Keep her or kick her ass to the curb?

[captain55]

Need some honest advice here fellas. Have a plate I’m seeing, she pushed for commitment. She drives two hours to see me. She’s caught me out with beautiful women before we were official, and still
Kept seeing me. I believe a girl has to prove herself 6 months before I commit but everyone likes her a lot.

the other night we went out with her girlfriend who is best friends with the ex. I knew about this. We saw her exes best friend at the club she told me that’s my ex boyfriends best friend just letting you know in case he’s here. I walked downstairs late at night and she was on the phone with the ex. Her stupid drunk friend I guess called the ex on my girlfriends phone. I confronted her and cursed the guy out and threw her **** out of my apartment thinking she was cheating on me.

she told me she hasn’t seen the guy in 4 years. And he lives in another city. Did some digging and the story checks out. The guy doesn’t even live here

so you tell me fellas. Should I kick this girl to the curb ? Or should I be pissed but am I overreacting?

part of me feels like ending a good thing with a girl
Who treats me like a king and gives me amazing sex, over a drunk phone call with a guy she hasn’t seen in 4 years in another state feels kind of psychopathic. especially when her friend instigated it. But if she’s not to be trusted I wanna get out while I can before I invest.

I Still banged her but I need to know if I should emotionally detach. I don’t wanna get hurt here. My gut says she’s a good girl and I know she loves me but this is ****ing with me. But if I’m acting nuts over this you guys gotta tell me to give her a shot

 

[ThisIsSparta]

she told me she hasn’t seen the guy in 4 years. And he lives in another city. Did some digging and the story checks out.

Thats what she says..... how could you know if she hadnt seen him in 4 years?

Another city is just one ****-the-ex-weekend away.


You walked downstairs late at night where? At your place? What did she talk and why?

 

[captain55]

She said to me “listen i do what i want. This guy and I have years of history but your the person I want to marry and have a family with I love you. If I wanted to be with this dude I would be with him.”

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Need some honest advice here fellas. Have a plate I’m seeing, she pushed for commitment. She drives two hours to see me. She’s caught me out with beautiful women before we were official, and still
Kept seeing me. I believe a girl has to prove herself 6 months before I commit but everyone likes her a lot.

the other night we went out with her girlfriend who is best friends with the ex. I knew about this. We saw her exes best friend at the club she told me that’s my ex boyfriends best friend just letting you know in case he’s here. I walked downstairs late at night and she was on the phone with the ex. Her stupid drunk friend I guess called the ex on my girlfriends phone. I confronted her and cursed the guy out and threw her **** out of my apartment thinking she was cheating on me.

she told me she hasn’t seen the guy in 4 years. And he lives in another city. Did some digging and the story checks out.

so you tell me fellas. Should I kick this girl to the curb ? Or should I be pissed but am I overreacting?

part of me feels like ending a good thing with a girl
Who treats me like a king and gives me amazing sex, over a drunk phone call with a guy she hasn’t seen in 4 years in another state feels kind of psychopathic. especially when her friend instigated it. But if she’s not to be trusted I wanna get out while I can before I invest.

Sounds like you might have overreacted to the situation. Always keep your emotions in check. Even if upsets you, take some time to analyze the situation.

Having said that, sounds like she was honest and has been def making the effort. And if you like her, then commit. My only issue is that 2 hours drive. Does that mean you both live that far apart? If so, that is a no for me. You are in the honeymoon phase and driving 2 hours every time until this point is doable and bearable. Once that is over, the distance will be a factor. What are the plans then? LDRs are unrealistic. So just keep that in mind.

Modern Man Advice

 

[captain55]

Thats what she says..... how could you know if she hadnt seen him in 4 years?

Another city is just one ****-the-ex-weekend away.


You walked downstairs late at night where? At your place? What did she talk and why?

Because she told me weeks ago that the guy had hit her up for drinks weeks before She met me and she was entertaining the idea. I overheard her say “how do I know it’s going to be different this time”...basically implying she hasn’t seen the dude. Her friend and her were in my apartment. I was on the couch about to knock out when she was walking her friend down to the Uber. After 20 minutes went by I walked downstairs and caught her on the phone with the dude. I confronted him and he said they used to date years ago and told
Him “look I’m ****ing this ***** every night and to **** off. “.

1. she was drunk as hell
2. Her friend admitted she called the guy.
3. She admitted it was wrong for entertaining the conversation and could be classified as cheating .

should I ask her for her phone records before I continue to see you? Or give her Benedfit of the doubt What do I do here?

 

[captain55]

Also her interest level in me is extremely high. Most girls withdraw before they cheat ime. So If she is cheating, she’s a ****ing sociopath. But hey some women are..lol

 

[2Rocky]

You were out of line.

If the roles were reversed and a woman behaved like that, you would call her needy and controlling.

If she is 2 hours away you don't owe her monogamy yet and vice versa.

better admit to being wrong

 

[captain55]

You were out of line.

If the roles were reversed and a woman behaved like that, you would call her needy and controlling.

If she is 2 hours away you don't owe her monogamy yet and vice versa.

better admit to being wrong

Appreciate the honesty. Although she said she would Flip if the roles were reversed and probably not talk to me for a few days had I been on the phone with my ex

 

[captain55]

Lmao

Ghost her ?

 

[DonJuanjr]

silence/distance

 

[EyeBRollin]

OP, I suggest therapy.

6 months of proving herself just for monogamy is already neurotic. Then you flipped out for her “cheating on you” yet there was no agreement to exclusivity.

Seek professional help, mate.

 

[DonJuanjr]

She willing accepted the phone call. Even though she didn't initiate it, she still obliged, while drunk.... She also stated if OP did it, she would have flipped. So whether he was in the right or wrong, she states if the roles were reversed it would be unacceptable. In order to maintain frame, I would think silence/distance is the best route. Otherwise it sets the precedence she can do what she thinks is wrong.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She was demanding exclusivity with no intention of reciprocating.

They don’t demand exclusivity without high interest level.

 

[captain55]

OP, I suggest therapy.

6 months of proving herself just for monogamy is already neurotic. Then you flipped out for her “cheating on you” yet there was no agreement to exclusivity.

Seek professional help, mate.

we are exclusive. She entertained the guys conversation, drunk or not I flipped and had a problem with it. I threw her **** out and said **** off. But she legit hasn’t seen the guy in years and the friend of hers was the one who called him that night. My friends understand why I was pissed but they all think I overreacted because there was no intention to meet the guy.

I can either get out now, or just **** her and stay emotionally detached

 

[captain55]

They don’t demand exclusivity without high interest level.

oh her interest level is sky high. Which is why I chose to gave her the benefit of the doubt. I pretty much do whatever I want and she continues to chase me. But that doesn’t make what she did right. She chose to talk to the guy and I caught her. Drunk or not...I’m having a hard time getting past it. I don’t want to be a sucker. Just don’t want to overreact either, she treats me like a king and gives me amazing sex.

 

[captain55]

guys what do I do here. Should I ghost this chick and go bang another chick? Or give her a shot?

 

[EyeBRollin]

we are exclusive. She entertained the guys conversation, drunk or not I flipped and had a problem with it. I threw her **** out and said **** off. But she legit hasn’t seen the guy in years and the friend of hers was the one who called him that night. My friends understand why I was pissed but they all think I overreacted because there was no intention to meet the guy.

I can either get out now, or just **** her and stay emotionally detached

In that case, yes you still overreacted. I still suggest therapy.

 

[Barrister]

Need some honest advice here fellas. Have a plate I’m seeing, she pushed for commitment. She drives two hours to see me. She’s caught me out with beautiful women before we were official, and still
Kept seeing me. I believe a girl has to prove herself 6 months before I commit but everyone likes her a lot.

the other night we went out with her girlfriend who is best friends with the ex. I knew about this. We saw her exes best friend at the club she told me that’s my ex boyfriends best friend just letting you know in case he’s here. I walked downstairs late at night and she was on the phone with the ex. Her stupid drunk friend I guess called the ex on my girlfriends phone. I confronted her and cursed the guy out and threw her **** out of my apartment thinking she was cheating on me.

she told me she hasn’t seen the guy in 4 years. And he lives in another city. Did some digging and the story checks out. The guy doesn’t even live here

so you tell me fellas. Should I kick this girl to the curb ? Or should I be pissed but am I overreacting?

part of me feels like ending a good thing with a girl
Who treats me like a king and gives me amazing sex, over a drunk phone call with a guy she hasn’t seen in 4 years in another state feels kind of psychopathic. especially when her friend instigated it. But if she’s not to be trusted I wanna get out while I can before I invest.

I Still banged her but I need to know if I should emotionally detach. I don’t wanna get hurt here. My gut says she’s a good girl and I know she loves me but this is ****ing with me. But if I’m acting nuts over this you guys gotta tell me to give her a shot

Not going to lie, you sound very paranoid. I am guessing you have been cheated on before. I agree with others that this was a pretty severe overreaction and you lost a lot of frame here with this woman by acting the way you did. I do agree that talking to the guy that late at night is somewhat borderline-ish behavior on her part, but you should have told her it was unacceptable calmly afterwards then employed S&D if she didn't comply following that discussion.

At this point, I think I would withdraw and see how she reacts. If she comes after you despite your outburst I think you stick with it for now and see how it proceeds. If she doesn't, you move on to the next.

 

[RickTheToad]

Need some honest advice here fellas. Have a plate I’m seeing, she pushed for commitment. She drives two hours to see me. She’s caught me out with beautiful women before we were official, and still
Kept seeing me. I believe a girl has to prove herself 6 months before I commit but everyone likes her a lot.

the other night we went out with her girlfriend who is best friends with the ex. I knew about this. We saw her exes best friend at the club she told me that’s my ex boyfriends best friend just letting you know in case he’s here. I walked downstairs late at night and she was on the phone with the ex. Her stupid drunk friend I guess called the ex on my girlfriends phone. I confronted her and cursed the guy out and threw her **** out of my apartment thinking she was cheating on me.

she told me she hasn’t seen the guy in 4 years. And he lives in another city. Did some digging and the story checks out. The guy doesn’t even live here

so you tell me fellas. Should I kick this girl to the curb ? Or should I be pissed but am I overreacting?

part of me feels like ending a good thing with a girl
Who treats me like a king and gives me amazing sex, over a drunk phone call with a guy she hasn’t seen in 4 years in another state feels kind of psychopathic. especially when her friend instigated it. But if she’s not to be trusted I wanna get out while I can before I invest.

I Still banged her but I need to know if I should emotionally detach. I don’t wanna get hurt here. My gut says she’s a good girl and I know she loves me but this is ****ing with me. But if I’m acting nuts over this you guys gotta tell me to give her a shot

Seems you may have over-reacted just a tad..

 

[captain55]

Anyways guys I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt. She’s got a great ass and we have pirnstsr

Not going to lie, you sound very paranoid. I am guessing you have been cheated on before. I agree with others that this was a pretty severe overreaction and you lost a lot of frame here with this woman by acting the way you did. I do agree that talking to the guy that late at night is somewhat borderline-ish behavior on her part, but you should have told her it was unacceptable calmly afterwards then employed S&D if she didn't comply following that discussion.

At this point, I think I would withdraw and see how she reacts. If she comes after you despite your outburst I think you stick with it for now and see how it proceeds. If she doesn't, you move on to the next.

She is complying. I tried throwing her out and she stayed here refusing to leave and is ****ing my brains out. I care about her but I am not scared to lose her. I think that’s what is keeping her around honestly, she knows I’m not all in. But do I let myself really fall in love with this woman. Or just bang her and enjoy it for now...she is all in telling me she loves me and putting a lot of effort in