When to text after first date.

[Foe]

So had a date last night and it went well. Kiss goodnight and I get a message "home safe".

This morning I text "had a great time last night, hope you enjoyed yourself" She writes back "I did!"

So now Im stuck, do I wait a few days or keep the convo going? Wait for her to tell me when shes ready to see me again or lock something in now.

 

[Datinglife26]

So had a date last night and it went well. Kiss goodnight and I get a message "home safe".

This morning I text "had a great time last night, hope you enjoyed yourself" She writes back "I did!"

So now Im stuck, do I wait a few days or keep the convo going? Wait for her to tell me when shes ready to see me again or lock something in now.

Wait 2 days, then reach out and ask her when she is free to get together next. Pick a day and set up a definite date.

Rinse and repeat until she does all the calling after dates.

 

[SW15]

After a date, no texts for at least 5 days unless she texts you first. @EyeBRollin is the master of this technique.

 

[bat soup]

So had a date last night and it went well. Kiss goodnight and I get a message "home safe".

This morning I text "had a great time last night, hope you enjoyed yourself" She writes back "I did!"

So now Im stuck, do I wait a few days or keep the convo going? Wait for her to tell me when shes ready to see me again or lock something in now.

I think you should keep the texting limited to setting up dates. The "had a great time.." text just seems to indicate too much interest and makes you look clingy and desperate. Not that you are, necessarily, but women might interpret it that way. It makes her think she´s got you in her pocket.

Plus, you talked to her but didn't set up a date. That´s always a bad idea. Her answer "I did" is very low investment. She doesn't seem to be making much effort so the whole thing is already way out of balance.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Whenever you want. No time for silly games. If you are desperate no amount of waiting will fix this. If you are confident and sure of yourself no "text too soon" will screw this up.

 

[Serenity]

This morning I text "had a great time last night, hope you enjoyed yourself"

Waiting or not waiting is not the mistake, your mistake is in the quote above. You hope she enjoyed herself, as if you couldn't see that she did. It's a stupid thing to say because it implies that you're either clueless about interpreting human interaction or you lack so much confidence that you were unable to pay attention to anything other than yourself.

If you're going to do a "I had a great time last night" type of message you should add that you'd like seeing her again and begin scheduling the next date in the same message.

You're stuck because you gave a compliment, displayed incompetence and left it hanging after that without doing the obvious when stating you like someone which is to schedule another date. You could still try to go for the "I'd like to see you again" and schedule another date, but it becomes increasingly more awkward the longer you wait after having stated you enjoyed her company.

 

[Foe]

Waiting or not waiting is not the mistake, your mistake is in the quote above. You hope she enjoyed herself, as if you couldn't see that she did. It's a stupid thing to say because it implies that you're either clueless about interpreting human interaction or you lack so much confidence that you were unable to pay attention to anything other than yourself.

If you're going to do a "I had a great time last night" type of message you should add that you'd like seeing her again and begin scheduling the next date in the same message.

You're stuck because you gave a compliment, displayed incompetence and left it hanging after that without doing the obvious when stating you like someone which is to schedule another date. You could still try to go for the "I'd like to see you again" and schedule another date, but it becomes increasingly more awkward the longer you wait after having stated you enjoyed her company.

Yeah man totally agree, I regretted that as soon as I sent it. I'm new to the Alpha male red pill **** and constantly keep reverting back to my beta BS. I think Ill let her go and move on, if she messages Ill set a date.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Yeah man totally agree, I regretted that as soon as I sent it. I'm new to the Alpha male red pill **** and constantly keep reverting back to my beta BS. I think Ill let her go and move on, if she messages Ill set a date.

Contrary to popular belief, there's no 'one-size-fits-all" on how to handle things with women. The important thing is to not attempt to 'over-compensate.' In other words, if you don't think that your response was "alpha enough"... then don't attempt to do something overboard to 'balance' things out.

The secret is that you can still be yourself ... but only if you take charge. Instead of approaching her with "would you like to" ... you, instead approach her with "let's do ...." It's not as if you have to say this in some commanding way. It's more a matter of taking the lead.

 

[Serenity]

Yeah man totally agree, I regretted that as soon as I sent it. I'm new to the Alpha male red pill **** and constantly keep reverting back to my beta BS. I think Ill let her go and move on, if she messages Ill set a date.

Well, as I said you could do a last ditch effort by sending her "I'd like to see you again, how's [time] at [place]" or something like that. Worst thing that could happen is nothing which is the same result as doing nothing.

If it works then don't lose confidence because you judge yourself for making what you consider a mistake. The mistake is void in this particular instance if she's happy to meet you again, continue confidently as if no mistake ever happened.

 

[dasein]

Imagine you were texting a male friend. Would you get into these exchanges? Would you want to have endless cutesy exchanges with your male friend? Probably not. Why do it with women then? Please consider waiting until face to face to offer validation. All texting to a woman is validation. See also "dancing monkey." See also "you almost ALWAYS have something better to do with your precious time, even at a young age... especially at a young age. You need to be DOING THINGS out in the world."

IMO as a reformed texter who quit it nearly 20 years ago? FOR ME, texting women is weak and effeminate, draw your own conclusions for yourself. If they ask about why I don't text them much? either "I don't have time" or "My work is 90% on the phone and I want different in my social life." If they never ask why I don't text? +10 points for them for being chill.

 

[RangerMIke]

Do what you want. If you want to ask her out right away, go ahead and do it. Be yourself.... if you like texting right away, and the woman you are hitting on doesn't like it and you spook her off, no problem, she isn't right for you. If you don't like texting (i.e. me) and you end up with a chick that wants you to text constantly, so she backs off... GREAT, you'll lose her... that only means you were not right for her. @Black Widow Void is 100% correct. DO what you want and let the women figure out if they like it, because really that is all that matters.

Having said that, it is true that MOST chicks will get turned off if you reach out too much too fast, but that doesn't mean you have to change yourself to accommodate them. Don't over think, just be. Just because you like a woman does not mean you have to twist yourself into a knot to accommodate her... because to be perfectly frank, any particular chick can change on a dime. One day what you are doing she loves: the next day she hates it. Do you really want to be in a situation where you are constantly trying to meter your behavior hoping to guess what she wants?

 

[Fruitbat]

Ah, have to say guys as a married man I do envy having these problems.

I should start a new thread “when to text after 3 years of marriage”

 

[AureliusMaximus]

hope you enjoyed yourself

Ha ha...

 

[Glassguy]

Do what you want. If you want to ask her out right away, go ahead and do it. Be yourself.... if you like texting right away, and the woman you are hitting on doesn't like it and you spook her off, no problem, she isn't right for you. If you don't like texting (i.e. me) and you end up with a chick that wants you to text constantly, so she backs off... GREAT, you'll lose her... that only means you were not right for her. @Black Widow Void is 100% correct. DO what you want and let the women figure out if they like it, because really that is all that matters.

Having said that, it is true that MOST chicks will get turned off if you reach out too much too fast, but that doesn't mean you have to change yourself to accommodate them. Don't over think, just be. Just because you like a woman does not mean you have to twist yourself into a knot to accommodate her... because to be perfectly frank, any particular chick can change on a dime. One day what you are doing she loves: the next day she hates it. Do you really want to be in a situation where you are constantly trying to meter your behavior hoping to guess what she wants?

This.

However these days, I text much less in general. I don't recommend tons of texting because when you do get busy, women will start asking why you're not responding back right away. And the more a man texts early on, he is rewarding a woman for her doing nothing to earn it....which is desperate behavior.

I usually tell them to text me that they got home ok. When they do, I'll send back "Great. Thanks for letting me know" and that's it. If she wants to continue texting me about what a great time she had, great. But I won't be the one initiating all the texting. By asking her to let me know when she gets home, I opened the door for HER to spill the beans and let HER invest by initiating texting me.
If she doesn't respond back to my "great thanks for letting me know" then I won't text her again unless she reaches out, as it's a indication of low interest.

A man's actions should mirror the woman's interest level through her ACTIONS.
If you follow this as one or your few rules of texting, you'll automatically be better texting women.

I believe texting less is better and I believe it's not how much you text but WHAT you text that makes all the difference.

 

[Georgepithyou]

At the end of the date i always say "Text me as soon as you get home, so i know you got home safe"

If she is interested she will text, if not you next her

 

[Foe]

So had a date last night and it went well. Kiss goodnight and I get a message "home safe".

This morning I text "had a great time last night, hope you enjoyed yourself" She writes back "I did!"

So now Im stuck, do I wait a few days or keep the convo going? Wait for her to tell me when shes ready to see me again or lock something in now.

Just a update, I invited her for another date, as you guys pointed out this wasnt going to work. She wrote back something about being really disappointed in the way I "said she couldn't love" on the date. Funnily enough the conversation was about red flags and I said how do you get along with your father, she said she hates him, I say that can be considered a red flag. After telling her that "perhaps it was just a miss communication". She went hostile something about "you should learn to be more open and consider other people etc etc" then I got deleted. Funnily I think I was right and picked the red flag which is why she got so butt hurt. On to the next

 

[jimwho]

I don't believe discussing red flags, fathers, and making judgments, was good dating prowess.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Yeah man totally agree, I regretted that as soon as I sent it. I'm new to the Alpha male red pill **** and constantly keep reverting back to my beta BS. I think Ill let her go and move on, if she messages Ill set a date.

Go silent for a couple days then hit her up with a creative date idea, nothing boring or common. Start off by telling her X day and Y time for the date. Be assertive.

Being different is how you land a decent woman as 98% of all guys are dull, unimaginative and boring regardless of looks, $, or whatever. I've had numerous girls tell me about their dates "Yeah, this guy was so good looking but as soon as he opened his mouth I was turned off." Heard this a number of times. Take her rollerblading, hiking, paddle boarding, horseback riding, mini golf, batting cages, go karts (many places here in US have all three of these), zoo, baseball game, art gallery, sushi making class, beer/wine tasting tour, or 1000 other things but the "usual" dates.

Good luck.

 

[Glassguy]

I don't believe discussing red flags, fathers, and making judgments, was good dating prowess.

Correct.

Neither is discussing exes, divorces, plans for the future together and baby names.

Stick with fun stuff that you like to do, what drinks you are going to try together during the date and just talk enough to keep her talking.

Good topics- adventurous things, past traveling, hobbies, interests.

Bad things- past relationships, relationships with parents (if bad), making long term plans with her, anything negative.

Keep it light and fun. Not just the first date but always.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Based on my experience, there is nothing to be gained by waiting X number of days after the date. It’s okay to text the following day (as long as you keep it brief). If a girl is attracted, she’s not going to be turned off because you’ve contacted her too soon. And if she didn’t like you, you are not going to generate attraction by contacting her 5 days later.

Waiting too long to contact can also be seen by girls as an sign of low interest (same way as men would judge such behavior coming from women).