How frequently to start spending time and calling/texting with a woman you have just begun dating?

[Sebastian0001]

I know every situation is different and it depends, but looking for some general guidelines.

Let's say I went on a date with a woman on a Saturday night, we had dinner and it went well and it was our first date. I think she is interested in me but not necessarily fully into me. I am interested in her not as a hookup, but for a serious relationship. When is the next time I should ask her out for the 2nd date? Should we see each other every other weekend or a couple of times of week or something else? When should texting/calling start to escalate?

I feel there should be some sort of medium balance. If one asks to hang out too quickly, the woman might think you have no life and that your social value is low. On the flip side, if you take too long to ask to see her again, then she might think you are just not interested in her.

 

[Robert28]

Wednesday or Thursday. Text her everyday. Not all day, but these days if you go radio silent for 3 days you’re done, she’s moved on.

 

[Serenity]

Text the next day after a first date, say you enjoyed it and that you'd like to see her again. If she responds in a positive manner then proceed to plan a date for a few days later, whenever fits best for you. If she can't at that time keep going back and forth until you find a time that fits for both, she should be fairly cooperative if she really wants to see you again too.

Don't worry about appearing "busy" when you in fact are not. The right interpretation is that you're interested, if she really does think you're a no-lifer for this then she's stupid and it's for the best she stays away anyways.

Keep light contact between dates, a few minutes back and forth daily. Just simple stuff, no long conversations, save that for face to face.

 

[Robert28]

Above post is correct. Forget the whole “texts are for setting up dates only!”. No. They aren’t. You’ll be in a world of sh!t if you think like that these days. I wouldn’t say be aggressive but I would put in the effort until it’s a no-go on her end. I wouldn’t ask her out in the next text or even mention anything about the date, I’d send something like “how’s your Monday going? Feels like the weekend went by way too fast!” and go from there. That text is going to get a good response 99% of the time and she’s liable to mention the date but the fact that you reached out the next day tells her your interest. Don’t do this every other week crap tbough if meeting up. Do it this week. Don’t wait til the weekend.

 

[Krueg]

See her once a week for the next month or so to see if she's interested in you and your date ideas

 

[BadBoy89]

I know every situation is different and it depends, but looking for some general guidelines.

Let's say I went on a date with a woman on a Saturday night, we had dinner and it went well and it was our first date. I think she is interested in me but not necessarily fully into me. I am interested in her not as a hookup, but for a serious relationship. When is the next time I should ask her out for the 2nd date? Should we see each other every other weekend or a couple of times of week or something else? When should texting/calling start to escalate?

I feel there should be some sort of medium balance. If one asks to hang out too quickly, the woman might think you have no life and that your social value is low. On the flip side, if you take too long to ask to see her again, then she might think you are just not interested in her.

Cannot believe what I’m reading for a 41 year old man.

- First date should not be on a Saturday night. The girl will believe you have no other options for a Saturday except her.
- First date should not be dinner.
- You should be looking for a hookup, she should want the relationship. Remember, women want freedom and hate nourishing men

If the woman is anywhere around 41, her tongue better be down your throat in 17 seconds on the next date. She is not a virgin 17 times over.

 

[SW15]

Cannot believe what I’m reading for a 41 year old man.

- First date should not be on a Saturday night. The girl will believe you have no other options for a Saturday except her.
- First date should not be dinner.
- You should be looking for a hookup, she should want the relationship. Remember, women want freedom and hate nourishing men

If the woman is anywhere around 41, her tongue better be down your throat in 17 seconds on the next date. She is not a virgin 17 times over.

The most important of these is no dinners in restaurants on a first date.

The overwhelming majority of women under 30 won't agree to a Friday or Saturday night first date even if you offered. With 30-39 year old women, you might be able to get one. I think based on schedules there were a couple of Friday night first date I had with 30 something women during my years in my 30s. That's not ideal either, but these weren't dinner dates.

 

[andreihaha]

I know every situation is different and it depends, but looking for some general guidelines.

Let's say I went on a date with a woman on a Saturday night, we had dinner and it went well and it was our first date. I think she is interested in me but not necessarily fully into me. I am interested in her not as a hookup, but for a serious relationship. When is the next time I should ask her out for the 2nd date? Should we see each other every other weekend or a couple of times of week or something else? When should texting/calling start to escalate?

I feel there should be some sort of medium balance. If one asks to hang out too quickly, the woman might think you have no life and that your social value is low. On the flip side, if you take too long to ask to see her again, then she might think you are just not interested in her.

I know it's late already, but for future reference, don't wait too much.
I usually text next day. The only thing I need to do is convey that I had fun at the date(if I did). Not from the start, something like this:
Me: Hey, how's your day? / How was yoga/the movie blabla, you get the idea.
Her: Great, blabla.
Me: Good. Last night was fun.
Her: Yeah, it really was.
Me: I'm free on [insert day], let's do this or that...

Wait too much, she might get pissed thinking you don't like her and might ignore you.
If she's not interested in a second date, there's nothing else to do, move on.

Also, the best thing a man can do is actually call instead of texting. It shows confidence and has the added advantage of hearing her, from which you can deduce how interested she is, more than from just words.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I usually text next day.

Wait too much, she might get pissed thinking you don't like her and might ignore you.

I've experimented with a variety of methods - responding next day, waiting 2 days, waiting 5 days, etc.

I've heard people theorize about waiting more than two days to weed certain women out - as in, if a woman gets pissed that she didn't hear from you for 3 or 4 days, then she is likely to be insecure, entitled, or dominant and as such, she isn't someone you want to spend any time with. At the same time, texting the next day can appear needy which drives some women away.

After all these years, I still haven't settled on a single method. These days I am responding next-day (usually in the evening, not morning) if I felt the date went really well and felt she had high interest, and if it seemed like she had medium interest, I'll wait 3-5 days. I still don't know if it makes a difference and I may never know because there are just too many variables involved.

 

[andreihaha]

I've experimented with a variety of methods - responding next day, waiting 2 days, waiting 5 days, etc.

I've heard people theorize about waiting more than two days to weed certain women out - as in, if a woman gets pissed that she didn't hear from you for 3 or 4 days, then she is likely to be insecure, entitled, or dominant and as such, she isn't someone you want to spend any time with. At the same time, texting the next day can appear needy which drives some women away.

After all these years, I still haven't settled on a single method. These days I am responding next-day (usually in the evening, not morning) if I felt the date went really well and felt she had high interest, and if it seemed like she had medium interest, I'll wait 3-5 days. I still don't know if it makes a difference and I may never know because there are just too many variables involved.

I like to make my move sooner rather than later. If she considers it a turnoff, her interest level was probably not high enough.
So either way it's a win for me.

 

[Barrister]

I know every situation is different and it depends, but looking for some general guidelines.

Let's say I went on a date with a woman on a Saturday night, we had dinner and it went well and it was our first date. I think she is interested in me but not necessarily fully into me. I am interested in her not as a hookup, but for a serious relationship. When is the next time I should ask her out for the 2nd date? Should we see each other every other weekend or a couple of times of week or something else? When should texting/calling start to escalate?

I feel there should be some sort of medium balance. If one asks to hang out too quickly, the woman might think you have no life and that your social value is low. On the flip side, if you take too long to ask to see her again, then she might think you are just not interested in her.

A lot of us, myself included, have debated this many times on here. I think really you should just do what you want -- within reason. Obviously, you can't start blowing her phone up or you will look like you have nothing going on in your life and this will greatly lessen both attraction and mystery. However, if she thinks you are "needy" because you texted her the next day that you had a great time? Give me a break -- someone you should just next anyway at that point if she is that petty. Most women will respond positively if they had a good time. In fact, most women who had a great first date (not all) will text you the same night once they get home anyway.

Bottom line: don't overthink it. If you want to text her the next day - do it. If you want to wait 3-5 days because you think it helps weed out certain personalities - do it. There is no "right" answer.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Cannot believe what I’m reading for a 41 year old man.

- First date should not be on a Saturday night. The girl will believe you have no other options for a Saturday except her.
- First date should not be dinner.
- You should be looking for a hookup, she should want the relationship. Remember, women want freedom and hate nourishing men

If the woman is anywhere around 41, her tongue better be down your throat in 17 seconds on the next date. She is not a virgin 17 times over.

My age is wrong, need to update. I'm actually 38 but still, why can't I want a relationship? I did the hookup thing for a while and, while there were great thrills, it felt empty and unfulfilling after a while. I'd rather be in a happy relationship.

 

[derby1]

My age is wrong, need to update. I'm actually 38 but still, why can't I want a relationship? I did the hookup thing for a while and, while there were great thrills, it felt empty and unfulfilling after a while. I'd rather be in a happy relationship.

Always remember our code, "A woman will rinse you and give you nothing, whether that be meals, dates or DM's" everything suits her and not you...

this is why you limit your validation till she gives you what you want.

5 to 10 DMs a day, and twice a meet up a week. once a woman knows she got you, she will no longer want you, you never move in her house EVER. They have been completely corrupted by their mobile phone to lose interest quicker than you eat a KFC bucket meal

another code to go by so you dont look at her like a retirement package "theyre all sl*ts" every single one of them has pulled those panties aside for a drug dealer, do not be the whiteknight who takes her out for romantic weekends and she gives you missionary and jaw ache excuses.

 

[Zimbabwe]

My age is wrong, need to update. I'm actually 38 but still, why can't I want a relationship? I did the hookup thing for a while and, while there were great thrills, it felt empty and unfulfilling after a while. I'd rather be in a happy relationship.

You're 38 and asking the same questions an 18 year old noob would ask. You had all these years of experience yet you seem completely clueless about the most fundamental basics of dating.

Have you been living as a buddhist monk in the Himalayas this whole time?

 

[andreihaha]

You're 38 and asking the same questions an 18 year old noob would ask. You had all these years of experience yet you seem completely clueless about the most fundamental basics of dating.

Have you been living as a buddhist monk in the Himalayas this whole time?

Don't treat him like this.
Some learn these things a lot later in life than others.
There's nothing wrong with that as long as he's willing to improve.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Don't treat him like this.
Some learn these things a lot later in life than others.
There's nothing wrong with that as long as he's willing to improve.

People have been giving him excellent advice in this and other threads but he doesn't seem to take it in.

I think he needs to read some game material, put the stuff into practice and then come and ask questions based on what his experienced.

 

[derby1]

You're 38 and asking the same questions an 18 year old noob would ask. You had all these years of experience yet you seem completely clueless about the most fundamental basics of dating.

Have you been living as a buddhist monk in the Himalayas this whole time?

I was 33 and remember sitting drinking with a woman all day, listening to her dating advice for me, then out the blue the exact opposite guy picked her up from the pub. he looked like a pit bull chewing a wasp. she was wetter than an otters pocket to link up with him.

Weve all been that blue pill guy bro.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

There is nothing wrong with the OP wanting a happy relationship. Most people desire this
it’s a basic human need.

As I’ve said over and over the hook up culture gets old, it gets empty. There is something sublime about a fulfilling relationship with intimacy and connection.

As far as text frequency? Concur with others. Do what you want within reason but short of texting incessantly all day each day. Remember people fall in love with 2 things:

1. How they imagine you when you are NOT present (give enough space to allow her to wonder, AKA mysteriousness)

2. How they FEEL when they interact with you.

Master those two things through reading her responses (reading between the lines to a degree) and you will master seduction.

If I am occupying mental/emotional space in a man’s brain when I am not around? And he feels like a pleased king when I am around? Guess what? He’s going to catch feelings I don’t care who he is.

Mileage may vary on how you text. Each interaction is its own entity. Try more to read the interaction rather than doing a one size fits all script…

Cheers

 

[Juanto]

Cannot believe what I’m reading for a 41 year old man.

- First date should not be on a Saturday night. The girl will believe you have no other options for a Saturday except her.
- First date should not be dinner.
- You should be looking for a hookup, she should want the relationship. Remember, women want freedom and hate nourishing men

If the woman is anywhere around 41, her tongue better be down your throat in 17 seconds on the next date. She is not a virgin 17 times over.

Spot on

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why are you taking her to dinner is my first question? First dates are drinks only or something else low key.