What am I doing wrong here?

[Dam44]

So I was studying in a lecture theatre at night some weeks to my exams and this girl was there. I waited till it was obvious she was tired of reading before I approached her. She seemed so into me and we had a good conversation. I got her number.

We went on a date a few weeks later(delayed by exams), had a good time. She said she wanted drinks only and refused the food.

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while . I tried to see her during her tests but it didn't work out. She had tests but she counter offered

Then I got busy with my exams, when I was done, she still had exams.

After she finished her exams, she texted me about her birthday a day before saying she didn't know how to celebrate it and that she was out of ideas. I get she probably wanted me to ask her out but I didn't because I was going out with friends and we already paid for it.

I ask her to meet the next week and we agreed to see on a Sunday evening. I got there and she doesn't show up. I shoot her a text on WhatsApp "hey, are you still coming". She was offline and I left anyways.(I don't know if this is connected to her birthday) Later that night, she says she was far away from our venue at that time and that she should have told me earlier.

I read her text and got pissed off by it and I reply her with "OK"
Holidays came and I left school on the next Saturday without seeing her. I didn't bother to contact her

Do you think I over reacted? I like this girl and how we get along, we won't see physically till a month or a month and a half.

What am I doing wrong here, how do I step it up. Should I keep texting once in a while or start calling her till we can meet again

PS: We are on different campuses. I'm a medic, she's in arts. This, the exams plus COVID19 made meeting up complicated

 

[SargeMaximus]

I think your logistics/timing were bad and you lost the window. Also you shouldn’t have offered her food but she didn’t seem to count it against you initially

 

[Kotaix]

Why are you getting mad at her? This kind of emotion is exactly what will blow any chances you have with her.

I would just schedule a date when you get back. But be ready to delete her number if you feel like she's blowing you off

 

[Dam44]

I think your logistics/timing were bad and you lost the window. Also you shouldn’t have offered her food but she didn’t seem to count it against you initially

Timing was a issue but it wasn't really my fault.
No, it wasn't my food. It was at a restaurant, I asked her what she wanted

 

[Dam44]

Why are you getting mad at her? This kind of emotion is exactly what will blow any chances you have with her.

I would just schedule a date when you get back. But be ready to delete her number if you feel like she's blowing you off

I was quite pissed off tbh... I felt her excuse was flimsy

I'll do that, thanks

 

[SargeMaximus]

Timing was a issue but it wasn't really my fault.
No, it wasn't my food. It was at a restaurant, I asked her what she wanted

That’s what I mean, buying food is a beta move.

as for the timing, I understand that, but if it were me I would try and schedule things for after events such as these. Get logistics and timing in my favor

 

[Dam44]

That’s what I mean, buying food is a beta move.

as for the timing, I understand that, but if it were me I would try and schedule things for after events such as these. Get logistics and timing in my favor

Lol, seriously? So you don't do dates at restaurants at all? It was a fast food restaurant to be precise not some expensive place.

I'll keep these in mind, thanks

 

[bat soup]

So I was studying in a lecture theatre at night some weeks to my exams and this girl was there. I waited till it was obvious she was tired of reading before I approached her. She seemed so into me and we had a good conversation. I got her number.

We went on a date a few weeks later(delayed by exams), had a good time. She said she wanted drinks only and refused the food.

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while . I tried to see her during her tests but it didn't work out. She had tests but she counter offered

Then I got busy with my exams, when I was done, she still had exams.

After she finished her exams, she texted me about her birthday a day before saying she didn't know how to celebrate it and that she was out of ideas. I get she probably wanted me to ask her out but I didn't because I was going out with friends and we already paid for it.

I ask her to meet the next week and we agreed to see on a Sunday evening. I got there and she doesn't show up. I shoot her a text on WhatsApp "hey, are you still coming". She was offline and I left anyways.(I don't know if this is connected to her birthday) Later that night, she says she was far away from our venue at that time and that she should have told me earlier.

I read her text and got pissed off by it and I reply her with "OK"
Holidays came and I left school on the next Saturday without seeing her. I didn't bother to contact her

Do you think I over reacted? I like this girl and how we get along, we won't see physically till a month or a month and a half.

What am I doing wrong here, how do I step it up. Should I keep texting once in a while or start calling her till we can meet again

PS: We are on different campuses. I'm a medic, she's in arts. This, the exams plus COVID19 made meeting up complicated

She agreed to meet you and didn't show up, without even bothering to let you know, then later came up with some lame excuse about being somewhere else. That shows pretty low interest. So there's a high probability that she's not even worth dealing with.

On the other hand, you should have confirmed the plans the same day just to check she was still coming. If you arrange something far in advance then it makes sense to confirm on the day or the day before.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Lol, seriously? So you don't do dates at restaurants at all? It was a fast food restaurant to be precise not some expensive place.

I'll keep these in mind, thanks

No I don’t. Straight to sex for me

 

[Dam44]

She agreed to meet you and didn't show up, without even bothering to let you know, then later came up with some lame excuse about being somewhere else. That shows pretty low interest. So there's a high probability that she's not even worth dealing with.

That was what pissed me off. Maybe she lost interest along the way but I think she was really interested prior to this

On the other hand, you should have confirmed the plans the same day just to check she was still coming. If you arrange something far in advance then it makes sense to confirm on the day or the day before.

I should have done this, I didn't

 

[Dam44]

No I don’t. Straight to sex for me

How often does that work

 

[SargeMaximus]

How often does that work

Often enough

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I was studying in a lecture theatre at night some weeks to my exams and this girl was there. I waited till it was obvious she was tired of reading before I approached her. She seemed so into me and we had a good conversation. I got her number.

We went on a date a few weeks later(delayed by exams), had a good time. She said she wanted drinks only and refused the food.

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while . I tried to see her during her tests but it didn't work out. She had tests but she counter offered

Then I got busy with my exams, when I was done, she still had exams.

After she finished her exams, she texted me about her birthday a day before saying she didn't know how to celebrate it and that she was out of ideas. I get she probably wanted me to ask her out but I didn't because I was going out with friends and we already paid for it.

I ask her to meet the next week and we agreed to see on a Sunday evening. I got there and she doesn't show up. I shoot her a text on WhatsApp "hey, are you still coming". She was offline and I left anyways.(I don't know if this is connected to her birthday) Later that night, she says she was far away from our venue at that time and that she should have told me earlier.

I read her text and got pissed off by it and I reply her with "OK"
Holidays came and I left school on the next Saturday without seeing her. I didn't bother to contact her

Do you think I over reacted? I like this girl and how we get along, we won't see physically till a month or a month and a half.

What am I doing wrong here, how do I step it up. Should I keep texting once in a while or start calling her till we can meet again

PS: We are on different campuses. I'm a medic, she's in arts. This, the exams plus COVID19 made meeting up complicated

Make her invest in you. Allow her to plan something this time around. Her not showing up to a priorly agreed time is a sign of disrespect and that is huge to me. I usually move on, unless again, she invests time and resources into me.

Cut contact and do your thing for now until she reaches back out. If she doesn't, well there you have it.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Lookatu]

Her not showing up to a priorly agreed time is a sign of disrespect and that is huge to me. I usually move on, unless again, she invests time and resources into me.

Agree.

This more so than low interest IMO. The fact that she didn't have the respect to let you know earlier that she couldn't make it and left you hanging is a big thing. I say big because if you give her one inch with getting away with disrespect, she'll use you as a door mat and take a foot eventually. She'll keep testing little by little to see what she can get away with.

If she had a solid excuse, is one thing but sounds like that's not the case here.

I've had girls that were wishy washy with low-medium interest before but they still respected me enough to tell me in advance that they couldn't make it, allowing me time to make other plans with someone else. That's the difference between low interest and disrespect.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Agree.

This more so than low interest IMO. The fact that she didn't have the respect to let you know earlier that she couldn't make it and left you hanging is a big thing. I say big because if you give her one inch with getting away with disrespect, she'll use you as a door mat and take a foot eventually. She'll keep testing little by little to see what she can get away with.

If she had a solid excuse, is one thing but sounds like that's not the case here.

I've had girls that were wishy washy with low-medium interest before but they still respected me enough to tell me in advance that they couldn't make it, allowing me time to make other plans with someone else. That's the difference between low interest and disrespect.

100%. Disrespect is huge.

Modern Man Advice

 

[derby1]

How often does that work

Not very.

try it. women still want courting within reason. Most modern women are 100% neurotic.

one wrong move and their ASD will come up. presuming your a player.

Dont believe their pulling theyre pants down for Alphas, theyre not.

I have about 5 women who will pull their pants down for me instantly, they radiate back to me when they split from a chap about once a year.. However its only because I've known them for years.

 

[Murk]

You should have capitalised on that drinking date and taken her back to your place.

Moving too slow and cautious will lose you many bangs, my friend.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So I was studying in a lecture theatre at night some weeks to my exams and this girl was there. I waited till it was obvious she was tired of reading before I approached her. She seemed so into me and we had a good conversation. I got her number.

We went on a date a few weeks later(delayed by exams), had a good time. She said she wanted drinks only and refused the food.

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while . I tried to see her during her tests but it didn't work out. She had tests but she counter offered

Then I got busy with my exams, when I was done, she still had exams.

After she finished her exams, she texted me about her birthday a day before saying she didn't know how to celebrate it and that she was out of ideas. I get she probably wanted me to ask her out but I didn't because I was going out with friends and we already paid for it.

I ask her to meet the next week and we agreed to see on a Sunday evening. I got there and she doesn't show up. I shoot her a text on WhatsApp "hey, are you still coming". She was offline and I left anyways.(I don't know if this is connected to her birthday) Later that night, she says she was far away from our venue at that time and that she should have told me earlier.

I read her text and got pissed off by it and I reply her with "OK"
Holidays came and I left school on the next Saturday without seeing her. I didn't bother to contact her

Do you think I over reacted? I like this girl and how we get along, we won't see physically till a month or a month and a half.

What am I doing wrong here, how do I step it up. Should I keep texting once in a while or start calling her till we can meet again

PS: We are on different campuses. I'm a medic, she's in arts. This, the exams plus COVID19 made meeting up complicated

Why are you still trying to make something work with a woman who clearly has no respect for you because she sees you have no respect for yourself?

Delete this woman's number and don't talk to her again. If she reaches out be polite but the only date you are going on is one that happens at your house.

 

[Datinglife26]

Dodged a bullet.

Flaky girls are not worth your time man

 

[ThisIsSparta]

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while .

She was gone at that point.

As i read it, you didnt escalate after your initial date and let the weeks pass before making your next half-hearted move.

"Due to exams" is just a lame excuse. If there was interest, there would have been a couple hours time for a date.

You simply dropped the ball and took your time picking it up again, by that time the game was over.