree that talking to other women is not the thing to do there for a variety of reasons, but there is merit to it in this situation. Nor do I think OP's chances were ruined by any advice he got here. He clearly has come here seeking advice after she has already withdrawn affection/interest. The damage (to his relationship) has already been done.

I agree that the black pill posts get tiresome -- but the posts you referenced are far from "black pill." These are pretty standard red-pill breakup tactics -- and they do work in empowering the man to remember that the girl that just dumped him is not the greatest woman in the world like our brain wants to tell us in throes of a breakup (Re: Addiction).

 

[Barrister]

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?
Example:
I dont think at this moment i'm gonna meet my next LTR (possibly wrong thinking) , i heard the "saying" 'you'll never meet someone better than me or I don't know which girl will stay with you" , while at the same time she says this of position with options and kind of ''calm position she can have already a replacement'' should i even care about it ? I guess not.

I have a really strong feeling she will contact me out of the blue and ask what's up with my life , will try to sneak her way back in , just to see if she can have something out of it. But that's my thoughs , i leave the rest for commenting after me. Really appreciate the advices guys .

The answer to your question is this: if you can't speak to her without your emotions running high, then you aren't ready to talk to her. In that case, you need to remain in No Contact. And you shouldn't even be concerning yourself with her "options." If she is even a moderately attractive woman she will have plenty. You need to be focusing on yourself and moving on. Not worrying about her.

 

[SchizopilledSigmaRoider]

I don't think that advice is really "toxic." You can disagree that talking to other women is not the thing to do there for a variety of reasons, but there is merit to it in this situation. Nor do I think OP's chances were ruined by any advice he got here. He clearly has come here seeking advice after she has already withdrawn affection/interest. The damage (to his relationship) has already been done.

I agree that the black pill posts get tiresome -- but the posts you referenced are far from "black pill." These are pretty standard red-pill breakup tactics -- and they do work in empowering the man to remember that the girl that just dumped him is not the greatest woman in the world like our brain wants to tell us in throes of a breakup (Re: Addiction).

She texted me asking if I still love her just now and i responed asying I do

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?
Example:
I dont think at this moment i'm gonna meet my next LTR (possibly wrong thinking) , i heard the "saying" 'you'll never meet someone better than me or I don't know which girl will stay with you" , while at the same time she says this of position with options and kind of ''calm position she can have already a replacement'' should i even care about it ? I guess not.

I have a really strong feeling she will contact me out of the blue and ask what's up with my life , will try to sneak her way back in , just to see if she can have something out of it. But that's my thoughs , i leave the rest for commenting after me. Really appreciate the advices guys .

ewww ignore her

I don't think that advice is really "toxic." You can disagree that talking to other women is not the thing to do there for a variety of reasons, but there is merit to it in this situation. Nor do I think OP's chances were ruined by any advice he got here. He clearly has come here seeking advice after she has already withdrawn affection/interest. The damage (to his relationship) has already been done.

I agree that the black pill posts get tiresome -- but the posts you referenced are far from "black pill." These are pretty standard red-pill breakup tactics -- and they do work in empowering the man to remember that the girl that just dumped him is not the greatest woman in the world like our brain wants to tell us in throes of a breakup (Re: Addiction).

I think where we disagree is rather these tactics were necessary or not. Based off the opening post alone, I think these posts were a little over board because it just seemed liked a minor case of loose frame which will always happen in a relationship. Did he need to dump his gf and go clean house? Absolutely not! If OP would've said his Gf broke up with him or there was another guy in the picture then yes that advice would've been more relevant. However, this doom and gloom red pill advice(I think it's black pilled lol) has become the standard response for basically every relationship maintaining thread. Most men want relationships and the red pill community has failed miserably in teaching men on how to maintain healthy relationships. Pumping and dumping your gf because she is trying to pass college is not alpha or masculine, it is insecure, feminine and narcissist.

 

[SchizopilledSigmaRoider]

ewww ignore her



I think where we disagree is rather these tactics were necessary or not. Based off the opening post alone, I think these posts were a little over board because it just seemed liked a minor case of loose frame which will always happen in a relationship. Did he need to dump his gf and go clean house? Absolutely not! If OP would've said his Gf broke up with him or there was another guy in the picture then yes that advice would've been more relevant. However, this doom and gloom red pill advice(I think it's black pilled lol) has become the standard response for basically every relationship maintaining thread. Most men want relationships and the red pill community has failed miserably in teaching men on how to maintain healthy relationships. Pumping and dumping your gf because she is trying to pass college is not alpha or masculine, it is insecure, feminine and narcissist.

Here's some more info. I just came back from a 1 week trip where I was working as a tennis coach, before that we had not seen eachother for 1 week. I come back, we have not seen eachother for 2 weeks. My gf and her friend (who I know pretty well) came into the city to enjoy theirselves and she didn't reach out to me to meetup. I had told her I even had bought a gift to her. Next day she comes back to the city to look at an apartment. I ask if she wants to grab lunch (on me) she says no because she would arrive in the evening. So I ask if I can buy her dinner, she responds 30 min later saying no because her sister is coming along (who I also know very well). I don't get why we can't hangout just bc her sister is joining us?? We could have just gotten a coffe or something. So thats 2 rejections in a row. The next day I ask her if she wants to hangout someday this week and again she says no because she has to study and work... Like do you not want to see your SO when you haven't met in over 2 weeks? WTF?? I think this is a sign that her IL is decreasing, now that I didn't give her the attention she is used to she blocks me and now she texts me if I still love her... I think she had just gotten too much frame and too ****y, she really doesn't want to lose me.

 

[Barrister]

She texted me asking if I still love her just now and i responed asying I do

This is known as "bread-crumbing." She will do things like this just enough to keep you somewhat engaged and in the picture while she continues to come to grips that the relationship is over. Hearing that you love her is a validation-high for her. However, it doesn't make her want you any more and may be actually having the opposite effect. You aren't listening to anyone's advice - but you may need this. Experience is both the best, and harshest, teacher.

 

[Barrister]

I think where we disagree is rather these tactics were necessary or not. Based off the opening post alone, I think these posts were a little over board because it just seemed liked a minor case of loose frame which will always happen in a relationship. Did he need to dump his gf and go clean house? Absolutely not! If OP would've said his Gf broke up with him or there was another guy in the picture then yes that advice would've been more relevant. However, this doom and gloom red pill advice(I think it's black pilled lol) has become the standard response for basically every relationship maintaining thread. Most men want relationships and the red pill community has failed miserably in teaching men on how to maintain healthy relationships. Pumping and dumping your gf because she is trying to pass college is not alpha or masculine, it is insecure, feminine and narcissist.

Let's be honest, this GF is not ignoring OP because she is "trying to pass college." That isn't something that a high-interest woman does. People get busy -- but not talking and blocking him on Snapchat? Come on.

You seem to take issue with the advice specifically to go out and bang other women. I will agree with you to an extent that I, personally, am simply not ready for that kind of thing at the end of an LTR. However, it works for some, and it isn't "doom and gloom." Again, it is a tactic to get your brain to remember "hey, there are OTHER women out there besides my ex - she ISN'T the last/greatest woman in the world."

 

[powersize]

i heard the "saying" 'you'll never meet someone better than me or I don't know which girl will stay with you"

You should be thinking "She will never find a better guy than me".

while at the same time she says this of position with options and kind of ''calm position she can have already a replacement'' should i even care about it ? I guess not.

Who cares how many options she has - she will never find anyone better than you

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?

Imagine that I am your friend and I am constantly saying BS about you and in the meantime I fking your gf. Would you still hand out with me or would you ever consider talking with me again?

I have a really strong feeling she will contact me out of the blue and ask what's up with my life , will try to sneak her way back in , just to see if she can have something out of it.

You should never have that hope that they will ever appear in your life again - otherwise you are fooling yourself deep inside.

 

[Grounded eagle]

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?
Example:
I dont think at this moment i'm gonna meet my next LTR (possibly wrong thinking) , i heard the "saying" 'you'll never meet someone better than me or I don't know which girl will stay with you" , while at the same time she says this of position with options and kind of ''calm position she can have already a replacement'' should i even care about it ? I guess not.

I have a really strong feeling she will contact me out of the blue and ask what's up with my life , will try to sneak her way back in , just to see if she can have something out of it. But that's my thoughs , i leave the rest for commenting after me. Really appreciate the advices guys .

No.But that’s just me.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Above I pointed out the toxic comments that basically derailed Op's chances of retaining his girl. Also, I mentioned I didn't read the entire thread, but I am shocked I didn't see any Chad/Tyrone has your girl response so you got me there. My post was in regard to OP had ruined his chances, but all OP had to do was tell his GF that he's going to give her some more space due to school and focus on other hobbies. None of this go fvck other girls, dump her, and insecure black pill nonsense was needed.

Yeah.....not one of those is black pilled bud.

 

[MatureDJ]

For the past month or so I have always been the one chasing her (my ltr gf), asking if she wants to hangout, telling her I miss her etc. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to meetup, (we live an hour away from eachother) and she said that she was busy with school and work for the entire week! I feel like I got rejected by my own gf... What do I do now? I've started just ignoring her on snapchat and sometimes leave her on read

Once you have lost frame with a plate ...

IT'S OVER!