Drinking addiction. Need advice.

[Crissco]

SoSuave, I have an issue that i am sure some of you may be able to help me out with here. I am in a 3 year relationship with my current GF. Overall its great, shes a great person, loving, supportive, cooks for me, cleans, willing to even invest some money into my business because she believes in me. BUT here is the kicker, I have a drinking problem, while it may not be as bad as some its still bad enough, i drink about 5-10 beers every night. Sometimes i start as early as 1pm. I lied to her many times about me only drinking two per day(our agreement) yet i drink from 1pm until i fall asleep. Not sure how exactly how to get a handle on this part of my life. This is my only demon in my life at this time. Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Foe]

I'm right behind you bro, not quite that bad but bad enough to know what your doing.

Its pretty easy dude, just stop drinking. I do it about once a week and it lasts for a few days, every day you stop it gets easier, every day you don't it gets harder. Given how long you have been going you might have to ween yourself down but ultimately its possible. Just take up some kind of distraction for yourself, exercise is the most effective I have found so far. Just run until you dont feel like it, Im up to about 12km per week and it makes a massive difference. I have a mate whos worse then me and he stopped cold about 3 weeks ago, says its boring but if he can do it anyone can.

 

[stovepipe]

When it comes to addiction nothing anyone says is really going to help. Change only comes when YOU get tired of YOUR OWN bull chit. If you really want to quit then do it. Yes, it's that simple and no it's not easy, but you will become a stronger version of yourself in the end.

At least you're fully aware of it which most are in denial of which is a positive thing. Your lying might end up being the reason she leaves you the longer you wait to take control.

I've battled many addictions in my life. You get to a point where you're tired of hiding it from people, the negative effects on the mind & body, the cost, the lying. It does sound like you're at that point where you're ready to take control and kick your addiction.


You got this. I believe in you!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Any advice is appreciated.

Easy Way, by Alen Carr

High success rate.

Allen Carr's Quit Drinking Without Willpower: Be a happy nondrinker (Allen Carr's Easyway, 2): Carr, Allen: 9781784045418: Amazon.com: Books

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[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Alcohol is different because it creates a physical dependency, meaning if you aren't dependent which you can't be at 5-10 beer a day then your fine and just need to quit, probably.

My buddy literally starts shaking if he goes an hour sober

 

[speed dawg]

I am probably addicted too (to drinking and smoking), so I quit both for the whole month of July, just to reset things. I don't feel addicted, and my life really isn't affected by it (except for I get tired of people giving me sh*t about it), but I'm not going to be in denial, they are definitely a bit of a crutch for me. I just enjoy doing both. Not many things better to me than a cigarette, and I LOVE to have a mixed drink when my day is done. I hardly ever get drunk, I just like to have one/two per day.

Anyways, I noticed it getting a little out of control, so I am just cutting it for a while. Exercise and sex is about the only thing that keeps my mind off of it, if I'm honest.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

SoSuave, I have an issue that i am sure some of you may be able to help me out with here. I am in a 3 year relationship with my current GF. Overall its great, shes a great person, loving, supportive, cooks for me, cleans, willing to even invest some money into my business because she believes in me. BUT here is the kicker, I have a drinking problem, while it may not be as bad as some its still bad enough, i drink about 5-10 beers every night. Sometimes i start as early as 1pm. I lied to her many times about me only drinking two per day(our agreement) yet i drink from 1pm until i fall asleep. Not sure how exactly how to get a handle on this part of my life. This is my only demon in my life at this time. Any advice is appreciated.

That's pretty bad. I probably haven't had 10 beers on the last 3 months by comparison.

A forum isn't going to help. You know you have a problem. Go get help professionally and go to AA meetings.

You got this man!

 

[corrector]

Listen to me, as I will only say this once.

STOP DRINKING, in Jesus name.

You will not drink another sip of beer again.

 

[Reyaj]

I had 5 beers today myself.

I'm not sure how often and how many makes someone considered an addict, but it sure makes life feel better sometimes lol

 

[SW15]

A forum isn't going to help. You know you have a problem. Go get help professionally and go to AA meetings.

You got this man!

Go to rehab! I agree with this advice.

 

[Machine10033]

I think the problem is so many people have drinking problems today it’s easy to rationalize and say I’m good. I do this myself... 3-4 nights a week I have a bottle or slightly more of wine a night. That’s horrible and I know it....l but then I hear my buddies talk about downing 2 bottles of vodka during the week or drinking 8 or more beers a night and find myself thinking it’s normal.

My advice is get help ...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think the problem is so many people have drinking problems today it’s easy to rationalize and say I’m good. I do this myself... 3-4 nights a week I have a bottle or slightly more of wine a night. That’s horrible and I know it....l but then I hear my buddies talk about downing 2 bottles of vodka during the week or drinking 8 or more beers a night and find myself thinking it’s normal.

My advice is get help ...

That's not normal no matter how badly someone wants to convince themselves it is. And honestly if OP is spending time around people like that, the first thing he needs to do is distance himself form them ASAP.

Show me who your 3 closest friends are and I will show you who you are.

 

[Crissco]

That's not normal no matter how badly someone wants to convince themselves it is. And honestly if OP is spending time around people like that, the first thing he needs to do is distance himself form them ASAP.

Show me who your 3 closest friends are and I will show you who you are.

All honesty, i drink alone, its even worse, i know

 

[BackInTheGame78]

All honesty, i drink alone, its even worse, i know

Most alcoholics do. Not trying to bash you, just the way it normally goes based on findings. Hopefully you are willing to take the steps to correct things before your life spirals out of control.

 

[Reyaj]

All honesty, i drink alone, its even worse, i know

Are you able to go a day or two straight without drinking if you chose to? If the answer is Yes I don't think you have a problem. If the answer is No, you may.

 

[Crissco]

Are you able to go a day or two straight without drinking if you chose to? If the answer is Yes I don't think you have a problem. If the answer is No, you may.

Yes, ive gone two weeks with out, used to drink every other day, i can do a day or two straight.

 

[Heathcliff]

Been sober two years. I dont think about it. I dont miss it. It was easy, but all this time I didnt know that it was easy to quit.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Better to drink alone than in bad company, don't worry about that. You're putting a lot of subjective judgements on your own behavior. You don't need to add to the situation. It is what it is. Look at objectively and take appropriate action according to what's best for your needs (not necessarily your wants).



This is an issue. Lies will make you inauthentic and will fracture your reality. And they will poison your ltr. Rid yourself of lies and sneaky behavior even if you are going to drink ten drinks per day (not recommending that). You drink one beer. Own it. You drink two. Own it. You drink ten. Own it. This is for you. Deception will ruin your mind.

Practice:
1. Being brutally honest
2. Set boundaries with yourself and follow through with them. (back to honesty if you don't)
3. Responsibilities : choose some chores to do around the house and do them daily. For example sweep mop and clean the bathroom, sweep mop clean bedroom and make bed. Do it at a time where you would normally start drinking. If you don't do it, see number 1.



I was going to say yeah this is an issue as you shouldn't be making agreements or negotiating with the woman in your life. As a man you need to embrace your madness, your rules or take full responsibility. But that being said, I get it, you already too far gone with not holding your own / going into the lying and sneaky behavior. So she is supporting you. Use the honesty part with her and tell her the boundaries that you are setting for yourself. She can be an accountable partner.

Add these:
4. Stop any shaming of yourself. It is what it is. Shame creates guilt, guilt seeks punishment.
5. Confront any issues you have that pop up with her or anyone else in a diplomatic way. This prevents holding onto resentment which turns into a reason to go back into a pit of self pity and binge drink.

"help" is an illusion. "rehab" does nothing. "meetings" are pointless. "addiction" is just another buzz word. "therapy" is for women and gays.

You have simply cultivated a habit. If you wish to continue like this just keep cultivating the habit. If you wish to change stop cultivating the habit. Bad habits can be broken. New ones implemented.

You are a man. Desire is perfectly within your control. You decide what you desire. You decide what no longer serves you.

You are responsible for cultivating this habit.
You are responsible for maintaining this habit.
You are responsible for ending this habit.

All perfectly within your control.

You can do it.

You are a man in control of his own life.

Sorry bro. Addictions are real. You obviously have never seen an addict get physically sick to the point they are shaking uncontrollably and look like they are about to die(and is some extreme cases actually do).

That isn't a buzz word. That's how the brain works when it is seeking something it feels it needs to have due to it becoming dependant on it and isn't being given.

Change the questions you ask yourself and you can change your life. Most people ask themself questions that are negatively biased, self sabotaging or do nothing to identify the problem and actively work towards a solution. In fact usually quite the opposite. Be aware of the self talk you are using internally. Changes must start from within...

Thoughts-->Feelings-->Behaviors-->Results