Tactfully benching women and more

[gettinit]

I have a problem that I never thought that I would have. Working on myself seems to have worked all too well. Over the last month, I have been on a marathon of dates and somehow managed to have too many women interested. Since they commonly fall off for one reason or another, I was full speed ahead and managed to end up with more that are interested than I can handle. It's hard to remember details, it packs my schedule and the juggling is mentally draining. As unbelievable as it is to me, they are all pretty cool and attractive. I know, it sucks to be me.

Add to that, I had a drinks date from OLD and it turned out that her apartment and mine share a wall and our balconies are in sight of each other. I'm trying to dissuade her, but the invites to her place keep coming and these invites still have the clear tone of "more than friendly". I flat out told her that we shouldn't date since we are neighbors and it could get weird. If I have another woman over, I also don't want to see her if we sit out there so I may need to install a blind or something.

This has become a "be careful what you wish for" situation and I need to bench a few tactfully because I don't want to burn a bridge and it's too early to know all that much about any of them. I have dumped women (and obviously dumped by some), faded them out, but never purposely benched them for possible later recall.

Maybe freindzoning them would be the best and then "changing my mind" later?

 

[2Rocky]

Be straight up with her. Tell her you never planned to meet "the girl next door" on OLD. But you are at a place where you want to date a lot of people and you don't want her to judge you for it. Be clear you aren't looking for a monogamous relationship.

Make it clear you aren't going to judge her either. Just be totally open and honest and you might be surprised how it works for you. she might be ok with being a FWB when convenient for her and you. She might want to wait until you get your slut phase over with and try to tie you down, or she may be feeling the same thing.

If you don't try to game the situation and speak from your heart, you don't have to guess what she wants....just what you want....

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The amount of effort I have saw guys put into lies and nonsense when the chick was just interested in them in the first place is nuts, hell back in the day everyone in pua was just telling lies but it's taxing on your mind, just be authentic, know that these women will find out about each other and ask questions, if they find out you lie through talking, you just blew your **** up.

They will have you checked out, women are Creepy like that, they'll follow you N ****, you have to really set the boundaries, limitations and be authentic, it's hard but it's part of the game.

 

[MatureDJ]

I say keep them in a soft harem. Nothing gets the hamster going like competition for a man.

Now, unless you are Chad-tier, the only way that you could possibly have such a harem is if these chicks have a lower-tier attribute like being chunky.

 

[Serenity]

I think with the chick next door you might as well just be clear about what you're doing. That you're seeing other women and intend to keep doing so. Then you don't have to hide what she already knows. Maybe she'll be fine with it and want a piece of you knowing she won't have you by herself. Maybe she doesn't like the idea of sharing you and loses interest, sounds like you very well can afford that in your situation anyways.

The worst that could happen is your neighbor being obsessive and jealous and actively try to sabotage when you have other women over.

 

[andreihaha]

Yeah, I agree that honesty is the best policy.
Also, I saw a guy suggesting a FWB situation, that's actually what could make things even worse.
Make it clear that you intent to keep things polite with her, being her neighbour could benefit you in the future.

 

[gettinit]

@MatureDJ Again, I'm baffled. I have gotten myself in pretty good shape, my face is thinner and I have developed somewhat of a IDGAF attitude. Believe me, I don't see myself as a Chad, but these women seem to think so. Only one looks a bit chunky, but it seems more her build than fat and she still looks good. To each their own, but "thicker" girls aren't my thing.

The worst that could happen is your neighbor being obsessive and jealous and actively try to sabotage when you have other women over.

Exactly.

Last night, I caved, grabbed a few beers and went over to the neighbors place. I was treating her like a neighbor and she brought up OLD. She started asking how many dates a month I have been going on. I thought - perfect - and told it all. Any question she asked, I was open and truthful. I even told her about the dates that I had set up this week, right down to the names (she asked). Sure enough, she calls me a player. That was something that I actually denied since the hard definition is someone who is only out to seduce. In the distant past, sure, but I'm also looking for substance now and would really like to eventually find one that makes the grade for an LTR.
I asked where her bathroom was and she said "use mine". When I came out she was sitting on her bed looking at her phone and said she wanted to show me some pictures and motioned me to join her. I sat down and she showed me a few pics related to what we were talking about earlier. She looked over at me and aggressively kissed me. When we broke apart, I said "your kid is in the house and I'm thirsty". I then got up and went back to her balcony. Aside from other possible complications, I really didn't want to be the guy that some teenage kid listens to, banging his mother. When leaving, she laid another on me and said "think about that when you are on your dates". This morning she texted me and apologized, blaming the booze, but said that it was hot and also said that she couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't happen again. I'm going to have to make her guarantee it. She is moving at the end of the year, so if feast turns to famine around then, I might go for it.

As far as the others. I hadn't read the advice until this morning. What happened at my neighbors pretty much backs up the advice given here and I'm going to tell the others like it is and own it (if they ask).

I have a first date tonight with yet another and have shut down OLD until I get this sorted out. She is the last in the pipe and too interesting to me to pass by.

 

[Serenity]

Sure enough, she calls me a player.

That's not necessarily a negative thing anyways...

She looked over at me and aggressively kissed me.

...and this is the proof.

I'd say this went as well as it could have gone