Finally met someone I really like

[Designer Man]

I met a girl 4 weeks ago, she's 39, I'm 35. We hit it off quite well and had good chemistry, it was all fun and things were going well. We've both put effort in and spent time together, both staying over at each others houses. The first sign of something not quite right came a week after we first met, I stayed at hers and we planned to go out for a walk the next day. The weather was bad so the walk was cancelled and her mood was a bit off, we had a minor disagreement about plans for the day and she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down etc. I went home, didnt contact her and got a text a few hours later apologising. I left it at that but it made me wary around her and I felt like I had to think twice about what i was gonna say in case she lost it again.

A week later she asked me over to her house so I got my stuff ready to go yet she started becoming hesitant on times because of childcare issues and ended up arguing with me again, in the end we patched up and I went over that night. Things were soon rectified.

Now I've been through a pretty tough situation this last week, I had to move into an Airbnb due to an issue with moving into a house so I've been a bit stressed about it the last few days and when we have spoke on the phone she has said I've been sounding down and its killing the vibe. I said it is temporary and will pass but she really had a go saying I need to man up and cheer up, she said it was getting her down and she didnt think she could carry on because she feels too emotionally invested in my issues. I told her things will be ok and she said I'm not interested in her problems and she thinks I'm selfish. Now we've been speaking tonight but the whole dynamic has changed, I can feel it in my stomach that something isnt right and the texts have completely changed. I have feelings for her and want to get things back on track and to begin fun and flirty again but surely it hasnt burnt out so quick?

 

[Lookatu]

Sounds a little NPD + BPD (Narcissistic + Bipolar). If you've never been with one, it leaves you feeling confused like WTF moments you're experiencing now.

I would maintain frame and put in low effort to keep her as a plate. Otherwise, I'd look elsewhere in investing any of your time/emotions with.

 

[Billtx49]

she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down

what i was gonna say in case she lost it again.

ended up arguing with me again

she feels too emotionally invested in my issues.

I can feel it in my stomach that something isnt right

Complete loss of emotional control over something minor…

You can’t reason with crazy…

Frequent conflicts a pattern for her?

Invested after 4 weeks??

It’s your gut pointing to the Exit door…

 

[Designer Man]

The crazy thing is, she works in mental health yet when I've been feeling low she has backed away. I'm not expecting her to take on my problems but I would appreciate it if she was a bit more respectful about them and understand I'm going through a stressful period in my life.

 

[BMX]

The crazy thing is, she works in mental health yet when I've been feeling low she has backed away. I'm not expecting her to take on my problems but I would appreciate it if she was a bit more respectful about them and understand I'm going through a stressful period in my life.

She'll wait until you are feeling well again to come around and bleed you dry of all your resources. Point out all of her fatal flaws since she is a "mental health professional" and tell her welcome to 2021... It is no longer 1812. You can see through her bullsh. **It's not a matter of how fast you can run but rather how far you can run at this point**

 

[bat soup]

a minor disagreement about plans for the day and she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down etc. I went home, didnt contact her and got a text a few hours later apologising. I left it at that but it made me wary aro

I met a girl 4 weeks ago, she's 39, I'm 35. We hit it off quite well and had good chemistry, it was all fun and things were going well. We've both put effort in and spent time together, both staying over at each others houses. The first sign of something not quite right came a week after we first met, I stayed at hers and we planned to go out for a walk the next day. The weather was bad so the walk was cancelled and her mood was a bit off, we had a minor disagreement about plans for the day and she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down etc. I went home, didnt contact her and got a text a few hours later apologising. I left it at that but it made me wary around her and I felt like I had to think twice about what i was gonna say in case she lost it again.

A week later she asked me over to her house so I got my stuff ready to go yet she started becoming hesitant on times because of childcare issues and ended up arguing with me again, in the end we patched up and I went over that night. Things were soon rectified.

Now I've been through a pretty tough situation this last week, I had to move into an Airbnb due to an issue with moving into a house so I've been a bit stressed about it the last few days and when we have spoke on the phone she has said I've been sounding down and its killing the vibe. I said it is temporary and will pass but she really had a go saying I need to man up and cheer up, she said it was getting her down and she didnt think she could carry on because she feels too emotionally invested in my issues. I told her things will be ok and she said I'm not interested in her problems and she thinks I'm selfish. Now we've been speaking tonight but the whole dynamic has changed, I can feel it in my stomach that something isnt right and the texts have completely changed. I have feelings for her and want to get things back on track and to begin fun and flirty again but surely it hasnt burnt out so quick?

She sounds like a psycho and she's 39. Replace her with a 29 year old and then tell her about it.

 

[jaymbrs]

She sounds exactly like my ex who just turned 40. I feel like that's who you're talking about. Anyway, same scenarios where she's cool as hell, we could talk about anything and everything very openly but say 1 thing wrong, and she would throw a temper tantrum, which was way more likely when alcohol was involved. I did alot to try and help the situations but nothing worked. Having gone through that with my ex, I wouldn't continue any further with this woman if I were you.

 

[metalwater]

I actually know of this one girl who had another girl tell her that to manage her man she needs to be unpredictable and explode occasionally so that he will be manageable. After; I realized that the one telling has been doing that to her man for a long time.

This is not what you want for an LTR, anyone can do better.

 

[Grounded eagle]

I met a girl 4 weeks ago, she's 39, I'm 35. We hit it off quite well and had good chemistry, it was all fun and things were going well. We've both put effort in and spent time together, both staying over at each others houses. The first sign of something not quite right came a week after we first met, I stayed at hers and we planned to go out for a walk the next day. The weather was bad so the walk was cancelled and her mood was a bit off, we had a minor disagreement about plans for the day and she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down etc. I went home, didnt contact her and got a text a few hours later apologising. I left it at that but it made me wary around her and I felt like I had to think twice about what i was gonna say in case she lost it again.

A week later she asked me over to her house so I got my stuff ready to go yet she started becoming hesitant on times because of childcare issues and ended up arguing with me again, in the end we patched up and I went over that night. Things were soon rectified.

Now I've been through a pretty tough situation this last week, I had to move into an Airbnb due to an issue with moving into a house so I've been a bit stressed about it the last few days and when we have spoke on the phone she has said I've been sounding down and its killing the vibe. I said it is temporary and will pass but she really had a go saying I need to man up and cheer up, she said it was getting her down and she didnt think she could carry on because she feels too emotionally invested in my issues. I told her things will be ok and she said I'm not interested in her problems and she thinks I'm selfish. Now we've been speaking tonight but the whole dynamic has changed, I can feel it in my stomach that something isnt right and the texts have completely changed. I have feelings for her and want to get things back on track and to begin fun and flirty again but surely it hasnt burnt out so quick?

She’s bad news man.Lots of red flags.The other posters have pretty much nailed it.I’d forget her if I were you.

 

[soulforge]

ABORT ABORT ABORT

 

[Designer Man]

Thank you. It doesn't seem to bode well. Plus another thing is she spoke highly of her BJ skills and I just wasn't enjoying her style, had to think of someone else to finish. Now that certainly isnt a good sign!

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I know what it's like to get love bombed by a bpd hb after a seemingly endless dry spell, it's hard to resist. But it's for the best.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

This is you........

....... you know what to do!

 

[Datinglife26]

This behaviour (to a high value man) should be an instant eject OP.

She is 39, single and has kids.

You are 35. You could bag a woman in her 20s if you really wanted.

I had a girl come on super hot then back off without me doing anything to turn her off. I walked away.
These women have issues.

This is a plate and nothing more.

Raise your standards man.

 

[BMX]

You'd be safer and do much better by going home and jerking off to some good 'ol "pron". Then send her an anonymous Get Well! card telling her to enjoy her cats and all the black eyes her future lovers are going to give her. She's not worth it, your gut even knows so. Or you can stick your d!ck in crazy and give us some bizarre follow up report where you tell us all about how you got stabbed and screamed at.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds a little NPD + BPD (Narcissistic + Bipolar). If you've never been with one, it leaves you feeling confused like WTF moments you're experiencing now.

I would maintain frame and put in low effort to keep her as a plate. Otherwise, I'd look elsewhere in investing any of your time/emotions with.

These women do things to test the man to ensure he will stay like a rock and will not be swayed by their emotional outbursts.

They need to know a man will be centered and they will always be able to rely on him to be a rock they can rely on when their emotions are all over the place.

Literally the way to handle these is to be completely nonreactive and to simply let her know you do not tolerate that type of behavior and walk away and to let her know to contact you again when she feels more in control of herself.

But OP, it will get worse before it gets better and if you cannot handle this properly you will get roped into craziness that could leave you feeling broken.

Proceed with caution. Staying over at a woman's house a week after meeting seems way way too fast.

 

[Lookatu]

The crazy thing is, she works in mental health

Bro, those are the worst types. Logically, you wouldn't think so but in reality, a lot of females that work in that profession has some deep rooted issues. It's the main driver as to why they were interested in it in the first place. Some end up working themselves out after entering the profession but a lot of them don't.

I've dated over a dozen of them and they all had some deep issues. The last one I dated was a director of mental health services for a major hospital. She reported directly to the CMO(Chief Medical Officer) and I just couldn't believe even someone on her level would have some dark issues that she hasn't even worked out yet.

 

[Kotaix]

A woman that actually tells the truth? Nice.

She's literally telling you to stop moping and man up. Do not talk about your problems with women you're interested in.

Is she more feminine or feminist?

 

[Glassguy]

Bytch is crazy and OP you need to get your shyte straight yourself. Go work on yourself and run from this chick.

 

[dude99]

I met a girl 4 weeks ago, she's 39, I'm 35. We hit it off quite well and had good chemistry, it was all fun and things were going well. We've both put effort in and spent time together, both staying over at each others houses. The first sign of something not quite right came a week after we first met, I stayed at hers and we planned to go out for a walk the next day. The weather was bad so the walk was cancelled and her mood was a bit off, we had a minor disagreement about plans for the day and she completely lost it and starting slamming cups down etc. I went home, didnt contact her and got a text a few hours later apologising. I left it at that but it made me wary around her and I felt like I had to think twice about what i was gonna say in case she lost it again.

A week later she asked me over to her house so I got my stuff ready to go yet she started becoming hesitant on times because of childcare issues and ended up arguing with me again, in the end we patched up and I went over that night. Things were soon rectified.

Now I've been through a pretty tough situation this last week, I had to move into an Airbnb due to an issue with moving into a house so I've been a bit stressed about it the last few days and when we have spoke on the phone she has said I've been sounding down and its killing the vibe. I said it is temporary and will pass but she really had a go saying I need to man up and cheer up, she said it was getting her down and she didnt think she could carry on because she feels too emotionally invested in my issues. I told her things will be ok and she said I'm not interested in her problems and she thinks I'm selfish. Now we've been speaking tonight but the whole dynamic has changed, I can feel it in my stomach that something isnt right and the texts have completely changed. I have feelings for her and want to get things back on track and to begin fun and flirty again but surely it hasnt burnt out so quick?

She sounds like a self centered selfish biatch that wants you for nothing but to entertain her on her wished.

This whole thing is a giant red flag.

Your next words to her should be this and nothing more.
"Hey i have given this an honest effort, it has only been 4 weeks, and i don't see a future for us. I wish you the best but i am going to see other people."